A/N: Short update to point out I haven't died - yay!

His mouth tried to form words to the thousands of questions that spilled like a broken dam into his mind but he just couldn't seem to get his throat to make any noise. Once again his eye's locked onto his previously dead Godfather, sure his father was there, but it was different, he knew Sirius… Or maybe he didn't, chiefly this person looked the same, he had a few salt streaks through his hair and some crow's feet that Harry just couldn't place on the man he remembered. The eye's were still Sirius as Harry knew him though, bright and playful… but Sirius didn't look at Harry like he was looking at him now – like there was something he didn't like wrong with him. Harry had only ever seen him look at Snape like that – concern and disgust all rolled into one glance.

He couldn't take that from someone who had always loved him. Questions of 'where' fled from his mind as he tried to make the words come out of his mouth that would make things alright with his Godfather. No sentences would form though and all he managed to whine out was,

"Don't" as he looked pleadingly into Sirius' eyes. Sirius just looked away though, acting like he didn't know Harry, like he didn't want the attention of the crazed, psychotic – stranger, bound up like a tubeworm on the bed. That made Harry angry and it wouldn't have been a full second after he gave his pleading request that his whole demeanour changed.

"Don't you dare look at me like that" he said angrily, drawing Sirius' eyes back to his own. "You have no right to look at me like that when you left! I did the best I could and I won. So don't you dare look at me like that because I didn't do it the way you wanted! You could have stayed! Both of you" he added rounding on the headmaster, "you could have chosen to be ghosts and stayed with me, I needed your help, but you didn't stay to guide me so you sure as hell don't get to judge me now! And that goes for you to" he said as he whipped his head around to look at his father, but he was somewhat cowed by his father's concerned gaze and so he continued in a quieter voice, "I'm sorry… I'm not you and I never will be… but I tried for so long… Is that why mum isn't here, because of Draco? It didn't mean anything I loved Ginny. I'm her son, surely she can't hate me 'cos of one thing? I mean I get why Ginny's not here and I suppose the rest of the Weaslys are probably all mad at me too, but I don't get why Draco would come here and then talk to you." He said casting a scathing glance at Snape, "Actually why would you even be here at all? If you think you can mock me well than you can just kis…" he eyes gave the briefest twitch in Mcgonagal's direction and he spent half a second in very deep confusion before he decided to continue more politely, "…not, because I won! My side won, after you left it you traitorous ba-, person, so lick my hairy ass! Woops, sorry professor." He said glancing guiltily in the feline professor's direction.

By this stage, to say that everyone was confused would have been an understatement. Lupin appeared to be considering stunning Harry so he could have a chance to process all that the boy had just rambled out. McGonagall was inconspicuously trying to view her reflection on the shiny stainless steel bed railing to see if there was anything in particular that had the boy so wary of her and even Snape was so confused he only managed to think half of his lip up into a sneer, which left him looking rather like a sniffing rat.

Finally Sirius managed to cough out, "What?"

"We're dead aren't we?" Harry asked back slowly. Sirius cast a quick look down at himself as did James and they shook their heads slowly in unison. There was a pause as Harry tried to run the list through his head – 'Dead, cross. Deatheaters, cross, People he knew, hopefully cross…Amnesia? That would be a better option to look into if the bloody issue wasn't how they were all breathing in the same air… Inferi? Pretty sure my father's a little too dead for that to be a plausible option… … … … … FAWKES! That malignant fucking pheasant was invited to his KFC dinner party'

"FAWKES!" Harry screamed suddenly into the previously silent hospital wing, causing Dumbledore to pull an odd face and splutter slightly as he accidentally swallowed a large lemon drop and Snape to twitch his other lip corner up into an alarmed!sneer, leaving him to look like a rat in that millisecond when it realised the fishy smell was cat's breath.

"It's no good trying to play dead with me – you're a bloody phoenix! Tell me what you did!" he yelled angrily. There was a flash of fire and suddenly the large ruby firebird was seated on his knee, his eyes glinting haughtily at Harry.

He trilled sharply, as if to say "Well dickhead I've never met in my life, here I am. Do you perhaps speak bird?"

Harry glared at the bird's reception; it would appear he was a stranger to Fawkes as well. Harry breathed in, and then Harry breathed out, just because Fawkes was being a fireturd didn't mean he couldn't still explain this.

A/N: Very short/annoying update I know, but I managed to get half of it out and it started wandering off, and then I didn't know what to write... so I'm STILL eventually hoping to get out an explanation. This was getting just a little too joking for something semi-serious - any opinions on that?

Katty xx