My heart sped up but time seemed to bleed away until there was nothing left but me and him, trapped in our own world. A world in which he ruled. I knew I wanted to live forever but I didn't want my life to end like this at the hands of a sadistic monster, even if it did mean Edward and I could be together.
How ironic it was that I should die there freer than I'd ever been before but yet chained and trapped by my own doing. It all became clear to me, even if the transformation was a success he would keep me more trapped by my immortality than I had been by my humanity.
I didn't even know what it would mean to become a vampire was it like falling into a deep sleep and waking up with a still heart and your soul missing or was it a painful process certainly there was always something more in a vampires eyes than what the mortal world had to offer, even in eyes like his-older than time?
He pushed me up against a wall of a crumbling building, the rough red bricks pressed against my back, proving the reality of the situation. Sometimes pain revived me, when I felt so sure it wasn't real that if I cut the lily white skin on my wrists it would fail to bleed. That I needed pain to prove t myself my own existence.
He was enjoying it then, when he felt my fear it was like a game to him. But for me it was life or death. His lips pulled back into a guttural snarl that chilled me to my core. But there was nothing I could do, he was invincible and I was weak and fragile, human as I was. He knew this of course and took great delight in towering above looking down his slender chalky nose -that could probably smell my fear- at me.
They say sometimes that you don't know what you have until you've lost it but in that moment when I was trying my hardest just to exist I was more conscious of my beig than I ever had been before. I could feel my bone and blood and sinews and almost hear every one of the millions of cells in my body that pulsed with life. Life that the prince was claiming as his own.
As he danced forward to kill me I regretted so many of my decisions in life, the decisions that had led me to that place. When the pain is great enough we ill let anyone be the doctor, in my case I had been so blinded by the pain and agonising love that filled my chest I had led myself into his trap.
His lips were close to my throats I could feel his cold breath on my skin and was suddenly aware of how vulnerable I was. Hot tears rolled down my cheeks yet more evidence of my weaknesses. Showing fear ad pain had always seemed like weakness to me I strived to hide all emotions that in away made me a zombie.
Just as all hope in my mind was dying out the Prince's head snapped round. He snarled, a low rumbling vibrating deep from within his chest, aimed at a foe or threat I could not yet see. And though the anger and hatred in his eyes I thought I saw a flash of fear and understanding flickered across his frozen face.
The he laughed with almost childlike delight, a laugh that sounded almost like sobbing but that reminded me of Jacob and the way he used to laugh at his own mistakes it was painful.
What had I done in my life to be proud of? I had killed my best friend who gave me everything, who had loved me with all his heart. And how ha I replayed him by bringing myself to my own ends. Edward approached pain visible across his face.
It hurt me to see my angel so heartbroken, had he realised it was already to late. He walked slowly towards us out of the mist, his cherub bow lips were defiant and seemed unafraid. But the golden pools of his eyes told a different story. There was anger behind those eyes and fear. But there was also a plan.
So quickly I could hardly see him move he was at the prince's throat. Then they whirled away in an almost waltz each one trying to gain advantage over the other. They moved so fast I couldn't see them and my breath came thick and fast as I feared for my love. Then I felt cold hand wrap around me and I was pushed against the wall.
The dancing stopped as the prince held me up, slowly starving me of air…
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