A/N: Wow it has been a REALLY long time, but I have a good excuse. First off I was on a train for 2 days from California to Chicago to attend a weeks long Harry Potter fan conference and then I took the train back to California. Then after that I had just 2 weeks to pack to move from the California Bay Area to Very Northern California. I am now settled in here at my new place where I will be living and studying for the next 3 years. While here I don't have a TV, but lucky for youtube I can keep up with Gossip Girl and with money I got the dvd of season one. Sorry about it taking so long, but I would like to thank those who reviewed on the last chapter: DaleSnail, Singdance, Bluebear48, and DamNDomsMommy.
Than To Ever Live Without You
Chapter 14
Kaelyn sat on the floor with Katherine who was coloring, well at least attempting to. The past weeks had been an emotional rollercoaster for Kaelyn who knew that every single day it got closer to when she could have a paternity test done to determine who was the father of her baby. Watching Katherine she smiled as Katherine turned to show her the paper that she had filled with colorful scribbles. Kaelyn ran her fingers through Katherine's now shoulder length dark brown hair. She then looked up to see Chuck walking into the living room with a smile on his face. He walked and sat down next to Kaelyn on the floor and put an arm around her waist.
"Good morning." He breathed softly in her ear.
"Morning." Kaelyn said before turning and kissing him.
"Daddy, yook!" Katherine said happily as she picked her paper back up and showed it to Chuck.
"That's pretty." He said to Katherine who just giggled and started adding more scribbles of color to the paper. "Your appointment is this afternoon right?"
"Yeah." Kaelyn said softly as she kept her eyes down on Katherine.
"You sure you don't want me there?" Chuck asked.
"I'm sure I don't want you there." Kaelyn responded. "My aunt is coming and I will be fine. You've already submitted your DNA so now it's the baby's turn. I'm going to do good."
"Just making sure." Chuck said before he started to kiss Kaelyn's neck softly.
Kaelyn sat in a hospital gown on a cold examination table. She had been trembling in fear since she left the apartment. She looked next to her to see Lily giving her a sympathetic look from the chair next to the table. Closing her eyes all Kaelyn could do was pray that the results came out the way that was the best for her family. The nurse entered the room with all the tools they would need and Kaelyn started to tremble even more than she already was.
Exhausted by the time she got home Kaelyn went straight to bed when she came home from the doctor's office. It didn't take too long for the test and it wasn't that difficult it was mostly Kaelyn's
nerves that kept her body working and made it so tired. Even though she was so tired Kaelyn found herself just starring at the ceiling and just feeling so apprehensive even though she knew it would be about a week before they got the official results. She starred at the ceiling until she heard the bedroom door open and there was little Katherine walking into the room with Chuck right behind her.
"Show mommy what you found." Chuck said as he left Katherine on the bed and Katherine crawled across to Kaelyn and showed her about three flowers.
"Thank you baby." Kaelyn said with a smile as she sat up in bed and pulled Katherine into her lap. "These are pretty."
"Yes!" Katherine exclaimed happily.
"We had went for a walk and she picked them in the park." Chuck said as he got onto the bed and sat next to Kaelyn putting his arm around her shoulder. "How was the test?" he asked turning to her.
"Hard." Kaelyn said looking at Katherine who was playing with the flowers. "Nerve-wracking and scary." She said with a shrug.
"I'm sure everything is going to be fine." Chuck said running his fingers through her hair.
"What if it's not?" questioned Kaelyn with tears in her eyes. "I'm scared out of my mind." She said.
"We wait until that time comes." Chuck said.
"I just don't want to lose us again." Kaelyn said leaning onto his shoulder. "That's what scares me the most."
"Mommy, Yook!" shouted Katherine who was now shoving the flowers in her mouth.
"No baby." Kaelyn said as once as she grabbed the flowers and did her best to get what was on her mouth out.
"I'll take care of it, just rest." Chuck said as he picked up Katherine and took her into the bathroom.
-
Nearly a week had passed and Kaelyn found herself in an office across from the doctor who did the DNA testing. She was trembling in her seat as she watched him unseal the envelope. Lily sat next to her holding her hand as Kaelyn waited to her from the doctor. The entire week had gone by in such slow motion for her that it drove her insane. She tried to keep herself busy and not think about it but every single time she attempted to keep herself occupied she found herself again apprehensive and just plain scared. It also for some reason just annoyed her that Chuck was trying to be so positive about everything. Even though she knew that positivity was what she needed it just bothered her that he wasn't up in arms over everything that was going on. Now though for her it was the moment of truth when she would find out everything and basically how her future was going to move.
"Well then Kaelyn after taking DNA samples from your husband, you, and your unborn child it has been concluded by extensive DNA testing that your husband is not the father of your unborn child." The doctor said with a very sympathetic look on his face, but the look on his face wasn't going to keep Kaelyn's world from falling apart.
"Okay." She breathed trying to keep her composure and not let everything come crashing down at once. "Thank you for your services." She said as she stood.
"You are welcome." The doctor answered before Kaelyn turned and with Lily right behind her they were out the door.
Kaelyn could feel her breathing becoming very quick and she felt as if everything was spinning around her as she continued to walk with no regard for anyone in her way and made it into the elevator. As she stood in the elevator tears started to stream down her face as if her face of Niagara Falls.
"Kaelyn, dear." Lily said a she put her arm around Kaelyn.
"I…I.." Kaelyn simply was at a complete loss for words. All of her fears had rushed into her body at once time and now she realized she was going to have to go home with the news she didn't want to go home with. "I…I…don't know what to do." She finally said getting words out of her mouth.
"Let's just get you home, okay." Lily said as she helped Kaelyn into the car that was waiting for them outside of the medical building.
Sitting alone in the darkness of her bedroom Kaelyn looked straight ahead at her wall and let out a single long ear piercing scream as she took the vase from the nightstand and threw it against the wall. She watched as the contents from the vase splattered against the wall and the pieces the formed the vase flew in various directions from the spot that it had come in contact with on the wall.
"Kaelyn!" Came Lily's voice as she sprinted into the room to find Kaelyn just sitting there as she had done hours before when she first had come home after finding out the results.
"I want to die." Kaelyn said simply with no emotion at all in her voice.
"No you don't." Lily said as she rushed to Kaelyn and put an arm around her. "I'm for sure everything will work out. Chuck loves you and this won't hurt your family.
"He doesn't love me that much." Kaelyn said.
"I'm sure he does." Lily said.
"He doesn't, he didn't love me that much when he continuously fought with me. He didn't love me that much when he cheated on me and he didn't love me that much when he left me and our daughter for another woman. He doesn't love me that much." Kaelyn said plainly.
"Well we will find out. He called and he is on the way home." Lily said.
"I'm not ready for this." Kaelyn said before she choked out a sob that had been sitting on her throat for a while. "I'm not ready at all to face my husband and tell him the baby I am carrying….isn't his."
A/N: I decided to do a few more chapters of this story, but there will be a sequel. The sequel though will be like a Gossip Girl second generation and mainly focus on the kids that I have started to introduce in this story.