Courtship - Chapter Six: "Casualties on the Battlefield"

An Ouran High School Host Club fan-fiction

By: Saadia Mirage

Pairing: Tamaki/Haruhi

Rating: PG-13

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Disclaimer: I do not own Ouran High School Host Club or any of it's characters. They belong to the original mangaka Bisco Hatori and Studio Bones. This is a fan story, for amusement purposes only.

Author's note: Yup, here comes the drama bomb... Hope we all survive! I really wanted to publish this chapter and the next one together since this one in particular turned out to be such a downer. Don't worry too much, though. I'm not a "sad ending" kind of gal. Also I'd like to note that I completely made up Renge's friends (fellow host club attendees/fangirls and doujinka) at the end of the chapter. They're not canon, but I thought them quite appropriate. :)

Enjoy!

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Later that evening, Haruhi could only ignore the ringing of the phone for so long. Her father was working the late shift so she was home alone. Why had she given Tamaki her number again? Oh yeah, the whole 'dating' thing. She picked it up and answered it, trying not to sound as irritable as she was suddenly feeling.

"Hello, Fujioka residence."

"Hey, it's me." He answered, all ready sounding apologetic.

She felt her nerves soften a little. "...Hi."

"Are you okay?" He asked gently.

She frowned at the question, a little confused at her earlier actions. "I.. I'm fine. I'm really sorry I had to run off like that earlier. I just lost track of time, I guess." She mumbled.

"It's okay," He said, "You just seemed kind of... upset. I was worried."

"Why would I be upset? Everything's fine, right?" She tried to say casually, but feared her rather frayed nerves had made her voice a little thinner than usual.

"I hope so." He said, a little incredulously.

"It is with me. Are you all right?"

"Haruhi..." He said softly, then paused a moment before continuing, "I... I really like you."

She swallowed, then switched the phone to the other hand. "Y-yeah, I know."

"I can't stop thinking about you." He said, voice sweet and sincere.

She sighed. "Don't... don't start all that. It's exhausting."

"I'm sorry. But I can't help it. You..."

"I'm nothing special." She mumbled.

"But you are!"

"I'm not!" She said, a little too sharply. Then suddenly it all came pouring out: "You just think so because I'm not like those girls that come to the club. I'm a spectacle because I'm a "commoner" and drink instant coffee and shop at 100 yen stores and eat leftovers for lunch."

"That... that's really not it."

"Yes it is. That's the only reason you're obsessed with me. I'm different. I'm new. I'm interesting because I'm not what you know. I don't fall for your slimy host act." She said, but she thought, startled at herself in her heart: 'I did fall for it. I fell for it. I didn't mean to!'

His voice was soft, sounding a little hurt. "Do you really... think I'm like that?"

"You... you're just a spoiled brat." She said, voice shaking. Why was she suddenly crying? Why was she so scared? It was like a thunderstorm was building up outside and she had nowhere to hide.

"I don't care about any of that... I really don't." He was saying, "I don't even care if the whole world abandons me, if I am disowned or have to live in a gutter poor and penniless if it meant I could be with you..."

"You can say stuff like that only 'cause it will never happen." She scoffed.

"Haruhi. I love you."

For a moment, she couldn't breathe. Then, when she was finally able to speak, she found herself choking up. "... Don't you know you're not supposed to say that sort of stuff for the first time over the phone?" She sobbed.

"...You're right."

Suddenly the other line went dead. She took the phone away from her ear and stared at it in horror, the dull sound of the dial tone mocking her.

"Damn it." She grumbled, wiping her eyes.

A matter of minutes later she found herself answering the door to find him standing there, fighting for breath, with an huge armful of roses.

"Ha-Haruhi!" He gasped.

She frowned, having prepared herself for something like this. "I didn't mean you had to come out here now! It's nearly midnight!" She scolded.

"The florist wasn't open so I picked these from our garden." He said, handing them to her.

"You what? Oh..!" She said, startled. With all the flowers in her arms she couldn't see around them. "What am I supposed to do with all these?" She asked, exasperated.

She ended up putting most of them in the sink, and taking half a dozen and putting them in a vase. Without saying anything, Tamaki took one and set it in front of her mother's altar. She noticed his hands, now clasped in prayer, were covered in tiny cuts.

She crossed her arms and sighed. Hand picking roses and praying for her mother... It was when he did things like that she couldn't stay mad at him for long. He opened his eyes and her stomach did a tiny flip-flop. This was getting dangerous.

"I'm sorry for coming so suddenly," He said, standing up from where he had been kneeling. "What you said on the phone... You're right. There are some things that need to be said in person."

"Please don't." She sighed, looking away nervously.

"Ignoring it won't make it go away." He said, voice even.

She reddened. "I know that!"

"So... why?"

"I... I just don't know how to handle all this. It... it's too much."

"I don't want anything from you Haruhi... You don't have to be scared."

She just stared at him thinking, 'You're asking for everything.'

"I'm not asking you to do anything... I'm not even asking you to say it back, if you don't want to. I just... I really want to say it. I've never felt like this before... and... It feels really good!"

His smile... It could have broken a thousand hearts. If any of the host club regulars knew what he had just said, it might have.

"You... You really are a selfish bastard."

"I... don't cry, Haruhi!"

"I'm not! I... I'm not..."

His arms were around her and he kissed her again and it was so much more wonderful than she would ever admit.

"I love you." He said softly.

She could only stare at him, eyes frustratingly red and throat tight.

He hugged her again. "I'll leave now so you can get some rest. Just think about it. I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"

She nodded slowly, all ready dreading going to the club the next day. "Okay." She said, voice uncomfortably small.

Then he left and she had trouble sleeping.

—-

Unlike most girls who have just been the object of a love confession, Haruhi spent the entire next morning and afternoon worrying about it. She didn't feel the elation or utter joy she had heard came along with such an event. Instead she felt like she was perched dangerously above a precipice, looking down into the abyss. For maybe the second time in her life she felt completely, totally, overwhelmed and lost. The first time was the day when she and her father stood outside the crematorium and watched the smoke slowly rising from the chimney and up into the sky. Need and emotion and doubt were welling up in her again and she didn't know how to deal with it.

Love, she realized, was terrifying.

By the time the normal school day was over, she had come to a decision. Before the host club meeting began, she asked Tamaki to speak with her privately on the balcony. He followed her eagerly, like a puppy.

"Senpai..." She began, softly.

"You don't have to call me that anymore, not when we're alone." He said, smiling his brilliant smile. "You know that."

She fumbled with the hem of her blazer, unable to meet his eyes. "Ah... well... Tamaki..."

He was grinning now. "Yes? What is it?"

"I..."

Here it comes, he thought. All his hard work this last few weeks, all his planning, effort, and heartache, they were finally going to pay off! A real love confession from Haruhi!

"I... I don't think we should see each other anymore." She mumbled finally.

He stared at her, still grinning. "What? I don't think I heard you right."

She frowned up at him for a moment then sighed, looking away. "I'm sorry. I just don't think it's going to work out."

His smile dropped like a rock, but in his shock he was still somehow able to speak. "Wh-what are you talking about, Haruhi?"

She was avoiding looking at him again. "Like I said..." She continued voice soft, "I think we should break up. I need to focus on my studies if I want to keep my scholarship, and... And I just don't think I'm ready for a serious relationship right now. Plus, there's the club. Shouldn't you be focusing on those girls?"

He gaped at her. "B... But... You... We... Just..." He felt his breath hitching in his throat.

She ventured a glance up at him and was instantly sorry she did so. The look on his face... So that's what real heartbreak looked like.

She felt something in her breaking a little, too.

"I'm... I'm sorry." She mumbled weakly. Then she ran.

She ran back into the clubroom, past Kyouya's raised eyebrows, and then out into the hallway and didn't stop running even when Hikaru and Kaoru called out to her.

The rest of the host club members stared at each other for a moment. One could almost feel the ellipsis forming in the air.

Kyouya stood up from where he sat in front of his laptop and adjusted his glasses. "I think… we should cancel the club meeting today."

"Ehhhhh?!" Honey whined, oblivious. "Why? What happened? Where did Haru-chan go?!"

Kyouya sighed. "Just trust me on this one."

"B-but…" Hikaru started starting for the door to the hallway, but his brother caught his arm. Hikaru gave him a questioning look but Kaoru just shook his head solemnly.

"Put out the 'event cancelled' notice will you, Morinozuka-kun?" Kyouya asked.

Mori nodded.

With that, Kyouya excused himself and made a beeline for the door to the outside area.

Tamaki was still there, standing in the middle of the balcony looking shell-shocked. Kyouya approached him slowly.

"Tamaki…" He said softly.

The blond lurched forward into him, tears springing to his eyes. "Kyouya..." He said, clutching at his friend's arms. "She... She...!"

"I know." He said, voice unusually soft.

Tamaki was blubbering now, nearly incoherent. "Why... Why did... I thought everything was going so well... She even kissed me! Just yesterday, she kissed me and ... And..."

Kyoya sighed. "You should know by now that women are fickle creatures."

"B-but... Kyouya... She... I ... I really...."

"I know."

He buried his face in the other boy's shirt, crumpling against him. Slowly, Kyouya put his arms around him.

Tamaki sobbed openly and miserably for nearly an hour.

Kyouya just held him, but all the while the wheels were turning in his head.

—-

The next day, Tamaki was absent and it seemed like there wasn't a single person at the school who didn't notice. Tamaki Suoh wasn't someone who just played hooky on a whim. In his entire time at Ouran High he had never missed a class. The boy was as healthy as a well-bred Andalusian and had never even taken a sick day before. Nearly everyone persisted in skepticism even when Kyouya told them that he had just caught the flu (which was, after all, a terrible lie). Rumors were flying left and right as to what exactly had caused him enough distress to make him miss school, but thankfully no one had hit anywhere near the ballpark of the truth. For that, at least, Haruhi was thankful.

Mostly, though, she felt miserable. Haruhi, having never been heart-broken before, didn't realize that it was a state that could be self-induced. She was annoyed at Tamaki for being so melodramatic, but she still felt guilty. She hated that she felt guilty. They had to cancel another host club meeting because of Tamaki's absence and she was SURE Kyouya was going to have it out with her about that soon enough but right now it seemed he had settled on giving her the silent treatment. When she came in, he just gave her a long, cool look and began talking to the rest of the hosts like she wasn't there. Instead of having a regular meeting with the girls in attendance the six of them tried to have a rare organizational meeting to discuss the upcoming special event of the month. This month they were, by popular demand, going to put on a masquerade ball. None of the hosts, however, seemed very enthusiastic about the idea at the moment. Without Tamaki around to insert his normal lunacy and dedication, the meeting seemed dull and pointless.

All throughout the discussion (which was mostly Kyouya dryly going over budgeting details) Hikaru kept giving her the curious look he had been giving her all day during class. He kept almost speaking to her but in the end he couldn't seem to string a sentence together properly. She was a bit thankful for that, honestly. Kaoru just smiled at her sympathetically, which was almost worse. Honey seemed conflicted. He kept staring at her with huge, watery eyes and eventually he tried to sneak her a large slice of cake as if he was sending supplies across the border to an enemy nation. When it was time to head home, Mori paused in front of her, face unreadable, but he plopped a big hand down on her head and patted her gently as if in consolation.

She tried to give him a reassuring "really, everything is okay" kind of smile, but it felt paper-thin and she was pretty sure everyone noticed.

She couldn't bear heading home quite yet and dealing once again with her father and his demanding questions (where did all these roses come from and why are your eyes puffy and are you sure you're all right you never burn dinner?) so she found herself hanging around the club room after everyone else had left. She sighed and leaned against the wall as she looked out the big bay windows over the school gardens.

A shadow suddenly fell over her and she felt a chill go down her spine. She whipped around and found Kyouya standing behind her.

"Oh, it's just you senpai." She said, swallowing nervously.

"Hn." He muttered.

She turned back to look out the window, braving putting her back to him again. "I guess you're going to tell me how all this is ruining the host club revenue or something." She said, trying to sound cheerfully sarcastic, but it rung hollow.

"…You're wrong."

She turned back and blinked at him, surprised at his relaxed tone. He didn't sound mad at all.

He smiled at her easily. "The Host Club will recover. You'll finish repaying your debt soon enough – a lot quicker than I had anticipated. Tamaki will get over you, eventually. Or he'll cover it all up with a smile like he always does. He'll always get customers. Don't think his mooning after you changed any of that. Once your debt is paid you can go back to your precious studies without any guilt at all."

Somehow his casual, matter-of-fact tone hit her harder than it would have if he had spoken coldly.

"You were just a diversion to him, anyway." He continued, but now with a little edge to his voice. "Something a little different. He would have gotten bored with you soon enough, so maybe it's better that you ended it like this. Certainly made it easier on yourself, at least."

"It wasn't like that! And it wasn't easy at all." She said, her own voice rather cold. "I know it wasn't just a diversion... but I never thought... I didn't think breaking up would hurt him like that."

"Hmm. Maybe you just didn't think? Or maybe you did. Maybe the thought scared you. The thought that maybe, somehow, he might expect you to love him back someday. Amazing." He said, and even laughed.

"S-stop it." She muttered, "I was just... Giving him a little attention, that's all. He was the one who took it seriously. He was the one who was so selfish and assumed...!"

He raised an eyebrow at her. "Selfish? Tamaki? Really?" He said cooly. "I wonder who really is being so selfish about all this..."

"If you're so worried about him, why don't you date him!?" She shouted.

She was surprised at her own immature outburst, and even more surprised at the shock on Kyouya's face. For just a moment his eyes were wide and they held... a bit of resentment?

She stared at him and he stared back.

He reached up and adjusted his glasses. When he spoke, his voice was still relaxed, but the air had changed. "You should probably know that he really does love you. He doesn't give that out as freely as you might think."

With that, he strode out of the room and into the hall.

She stared at the door for a moment after he left, feeling sick to her stomach again.

"Kyouya-sempai... I'm sorry." She said softly to the empty room.

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Renge and her friends were all gathered at her house that afternoon due to the host club being closed. They were sitting in the blue parlor on the blue silk couches her mother had imported from Paris and using the fine bone China her father had given to her last month when she had mentioned, off-hand, that she might want to have some girlfriends over sometime. In his excitement that his precious daughter was finally out and spending time with "real friends" instead of her video games he had bought her an entire line of tea party accessories from some big name designer. This was the first time she was able to use them. Sadly, she would have rather been at the host club. She had been desperately keeping Haruhi and Tamaki's relationship a secret for weeks and she just KNEW whatever had happened yesterday and Tamaki's absence today had something to do with it. It was taking every ounce of her self-control not to break out her spinning platform and megaphone and shout her findings and suspicions to the world.

…But then she thought of the look on Haruhi's poor face this morning when she saw him in the hall and her firery spirit sank back into the ashes. Poor Haruhi. She would keep his secret locked in her heart and protect him from all the heartless gossip in his time of heartbreak. She was determined to be his champion of love.

…But while Renge was keeping her mouth shut, the other girls were chittering like magpies.

"I heard that it was an older woman!" Aya was saying carelessly. "She broke poor Tamaki-sama's heart in two."

"That's terrible! What sort of cruel, ignorant woman would deny Tamaki-sama?" Michiko wondered.

"A heartless beauty, I bet." Nanami supplied.

"You would think he would have learned his lesson after Eclair." Yoko said conspiratorially, sipping her tea.

"Yoko, you know that name is forbidden here!" Aya scolded.

"Oops! I'm sorry!"

"A heartless beauty… Who could it be, though?" Nanami said thoughtfully. "I don't know anyone like that, unless you count Ayanokouji and certainly she would have nothing to do with the host club, much less Tamaki-sama, after that incident where she tried to get Haruhi-kun in trouble."

"Certainly it couldn't be some girl at our school. We would have heard about that, don't you think?" Aya said.

"Well, of course. Renge-chan would know about that and would have told us!" Yoko insisted, leaning back against the soft upholstery.

"Of c-course I would." Renge said, nearly choking on her tea. She hoped they didn't notice the faint stutter in her voice.

Nanami sighed. "Where would he meet an older woman, anyway? Do you know where he goes on the weekends?"

"I'm surprised he never seems to be at any of the garden parties. He must go somewhere on the weekends!" Aya said, nibbling delicately at her fruit tart.

"None of the host club members will talk." Yoko pouted, "They all change the subject when we try to ask about it."

"I do hope Tamaki-sama will be all right." Aya reflected.

Renge sighed and nodded glumly. "And Haruhi-kun."

The girls stopped in mid-sip and started at her, eyes widening."… Haruhi-kun? What's the matter with Haruhi-kun?" Aya asked slowly, raising an eyebrow.

"Eh?" Renge chirped, startled. She hadn't meant to mention poor Haruhi at all! Now the girls had definitely caught the scent! "Oh ah… Nothing!" She stuttered, "He just seems down as well, don't you think?"

Aya frowned at her seriously, but nodded in agreement. "He did seem a little down when I saw him at lunch. I would think all the other hosts are a bit lonely without Tamaki-sama's leadership."

"And Haruhi-kun must be in pain to see poor Tamaki-sama's broken heart." Nanami cooed, "They are so close, after all. Like a father and son, even!"

One of the girls sat up straight suddenly. "What… What if…"

"What is it Michiko? What?"

Renge felt her heart skip a beat.

"Oh, it's just a silly notion…"

"Oh come on, Michi! Tell us what you think!" The other girls hounded.

Michiko was blushing furiously, her hands on her cheeks. "Well… You don't think that… Tamaki-sama and Haruhi-kun… Well, you know…?"

The girls just sat and stared at her for a moment with wide eyes. Renge tried not to choke on her tea again.

Then the rest of the girls began to giggle. "Oh Michi! That would be splendid, wouldn't it?!"

"It's just a silly idea, though…" She mumbled, "But… Wow. Wouldn't that be lovely?"

"I never thought about it like that!" Nanami said, in wonder.

"Tamaki-sama is too much of a ladies' man for that, don't you think?" Aya said skeptically.

"Oh, but it would make a beautiful heart-breaking story, don't you think Renge-chan?" Nanami said dreamily.

"Ah… Uhmmm... It would make a great doujinshi…?" She offered hesitantly.

"Oh that's perfect, Renge-chan! We'll get to work on it immediately!"

"Oh the title, the title! I have a great idea!"

"Aya get out your sketchbook at once!"

'Well,' Renge thought, 'Damn.'

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To be continued...