a/n:

Again, sorry to whoever came up with the title Where No Man Has Gone Before. Or... something like that. If you haven't noticed... there's a pattern here with the title chapters. If you mind that we're using the one above as a base for ours, message us and threaten or something. We'll change it. XD

Okay... so this was a little later than we planned to post this chappie, but... it's all Cid's fault! -glares at Cid-. She had to go get herself in trouble and not get Internet connections! -shakes head- How inconsiderate of her! XD Anyhoo... this chappie's pretty long (try almost 8,000 words O.O), but at least it makes up for the wait. So, without further ado... action!

"The last time I ate a ball of cotton, it was white. And it did not taste very good." —Starfire

Where No Beast Boy Has Gone Before

A clap of thunder joined the swift sounds of rain.

Raven pulled her blankets closer and tried to dig deeper into sleep. She attempted to drone out the noisy clamor of the storm. And failed.

Thump. Thump. Thump.

She felt prompt vibrations ring through her mind and closed her eyes vehemently, trying to ignore what she could only describe as insanity. A loud cow bell replaced the thumping.

Raven ignored it.

'Ravie...' a dim voice spoke from the depths of her mind.

'No...' Raven thought unfocusedly.

'It won't work Rae... quit trying to suppress us... you know we'll just strain harder..."

A cold merciless laugh filled Raven's mind.

'No...' she repeated, but it was a weak attempt of ignorance.

'Oh yes, Raven... you're holding back... but it's okay... we've got till dawn to settle this.'

The icy laugh again. This time, more like a cackle.

Raven said nothing this time. She lay shivering under her blankets, the dark clock in the corner of the room chiming softly. Faintly, she counted two strokes and listened as the harsh rain beat against the Tower.

'Rae... do you know what time it is?'

Raven was silent.

'It's time, Rae... you know the rest right?'

Raven shivered and muttered, "…What are you?"

A tinkling laugh of wind chimes.

'You know who I am, Rae-Rae... '

'Right,' Raven thought tartly.

'Right!'

An image of a girl cocking her head filled Raven's mind, standing as if considering something.

'You know what, Rae? I think I'll sing you a song. A really nice pretty lullaby for you to sleep. Doesn't that sound enchanting'

Raven heard the cruel laugh again.

Softly, a rather repugnant and obnoxious melody started, 'Hush little baby don't you cry... momma's gonna sing you a lullaby!'

'Get out of my head!' Raven thought vehemently.

The voice paused slightly, but continued louder, almost shrieking, 'Hush little baby, don't say a word... mama's gonna buy you a mocking bird!'

Raven's head buzzed with a million pictures. She couldn't stop the flood of images that engulfed her. Raven winced at all the smiley faces and pink.

'If that mocking bird won't sing... mama's gonna buy you a diamond ring!'

'Stop...' Raven thought.

'If that diamond ring turns brass, mama's gonna buy you a looking glass!'

"Stop!" she shouted.

As if her mind finally began functioning again, she leapt out of bed, shivering with the cold.

"Get out of my mind," she said tersely.

'Ravie, talking to yourself is a bad sign... it can lead to doctors... and scary white rooms. We don't want that.'

"Don't tell me what I want," she trembled from standing on the cold floor, her pale feet bare.

'I know what you want. And right now, you'd rather be warm under your soft blankets, dozing off to blissful sleep...' the voice paused.

The icy laugh.

'... But I won't let that happen.'

Raven was indecisive for a second. She was confused... cold... afraid of what this voice could be... and terrified of the pink. She felt this fear deep within her body, and it wanted release. She drew a shaky breath. Was there much of a choice?

'What's the matter Ravie? Afraid you might be going insane?'

The pitiless laugh again.

'Don't worry, Rae. By sunrise... you will be. And then you'll surrender. Yes, Rae, you'll give me exactly what I want.'

"Fine. I won't stop you."

'What are you talking about Ravie? Is the lullaby getting to your head? Dear me, I've accomplished my mission!'

Raven slightly smirked, already heading towards the door, a set purpose in her mind.

'Oh, so I have! Pray tell, what is this great plan of yours? You know you can't get rid of me... there aren't many options, Rae. Face the truth; you can't do anything about it. So just give up now. Let go of your powers, Raven. By tomorrow morning, you'll be defeated anyway.'

Raven pulled the door open and considered those harsh words. There really wasn't much of a choice. She felt weak. Unable to do anything. Powerless. Words meant nothing to this strange voice.

"You win."

'You're becoming easy prey, Raven. Have you really sunk so low? I'm almost... disappointed!'

Raven's mind tumbled with exhaustion. It would be so easy to lie down and let this voice mercilessly overtake her. But as she stepped over the threshold, a new will shone through her.

"I told you to get out of my head. You didn't listen."

'Now what kind of a host would I be then? To actually listen to my losing quarry? Tsk tsk...you've learned nothing, Ravie.'

Raven was silent. She lined up her thoughts, considering them coherently, and then sighed. She'd better do this while she still had the stamina for it.

'Wait. What are you thinking, Raven? Not that. You can't be thinking that!' the voice was alarmed.

Raven entered the silent hallway, doubts still flooding her mind. Was she serious? Did she actually want to go through with this?

'I've wanted to do this for some time,' she thought, '...Now I just have a better background to support it.'

From deep within Raven's mind... eight voices were shouting in panicked tones.

"She can't do this!" Happy protested, genuinely alarmed.

"'Twill is the end of us! Does she not realize the grave consequences of what she plans!" Knowledge added.

"If you ask me, she's just being stupid and an idiot," Rude was sure to say. "She's too dumb to understand that we were talking to her."

"She was under pressure the entire night! I told you not to sing your preposterous songs! I knew something like this would happen," Knowledge argued.

"And you would know!" Rude snapped.

"I told all of you quit your senseless jabber to her! And that lullaby was ridiculous, Happy! I knew better of you!"

"I thought it'd help her sleep. And it went fine until everyone else discreetly joined the conversation!" Happy gave the accused uncharacteristic glares. "But I'm okay with suicide! Totally okay!" she added happily.

Rude gave her a disgusted look.

"Well, I'm not! I still expected kindergarten servants and world domination!" Rage exclaimed.

"And I wanted whoopee cushions! But I don't think I'll find any of them in he—"

"No swearing! This is a kids' show, remember?" Brave admonished. She was busy drawing another 'FREEDOM OR HOMICIDE' poster.

"Humph." Rude looked defeated.

"In any case, we will not be receiving anything if she slays herself. We should decide on a course of action," Knowledge said.

"Let's try talking again!" Happy suggested.

"Didn't that kind of not work?" Rude asked.

"...but we can try!"

Rude yawned. "I'm not going to. You do it. I think everyone here owes me a nap."

Brave snorted, but didn't comment.

"Fools remain fools if blindness is their path," Wisdom said vaguely.

"Sure they do."

"It is the open-minded that shall prevail."

"Riiight. So what's this I hear about naps? I think it's a good idea for you, Wisdom."

Wisdom didn't look upset by the sarcasm. She glided to a spot and gracefully set herself down, picking up a Shakespearean book for entertainment.

"So... any ideas on what we're gonna do?" Happy asked Affection and Timid, the only emotions who had yet to voice their opinions.

"I foresee a happy ending," Affection said dreamily.

Happy blinked.

"How can you foresee a happy ending? We're not psychic..."

Affection shrugged.

"Wait... are we psychic?" Happy clasped her hands together, "Wowzers! We are, aren't we?"

Affection gave her a blank look, "Um... no, we're not."

Happy looked disappointed, "Oh."

She was about to say something else when Timid said shakily, "Um... everyone? R-Raven's in the kitchen... and sh-she's opening the cutlery drawer."

Raven drew a deep breath. 'It's now or never' she thought. She gripped the long knife and held it a foot from her heart.

Then she wavered on her decision. 'Maybe this is just a little ridiculous... what if this voice isn't a demon that wants to take over the world?'

As she considered this, another part of her thought, 'Then what is it?'

'It's dangerous enough to destroy my friends, through me. I can't allow that.' With somewhat of finality, she drew another deep breath, making a dramatic effect of what she hoped would be a swift death.

"Good-bye world," She whispered, "Not that you actually liked me in the first place."

Then she brought the blade crashing down.

It was the longest second of her life. The knife fell slowly, pale grey hands gripping the wooden handle until knuckles shone in the moonlight. Her face terrified of her decision; her mind shrieking at her to turn back, but it was too late to turn back. Too late to do anything but wait for the momentary pain... and then death.

It was so close to the end. So close to the cold waters of the beyond. So close... but—

"Raven!"

—Not close enough.

Her hand stopped; the blade an inch from her heart.

"Dude, Raven! What are you doing!" Beast Boy's voice exclaimed from the entryway.

Raven examined her position. Was it just a little odd that she was kneeling on the tile floor, at two in the morning, about to commit suicide?

"Nothing. I-I'm just—"

"You're practicing Romeo and Juliet too? Awesome! I can totally help you! Wasn't it like 'Romeo, Romeo, where're you dude, Romeo?'?"

"Um..." Raven decided not to comment.

"So, you're playing Juliet, right?" He leaned his face close to hers and said, "I'm totally awesome at playing Romeo! Just not the kissing scene," he twisted his face in disgust. "That part's so... ew."

Raven briefly raised her eyebrows. She would have thought that Beast Boy would give any chance to be able to kiss a girl. Or was he referring to the fact that he could kiss any other girl but her?

"Wanna do the balcony scene first?" Beast Boy asked eagerly.

"Uh... no, Beast Boy—"

"Then you wanna go straight to the ending? I know that part too!"

"No, I'm not—"

"The funeral? I can act dead! See, watch!"

"No, Beast Boy! I'm not—"

She didn't get to finish her sentence: In his display of acting dead, Beast Boy staggered precariously and fell with a slowness that caused him to miss the planned destination. He fell on Raven instead of the floor.

He barely missed the knife Raven still clutched in her hand, but the object was forgotten. In his fall, Beast Boy placed both of them in an awkward position. Their faces were nearly touching, only an inch of space between both of them. Beast Boy couldn't help the thought that crept into his mind, 'Déjà vu, much?' remembering his dream.

They gazed at each other. Something faintly pulled between them and they drew closer.

Raven slightly leaned up on her elbows, a confused expression furrowing her eyebrows. Then, as Beast Boy's hair lightly brushed her brow...

"Beast Boy! Get off of me!" She exclaimed.

"Oops... sorry. Accidents happen, huh?" He stood up, helping her up as well.

She gave him a general glare and picked up the suicide knife, thankful that her friend wasn't killed by the object that might have been her end.

She was about to put the blade away, but Beast Boy gasped, "Dude, that's the knife I cut myself with today! Well, uh... yesterday I mean. What a coincidence!"

Raven was surprised he knew what 'coincidence' even meant, but said nothing about it.

"Yeah... 'what a coincidence'. And, I was meaning to ask: what are you doing up at--," she glanced at the digital clock on the microwave, "--two-thirty in the morning?"

Beast Boy laughed nervously, "Funny that you'd mention that... I had this really creepy dream. And it creeped me out, so I thought I'd play videogames and beat Cy's score and then try going back to sleep!"

Raven looked at him suspiciously.

"What kind of dreams?"

Beast Boy looked slightly uncomfortable, "Uh... ones with people killing themselves... and talking like that dead guy who wrote Romeo and Juliet..."

"Oh," Raven said disappointedly. So much for Beast Boy being haunted by the inner voices too.

"But you were in the dream!" Beast Boy said. "And you were really old too. And like, this tall!" He emphasized her height by waving his hand in the air.

"Great..." Raven said sardonically.

"And I was there—"

"Friends!" An ecstatic voice interrupted. "You are here as well!"

Beast Boy and Raven whirled around and speechlessly watched as Starfire descended into the kitchen.

She held out a strange blue polka-dotted contraption and exclaimed, "You celebrate the Kazorfka also? It is wonderful to know that you enjoy the Tamaranian night dances and worships!"

They stared at her dumbfounded for a moment, then Raven said, "Um... actually, we're done with the Karzorka celebration, Starfire. We were heading back up just as you came in. Right, Beast Boy?"

"No, we wer—"

Raven gave him a glare that made him wince, "I mean, yeah! We're totally finished with the Karmork thing! And it—uh, was awesome worshipping the um... uh—Tarka! Your fire god! So, see ya!"

They hurried out of the kitchen before she could inquire about anything else.

"We do not worship fire gods..." Starfire said skeptically.

Raven was furious.

By now, she had a clear idea of everything that had been happening that night. She was surprised and angered that it took her long enough to figure it out though, but like yesterday, she needed answers. Scratch that... she demanded answers.

The first sound that reached her in Nevermore was unexpectedly expected.

"Ravie!" someone whined obnoxiously, "don't die on us, honey! We're here to save you!"

Raven didn't raise an inquiring eyebrow; she didn't bat away Brave's 'FREEDOM OR EXTERMINATION' poster; and lastly, she didn't snap at Knowledge for propping up her glasses and reciting her newest This I Know speech— she got straight to the point.

"What in the name of Azar do you think you were doing?" she exclaimed, "Do you even realize what you almost made me do? Can any of you even fathom what could have happened if Beast Boy hadn't come into the kitchen? Obviously, you didn't! Let me spell it out for you then! I could have committed suicide! Died! Deceased! Perished! Passed—"

But by then she stopped her ranting. It was obvious she lost them somewhere in the middle of it all: they were staring into space distractedly.

"You said—" Happy started.

"Beast Boy..." they chorused dreamily.

Raven blinked at them. What did Beast Boy have anything to do any of this?

She tried again, "The point being: quit creeping me out with chanting voices, stop singing, stomping in my mind, and do me the courtesy of explaining why you drove me insane and made me almost commit suicide!"

Rude snapped out of it first, "We're striking! For Freedom! And unless you plan on giving us some Freedom any time soon... I'm bringin' out the heavy artillery, sistah!"

She took out a moss-covered popsicle.

Raven gave her a flat look and muttered, "Ew..."

"Yeah, Rae. Give us Freedom! That's all we're asking for!" Brave volunteered.

"Just a teensy weensy meensy eensy weetle bit!" Happy squeaked.

"Pwease, Rawie!" Brave shoved Timid in Raven's face. Timid put on her saddest, cutest, most astounding puppy-dog face.

It didn't work.

Brave tried Rage next. The angry, red emotion exploded:

"You promised me paradise!" Rage shouted as she shook and strangled an adamant Raven, "I wanted world domination and you neglected me! You didn't keep your promise to me! How could you, Raven? How could you?"

Raven didn't respond.

"We wanted Freedom, Rae! And you abandoned us like sacks of unwanted clay!" Brave said dramatically.

Raven said nothing.

Her emotions took this as a sign of surrender, "We'll be good sentiments next time, Ravie! Give us Freedom—"

"—or die an untimely death!"

"We stand for liberty, Raven! Take that away and we shall retaliate! I know of all your weaknesses, Raven. You cannot deny us—"

"Shut up!" Raven shouted; her expression was livid, her voice hysterical.

Her emotions obliged, more out of fear than obedience.

"Fine! I give—have your Freedom! Get your whoopee cushions and Websters and world domination! Just, leave... me... alone! All I ever wanted was sleep! That's it! That's all I ever wanted in the first place!"

Her hood flew up to hide her enraged face. Her emotions huddled together, unsure of what to do. One brave emotion stepped from the group though. She peeked under Raven's hood and whispered, "Raven...?"

The girl didn't respond for a moment. Then, she straightened up, looked down at Brave, and turned.

Before stepping out of Nevermore, she looked back icily and in a deathly-quiet tone, said, "You want Freedom?"

Her cloak billowed open, and Raven stepped over the Nevermore threshold.

"You've got it."

Beast Boy lazily stretched that morning. His hand brushed on Mr. Cuddles for a moment, but he ignored it. Momentarily, he was happy. It was another good day for him. And, as he looked at the digital clock in a clothes heap on the floor, he was glad to note that it was only eleven in the morning.

He stood up, yawned, and went down for breakfast.

"Good morning Titans Tower!" He greeted the main room generally.

There was no reply.

"That's weird... there's usually someone here by now..." Beast Boy pondered to himself.

But optimism ruled out any worries, "Great! No tofu fights with Cy today!" He set himself to the task of making a breakfast of 'soybeany goodness'.

The sound of a turned page attracted his attention though. Beast Boy turned to see Raven reading on the main room couch. Then he noticed the teapot on the stove.

"Oh, hey Rae! Hah! Get it? Hey, Rae? See, it rhymes!" He laughed at his own pathetic joke.

She didn't respond.

"Okay... well, good morning to you too!" Beast Boy went back to his tofu, taking Raven's silence as an everyday custom.

"So, you want something, Rae? I'm making a yummy tofu breakfast! You know you can't resist it!"

Raven stood up, placed her book down, and expressionlessly made her way to the kitchen.

Beast Boy tensed in case she was going to do something drastic to him for calling her 'Rae' at least three times. But he was left befuddled when she made herself a cup of tea and went back to her reading.

Even then, the idea that something was wrong didn't dawn on him. He kept cooking his tofu.

"Suit yourself, Ravie. You know you'll regret it."

This time, he was sure she was going to blow up. Beast Boy turned to see her get up again. She picked up a chair and dragged it to the windows. His eyebrows drew together in confusion when she placed her tea down and put the book in her lap as she sat down.

"Okay... well, you enjoy the view then," he said, "I'll reveal you my great tofu-cooking skills if you wanna see!"

Raven didn't reply.

Beast Boy finished cooking his meal and joined Raven by the windows, placing his food in his lap and starting with the mush-like cereal first. But something from the view caught his attention.

"Dude, Raven, did you just see that?" Beast Boy stared at a great fish that had jumped and done a flip in the water surrounding the Tower.

"I bet I can do that so much better! D'you think it was a whale? It had these jiggly fins and blew water from its back." He dropped his toast and imitated the creature, waving his arms like a jellyfish.

"Maybe it was one of those sharks you see on TV! It looked so cool! Did you see it, Rae? It was awesome."

Raven stared at the window blankly.

"Maybe it was an anaconda! One of those wiggly snakes from the Amazon... Dude! If we like, caught it, we'd make a fortune! And then they can all name me the... Anaconda Boy!"

Raven's book slid out of her lap.

Beast Boy bent to pick it up, "Here Rae, I think you dropped this. So anyway, maybe I'd be all famous and"—stars shone in his eyes—"they'd call me duuude."

He placed the book back in her lap, and then he noticed something. Despite the fact that Raven's silence was natural to him by now, and her creepiness sometimes extended to her ignoring and not commenting on anything he said, he believed there was one thing Raven would never do. And at that moment, he caught her doing that very thing.

Raven never drooled.

"Uh... Raven?" Beast Boy waved his hand in front of her face, but got no response.

Cyborg then made his entrance from the garage where his T-car was newly polished, "Yo BB! Isn't this kind of early for you? Don't you get up at two?"

"Yeah, sometimes. But dude, check it out! Raven's like... blank today."

Cyborg wasn't sure how to respond, "Uh... isn't she usually blank?"

"Yeah, but she's not even talking!"

"…Isn't she usually not talking?"

"Yeah, but... she's not even reading! Or drinking tea!"

Cyborg was shocked, "Woah, now, that is serious."

"And she didn't laugh at any of my jokes today!"

Cyborg gave a hoot of laughter.

"Man, she never laughs at your jokes!"

Beast Boy frowned, "Sometimes she does..."

"Yeah, riiiiight."

"What is it that you discuss, friends?" Starfire asked as she and Robin walked into the main room.

"Where've you two lovebirds been?" Cyborg asked shiftily.

"'Lovebirds'? I do believe that is a type of parrot, Cyborg. I do not see any birds," Starfire answered.

Robin didn't notice Cyborg's implication, but he was flushed for an entirely different reason.

"Cyborg! Round up the Titans! After days and weeks of frantic searching, I may have found a clue on..." he whispered the next word, "Slade."

"What? Man, I thought you gave up on him months ago."

"Gave up? How can you give up on..." he whispered the next word again, "Slade?"

Cyborg's eyebrows rose upwards, "Oh-kay... guess you haven't. But y'know, Robin, maybe it's time to let go? You know, move on..."

Robin looked shocked. "Let go? Move on? He's an apprentice-seeking psychopath on the loose! You can't just ignore the situation when it involves," he whispered the next word, "Slade..."

"Uh-huh... well then, why don't you go find more on—" he lowered his voice and whispered, "Slade...?"

"Good idea, Cyborg! I'm glad you're seeing things my way." Robin turned back down the hallway and left a befuddled Starfire in the living room.

"I greatly fear for Robin in his hard trials," she told Cyborg quietly, "It seems that his mind is most preoccupied with pursuing thoughts of Slade..."

"Don't worry, Star. Someday, he'll accept that Slade's gone for good and move on. Until then... just pray."

"I shall follow your advice and do the praying."

"Uh... you know, that's not really what I—"

"Dudes!" Beast Boy interrupted from the windows, "Help!"

"What is wrong, Beast Boy?" Starfire asked as she floated towards her other friends.

"It just happened... in like, a second... it's so... horrible!" He wailed.

"What is horrible? Please inform us!"

Beast Boy gulped a shaky breath, "The tofu..." He helplessly gestured at the food he had accidentally dropped on the floor.

Cyborg gave him a flat look. "That's it? You dropped yucky tofu on the ground? We thought you were being murdered here or something."

Starfire was about to say something comforting to Beast Boy, but then she noticed the drooling Raven.

"Friends... why does Raven salivate as she stares into the distance of the horizon?"

"Uh... yeah. Why does she?" Cyborg wondered.

Beast Boy momentarily forgot his dying tofu. "Raven? She's fine. Been like that since eleven. I think she's medituting."

"Are not her eyes closed when she does the meditating?" Starfire asked.

"Yeah, well... Raven's special... she can do it with her eyes open."

"Does she not usually repeat three words as well?"

"Sometimes..."

"There may be something wrong with our dear friend! We should call the man of medicine!"

"You mean the doctor, Star?" Cyborg cut in.

"Yes, the doctor of healing!"

"Uh... maybe Raven just wants to be alone?" Cyborg suggested.

A look of understanding crossed Starfire's face. But before she could reply, Robin shouted from the next room, "Star, come quick! I think I found something on..." he lowered his voice, "Slade! Bring the Jump City map! I think he's hiding in a candy stand..."

Starfire obeyed, picking up a folded map as she floated to the computer room, and said, "I shall return soon!" over her shoulder.

Cyborg shook his head sadly at Robin's obsession and turned back to Beast Boy.

"So... wanna play videogames or something?"

Beast Boy looked back at the silent and blank Raven, "Yeah, okay."

"Which one?" Cyborg held up a few games as he shuffled through an appropriately named box ('The Coolest Brain-Cell-Destroying Things in the World').

"Mega Monkey!" Beast Boy shouted as he jumped over the couch and picked up a game controller.

"You play that every single day. Don't you wanna play something new?"

Beast Boy thought hard for a second, "Uh... no."

Cyborg snorted, but gave in.

Just as the game started loading and the two boys comfortably arranged themselves on the couch, a sound echoed through the Tower.

Ding Dong.

"You wanna get that, Rae?" Beast Boy shouted as the game started.

No reply.

"Come on, Ravie! We're really busy here! Please?"

No reply.

Ding Dong.

Cyborg volunteered instead, "Pause the game, will ya, BB? It's probably just fan mail."

Beast Boy complied and watched as Cyborg walked into the hall. He heard heavy footsteps cross to the front door. Cyborg returned almost instantly.

"Booya! Check it out!" He shouted ecstatically, "It's the new car parts! My baby's gonna love this!"

He picked up the weighty cardboard box and sprinted out of the room, forgetting Beast Boy completely, only aware that he could now make repairs on his beautiful T-car.

Beast Boy stared after his friend, his game controller limp in his hand, and said, "I didn't know Cy had a baby..."

Cyborg arrived in his garage in mere moments. He put the box beside his lovely car and, too delighted to wait any longer, ripped it open.

He murmured a Christmas song as he dug through the packaging foam and bubble wrap. His hands met something solid.

"Jingle Bells, Robin smells,

Raven laid an egg..."

Gingerly, he brought out the solid item—another miniature box—and dug for more car parts.

"Beast Boy keeled, fell through a wheel

And Stafire flew away."

He brought out two more minute boxes, laying each beside the other near the car.

"Jingle Bells, Robin smells,

Raven laid an egg..."

Cyborg pulled out the rest of the car parts, a sum of five, and began opening the first, careful with the surplus of bubble wrap.

"Beast Boy keeled, fell through a wheel

And Stafire flew away..."

He pulled off the wrapping, was about to hoot in joy when he saw a speck of metal-grey, but immediately dropped the item, and screamed.

Beast Boy was bored. Again.

Cyborg still hadn't returned from his 'beautiful baby' and one-player on Mega Monkey got dull quickly. Robin and Starfire were still looking up Slade's possible 'next course of action', although most of the Titans considered him gone by now. So, the only thing Beast Boy had left to do was...

"Hiya Raven! How's medituting going?" Beast Boy asked enthusiastically as he waved a hand in Raven's blank face...

"Sweet, so wanna do something?"

"Maybe we can... play videogames!"

"No? Then we can... go to the beach and learn how to swim?"

"Hmm... we can... make a huge dinner and get to know each other better!"

"Raven?... is there something wrong?"

"Are you ignoring me?"

"...Is it a girl thing?"

Then, a small light shone in Beast Boy's face. He finally understood what was wrong with Raven. He was sure this was it. Nothing except for this could have made Raven act the way she did now. It had to be this.

"Rae? Is it..." he lowered his voice dramatically, "...you know...?"

Silence.

"You know...? T-The thing... girl thing... You know? That thing?"

Silence.

Beast Boy flailed his arms around frantically, "The thing! Y-you know... the once-in-a-month thing!"

Raven's face remained blank. A small line of saliva was trickling down her chin.

Beast Boy was growing desperate.

"C'mon Rae-Rae! It starts with a P! Uh... five... SIX letters!" Beast Boy counted his fingers.

Silence.

"You know what it is by now, right?"

Silence.

"That's it, isn't it? You need more of those... other t-things?...Of course you do!"

Silence.

"Well then... never fear! Beast Boy's here!" He shouted heroically.

"I'll get you exactly what you need!"

Quickly, he dashed into his room to arm himself against the evils of... the isle. He brought the essentials: doomsday devices, spying equipment, Robin's bird-a-rangs, and a gas mask. On his way out, he picked up a camouflage suit.

"Don't die on me, Raven! I'll be right back!"

He put on his backpack of equipment and went out into the world.

Cyborg was in shock and dismay. He couldn't believe what he was seeing.

"Chiiickuu!" the fuzzy little animal squeaked. It jumped up on the cardboard box and began to do something Cyborg could only identify as a dance. Four other fuzzy animals mimicked it and jumped on the box as well.

"Chicku! Chiiicku! Chickucku!" They chorused in their song.

Cyborg shook his head in disbelief: these were his car parts dancing. He opened his mouth to say something, and then clamped it shut like a fish.

"Chicku?" one of the metal-shielded animals asked as it jumped in front of the stunned Cyborg. Immediately, he flinched, finding his voice.

"Stay away from me, you furry freaks!" he shouted at the charming creatures.

"Chiiiiicku!" the animal screeched, offended by Cyborg's speech when it was only attempting a greeting. It leaped back on the box and was comforted by its four other friends.

"Yeah, you better run!" Cyborg spotted a thick burlap sack on the garage floor. Swiftly, he picked it up and attempted to capture the grey-furred creatures.

"Chi—eek!" They dispersed from the box, each landing incredible yards away. Their steel shields protruded spikes, a painful defense they were sure would work.

"So you guys like to play rough, huh? Well so does Cy!" He picked up a stick.

A bit more barbarian-like than he would like to admit, Cyborg leapt towards the nearest animal, bringing the branch crashing on the cardboard box. He missed the creature.

"Chicku!" The animal shrieked as it soared another five yards into the air.

The rest of the small pack snickered from around the garage. Cyborg dived for the next wide-eyed creature.

As before, he missed.

"Cowards! You ugly guinea pigs! Get over here and fight!" He leaped towards another animal, the smallest of its pack.

"I've gotcha now!" Cyborg advanced towards the little creature with a glowering look on his face. Just as he raised his combat device, a squeak attracted his attention.

"Chickuk!"

Cyborg turned to see the first creature he had challenged perched on his T-car.

"Hey! Get your furry butt off my car!" He lost his nerve as he lunged for the animal. All he knew was that a revolting thing with a spiked back had just jumped and seated itself on his most prized possession.

But just as he prepared his sonic cannon and was about to blast the thing, the animal leaped.

Cyborg stopped three feet from his car, and watched as the thing landed on the smashed cardboard. He lunged back for it.

This time, it took moments to catch the animal. Maybe it wanted to be captured, he considered, as he brought it back to the burlap sack. But as he prepared to thrust the squirming creature into the thick sack, he noticed something.

Taking advantage of Cyborg's preoccupation with the other animal, the smallest one had jumped into Cyborg's car. Not quite learned in the ways of driving, the animal, however, noticed the shiny, jingly keys in the ignition. It turned the sparkly keys.

Cyborg couldn't even get the scream out before the creature did another minor change to the running car. It changed the gear from Parked to Reverse, and said its first English word.

"Oopsie?"

As the fourth hour of Slade-searching came to a chiming close, Starfire audibly sighed.

"Robin? Perhaps we should attempt another search tomorrow? It grows late."

Robin didn't turn his head to acknowledge her statement, but he replied nonetheless, "Just a few more hours, Star. I know I've got something here!" His masked eyes scanned the computer print-outs.

"See? Look right here. Do you see this S-shaped object? I just know it's got something to do with him!" Robin pointed at an assortment of advertised straws that sold at Shop Smart for $3.99.

Starfire wasn't sure if she should comment.

"And look at this! Look at the hollow, orange eyes of this stuffed snake! They obviously belong to..." he lowered his voice, "Slade..."

"Robin, I do not wish to disappoint you, but perhaps we should... let go? Would it not be better if we moved on?"

Robin scowled at Starfire, "Star, he's dangerous! Don't you remember what happened back then? I know he didn't die that day in the cave! He's alive, Star! And I'm going to be the one who catches him. I'll be the one to catch..." a maniac glint shone in his eyes as he whispered the next word, "Slade..."

Starfire didn't press him any further.

"Very well, Robin."

Robin nodded to himself as he picked up another magazine—National Geographic—and flipped to the first page. His breath caught in his throat.

"Star..." he began shakily, "This-this is it... This is where he's been hiding! Do you see this temple! It's him! He built it! He's hiding in it! Starfire, we found him!" He leaped up, sending hundreds of printed papers to the floor. Swiftly, he ripped the page of an ancient Mayan structure from the magazine and turned to Starfire.

"We have to go after him! Before he can get away again! We have to capture him this time! We must find..." he lowered his voice, "Slade..."

Starfire sighed, but followed her teammate as he walked to the main room.

"Titans! I've got his location! Move out!" Robin shouted in his commanding voice once they reached the wide room.

Silence.

They both scanned the living room, finding no apparent sign of life.

"What has happened to our friends?" Starfire inquired.

Robin's eyes lit up, "It's him! He captured the Titans! He's going to make orange apprentices out of all of them! And then he'll... hide them in a tomb of the Mayan pyramids forever!"

Starfire was about to sigh again, but immediately noticed the silent Raven, immobile by the windows since breakfast.

"Raven?" she asked as she flew down beside her friend, shortly joined by Robin, "Why have you not moved since the morning?"

No reply.

"Surely it is the time of dinner now, no?" Starfire continued.

No reply.

Robin checked his magazine cut-out impatiently.

"Star, we need to find him!" he said urgently, "This can't wait! You know how much Raven has to meditate every day. She's fine."

Starfire looked at Robin briefly, astounded that he sounded normal for a change.

It didn't last.

"But not him... he won't be fine by the time I'm through with him! I'll capture him, Star! I'll capture..." Robin lowered his voice, "Slade...!"

He then took out his communicator and said, "Come in, Beast Boy! We've got his location. It's likely we'll need back-up!"

On the other end, Beast Boy looked sheepish on an isle floor, in the middle of a gooey substance and many marshmallows, "Hey, Robin! Uh... can you hold on for a second? I'm sort of in the middle of— eep!"

His voice was cut off when the great substance engulfed him.

"Eek! Attack of the giant jelly marshmallow! I mean—uh... can you hold on for another second?"

Robin looked at his communicator confusedly.

"So... uh, you were saying?" Beast Boy asked once he finished stuffing the substance in the store garbage can.

"Um... Slade?"

"Right. I'll be there in a couple of—gack! Not again!" Beast Boy returned to his combat with the stubborn substance.

Robin clicked the communicator shut.

"No time to waste, Star! We have to go after him!"

"Very well, Robin..." she said as they both left the Tower on another unfruitful mission to catch Slade.

"...very well."

Beast Boy left Shop Smart three hours after he entered it.

It should have only taken him ten minutes to get Raven's things. But of course, a series of ill-fated events occurred to him as soon as he stepped over the goofy entryway.

First, it was the monster vacuum cleaner—"Um, hi? Is this the Shop Smart Security? Uh, I sort of have a problem with some of the stuff on sale... Yeah, can you get down here? Your Home Cleaning isle's... rebelling."

And then it was the evil china dolls he strolled by—"Dude, help! These dolls are like, evil! Can someone—ouch! Hey, let go of my hair! Let go—wait, no! Not the uniform! Give it back!"

And then the yellow school supplies, the squirt guns, the big flat TV, the great book of dinosaurs and by then he'd lost count.

Just as he was entering the isle, he passed by the Cooking section, and was of course, misfortunate enough to be bombarded by the marshmallows and 'the substance'.

Eventually, he'd gotten the things, and by then, he didn't even care that he was a boy brave enough to enter the dreaded isle. He paid his $5.99 for the package and left.

Of course, that didn't end his problems.

On his way back, he was delayed by incoming birds, pebble-throwing five-year-olds that can't understand the concept of a green animal, and a sudden gust of wind that Beast Boy could easily identify as a tornado.

Finally, he managed to get back to the Tower. He walked three steps on the rocky shore before he realized it. And then he groaned uncharacteristically.

He was holding an empty Shop Smart sack.

The T-car was quickly moving in reverse, and a gaping Cyborg was almost too stunned to stop it.

"Chicku?" One of the fuzzy animals asked politely. A congregation gathered to watch the car.

Cyborg didn't answer; he dashed towards the moving vehicle, running with all his might.

The car rolled out of the garage—which was 'luckily' a slope—and bumped through the rocky gravel towards the waiting shore. The creature at the wheel was afraid and excited at the same time, squeaking "Oopsie! Oopsie! Oopsie!" at each bump in the gravel.

Cyborg leaped past the rocks on the shore with swift agility, with only one desperate thought in his mind to drive him to his limits.

The T-car reversed speedily, and was ten yards from the shore. The creature lolled its tongue out.

Eight yards.

Cyborg jumped past a boulder and leaped through the Titans' training area.

Six yards.

The fuzzy congregation held its breath.

Four yards.

The creature in the car leapt into the air, swiftly landing in a brush pile.

Two yards.

Cyborg threw himself his remaining few feet to catch the car.

Splash.

The car lodged deeply into the waters around the T-shaped Tower. It stopped when it was a few yards in. And then, as Cyborg looked up from the shore he had landed on, the small animal that had leapt from the car said, "Uh-oh..."

Boom!

"Good day, Starfire! Would you like more mustard on your bread?" Raven asked happily.

"Why yes, Raven! I believe I would," Starfire returned a large smile as she mustarded her toast at the two-foot dollhouse table.

Raven brought out a mustard bottle two feet wide and high, and placed it in front of Starfire.

"Enjoy, honey!"

Starfire beamed.

Raven took her own toast to mustard it and took a sip of her mustard tea.

"Oh dear..." she said when she dropped some mustard on her Tie-Dyed shirt.

"It is no problem, Raven! Please, have this nap of kin to clean!" Starfire handed Raven a bright orange napkin with a bottle of mustard as its insignia.

"You are too kind."

Starfire smiled.

She enjoyed a moment of silence with her mustard party guest and then...

Snorkel Snork!

"I shall attend to the door!" Starfire announced ecstatically as she jumped out of her miniature dolly seat and opened the door to the tree house.

"Dude! I totally love what you've done with the doorbell!" Beast Boy exclaimed as he stepped over the 'Mustard Welcome' mat, with Cyborg close behind.

No one commented on the mustard-decorated tree house.

"Shall I fetch some gnorza? It is a celebratory drink on my planet intended for guests," Starfire said as she set up five more chairs around the small polka-dotted table. "Please, sit."

The newcomers obeyed, while Starfire left to retrieve the celebratory drinks.

Beast Boy scooted closer to Cyborg. "So, Cy..." he said mischievously, "I've been thinking about what you said last night... and I sort of came up with this brilliant idea..."

Starfire returned with the gnorzas and passed them out to each guest.

"And this great idea... is well... you know..."

Cyborg looked down at Beast Boy through a mouthful of mustarded snow cones, "Yeah?"

"Um, well..."

Starfire listened in to the conversation, eager to find out what Beast Boy's great idea was.

"It's kind of early to bring it up, but..."

Cyborg took a great swig of the gnorza.

"Yeah, BB?"

Beast Boy dropped to one knee and rushed the question in one breath, "Willyoumarryme!"

Cyborg's face was blank for a moment and then, "Sure, little man! Why not?"

"Sweet!" Beast Boy exclaimed and brought out a metal hexagonal ring.

Starfire watched the conversation with excitement, "Friends, what is this marriage? I have heard of it on the box of vision you call TVs..."

"It's a bond, Star," Raven said politely from her blue-striped seat, "When two people that love each other bond like that, it's called a marriage."

"A bond...?"

"Yeah, a bond," said the familiar voice of Robin, who had inconspicuously appeared. He was wearing a Tie-Dyed shirt and a monocle.

Starfire's eyes shone with stars, "Robin... would you like to perform this ritual of bonding as well? I am sure it is a friendly thing, no?"

Robin replied evenly, "Sure."

Starfire squealed happily and exclaimed, "Then let us join a bonding dance! We shall honor the Goddess of Mustard for the bonding of marriage!"

The happy congregation sang in a circled dance.

"Yo ho! Yo ho! A pirate's life for me!

We pillage, we plunder we rifle and loot
Drink up me hearties, yo ho!
We kidnap and ravage and don't give a hoot
Drink up me hearties, yo ho!"

A rain of mustard began falling on the flowered field they danced upon. As each bonded friend jumped and leapt and danced and happily swept through the field, an orange petal from each flower blissfully circled their ritual.

"Yo Ho! Yo Ho! a pirate's life for me!
We extort, we pilfer we filch and sack
Drink up me hearties, yo ho!
Maraud and embezzle and even high-jack
Drink up me hearties yo ho!"

As each line was sung, the voices grew distant and blurry, blending together like the mustard rain, until Starfire heard Beast Boy say one last far-away thing to Cyborg, "So about that baby due in May..."

"Yo Ho, Yo Ho, a pirate's life for me...

Yo Ho, Yo Ho, a pirate's life for me..."

Starfire was swiftly circling away from her bonded friends, blissfully returning. Swift summer lightning lit up the sky... She distantly heard the happy drum of thunder... A yellow mustard bottle flew to her from the distance... and then—

Starfire woke up beaming.

a/n:

Okay, well... by now you've figured it out right? You're seeing the interesting pattern, ne? Hopefully, you are. Review on all the clichés we've used in this chappie, mention what the pattern is and you'll get... another cybernetic cookie! You can never have enough of those!

Also, if you want to know about the progress we're making on each chappie or a rough date we'll be posting next, you can go to our home page (Individually Packaged) and check the updates. Aia (the non-slacker -glares at Cid-) is always kind enough to take a moment of her time to keep you guys posted.

So, until next time!

Aia (Cid's having problems with her Internet connection at the moment... -cackles evilly-)

We hereby declare that we do not take ownership of the songs we've used for this chappie: "Pirate's Life for Me" and "Jingle Bells" or... the TT version of it anyways.

There's one line in the TT version that we altered though... let's just say that Cyborg would never sing about his precious T-car losing a wheel. XD