A/N: I am seriously happy because I think this is the longest chapter yet. I actually really like this chapter also, for one I like how I end it off. So Thanks for all my latest reviews that were from: TempusSimia, Nelle07, bluebear48, singdance, and steff777.
Than To Ever Live Without You
Chapter Ten
Kaelyn stood in the mirror looking at herself in the dress she was wearing. She had gone shopping to find something to wear to the New Years party and she still couldn't believe she was even going to go. It took a lot of convincing from both Serena and Blair to get her to go. A huge factor was that Damien had been booked on a photography job in California and he was going to visit his family and spend New Years with them while there. Blair of course had helped Kaelyn pick out the extremely sexy dress that didn't cover much at all in Kaelyn's perspective. She pulled at the back of it feeling like it was too short on her. She stood in the stiletto heels and took another look at herself before grabbing her purse off the bed and walking out of the room. Walking down the hall she looked into Katherine's room where her baby stood in her crib while Georgia looked through the shelf for a book.
"Mommy!" Katherine yelled out happily.
"Night baby." Kaelyn said walking into the room and kissing Katherine on the forehead. "Have a goodnight Georgia." Kaelyn said to the nanny.
"You too ma'am." Georgia said giving Kaelyn a wave as Kaelyn walked out of the bedroom.
Pretty much everyone at the party Kaelyn knew. She stood with a glass of champagne alone when she spotted Chuck when he arrived. He saw her immediately and made his way to her giving her a smile. When he made it to her he wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her close.
"You look beautiful tonight." He whispered in her ear.
"Thanks." Kaleyn said nervously.
"How's Kat?" he asked.
"Great when I left Georgia was about to read her a story." Kaelyn responded as she saw the eyes of people in the room on her and Chuck. She knew that most if not all knew about the problems they were having. "I brought you pictures." She said as she moved and pulled the pictures from her purse and handed them to him.
"She loves that car." He said giving a slight laugh at the pictures.
"That's all she does all day now. I can barely pry her away from it." Kaelyn said happily looking at the pictures as well.
She then felt his lips on her neck. "Mmm, I love you." He whispered. He continued to kiss her neck and move his hands on her body. "Let's ditch the party and take this to my room."
"Stop." Kaleyn said moving away from him. "This is exactly why I wasn't going to come here tonight." She growled as she stepped away and starred him down.
"I'm sorry Kay." He said as he moved towards her, but she once again moved away. He shrugged and put his hands in his pocket and they both stayed in the exact places that they stood. "So I was thinking that you, Kat, and I can do something next weekend."
"Can't." Kaelyn said simply as she stood tapping her foot nervously as she always did.
"Why?" he asked as he gave her a very puzzled look.
"Damien made reservations and we are going to Florida. He wants to take Kat to Disney World for the first time." Kaelyn said with a smile happy that at least Damien was seriously thinking about Katherine.
"Really?" Chuck questioned. "Well maybe another weekend. I wanted to make up for Kat's birthday."
"Bet you do." Kaelyn spat. She then looked and spotted Serena and Dan. She waved to them and just walked away leaving Chuck where he stood. "Hey!" Kaelyn said giving them both a hug.
"Happy New Year." Dan said before giving the waiter the bottle of champagne he had brought with them.
"Happy New Year." Kaelyn said happily.
"So how has it been?" Serena asked spotting Chuck who was walking over.
"Alright I guess." Kaleyn responded before Chuck walked to the three of them and looped an arm around Kaelyn's waist pulling her to his body.
"Serena, Dan." He said with a smile and a nod to the two of them
"Hey man, Happy New Year." Dan said.
"You too." Chuck said before giving Kaelyn a kiss on the cheek. Kaelyn was feeling extremely uncomfortable as people passed them with their eyes on them. She bit her lip as they stood. "Looks like you are out of champagne. I will get you another glass." He said to Kaelyn who was now relieved that he walked away.
"I'm going to skip to the restroom quickly." Kaelyn said to Dan and Serena before quickly slipping away and down the hall to only see there was more to the party down the hall. She let out a breath of frustration before she went to turn around. She cursed herself and went to leave when she felt someone tap her shoulder. She turned to be faced with Chuck's dad. "Bart hi." Kaleyn said uncomfortably.
"Kaelyn I was hoping that you would make it." Mr. Bass said to Kaelyn as she stood there still extremely uncomfortable. "I'm glad to see that you and that son of mine are working things out. He jeopardized too much letting you go for his assistant. I was in the hall the day he kicked her out and he had realized he made a big mistake leaving you. Since then he has been sulking around this place. It's good to see him smile tonight. He asked me to give him less responsibilities in the company so he can spend time with you and Katherine and not be too busy anymore that he can't be with his family and I am proud of him for that." In that moment she could tell that he actually was happy for the two of them.
"Working is the key word." Kaelyn said as she then felt an arm on her waist and there was Chuck handing her a glass of champagne.
"For you baby." Chuck said after he handed her the glass and then kissed her cheek.
"Thanks." Kaelyn said simply looking down at the floor trying to avoid eyes all together.
"I was just telling Kaelyn that I am glad the two of you are working things out." Mr. Bass said to Chuck who smiled like a little boy on Christmas day.
"I'm glad too." Chuck said pulling Kaelyn closer to him. The only thing Kaelyn could do in the moment was give a small smile.
"Here I was going to leave you a few of these new pictures of Katherine." Kaelyn said to Mr. Bass as she pulled the pictures from her purse.
"She is sure growing up." Mr. Bass commented as he looked through the pictures. "Thank you I am going to frame a few of these to go in my office."
"Kaelyn!" called a voice and Kaelyn turned to see Blair walking up the hall with her husband not far behind.
"Blair, hi." Kaleyn said before giving her friend a hug.
"Chuck, Mr. Bass a delight." Blair said in her very professional tone. "I just saw Serena a few seconds ago. You can't miss her with that belly of hers."
"Not at all." Kaelyn said with a slight laugh. "Chuck will you excuse me for a moment. Blair I need a little help with my hair can you grab Serena and meet me in the restroom." Kaelyn then said quickly.
"Of course." Blair said before turning and making her way into the hall and down to where Serena was.
"Yes I will see you in a moment." Chuck said before pulling Kaelyn into a quick kiss. Kaelyn gave him a weak smile before making her way down the hall to the restroom where Blair and Serena were waiting for her.
"He is driving me insane." Kaleyn said as she put the lid down on the toilet and sat down looking up at her friends.
"You two look great, what's the problem?" Blair asked.
"I know I wanted to spend more time and work on things, but he is showering me with too much attention and I can't breathe." She then growled in frustration. "He keeps holding me close and kissing me and telling me how much he loves me and it is driving me absolutely insane."
"Well he is trying." Serena said.
"True, but goodness I think it's more of I wasn't expecting that." Kaelyn said. "It's a little weird being with him here. We haven't been together in a few months and I think I've learned to be without him."
"What are you saying?" Serena asked.
"I don't know." Kaelyn growled.
"Do you not want to try with him?" Blair asked.
"I want to try. I think I am just really afraid of him breaking my heart again. I don't think I can do that all over again." Kaelyn said as she then stood and pulled lipstick from her purse and started to apply it.
"It's nearly midnight we better get out there." Blair then said.
"Yeah." Kaelyn said as she moved her hair from her face and walked out of the bathroom in front of the other girls. She found Chuck with everyone else on the balcony as they waited for it to be midnight. Standing outside his arms went around her and she snuggled in deeper to keep warm. She closed her eyes for a moment and thought about how things used to be and she wondered if it stayed like this could they go back to their wonderful normal and not be stuck in the bad.
"10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 Happy New Year!" Everyone counted down and shouted together. Kaelyn then looked at Chuck who smiled at her before grabbing her into a deep and passionate kiss. Kaelyn wrapped her arms around his neck as his hands held her by the waist. When they broke away he looked her in the eyes and smiled.
"My New Years resolution is to win you back and be the best husband and father I can ever be." Chuck said looking Kaelyn in the eyes. She gave a small smile and found herself snuggled in his arms. She started to cry as he held her. "Baby are you alright?" he asked.
"I'm just overwhelmed in a good way." Kaelyn said as she looked up at him with a smile.
-
Being six months pregnant was not a walk in the park for Kaelyn who moved slowly through the apartment because her stomach was so swollen. For a good moment she was seriously convinced that she was having more than one baby because she couldn't imagine her stomach being as big as it was at six months. She found herself sitting on the couch alone with her work binder in hand. The binder contained the new issue of the magazine that she had to go over before Nadine came to pick it up from her. Going through every page she sat with a red pen making her corrections. She heard the door open and close and she looked to see Chuck walking in with a smile on his face.
"Hi." Kaelyn said happily as she closed the binder and sat it on the table.
"Here is your pizza that I went all the way to Brooklyn to get." Chuck said as he stood with a box in his hand. Kaelyn smiled as he handed her the large pizza box that she opened and smiled down at. Pulling out a slice she started to eat.
"Thanks." She said with her mouth half-full. Chuck reached in the box to grab a slice and Kaelyn smacked his hand. "What do you think you are doing?" she asked him in a very serious tone.
"Getting a slice of pizza." He responded in a matter-of-factly tone.
"Get your own pizza then." She spat. He quickly moved his hand away. "Thank you." She said with a smile.
It wasn't long at all and the entire pizza was gone. Chuck sat with his mouth open as he had seen an entire extra large pepperoni, pineapple, onion, and mushroom pizza disappear before his eyes in only about fifteen minutes all by one woman.
"That was good." Kaelyn said as she sat the box on the table. "I was thinking that we should get Chinese for dinner."
"That wasn't your dinner?" Chuck asked.
"Of course not." Kaelyn said as she picked her binder up to finish going through the last couple of pages. "Oh baby." Kaelyn said as she quickly put her hand on her stomach where she felt the baby kicking.
"She's kicking again?" Chuck asked.
"Yeah." Kaelyn said with a smile. Chuck put his hand on her stomach and smiled as he felt the baby kick against his hand.
"Hey there little girl." He said happily to her stomach where the baby kicked again. "You want to get out don't you?" he questioned.
"I'm sure she does and I want her out." Kaelyn said before she suddenly covered her mouth. She quickly stood and waddled her way quickly to the bathroom to get rid of the pizza she had just inhaled. Coming out of the bathroom her face was blotchy and she was sweaty. Chuck met her at the door with a cold towel and a glass of water. "Well baby really didn't like the pizza."
-
Standing watching a photo shoot Kaelyn smiled at Damien and his excited form of taking pictures with him always jumping around trying to get the best reaction from the subject. He finished the shoot and walked to where Kaelyn stood putting his arms around her waist and pulling her close. He kissed her lips quickly. All Kaelyn could do was smile like she always did when she was with him. The one thing she loved about being with Damien was that there were no doubts with him. She was sure he wasn't going to break her heart and she was sure that he was going to be there for her.
"So this I my first time talking to you since I got back, so how was the party?" he asked as he continued to hold her close.
"It was alright I guess." Kaelyn said.
"Just alright?" Damien asked. "How were you and Chuck?"
"He showered me with attention and it was weird for me. He is really trying and that makes me happy, but I have so many doubts about him in the back of my mind it is driving me insane." She said truthfully.
"No doubts with me right?" Damien asked.
"None at all." Kaelyn said with a smile before kissing him quickly. "I had nothing else planned for the day after this shoot." She said flirtatiously as she seductively bit her lip.
"Mmm sexy." Damien said with a slight growl.
"I have to get some things from my office and I will meet you in the lobby." Kaelyn said happily before kissing him and slipping from his arms and making her way out of the room.
Sitting up in the bed Kaelyn felt incredibly stupid for what she had done. Damien had his arms around her, but they both sat in silence. Over and over in her mind Kaelyn continued to curse herself for her mistake and she wondered what Damien was thinking at the moment about her mistake. Frustrated with the entire situation Kaelyn let out a breath and then looked at Damien.
"I'm sorry." She spoke in barely a whisper.
"There's no problem." Damien said kissing her lips quickly. "It's a simple mistake."
"No it's a big one." Kaelyn said as she leaned onto his chest. "When you are having sex with someone I am sure they expect you to say their name and not the name of their estranged husband."
"Kay, don't trip. It's alright. You are going through a lot." Damien said supportively. "Would it help if I said that I forgive you?" he questioned.
"Not really. I am still upset about it." She said as she kept her head on his chest. She felt his hand on her bare back and she looked up at him. "I really don't know what I am doing."
"You are doing all you can." Damien said as he pulled her to where she was straddling him. "It's alright."
Kaelyn gave him a smile and bent down to kiss him passionately. She sat up and looked down at him. She ran her fingers down his chest as she looked at him. "You are too wonderful to me." She said truthfully. She bent down and kissed him once again. "To me and Kat. I know we are going to have the best time at Disney World."
"I'm fighting for your heart remember?" he questioned with a wink.
"I remember and it's working." She said as she kissed him again. Their kiss became very rough and passionate. Damien moved to where he was on top her and looking down on her.
"How about we repair what happened before?" he said with a wink.
"Sounds like a plan." Kaelyn responded as she felt his hands run down her body. She moaned against his touch. "Damien." She said seductively with a smile as he then grabbed her by the waist and she repeated it again. He looked down at her with a smirk. Kaelyn wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him into a warm and passionate kiss. He pulled her body up and she dug her nails into the skin of his back as her breathing had become uneven in the passionate moment. Just then there was the sound of the doorbell. Both Kaelyn and Damien stopped for a moment wondering what they heard and there it came again it was obviously the doorbell. Kaelyn rolled her eyes and groaned at the distraction.