Bleach belongs to the person who made it and drew it and well made it! I would also like to thank Haruka-Hime for being my Beta reader on this story! Thank you! Also this chapter is made for my friend windlily (read her stuff ppl! It just rocks!) My good friend on gaiaonline and real life Altern and also my main man; Kiro Akikaze. Ya keep me laughing dude!

Weep not, child,

Weep not, my darling,

With these kisses let me remove your tears;

Walt Whitman - On the Beach at Night.

Day of September 29th: Chapter One

He found himself missing something more than normal today, it escaped his icy and clear mind all the more as the dawn broke once more to the land. Hitsugaya Toushirou, captain of the Tenth Devision, could not place his figure on it and it bothered the young man more then ever. His teal eyes had been staring at the same paper for the last half hour and he couldn't concentrate enough to get any work done.

By now most of this mountain of paper work would become a mole hill at his rigged pace, but not today of all things. Something lingered on his mind and kept on turning around in an endless loop like the ice ring of Hyourinmaru. Today not even the dragon could give him an insight in to his own mind. It bothered the young captain more and more as his brush tapped in time to the clock in his office. What was missing? What seemed out of place? His day had been normal so far, never straying in the repetitive routine he lived by.

What was it?

He scowled more then normal, his cheek cupped open palm in his left hand as the tapping of the brush now seemed to stop dead as the clock rang out, marking the ten pmwith a light chime. The thing had been gift from Orihime before they left the real world after the girl had been saved from the monster known as Aizen. It was a simple gift, but she had smiled through her tears when giving it to him. Personally he liked the way it sounded in the empty office and how it gave some life to the bare place.

"Damn, I am letting my mind wander when there is work to be done!" he spoke to the Dragon deep in his soul who only seemed to agree with his partner and sent an idea to the frustrated captain. "Your right, maybe a walk will clear my head a bit and wake me up Hyourinmaru."

Pulling his body from the chair, he couldn't help but smile at the change in the last year after the war had ended. He was finally growing up after so long suck in the body of a child. It was relief to him to be not just be stuck in the ranks of the boy genius his whole life, being scorned by others for his size, and having treated like a child by all the other captains. Seems height did carry respect he thought amidst his moments of reflections of being teased for his size.

Still, the Captain of the 13th Devision, Ukitake, did still slip him a candy bar now and then just to keep up the inside joke between the two white haired shinigami's. Hitsuyaga took it mostly out of the politeness and often just gave it away to the little pink haired Lieutenant of the 11th Devision when she would come over searching for what she knew he had in his desk.

It worked out for all three of them, so why mess up a good thing while it lasted? As he moved, cracks sounded from his back, caused by sitting for a long period of time with little movement and drew a groan from him. Yes a walk would be good to get his mind on things and to keep it from wandering.

After the seasons of winter in the cold that was his, fall was the runner up for the young man. It was the colors that got him, everywhere the trees seemed painted in the glory of the sun's shades like a sunset. Hitsuyaga let his face break into an easy going smile that many thought was not possible for him. It's not like he always scowled all the time, he could in fact show a range of emotions then just as Matsumoto once said "grumpy". His thoughts on the woman broke the warmth in his heart a little. He missed her.

Rangiku had been staying away from the office more then normal this week and he had to wonder why. It seemed so empty with out her there to tease the young captain or her sweet berating to fill the air as he did his work. Hitsuyaga missed that about her after she started changing eight months ago. Had it been only 8 months from the end of the Winter War in their world that almost turned bad if not for the substitute shinigami who rushed in to deal the last blow to Aizen along with Yamamoto-Genryusai Shigekuni and himself after killing Ichimaru Gin and helping Zaraki Kenpachi with Tosan in the end of things.

His frown deepened, the killing of the sly faced had left him empty of the anger he had carried for so long and hard. Yet it was the look on her Venus like face Matsumoto known only as the human name of that made him feel guilty of all things for killing that man and riding the world of him. Afterwards while he was healing in 4th Devision, Hitsugaya had time to realize how close they had been, much like him and Momo once long ago.

Signing, his feet stopped under one of them many trees. Was that the reason she dared not hold his gaze? Not smiling at him in the way she had? Hugging his once small frame to her body and loving his frantic yells to be release from her cage of arms? Was the death of that man the reasons for her pain? "Damn you Gin, even after you are gone, you still hurt those I hold close!" It all made sense now in his mind of the real trouble that plagued his friend and Lieutenant for the last year after the war.

"I need to talk to her." he spoke to the dragon in his zanpakuto; the dragon seemed to growl softer in his answer to the young man. "I know. I should have done this a long time ago Hyorinmaru, but so much happened in the War... I lost track of everything else but my duties as a captain, but I might have also lost her to if it's not to late..."

Hitsuyaga combed his hair wit his fingers, deep in thought about how to do this. He was a genius when it came to fighting and the shinigami arts, he needed to be a captain at so young an age. Woman were a new thing to him and frankly they scared him more then facing Aizen had at this time in his life. One woman more then others at this point, yet he needed her more then ever during these times after the War ended. His white crown caught the suns light for a moment as he stood in the scent of the fall around him, leaving him wanted for the scent of honey to sound his mind in comfort.

He remembered the moment his eyes had opened to her; Matsumoto had fallen sleeping by his bed side, her blond hair following in a river of silky tallies looking so soft he had dared to touch them just to fell the texture. The soft cheek bones were tearing stained and a bit red from crying or sleeping on her cheeks, her breathing was light and sound and he felt the warmth of her skin holding his hand like it was glass in that cold break at her touch. Something in his heart skipped a beat seeing her stay by his side while he wandered in his dreams of blood and gore.

Hitsuyaga had called her name in the room, those cornflower eyes fluttering open to meet his, and it was enough for him to speak or her. A soft fire hit his forehead as rain fell bout him in tears, her lips pressed to the skin of his forehead while the silver locks had been pushed back. It had been enough for them in that moment.

Had it been?

Something had changed inside of him also in the moment, stirring something deep his body and heart. What was it? He felt it now thinking of her. Where was Matsumoto? He wanted to see that soft knowing smile she just gave him, her eyes taking him in for which he was not. Not the title of captain or the genius they all pushed his life to form; to her he just Hitsuyaga Toushiro. Even with Momo he was not that person she wanted him to be, also Aizen in her mind in some ways or how he acted. 'Where are you Matsumoto?" he longed for her more then normal as the weeks had turned to fall around him and his time of work...

For a moment he could see her in his mind, laying there on the road in his office after a night of drinking away her memories or hanging with fiends like she always did. Her hair softly falling over the pillow, the moonlight dancing over her skin as it fell from the window, lips that he so longed to kiss curved in a smile. Those sublet cheeks that ended in a small and curved chin she often lay her hand softly on when staring at him with those eyes of hers. Even her nose was perfect in his view. Her body was portioned perfectly and her every movement was so much like feline her blade was named for.

Hitsuyaga was pulled away from his day dream for a moment with someone calling his name. "Hitsuyaga-taicho!"

Turning for a moment to meet one of the seats of the Eleventh; Ikkaku the 3rd seat. The fighter seemed a bit upset for some reason, his tone of voice was rushed and his harsh breathing made it seem as if he had been running. Very few things brought on this look with Ikkaku. The bald man seemed bewildered as his eyes locked on the captain of the tenth once more after leaning on his knees for a moment.

"What is it?" Hitsuyaga asked a bit coldly, more then he wanted to sound but his mind was on other things at the moment.

Ikkaku stood straight up for a moment, locking hard eyes with the Ice Wielder "Matsumoto is in the forth, they found her in the thirds court yard! Her wrist had been slit by her own doing, Sir! You need to hurry!"

He could only stare at the third seat of the eleven as if he had grown a second head with horns emerging from the skull. Why? Matsumoto would never do something like that or even think of it. Hitsuyaga felt surreal of as the words sank into his mind while his body froze on the stone walk way, leaves falling around him in the warm breeze that suddenly seemed so cold all of a sudden. Why? It didn't make any sense to his mind why she would try something as pointless as taking her own life...

Ikkaku could only wait for a moment while he too took in his message to the young man, shock so open it hurt to watch that handsome face change from one thought to their other. "Sir, you should head to the forth right away..." his voice was softer then normal, reaching out to the young man to get him to move on and head to were he was needed the most at this moment.

"Yes,Yes.." the tenth taicho voice was stone in the wind, his body blurring for a moment as he used the flash step known as shunpo to reach the forth in a matter of moments. His mind racing over and over of why she would do such a thing in the first place. Only one name came to his mind and her strange acting these pass months…