AN: Just a tiny 1000 word or so update... because... I can
Enjoy
Harry flicked his wand to pick up the scrolls and was forced to raise an eyebrow when the apparently spritely McGonagall dived onto the floor, grabbing her wand and rolling to her feet while firing a blasting curse, all in one fluid movement. Perhaps just a little bit more because he was irritated that she was firing at him and not because it was the only option he could think of – he moved the paper pile in front of himself to block the spell.
Paper exploded everywhere and began raining down upon them both in tiny mock snowflakes, leaving the pair of them standing absurdly and more then a little awkwardly with 'snow' all through their hair and over their clothes, piles only growing as paper continued to rain from the ceiling. McGonagall stood looking quite a bit sheepish at her overreaction while Harry hadn't moved at all, his eyebrow still raised in wry, almost-amusement.
"Don't worry" he said dryly, "I have that effect on a lot of people".
Elsewhere, at the door to the great hall a quiet fight was playing out.
"Malfoy you shouldn't be spying on the teachers. I could still deduct points you know" Hermione Granger whispered furiously to the boy standing flush with the wall, peering out a crack in the door, Neville Longbottom standing as slightly unwilling sentry behind her.
"Shove off Granger!" Malfoy spat back very quietly, "If you want a spot, then get on the floor where you mudbloods belong" he finished with a cheeky smirk and moved himself slightly (very, ever so minimally) so she could fit at the bottom of the doorframe. Neville moved to defend her but Granger just shook her head and rolled her eyes at him to show Malfoy wasn't worth the time. Neville smiled at her and nodded in dutiful agreement, Draco just fixed him with a dismissive glare that clearly said he wasn't worth the air he wasted and then rolled his eyes at the pair of them before returning to his spying.
Hermione huffed indignantly and shoved in front of Malfoy for a spot at the door crack. Draco jumped back at the contact and sucked up all the pompous ire from the air he could before irately spitting out,
"Don't you dare touch me you dirty little mudblood!"
"Deal with it Malfoy" was all Hermione would calmly reply. This only led to Draco sucking in more air, his chest threatening to explode with the indignity of it all. Of course he wasn't allowed to retaliate physically seeing as Granger unfortunately qualified as a girl… and no rightly bred pureblood would ever hit a girl. So Draco was left sucking in air until he could suck it in no more, then he released it all in one long hiss.
"One of these days Granger, someone is going to put you in your place" He threatened bodingly.
"I'll keep that in mind" she said with a dismissive smirk, not even bothering to turn from her position at the door. She jumped however when she felt contact at her back, "What are you doing Malfoy?" she demanded huffily, turning to look up at him.
"Well I'll already have to incinerate the robes, I may as well not miss the show" he said haughtily, smiling at her obvious discomfort.
"Sure Malfoy, like you won't sleep with them under your pillow for the rest of the year" she argued back irritably. For a second Draco seemed too surprised that she would suggest such a thing to speak, but it passed quickly.
"Hardly Granger, because unlike you I wouldn't be able to stand having my face covered in Longbottom's cum", he drawled mockingly.
The effect of that little quip was well expected and almost instantaneous – Granger went to slap him just as Longbottom lunged at him, and Draco who managed to miss both was forced to fight back a laugh as the notoriously clumsy Neville managed to send both himself and Granger sprawling out into the hall.
Then he heard perhaps the most beautiful sound he'd ever heard in his life.
"Hermione?" It was the nutcase! The nutcase DID bugger Granger after all; Snape was in for an early Christmas. All this processed through his mind so quickly he was already letting out the strangled laugh he'd been trying to hold back before he managed slap his own palm across his mouth to stop the sound coming out. But the nutcase got worse…
"Hermione? I can't believe it's you. I've missed you so much since that last night-" By this stage Draco was attempting the physically impossible task of stuffing his whole fist down his throat to silence the laughs that his pharynx refused to cut off, only made worse by the sight of Granger standing frozen and speechless for once in her life. Then the nutcase must have noticed Longbottom…
"Neville! It's so good to see you here, I thought after that last one you might have been done for good." At that point Draco actually choked on his own fist, and he was forced to shut the door, before he was seen. He was laughing so hard now he couldn't even stand up anymore, so he slid down against the door, tears running down his face, snot hanging from his nose and drool coming out his mouth. The situation was so past hilarious he was actually laughing silently all by himself now… only emitting strange little squeaks every so often when he had to take a breath.
McDougal, a Ravenclaw prefect and a few of his friends were the only ones brave enough to approach the laughing Malfoy on the floor, who was looking as far from his usual preppy self as it was possible for him to look.
"Oi Malfoy, you alright?" asked the prefect cautiously.
Between large gasps of air Draco managed to get out, "Granger… sexed… nutcase… there" he finished, wildly gesturing towards the entrance hall.
"Malfoy you are so full of shit!" scoffed McDougal.
"No… there… look!" Draco laughed out, grasping his stomach and just managing to crawl away from the door enough so the prefect could see for himself. He did and then after a good five seconds of being jaw droppedly frozen at the sight he closed the door carefully again and yelled out to the whole hall,
"Bloody Hermione Granger has a boyfriend"… no one really reacted, "it's not Longbottom" he added and anarchy broke out as students all began struggling to get a glimpse of the impossible boy that had apparently penetrated the ice fortress that was Hermione Granger, muggleborn and prefect extraordinaire. All the while Draco Malfoy sat laughing gleefully on the floor.
I decided I'd rather have a short update then a long period of being stuck on this one section... reviews help me think you see :)
On that note "review... lack reviews... rant ... rant... blahhhhh blaaaaaah... reviews good... drugs bad... hippos vegetarian?"
Katty xx