Disclaimer: SM owns all.
A/N: So, just the epologue left after this. How sad. But, I do have another story in the works... possibly two. This one is kind of slow going because I keep getting writer's block. Hopefully it will be up and ready for you to read by the end of the month....

EPOV

I got up and left the house, feeling instantly remorseful for my outburst. But, I couldn't take them all treating my like I was five. Why didn't they understand?! I didn't want to be here anymore. I couldn't be here anymore. Not without Bella. I drove back down to the funeral home to wait for the second viewing to begin. I sat down in the same chair I had sat in before.

After about a half hour, I looked around and spotted the piano in the corner of the next room. The room that connected the room I was sitting in with the room that my Bella lay in, in her peaceful rest of the after life. If there was an after life. I wasn't so sure. In my opinion, or at least, the opinion I had gained over the past few days, the after life did not exist. In my opinion, if it existed, Carlisle would have been able to save Bella that day in the hospital. In my opinion, if it existed, I would have had my prayers answered about having my Bella back in my arms and safe and alive.

Why hadn't I seen the piano before? Oh yeah, that's right. I hadn't seen it because I hadn't been able to go and see Bella so I hadn't been near this room and hadn't seen it. I sat down at the piano, which was facing the coffin that held my Bella. She looked so peaceful. I don't know how long I watched her for, but the next thing I knew, my fingers began to move across the keys without my permission. I played a melody that was new to me.

I played for twenty minutes. The melody came to an end at the same time that I felt someone's hands on my shoulders. I dropped my head into my hands and let myself cry, as the tune played itself over and over again in my head and I heard the sadness and pain in it. I didn't look to see whom it was that was now rubbing my back as I cried. I didn't care who it was.

When I finally calmed down, nearly thirty more minutes later, I saw that everyone had arrived. Alice was seated next to me on the piano bench.
"Edward? Would it pain you too much to play it again for everyone to hear? It was only me that heard it."
"Yeah. I'll play it again. It'll hurt but the more I play the better I think I might get. No one minds me playing it?"
"No. Not at all. I asked the funeral director if he minded you playing it and he said not at all. And everyone has seen you sitting here so they were curious." I nodded. Alice fell silent and my fingers began to play the tune I had memorized in one sitting, for everyone to hear. The low hum of voices around the two rooms dulled and stopped and everyone began gathering in the room where I was playing.

I played the twenty minute tune, and then chanced a look around the room quickly when I had finished. I had been mostly blocking the thoughts of every person for the last few days, except for earlier today when Jasper had had that desperate look on his face. The look that told me he was thinking something he wanted me to hear, while dragging me back to sit in the chair, with the help of Emmett. I tuned into his thoughts and then blocked everyone out again. I hadn't listened to anyone else since then. I didn't try to listen to anyone's thoughts now either. I used all my concentration on not crying again. I looked back at my hands as all eyes stayed on me. Someone came over and hugged me.
"That was beautiful, Edward." came Renee's voice. I nodded once to acknowledge that I had heard her. Then another pair of arms were around me. Esme. She didn't speak, just held me to her.

She released me and I stood. To everyone's amazement, including Alice's because I was doing this spontaneously, I got up and went into the room where Bella was. I sat down in a chair right next to the coffin and looked at her. I didn't move again until it was time to go. Finally, Carlisle came over and placed a hand on my shoulder.
"Edward, it's time to leave. Come on." I stood and followed Carlisle outside, after saying my final good-byes to my love. I got into the volvo and followed everyone home.

On they way there, my body shut itself down in a way. All my emotions had disappeared and all my thoughts went blank. I was just a shell now.

I arrived home and parked the volvo in the garage next to Rose's M3. I got out and walked into the house. Carlisle was in the living room. I looked at him for a moment. He noticed the blank stare in my eyes.
"Edward? Are you alright, son?"
"Fine, Dad." I almost never called him Dad.
"What do you feel?"
"Absolutely nothing." Carlisle was silent. But his brain was working on overtime. I half listened to what he was thinking. He shut down. His body, and probably his mind. He's closed out the pain. That's not good. Maybe I should take him to a psycologist? I really don't know what to do. But, he can't go on like this. I'll try to talk to him later. I tuned him out after that. He probably didn't know that I was listening, because I hadn't been listening to anyone in so long. I found that I really didn't care about what his thoughts contained. I didn't care about anything anymore.

The next day was the burial. I did not shed one tear that day. The shell I had become would not allow me to. I didn't do much that morning. I got up, threw on whatever clothes Alice handed me, and climbed into the volvo. I drove over to the funeral home for the final time. The only other person there when I arrived, was Charlie. I walked over to where he stood, in the next room saying his final good-byes to his daughter. He looked up at the sound of my approach.
"Oh. Edward. You're here early."
"Yes."
"Would you like to say your final good-byes to her?"
"Yes." I stood next to Bella and thought about what I would have said to her if she were standing next to me right now.

When I was done, I stood up and faced Charlie again.
"Charlie, there's something I want to tell you." I had decided this suddenly. But, I thought he needed to know. Sooner rather than later. Alice had just been walking in with Rose, Emmett and Jasper. She gasped. She had seen that I was going to tell Charlie. I looked at her. She nodded. Tell him. I nodded at her thought.
"What is it Edward?"
"You know I loved your daughter very much, right?"
"Yes."
"And I was willing to do anything in the world for her as long as it made her happy?"
"Yes."
"I was going to ask her to marry me. I was in the hospital that day with Carlisle. I was telling him what I was planning to do and then I was going to come and see you to ask for her hand."
"Edward!" He was suddenly very sympathetic toward me. I didn't need it. I didn't feel anything.
"And, Carlisle found out something. From the tests. I think you need to know."
"What's that?"
"She was a month pregnant." He was speechless. He stared at me. But, he didn't look angry. He looked pained. I looked at Jasper, over Charlie's shoulder, and got confirmation on that emotion.
"You would have made a great father, Edward."
"Thank you, Charlie." Renee and Phil walked in just after this was announced.
"Edward?" she asked me as soon as she saw me standing there with Charlie.
"Renee?"
"Would you like to help carry her? I wanted to ask Carlisle and yourself."
"Thank you, Renee. I would like that. I'm sure Carlisle would as well."
"Oh. Thank you, Edward." I only nodded.

Finally everyone was here and it all began. First was the ceremony in the funeral home. Charlie, Phil, Jacob, Billy, Carlisle and I carried her out of the home and into the hearse. Then we went over to the church. We carried her into the church and went through the whole ceremony there. Then it was time for the final stage. The burial. We all drove down to the cemetary where she was to be buried. Carlisle, Charlie, Phil, Jacob, Billy and I carried her to the grave and placed her in the platform which would later lower her into the ground. I zoned out and didn't hear another word of the final ceremony.

The next thing I knew, Alice had her arm around my shoulders and was guiding me into the back of Carlisle's mercedes. She drove the volvo home herself.

I remembered arriving back home and being guided into the house by some unknown person and then sitting down on the couch.

I didn't remember anything else from the rest of that day. I didn't snap out of it until 5pm. But, I didn't know that it was 5pm the next day.

I was as normal as I could be from that day forward, though I never moved on. I never found another person to love as I had love Bella. I was alone. But, I didn't want to find someone else. I was happy the way things were. If I couldn't have Bella, then I wouldn't have anyone.