Chapter Seventeen

Nathan had walked for nearly twenty minutes, when he finally came up the pier. He looked left to right, for any sign of Haley. He didn't want to start walking in on direction and her be in the other direction, but he defiantly wasn't getting anywhere just standing there.

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Haley, continues to walk up the pier, looking for Nathan. She figured he should have been here by now. She looked to her left and right, while she continued walking. She knew he would have ran as fast as he could, which meant he should be here, somewhere.

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"Haley, where are you?" Nathan asked.

"The pier," Haley said, dumbfounded by his question.

"No, I know that, I need to know where at the pier you are," Nathan said.

"Are you here?" Haley asked.

"Yeah, but I don't see you," Nathan said.

"I'm near the boating docks," Haley said.

"Alright, I'm only a little way's away, I'll be there in a second," Nathan said, as he hung up the phone.

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Nathan, turned right, and started to casually jog until he came to a corner, which one way lead to the boating docks, and the other would lead him to Haley. He walked a little farther up, when he saw her. Her beauty radiating in the moonlight. He felt new Goosebumps on his skin.

"Hey," he said, from a small distance.

"Hey," she said, as she turned around.

His figure surprising her. His hair was matted down, from the sweat that had been pouring from his head. His sides heaved as he tried to catch his breath. She could see that his eyes were red-rimmed, from crying. This figure of a man, standing in front of her, made her insides cringe. She had done this too him, she had hurt him so badly that he cried. Haley was pulled away from her thoughts, with his deep husky voice, muttering something that sounded like an apology. Why was he apologizing to her, she should apologize to him.

"Hales, did you hear me," Nathan said.

Haley shook her head, and reached her hand out, for him to take.

"Come on, lets sit down," she said, as she turned toward the benches, that were a mere two feet away.

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Nathan sat down on the bench, beside her bench. He didn't want to make her uncomfortable. He looked at his feet, as he searched himself for what he needed to say. He knew what he wanted to say, and he knew that he needed to say something different, something that showed he truly was a different man.

"Haley, I want to start off by saying, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for not telling you sooner, I'm sorry, for hurting you. That was the last thing I wanted to do. Especially after everything you've already been through. I've made some mistakes, a lot of them. I won't deny it, I was a huge screw-up for a while. That is one of the reason's that I'm a model instead of a basketball player. I just want to tell you that, I'm going to tell you everything. Then you can make your decision. I know that Karen told you some stuff already, and I don't want that to weigh in here," Nathan said, as he tried to think back, to that night, once again.

"It was a week before school let out, we were seniors. Me and Brooke decided that we wanted to go to the same schools, that we couldn't be a apart from each other. I waited for her to come home, I had it all planned out. We were going to eat a romantic dinner, and then I was going to ask her to marry me. I thought it was so perfect, but I must not of have thought it out so great. She came home, and was surprised by the candlelit dinner, that sat on the table. She was so happy about it, that she hugged me, told me I was perfect. We sat down, and ate the food, and I got up and opened the bottle of wine, that I had taken from my parent's house. I put the ring in the bottom of her glass, and brought them both to the table," Nathan said, taking another pause.

"I sat down, and sipped at my wine. Brooke went to take a drink when she saw the ring. She pulled it out, and a tear cascaded down her beautiful cheek. I thought it was cause she was so happy. I came out from where I was sitting, and got down on one knee, and told her that as long as I had her in my life then my life was good. I told her that nothing would make me happier than her being my wife. She looked at me, her eyes full of tears, placed the ring in my hand, and stood up. She proceeded to tell me that she was only eighteen, and that she wasn't nowhere ready for marriage. She said that I was only doing it, because I thought it was what she wanted, and that when she did get married that she wanted to be because the man wanted it too, not just so he could make me happy," Nathan said, as he took a long pause, while looking at the ground.

Haley went to say something, but Nathan interrupted her.

"I was divested to say the least. I loved her, and I wanted to marry her, because I loved her. So I went back to the refrigerator, and grabbed the beer that my brother kept in there. I didn't even count how many there was, until I had drunken almost all of them. By the time I had finished them off, I had drunk an entire twenty-four pack of beer. Needless to say I was beyond hammered. I sat there in silence, and even though I was drunk out of my mind, I still felt the pain in my heart. So I got up and downed the rest of the wine. By the time I had finished it, there was a light knock on the front door. Although I couldn't really stand, I did so anyways. I walked to the door, and opened it. Peyton stood in front of me," he said, as he took a breath to gather his thoughts.

"She came in, and said that she was checking up on me. She said that Brooke had told her sort of what happened, and she knew that I would turn to drinking. I stumbled on my way back to the couch, but Peyton grabbed hold of me, and helped me back to the couch. She told me what Brooke had told her, and asked me to fill in the blanks. I told her, that I was certain Brooke had broken up with me. That she seemed kind of pissed about the whole, and then left. I told her that I felt so empty and alone with Brooke there. Then I asked her to help me to my room, so I could go to bed," Nathan said, as he had to prepare himself for the next part.

"We made it back to my room, and I sat down on the bed. I took of my shirt and pants, and was about to crawl into bed. When something came over me, and I grabbed Peyton's hand, and pulled her down to me and kissed her. I kissed her repeatedly, before she finally broke away. She told me we shouldn't be doing this, that it would hurt Brooke. She told me that she couldn't hurt her best friend like that. I told her that Brooke didn't want me, and that she wouldn't find out unless we told her," Nathan said, as he took another pause, this time to swipe at a few tears that had fallen.

"We got into the bed, and under the covers. We were making out heavily, when I heard the front door open. I knew who it was, it was Brooke. My heart immediately began to break all over again. I sat up, enough so she couldn't see who was next to me. I knew me and her were defiantly over, but I figured no use in ruining a ten year friendship. Well she came in and just went completely insane. She started to yell and scream, and by all means she had the right. She walked in farther than I had expected, and saw Peyton. That made it go from bad to worse. She packed her things in a suitcase, and headed for the door," Nathan paused, this time not even bothering with the tears.

"She took off down the street in her car. I jumped in mine to follow her. I got a mile up the road, and that is where my entire life ended. I saw the most horrible wreckage that would be imaginable. Brooke's car had flipped over top another car. The only thing that came from me following her, was I pulled a ten-year-old boy from the wreckage. Although some day's I feel as if it would have been better to leave him be. The boy is still in a coma, then don't think he's going to come out of it. His mother is in a permanent vegetated state. So I basically killed three people that night. Life got real hard after that," Nathan paused, when Haley grabbed his hand.

"Brooke's parents wanted to press charges against me, holding me responsible for the accident. It didn't hold up in court. I couldn't walk around town without people glaring at me. I stopped going to school, even though there was only a week left. I couldn't bare to go there without Brooke. I didn't get signed to any colleges because of it, so I gave up my dream of playing basketball. Soon after high school had ended, I went into the bathroom and grabbed a bottle of my brother's pain pills he had for a knee injury. I took every single one of them. The only reason I survived, was my brother had come home for the weekend, and found me with the bottle in my hand," he paused as he sniffed away the tears.

"I had to undergo psychric evaluation. They wanted to admit me to a psyhric ward, but I told them I wouldn't do it anymore. My mom decided that the best way for me to get over it, and start the healing process was to get as far away from Tree Hill as possible. So I moved to L.A. and about six months after I moved there, my brother joined me. He found out he had a degenerative heart condition called HCM, and couldn't play ball no more. So we moved into an apartment together. A few months after that, I got signed to a modeling gig, and hired my brother to be my agent," Nathan said, as he laid his head in hands.

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"Nathan, that, was just, wow," Haley said, as she wiped a few tears from her eyes.

"I just thought you deserved to know everything. I thought you deserved it because I love you, and I want you to know that I'm not that boy that I was, I never will be him again," Nathan said, but he couldn't find it in him to met her eyes.

"Nathan, want to forget everything you've done, and start over again. I want to, but I can't. You've done what you've done, and there's no taking it back. So I was thinking that maybe, we could try to be friends instead. Maybe after a while, we can work through everything, and maybe be more. Right now, all I can give you is friendship," Haley said, knowing the words would kill him.

"I understand, and I'm just happy that your welling to let me be in your life," Nathan said, still unable to look at her.

Haley place her thumb on the side of his face, and turned up towards her.

"I want to help you threw it, will you let me do that," Haley asked.

"Yeah," Nathan muttered.