A/N: Sry it took so long to update guys, had school and stuff like that. Anyway some things. 1) for those of you who read this originally i had Riley as the new guy, i didnt think he fit the way i wanted that character in my story to, so i changed it to lindsey, i updated the beginning so it has his name now. he will show up more later. 2) the way the public school system works here 7, 8 and 9th grade are junior highs seperate from highschool. 10th is the first year of highschool. So its buffy and the gangs first year. that is for now.. enjoy
2 months later… Friday before Spike Pratt's annual Halloween Party
2 months into to school and I'm already ready to keel over and die. My classes suck. I have so much home work every night, which leaves no time for anything. My carefree summer life has officially ended. Not only that but I apparently did something to offend our grand, cough short, rude and incredibly rat like, principle, Snyder. Apparently having my older sister and brother be some of the favored students to every grace the halls of Sunnydale High does not automatically make me likeable. Wonderful.
Apparently my sibling's social and academic statuses do nothing for my social status either. After two months of our existence being ignored, Faith and I resigned our selves to a faceless high school existence. Yes, you are right in the assumption that, that lunch when I thought that maybe, maybe we were noticed by the cool kids was a fluke. I think Wes was right, I did imagine it.
So far my social life includes Faith, Willow, Cordelia, Xander and I sitting on my couch watching a movie on my Big Screen TV, courtesy of my father, and watched as Wesley went here and there with the guys. I went to school, came home, did homework, and went to sleep, repeat. The on the weekends I chilled with the gang. We toyed with idea of going to the Bronze, the local "it" spot, uhm… the only "it" spot in Sunnydale, but it would just be two embarrassing since we were lowly underclassmen.
I tried making friends with Lindsey, the new guy. Thought maybe we had a connection because of the party. But he seemed content on being by himself. I mean really, he has no friends, doesn't want 'em. I gave up after that, if the guy doesn't wanna be my friend what do I care I have my own friends.
Speaking of my friends, here we sit at our usual lunch table in all our nothingness. It's the Friday before Halloween, the Friday before Spike Pratt's annual Halloween Bash. This party was huge anyone who is anyone is going. So obviously we aren't. It's quite depressing actually, for the first year ever I don't even have a Halloween costume. I don't have a need for one, I'm too old to trick-or-treat and I have now parties to go too. I have not idea what I would wear if I did have something to wear it too. Mean Girls was right about one thing, Halloween is an excuse for girls to wear lingerie and animal ears… Or a slutty nurse, cop, teacher, librarian. It's like every guys fantasy come to life. And I, for one, am defiantly not comfortable enough with my body to wear stuff like that in private, let alone in public.
"So… What is this actually supposed to be?" Asked Faith pointing to some pile of unnatural yellow.
"I don't know and don't want to, that's why I don't eat lunch here." I replied.
Xander however, the expert of school lunches cut in, "I think it supposed to be creamed corn." Everyone at the table cringed and went about picking at their food. Everyone but me who sat there with an uneaten apple, brought from home, and a bottle of water.
I don't eat lunch. I don't eat breakfast. I don't eat dinner. I don't eat at all unless I have to, to keep people from noticing. It's easiest at school; I just blame my lack of appetite on the gross food they sell. I don't remember when I started not eating, I only know why. I was a skinny little kid, look at pictures of me from the age of 4 to 12 and I'm a stick. It's when I went through puberty, gained more weight than I should have, started reading magazines and getting into fashion noticed the ideal body set up by the media. People noticed I wasn't skinny either. Being chubby in 6th, 7th and 8th grade, isn't really that bad, baby fat perhaps. But when I looked at my perfect sister, my perfect mother, the way other people looked at the three of us when we went shopping, like I didn't belong with them, wasn't good enough, pretty enough.
It drove me crazy. I think the beginning of ninth grade I started skipping a couple of meals, started going jogging. I lost a few pound, people noticed. Especially my mom, and Gwen, my idol, the epitome of everything I wanted to be. The pretty, popular cheerleading princess. I worked harder lost more weight, the more I lost the easier it became. The comments people gave me were addicting. Everyone thought I really did just lose my baby fat, grew into myself.
We went on a family vacation at the beginning of this summer, before sophomore year and I had finally reached my goal weight, beyond that even. We came back, and I don't know if it was just being gone and nobody seeing us, or something else. But people finally started noticing me, when I went shopping with my sister now, people looked at us, me, like we were the perfect, skinny, family. I loved it. I'm way past my goal now; I just can't make myself eat now. It makes me sick just thinking about. It's been about a year now. No ones really noticed I don't eat. They don't care. I'm one of the "beautiful people" now, that's all they need to know.
I take a sip of water, leaving my apple uneaten. I look up and catch Faith staring at me with a funny look on her face. I give her my best "everything's-right-as-rain" smile, and she looks away. Just then somebody grabs my shoulders, causing me to nearly jump out of my skin. Whoever it was then takes the empty seat next to me (there are a lot of empty seats at our table).
"Wesley, what brings you to our humble table?" Faith asks with a false sugary smile, they don't really get a long, when Faith and I were little Wesley took her Skydancer and flew it on to the roof; it's never been seen again. Needless to say Faith has never forgiven him.
Wesley gets this deeply serious, lets out a long suffering sigh and says…. "Okay it's like this, I was sent over here to invite you all to Spike's Party. Don't get all excited; don't get ideas into your head. You guy's aren't cool; you're only invited to even out the ratio of guys to girls. And you better not do anything to embarrass me." Wes rolls his eyes and before anyone of us can respond he gets up and walks away.
Cordelia starts giggling with excitement, Faith's trying to play it cool but I know she's excited, Willow is starting to hyperventilate and Xan, Well I don't think he understands what's going on. I mean I don't even understand it. Nobody has spoken yet and I take this opportunity to voice my opinion.
"Sorry to burst your bubbles guys… but we don't have costumes." Cordelia and Faith look at each other with these shit-eating grins on their faces.
"Actually, Cordelia and I go us costumes in case something came up, we wanted to be prepared." Faith said. And it was me and Willow's turn to look at each other, this time with dread.
"A-and what would those costumes be?" Willow asks.
"Well, see, it's a surprise." Cordy replies.
"And that sounds like something I would not wear. Look, you guys were invited you go, I think I'll just stay home." I do not trust Faith and Cordelia's taste in costumes, I would end up being a bunny in lingerie.
"Ditto." Is Willow's vote.
"No you guy's have to go, one because Buffy is Wesley's sister therefore our in, and two we need for people for the costumes to make sense." I knew this wasn't true, the reason we were invited was because Gunn had a crush on Cordelia. They may not talk to us, but I watch them sometimes, and I've seen the way he watches her when she walks. Sometimes goes out of his way to walk by her.
"Fine, I'll think about it, but it all depends on what the costume is." I gave in, because I knew they would eventually talk me into it anyway. I am rewarded with bright dazzling smiles from Cor and Faith, and a look of dread from Willow. "So what are you going to wear Xan?" I ask taking the focus off of me.
"Oh I'll think of something."