Chapter 5 – Morning A Loss
Jacob's POV
I phase back into a human, pulling my extra shorts on that I had tied to my leg, as I ran to Kaitlyn's side. My eyes snapped to Edward. "What did you do to her!" I demanded.
He was so calm, as always, "I did nothing to her, she lunged at me and then fell to the ground with a yelp. That's when she started bleeding and turned back into a human."
Kaitlyn looks up to me, I moved my eyes to meet hers, tears streaming down her face, "It hurts Jacob, make it stop." She pleaded to me.
"Ok, hang in there." I assured her, though I wasn't sure how to help her, but I had to do something... she was losing a lot of blood.
Sam had already phased back too, stepping through the trees to hand me a shirt for Kaitlyn. I lifted her up to dress her, then picked her up in my arms, holding her tightly to my chest. Sam looks to me, "Get her to the doctor, I'll smooth everything out with Edward." He says, giving Kaitlyn a loving smile. I nod and run as fast as my human legs could take me to the doctor's house. When we arrive outside the doctor's house, I knock on the door. He answers, seeing me and Kaitlyn covered in blood and rushes me inside. He eyes me over, making sure that I wasn't hurt. I follow him into the operating room as he calls for his wife. Dr. David and his wife, June, were the most understanding people you could ever know here in La Push. When Dr. David heard that the werewolves emerged again, a few years ago, he spent endless nights and days learning as much as he could about us, with June by his side, so he could properly care for us. He motioned for me to place Kaitlyn on the operating table. I hesitated to release my grip on her, afraid I wouldn't get to hold her again. June placed her hand on my shoulder, when I looked at her, she was nodding to me with a loving smile. With her encouragement, I placed Kaitlyn on the table and over Kaitlyn's screams of pain, Dr. David looks to me and starts to ask questions.
"Is she a werewolf?" He first asks me.
"Yes, but she's a little different than the rest of us and we're not sure just how different she is though." I answer, trying to be as honest as I could.
His eyes widen a tad, "Ok, then what happened?" He asks me.
"I don't actually know... I didn't see anything. I found her on the ground covered in blood, she was holding her lower stomach. For the past month or so, she's been throwing up, eating a lot, retaining water, and very moody... I had her take a pregnancy test, but it said she wasn't pregnant. The last couple of weeks, she's complained that her stomach hurt, but I though it was just sore from all the throwing up she did." I informed him.
Dr. David examined her lower region, then looked back at me, "Why didn't you bring her in sooner?" He asks.
I drop my head, ashamed that I hadn't, "She refused." I simply answered. "What's wrong with her?" I bring my head back up while asking my question.
"She's hemeraging." He tells me.
"She's what?" I asked, confused.
"She's bleeding to death, we have to stop the bleeding or she'll die." He explained so I could understand.
"Oh." I breath, too upset to say anything more. I reached out grabbing Kaitlyn's hand. It was my fault she was in so much pain, I should have brought her here sooner, made her come. June had left the room to return with an odd looking machine.
"What's that?" I asked the doctor, while eying the machine.
"It's called an ultrasound machine. This will let me see inside her stomach, to see what's causing her to loose so much blood." He answers while hooking the machine up and placing part of it on Kaitlyn's stomach.
Kaitlyn was still writhing in pain, trying to hold still so that Dr. David could get a good look. After a few minutes, Dr. David spoke up, "Uh huh! I found the problem!" He whispers into June's ear and then June rushes out of the room again.
I look at the doctor, "What's wrong?" I ask nervously.
He looks at me, serious written in his eyes, "Well, let's see if I can explain this... you see, you're girlfriend..." I cut him off briefly.
"Kaitlyn." I informed him.
"Yes, Kaitlyn was right, she is infertile. There is a lot of damage done to her fallopian tubes. However, she's wrong about not being able to have kids. She can still get pregnant, but the chances of that happening are very low. With that being said, she was in fact pregnant, but it was an ectopic pregnancy..." He could see more confusion settling in my features, "Meaning that the baby was stuck in her fallopian tube, growing there. With limited space in there, it grew too big, bursting her fallopian tube open, causing the bleeding and pain."
"But... the pregnancy test said she wasn't pregnant." I was still confused as I asked.
"Yes, that can happen with an ectopic pregnancy." He nods to this.
"So... what happened to the baby? What are you going to do now? Will Kaitlyn be ok?" I flooded him with a rush of questions.
"Jacob, slow down, this is not as bad as it seems, Kaitlyn will be fine. June's off preparing a tray for surgery, we have to go in and stop the bleeding. I suspect that one tube will have to be removed cause it's very damaged, but I won't know til I get in there. Kaitlyn will be knocked out and won't feel a thing. As for the baby..." His face turned sad and his eyes flashed to the floor as he continued, "Well, I'm sorry Jacob, she miscarried it. There's nothing we can do about that." He said in a low tone.
I could feel the tears swelling in my eyes. I felt June behind me, she hands Dr. David a tray and asks me to follow her. Kaitlyn looks up at me, crying now from the pain of losing our child that she thought she could never have in the first place. I bent down, kissing her forehead.
"I love you with all me heart." I tell her while looking in her eyes.
"Me too." Was all she managed to say through the pain and tears.
I exited the room to enter another room... the waiting room. June places her arms around me, hugging me, she speaks softly in my ear.
"I'm so sorry Jacob, but you now know she can get pregnant and with fertility drugs, you can try again." She pulls back with a supportive looks, breaking from the hug. "You'll have to wait here, I have to assist David. Once we're done, I'll come out and get you and you'll be able to see her again."
"Ok June. Thanks. I know you'll take good care of her." I tell her with a small smile that didn't touch my eyes. I take a seat in the waiting room and place my head against the wall. My eyes slide closed as I settle in to wait for the surgery to be done.
Forty-five minutes later...
I heard feet moving towards me, I open my eyes and look down the hallway, it was June and she was motioning me to follow her. I stood up walking behind her, following her to a different room. Kaitlyn laid there in the bed sleeping.
"She's fine..." June whispered to me, "But, David had to remove the one bad tube, it was too damaged to repair."
"Thanks a lot June." I said while never taking my eyes off Kaitlyn.
"You're welcome honey, I'll leave you two alone." She said while patting my back and then closing the door as she exited.
I walked up and sat in the chair beside the bed. She looked so peaceful while she laid there sleeping. I slide her hand into mine, dropping my head as a few tears escaped my eyes. It was all my fault... all of this was. If I had just forced her to see the doctor, then she'd have not been in so much pain... maybe they could have even saved the baby, though by the sound of things, I could be wrong. Also, if I had just told Bella to leave, then Kaitlyn wouldn't have gotten so mad, I heard Sam thinking about Emily taking Kaitlyn to see Dr. David in the morning... if Kaitlyn hadn't gotten so upset and pushed her body, then she would have been fine, not had much pain. I started sobbing to myself when I heard Kaitlyn's voice.
"No Jacob, don't blame yourself." Her grip got tight on my hand, "I'm sorry I acted that way, with you and with Bella... I got insecure... fear hit me and I was so afraid I'd lose you. I didn't realize that I was the one pushing you away." A tear rolled down her cheek and I leaned in to kiss it away. As I did this, she continued, "You were right and I should have listened to you..." I cut her off while climbing in the bed beside her.
"Don't do this to yourself, not now..." I wrap my arms around her, holding her tightly, "We're both young and stupid, we let our emotions override the fact that nothing will ever tears us apart. I meant what I said, even in death, I'll still be yours... only yours." I tell her while leaning my face closer to hers. I softly, passionately kiss her, the contact lets me see all the love she really does have for me. This makes my kiss more demanding, more loving. I break from the kiss as I hear the door open. As Sam and Paul enter the room, I regain my seat in the chair beside the bed.
"Can we come in?" Sam whispers.
"Sure, sure." I grin a little at him.
Kaitlyn looks to Paul, pleased that he came. "Hi guys." She greets them with a smile. In a few steps, the were both standing beside me, staring at Kaitlyn. Sam looked like he had been crying, but it was Paul who looked the worst.
"Are you ok?" Paul asked, you could hear the worry in his voice.
"Yes, I'm fine, but..." Kaitlyn paused to look at me, then back at Paul, "I was pregnant and I lost he baby." She informs them, sadness in her eyes.
Sam places a hand on my shoulder, patting it a few times and Paul reaches for Kaitlyn's hand, holding it in his, and rubbing the back of her hand with his thumb. It was so quiet, like everyone was holding their breath, then the door opens again... breaking the silence. Jared, Quil, Billy, Seth, Leah, Sue, and Charlie enter the room now. Seth was the first to ask, "She doing ok Jake?"
I nodded my head, Seth and Quil let out a relieved sigh at the same time. Billy wheeled his was over to me, grabbing my shoulder and whispering in my ear. After he finished, I look at Kaitlyn... knowing she already read Billy's mind, she nods and smiles at me, I nod looking at Charlie.
"Alright, come on guys, let's go in the waiting room." Billy instructs. Everyone formed a line, hugging first Kaitlyn, then me on their way out to the waiting room. When everyone was gone, the door opened again and Bella's head peeked around the door. I motioned for her to enter, she pushes the door open, walking in followed by Edward. Sam had granted him permission to cross over into La Push cause him and Bella were worried about Kaitlyn and me. Edward stood beside me looking at Kaitlyn.
"How is she?" He asks. It was a pointless question, I knew that he already knew everything, he was just being friendly... showing compassion, I guess.
"She's fine Edward, thanks... look, I'm sorry I rushed to blame you..." I started to say when he moved his hand to my shoulder and it cut me off.
"If it were Bella, I would be rushed to come to the same conclusion as you did Jacob, no need to apologize. I should be the one to apologize to you..." Confusion washed over my face as I stared up at him, "You see, I never had any intension of fighting her, but I wanted to meet her, to try and calm her down also. I thought that if she met someone else that could read minds, then maybe she would listen to them... relate to them better. I intensionally pulled her to meet me, expecting a fight. I fear that if she hadn't been in so much pain, she would have attacked me and the end result would not have been good for either of us. I'm sorry Jacob, for not taking your warning seriously."
The expression on his face stressed that he was truly sorry, "No problem, I have a feeling everything will turn out just fine, thanks Edward." I say to him with a smile, then we both turn our attention to Bella and Kaitlyn.
"How are you feeling?" Bella asks while holding Kaitlyn's hand.
"I'm fine, no pain, so that's a good sign." Kaitlyn says while smiling.
"Do you need anything?" Bella asks.
"No thanks, I have everything I need already." Kaitlyn says while glancing at me, then back to Bella. "I do want to tell you that I'm sorry for the way I acted. I hope you can forgive me and that we could start over... maybe become friends, if you don't mind." Kaitlyn told Bella with sad eyes, but still smiled at her.
"Sure, I'd love that! Apology accepted." Bella said with enthusiasm. "Well, we're going to let you rest, we just wanted to make sure you and Jake were ok." She added, releasing Kaitlyn's hand to tug at Edward while inching to the door.
"I know, bye guys." Kaitlyn said, I just gave them a little smile and a wave as they exited. Kaitlyn looked at me with a frown, "Bella's crying for our loss now." She informed me.
I let out a small sigh as Kaitlyn grabbed my hand. I looked at her, she looked in pain, "Are you ok? Need something? I'll get June..." I said as I stood up quickly to go get June, but Kaitlyn stopped me.
"No, I'm ok, no pain... just heartache..." She says while looking down, lightly rubbing her hand across her stomach, "You really wanted that child, didn't you?" She asks.
"You already know my answer." I tell her.
"Yeah, I do and I know you want to try again... but Jake, I'm not sure if I want to." She stopped rubbing her stomach and looked away from me, "I know you want a family Jacob, but I'm so afraid I'll be going through all this again or I'll never be able to get pregnant again."
"What? And you're afraid I'll leave you?" I guessed.
"Well, yeah." She says looking back at me.
"Babe, god himself couldn't make me leave you, so if you decide you don't want to try and have kids with me, I'll understand. I'll stand by you cause all I want is your happiness." I explained.
"But that's just it, you won't be happy." She says in a sad tone.
"Pft... I"ll have you, that's all I need to ever be happy." I flash her a big cheesy grin and she giggles at me. "I'm going to go talk to everyone, you get some sleep." She nods and I briefly kiss her lips before leaving the room. When I enter the waiting room, more people had shown up, I saw Quil's mom, Paul's mom, Emily, Embry, Collin, and Brady. Mostly everyone's eyes looked red and puffy... I guess they were all morning our loss. Edward was outside with Bella, he looked like he would have cried too if he could cry and he was hugging Bella, who was crying into his chest.
"Well everyone..." I announced to get everyone's attention, "Kaitlyn's fine, as you might already know, she was pregnant and the baby was growing in her tube... or whatever... and it broke her tube causing her to bleed a lot and she lost the baby. I left her to rest, she need her sleep, but thank you for showing us support and umm... I have to get out of here..."
I take off around the back of the huge house, when I was out of sighs, I break down... letting all my anger and sadness out. After knocking a few trees down and crying so much my eyes burned, I felt a pair of arms embrace me.
"Jake, calm down... every thing's fine now." I heard Emily's voice way.
"I know, Em... but... but... the baby..." I turn to her and bury my face in her shoulder, crying. I could now feel Sam standing behind Emily, but I was too ashamed of my moment of weakness to look at him. Sam spoke up after a few minutes.
"I know how you're feeling Jake, it's ok to cry... hell I cried like a baby the night Emily was in the hospital." He let out a little chuckle, though I knew it was for my comfort.
I can't even begin to imagine how Sam must have felt, it was different for him, he was the one that put Emily in the hospital. It was back when he first started phasing, unsure of what was going on, Emily got too close to him when he turned and he attacked her, mutilating the side of her face and her arm. Sam still isn't over the accident, you can see it in his eyes every time he looks at her... even though Emily never blamed him or lost any love for him cause of it.
"Emily spoke up, "June told us that Kaitlyn will be released tomorrow, so why don't you and I head back to the house and Sam will stay here with Kaitlyn?"
I nodded at Emily, then look at Sam, then back to Emily, "Do you think we could hold a funeral... if it's not too much to ask?" I asked them both.
"Of course." Emily said.
"No problem at all Jake, I'll let everyone know and bring Kaitlyn to the house in the morning." Sam said.
With that, Sam headed back inside and Emily walks with me to her house. When we walk through the door, she shows me to a room and suggests that I needed to sleep myself. I didn't protest, I was beat and needed to lay down. Emily closed the door as she left me alone, I laid on the bed, before I knew it... sleep invaded me. I must have slept all night, I was awakened by a familiar giggle and day light hinted at a new day through the window. I jumped up out of bed, stretching as a yawn escaped my mouth. I opened the door and exited the room to see Kaitlyn's smiling face.
"'Morning sleepy head." She greeted me with a smile.
"'Morning honey, how are you feeling today?" I asked, though she looked a lot better already.
"I feel fantastic, I'm still a little sore, but my incision is almost fully healed up." She said while pulling her shirt up to show me. "Dr. David says that I'm to take it easy for the next two day and then I should be find. He gave me a stern warning to not phase til my two days are up." He grins at me.
"Emily looks at me, "People will be at the La Push graveyard in a couple hours, hurry up and get ready." She rushes me to the bathroom, throwing a suit of clothes at me. I showered and got dressed, when exiting the bathroom, I heard someone outside hammering. I move to the window, looking out it to see Sam and Paul putting the finishing touches on the smallest casket I'd ever seen. Paul was putting some neutral gender baby items into it as Sam nailed the top on. Then Sam picked up a paint brush and carefully painted 'R.I.P Black/Uley Baby' on the lid with black paint. I glanced to the side of the yard and I spotted a wooden cross with the same black words painted on it. I watched them as the loaded the last few things into my old rabbit and them Emily rushed us out the door.
We got to the graveyard as other's started to arrive. I helped Sam and Paul unload everything, Emily must have picked her whole garden of flowers, she made several arrangement, including a small spread for the casket. By the time the service started, everyone in La Push was there, even a few people from Forks too, including the Cullen's. I was pleased that Sam allowed all the blood-suckers to come, showed they really did have a heart... even if it wasn't beating. I watched them as each one walked to the casket to pay their respects, then placed a single black rose on top of the casket. It was so touching that Kaitlyn started to sob. I leaned over and hugged her tightly as the service began. It lasted about thirty-five minutes. Then as the started to bury the casket, everyone made their way to me and Kaitlyn to offer they sympathy... this took another hour. The Cullen's were the last to see me and Kaitlyn and Bella was with them. They really were remarkable and I was grateful that vampires like them existed. When everyone let, Sam was waiting in the car for me and Kaitlyn. The pack was back at the house with Emily, including Billy, Emily was making a feast for us. We piled in the rabbit and drove back to Sam's. When we exited the car, the scent of Emily's wonderful cooking hit our noses and lured us in the house. After everyone ate, we all sat around and told stories and jokes. We all enjoyed ourselves and I was happy that my whole family was here... even if one person was missing.