A/N - Yay next chapter! I'm having great fun writing this thanks to all my fantastic reviewers thank you soooooo much!

Theres a bit more diary in this chapter because i was stuck on the story bits but i think it works. This bit has a bit more Torchwood action going on because i thought that we needed a few weevils to keep it alive. I don't own these weevils, any other weevils or Torchwood.

Enjoy!

Days past, as was always the way. No matter how much you wanted time to stop, or the world to end, it just kept on going.

January rolled into February, which brought a surprise as well as the all important UNIT meetings. They certainly seemed cheerier with fat fluffy snowflakes falling outside the window.

02nd February

It's snowing! I woke up this morning dreading having to sit through hours of UNIT officials yapping away, assessing Torchwood (ME). Ianto came too bless him and we sat their before the meeting listening to rumours that it would be postponed due to the weather. We were all hoping it would be just so as we could get out of it but everyone had come in especially so we just got on with it.

Ianto said I did great but I don't believe it. I messed up completely I just couldn't care anymore. I wanted to run away and sleep. Ianto kept catching my eye, mouthing to ask if I was alright. I smiled at him each time our eyes met but the awkwardness was apparent. Our gaze never lingered for more than a few seconds each time and I wanted so much for things to go back the way they were. In the beginning, when we would laugh and joke about nothing, stupid things. But I have lost a friend.

Poor Ianto. I know things are hard for him at the moment. It is hard for both of us. He was distraught yesterday when his cat was mauled by a stray weevil. We caught it – the weevil, but it took both me and Owen restraining Ianto to prevent him going down to the vaults and punching it right in the face there and then. The cat was dead.

He kept yelling about how its death had set him back, how he'd been doing so well and this weevil had ruined it. I understood what he was on about and I think Owen did too but the others were clueless.

More meetings tomorrow – hopefully they'll cancel those. I can't be bothered.

The conference was cancelled for that day. Everyone was ecstatic and Jack ordered that they could all have the day off as thick snow was a rare enough sight and they should enjoy it. Myfanwy joined in by escaping the Hub and it turned out she loved the snow. Jack was chasing around after her for much longer than he would readily admit but he caught the irate dinosaur eventually and restored her back to her high indoor cave. The rift was quiet again (Jack was beginning to wonder if there was something wrong) and so most of his day was wasted watching films and surfing the internet. The Twenty First century was so interesting.

03rd February

No boring UNIT meetings! YAY! And it's still snowing! I love Earth, so much fun. Mind you - Bloody UNIT, never cancel anything, end of the world and they'll be sitting round the scheduled annual budget meeting. But a bit of harmless snow and it's a huge disaster. It was lucky the rift was quiet or it would have been work as usual for the rest of us.

Ianto came online and started moaning about a huge snowball fight in his street and how he had ended up with snow down his pants (don't ask!). He seems to be getting on well with Martina. I'm happy for him yet I'm somewhat sad. I suppose you can't have everything you want. He talks about her a bit much for my liking though.

We had that same old conversation today – each blaming ourselves for this whole business. I don't know why he blames himself, I think it's because he broke up with me in the first place but it's all my fault really. I was so blinded by my Love for him that I didn't register his feelings. I didn't think about the implications of my actions properly and I was so selfish, always thinking about what I wanted, not what was best for us.

Oh well, what's done is done. More meetings tomorrow – weather permitting.

There was no snow left the next day. It was a shame and everyone was feeling a bit down. Ianto wasn't even there, he called in sick – just a small fever he said. Jack hoped that was all but he knew that psychologically Ianto was far from fine. He was getting better all the time though.

Jack spent the morning writing in his diary, which was unusual as he normally reserved writing for the evenings.

04th February

He texted me last night. He kept asking how could I Love him and he said he really wanted to kiss me right then and there.

I was a little confused I must say. In the same message he would talk about wanting to kiss me and then say how Martina was a great kisser, he compared us to be honest. I had to ask him to stop talking about Martina actually. I feel like a complete bastard but why would I want to hear about the lucky person who I wish didn't exist, so Ianto could be with me.

He said he had a dream about shagging me and Martina walking in.

All I can hope for is that this means he still likes me. We had a conversation about hope actually. He said about how he had faith in God, and that was his hope. I'm glad he has faith. I have seen too much sadness and death in the whole of time and space. Every time I die I see nothing before I'm dragged back into life. I cannot believe.

Also he asked me if I wanted to sleep with him, I think. I am a little confused and I bet he is too. I wouldn't want him to cheat and I really wouldn't want to take advantage of him or do anything we would regret later.

But there is always hope, and I love him. That's got to count for something.

A/N - Please please please review - i would love to write a chapter celebrating 50 reviews hint hint!!!