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Than To Ever Live Without You

Chapter 15

It wasn't long after Kaelyn was informed that Chuck was actually home. She could hear from the bedroom as he came though the front door. For one she knew he was back because he heard Katherine's high pitched little voice as she incoherently rambled on about something. Kaelyn smiled to herself at hearing her daughter's voice, but then the fear that had been sitting with her took the smile directly from her face and she had then started to tremble. Taking deep breaths she wanted to stay as calm as she possibly could while she told her husband the horrible news that she knew he wasn't prepared to hear. Kaelyn then stood from the bed and made her way down the hall. The voices in the living room were now growing louder to her and she did a motion as if she were clutching her heart. In the hall right before the staircase she regained her composure with a quick smile and started down the case with the fake happiness erupting from her body.

"Hey!" she said in a very high pitched croak. The croak of a voice she always had after crying and immediately Chuck's head turned towards her with concern on his face.

"You alright?" he asked.

"Just fine." She then croaked again feeling a sob sitting in her chest.

"How about I take Kat for ice cream." Lily said as she picked up the little girl on the couch whose face had lit up with the prospect of ice cream.

"I Team!" cheered Katherine happily.

"Yep let's go get some." Lily said as she picked up her purse and walked out of the front door with Katherine in her arms clapping away.

As soon as the door was shut Chuck then spoke. "You got the results today?" he questioned.

"Yeah." Breathed Kaelyn in immediate fear as she her body again began to tremble and shake. "I'm sorry." She said as her body then collapsed to the floor and she sat leaning against the couch with tears streaming from her eyes and down her face.

"The baby isn't mine." Chuck said in conclusion as Kaelyn nodded.

"I'm so sorry." She cried as she began to repeat the same phrase over and over again.

"No need to be. We are going to be alright." He said as she got on the floor next to her and held her body against his. "I promise. I love you." He spoke in a whisper in her ear.

Waking up after a nap Kaelyn squinted as she noticed the sun was still out meaning it was still the same horrible day she had been in. She felt now as if she was trapped in this single day that wouldn't end for her. She then realized she was being held and she turned her body in the arms holding her to see Chuck looking at her.

"Are you alright?" he asked in a whisper.

"No." Kaelyn whispered back before he took a hand and started to stroke her face. Pulling her closer he gave her a kiss.

"We will work everything out." Chuck said. Kaelyn's only response was a shrug before she found his chest of her head and snuggled into that one spot to let the tears flow from her eyes.

-

Getting through the next few days had been the hardest for both Kaelyn and Chuck. Kaelyn knew for a fact he was upset and he tried his best to cover it up, but she knew him well enough that she knew he was extremely upset. Kaelyn though wasn't the type of person to hide that she was that upset and it tore her apart. What then had started to scare her was the fact that she had to tell Damien about the baby.

Sitting alone at the kitchen table Kaelyn flipped through the newest issue of her magazine that had just been dropped that morning and her assistant had one sent right over to her. She loved to do the normally everyday thing like any other person and read a magazine, even her magazine. She wanted to experience it in full print just like the average person experienced it. She heard footsteps and looked up to see Chuck walking into the dining room fixing his tie.

"Morning." Kaelyn said softly. He gave her a completely fake smile as he passed her and took his seat at the table. Kaelyn let out a sigh and held in the tears that she felt coming. The night before they had gotten into their first fight over the matter and it was a pretty bad one that Georgia took Katherine on a late night ice cream trip. "We need to talk about it." Kaelyn then stated plainly.

"We will, but right now I am not in the mood." Chuck said as he opened up the morning paper.

"Okay, sorry." Kaelyn said as she stood from the table with her magazine and left the dining room. Going up the stairs she went towards Katherine's room where she was still fast asleep. Kaelyn stood over the crib and looked down at her little girl. She knew that Katherine hadn't been phased by what happened before when Chuck left, but she didn't know what would happen if he left again. After the fight Kaelyn's biggest fear had returned that she was going to leave again and this time, probably not come back. A single tear fell from her eye and she quickly wiped it away. After everything she was just sick of crying, but no matter how hard she tried she couldn't help, but cry. Now that she and Chuck were fighting the tears came more often.

Kaelyn pulled up the blanket to cover up Katherine's little body before she left the room leaving her little girl to sleep. As she left the room she heard the front door close knowing that Chuck had left for the day. It was now just too much for her to handle. She didn't want to lose her marriage over the matter, but she knew that it was a possibility. Walking down the hall she walked into her office and sat down in the office chair. She opened the drawer and pulled out the custom-made 'Kaelyn and Charles Bass' stationary. Setting the paper in front of her she let out a sigh and took a pen to the paper.

Dear Damien,

Firstly, I feel horrible about how the sequence of events happened to where you had no idea originally that Chuck and I had gotten back together, but then you and I had spoken about when it was going to happen and that you would just let things be. I thank you for letting things be and I consider you a true gentleman who helped me though a rough time. I pray that you will find someone and I am sure the two of you will be happy because you have truly been an amazing man. Secondly, I want to thank you again because you have simply not just been an amazing man to me, but to my daughter. I know that Katherine mostly wasn't fazed by everything going on around her, but I thank you for simply showing her the attention she needed. Even though I had found happiness I knew I still wasn't completely functioning as a parent and you were pretty much a parent to her in that time and I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Now I come to the part that I was afraid to get to so quickly. Together you and I have some great times that including no less than amazing sex, but sometimes good sex has its consequences and it definitely did for you and I. I know that you have no idea what I am talking about in this moment, but I know that I must tell you. Not long ago I discovered I was pregnant. With this discovery I knew that there was a 50/50 change for either you or Chuck to be the father. I didn't want to alarm you so I had a DNA paternity test performed that tested the baby's DNA against Chuck and to our family disappointment he was not the father and the only other option is you. Damien you are the father of the child I am carrying.

So now I cannot even explain to you how scared I am. We went our own ways in a pretty much good place, but here we are with me carrying your baby just as my husband and I are now working things out. I can tell you that the whole working things out has now gone South and I find myself everyday praying that God keeps my marriage together because with this new discovery it is once again falling apart.

There is no doubt that I want you to be a part of this child's life if you please. You completely have the right to see the baby and have a relationship with this baby and I hope that you can. Now there is really not much for me to say, but that I knew I had to tell you this information. You have been a good friend and I hope you can be a great father to this baby, for one I know for sure that you can be. If you have any questions please call me and I will give you as much information on the baby that I have.

Love,

Kaelyn Bass

Looking down at the letter she had just written a tear fell down Kaelyn's cheek because it was the first time she had truly acknowledged that her marriage was in fact falling apart once again. Grabbing an envelope from the drawer she sealed the letter inside and wrote Damien's address on the outside before picking up the phone to call a delivery service to have the letter hand delivered to Damien as fast as it could be.