Be afraid.
...Very afraid.
Thank you to Delbi18 who wrote a review that informed me of a major flaw in chapter 1. Chindori and Ragiki were NOT the same jutsu.
(sob)
...WIKI LIED TO ME! WAH!
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I'm sorry I'm not honest.
I'm also sorry that you're so gullible!
Actually I'm not sorry at all! So ha!
Remember when I said there were seven secret jutsus?
...I lied.
There's an eighth jutsu that I won't talk about until I want to.
So there.
Ha.
Forgot to mention...your dad.
Lol!
Ahem, let us move on. I'm POSITIVE you all want to know about his 91 ballroom dancing jutsus.
...Right?
Well, it doesn't matter if you don't because I'm gonna write about them anyway. SO HA! IN YOUR DISFIGURED FACE!
...Anyway, here is a short list of the different kinds of jutsus in this catagory;
Waltzy Shark no jutsu: Makes the nearest man shark dance the vieneese remarkably well. Only do-able if it's a full moon and your mom told you to clean your room, but you say no, so then she calls your brother, but he annoys you, so you poke him with a fork.
For example;
Itachi: (being emo in his room)
Itachi's mom: (barges in) UCHIHA ITACHI! When was the last time you cleaned your room!
Itachi: Oh I don't know...I'm too busy writing depressing love notes to myself to even notice. (Looks out of window) What a beautiful full moon...
Itachi's mom: Young man, clean it now!
Itachi: ...No.
Itachi's mom: Do it or I'll...call Sasuke!
Itachi: (horrified) Oh mom, please no! I'll do it, I promise!
Itachi's mom: (evil smirk) Too late...(pokes head out of Itachi's door) OH SASSY-CHAN! Your big brother wants you!
Sasuke: (hears mom and perks up) N-Ni-san w-wants me! NII-SAN I'M COMING!
Itachi: Oh Akito no...
(Cue horror music)
Dun dun dun dun...
Itachi's mom: (disappears in a puff of smoke)
Sasuke: (inside room) NII-SAN! (glomps) Do you need me to help you clean your room nii-san? I'll do anything for you nii-san! Anything! NII-SAN! NII-SAN! NII-SAN! NII-SAN! NII-SAN! NII-SA-
Itachi: (jabs sharp fork into Sasuke's mouth)
Sasuke: Ow! Nii-san that hurt! Don't worry nii-san, I still love you!
Itachi: (rolls eyes) I swear I'm gonna kill everyone in this family one day...except you, for some vague reason.
A million miles away...
Kisame's mom: Kisame! when was the last time you cleaned your aquarium?
Kisame: Leave me alone...
Kisame's mom: (rolls eyes) whatseverevereverever...(goes away)
Kisame:Finally...(a poof of smoke suddenly surronds him) The heck? I have the sudden urge to dance remarkably well...(does the waltz)
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Next on the list;
ShambalaSambadori: Forces a random person from the world of Shambala to do the Samba.
Only happens if you preform the hand signs tiger, rabbit, monkey 2435643 times.
This only happened twice. Once on Envy Monster by Kakashi in his spare time and on Ed at a birthday party for Roy by Orochimaru.
Yes, these two have a lot of time on their hands.
No, I do not have pictures of Ed or Envy doing the Samba.
But I do have a picture of Wrath singing "I feel pretty."
Not gonna show it you, though.
So HA! IN YOUR DISFIGURED FACE!
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Lastly is HokeyPokeyArtickokey no jutsu.
Only concivable if you have a grandfather named Sasuke. And he sings in the shower. And the shower just so happens to be filled with "I love Naruto" wallpaper. And if your dad goes out wearing tights. Baby blue tights.
What it does is makes you constantly be surrounded by idiots.
Kakashi unfortunately had this jutsu preformed on him ever since he was born.
Sad, isn't it?
One of the side effects is a tendency to do the hokey pokey to Numa Numa.
You put your left foot in...
What? Everyone does it!
So HA! IN YOUR DISFIGURED FACE!
That's getting old.
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Enjoy. or Else. I'll dance.