Special thanks to Drakkenfyre for beta reading for me! Hope you enjoy and thanks for the reviews! The updates will be coming faster now, I promise! Thanks for sticking with me!
Disclaimer: I don't own them Ron Moore and Sci-fi do.
Laura didn't understand why she had to stay over night in the Life Station. Six stitches didn't seem like that many to her. In the Life Station, the dreams were always worse. Something about the hospital environment made the images clearer and more inexplicable.
The dream started the same. The bright unnatural light in the opera house made the walls glow. She was chasing Hera, running along the soft red carpet. Across the open balcony she watched Sharon run in the same direction. The dream was always speaking, always telling her, get Hera, find Hera, keep Hera safe. Grabbing onto the railing, Laura ran down the stairs and came to a dead stop. There, in the center of the large open lobby, stood Hera. Laura drew her head from side to side but she didn't see Six or Sharon anywhere.
Get Hera, keep Hera safe. Intending to do exactly what the dream kept telling her, Laura stepped forward.
One step.
Hera smiled as Laura got closer.
Two steps.
The chill running down Laura's back made her pause. Something wasn't right.
Hera was standing right in front of her now. Laura reached out her hand. A smoky dark shadow erupted out of the bright light, and Laura snapped her hand back. She knew his face. Hera seemed to recognize him too. He clasped his hands and with his eyes dared Roslin to reach past him.
From up above on the balcony Laura saw Six and Sharon peer down, panic on their faces. After a moment they disappeared and she was on her own. Why didn't they come to help her? In her heart she fought against the feeling that she needed to call for their help. She would never, never allow herself to trust a cylon.
"Go ahead," the man said gently, almost pleasantly.
He was taunting her as the edges of his body turned to black smoke and lifted to the ceiling. This was Laura's nightmare. What would he do to her in the dream if she reached for the child? He had already shattered her waking life, now was he trying to shatter her dream as well? Or, was he really even there? Was he her imagination?
Laura watched as Hera lifted her tiny fingers and walked toward the man.
"Hera no!" Laura yelled but the girl didn't listen.
Six and Sharon appeared in the doorway but Laura still refused to call for their help.
Hera's hand reached out from just behind the smoky apparition. Laura sensed Hera was trying to tell her something. With determination she stepped forward and reached out to the girl. Get Hera, protect Hera, follow Hera.
The smoke swirled around them as Laura's hand drew closer to the child's. They seemed to be reaching through the essence of the man and he was powerless to stop it. Laura was suddenly struck with understanding. Hera was doing this. Hera was doing all of this on purpose. The dream, the opera house, the running.
From the doorway, Six and Sharon remained motionless. They exchanged a glance as if they wanted to help but couldn't. Laura continued to extend her hand. Hera wasn't running…she never had been. She was leading Laura to Six and Sharon.
Ask help, protect Hera, the dream told her. By why?
Just as their fingers touched more shadows jumped from the edges of the man's form. They grew black and lifted to the sky, cutting Laura off from Hera. The girl screamed as shadows swept her up. The black darkness sped toward the doorway and wrapped around Six and Sharon. They struggled but couldn't fight off the attack. The man laughed and reached for Laura's neck.
Laura snapped awake. She took a few deep breaths, and was grateful for the pain in her shoulder, letting her know she was both alive and out of the dream. How could she ever tell Bill what she herself didn't understand?
The next morning Laura learned most of the civilians had returned to Colonial One, including Tory. Roslin was anxious to get back to her ship. The last three days on Galactica were three she would rather forget. To think, it all started the morning she ripped her pants.
Her favorite pants.
The stack of paperwork Tory brought a few hours ago was done, and Laura had nothing better to do than mourn the loss of her pants. Until Dr. Cottle gave her permission to leave, she was stuck. She reached for the morning paper and forced aside the swell of anger she felt toward Bill for confiscating her book. A spasm of pain shot through her shoulder and she reminded herself not to move too much for the next few days. Physical pain was always such a nuisance. Switching hands she unfolded the paper and gawked at the front page.
A picture of Gaius Baltar stared at her and the headline informed her, Baltar Innocent in Presidential Attack. Laura sputtered when she read the word 'innocent.' Baltar was many things but innocent was certainly not one of them. Not guilty doesn't mean innocent… Bill had once said. Laura crumbled the paper and tossed in on the floor. In the sanctuary of Cottle's lair, that action was the only form of revenge available to her.
"How are you feeling this morning?" Cottle asked, as his form appeared from behind the curtain.
He looked down at the paper, and then gave her that Cottle-knows-best perusal when his eyes met hers.
"Just fine. When can I go?" She responded.
Her answered sounded a little childish even to her ears.
"You're always in a hurry to get out of here. I might take that personally, you know," Cottle replied, a smile very nearly cracking his aged face.
She smirked but let Cottle's rare teasing lighten her mood.
"You can go," he finally relented.
Laura hopped down from the bed and started gathering the loose papers. With any luck she could sneak away without Bill even knowing she was gone.
"Oh, and you have a visitor," Cottle said and stepped away.
Bill appeared where Cottle had just been standing.
Laura's shoulders tensed, much to her discomfort. As he left, Laura thought she over heard Cottle mumble something about them at least being in the Life Station should things get ugly. No massive head wounds were likely to occur, Laura mused, as long as Baltar stayed very, very far away.
"Admiral," Laura said, adjusting her glasses.
Bill inched a few steps toward her, closing the distance between them. She hoped he realized just how close to slapping him she was. Maybe head wounds were a possibility after all…
"Samantha Kay is being sentenced as we speak," Bill said causally.
"And Baltar?" She asked quickly, her voice clipped.
She bent over to gather the rest of the paperwork listening as she worked. When she got no response from Bill she looked up and saw a stone wall, also known as Bill's face.
"I talked to the cylon in the brig," he said after a long pause.
Laura straightened herself, folded her arms and briefly looked down to compose herself before she entered into the battle of wills with the Admiral. All she could mange to think about was how unfair he was to accuse her of seeing the cylon, when he went without asking her first.
"I see," she said, in the coldest tone she could find.
From the momentary drop of the Admiral's frown she figured it must have been pretty cold.
"She rescued you on New Caprica," Bill said, trailing off as if he expected her to elaborate.
Like hell she was going to give him any explanation.
"I don't remember much about it," she dodged.
He maintained eye contact for a long time. Neither one of them back down. Laura knew, with as angry as she was at Baltar, the assassination attempt, Bill's slimy way of putting the decision of a relationship back on her, there was no way she would let him win this one.
"She seems to think your connection, and your reluctance to talk about what happened comes from something the cylons said," Bill continued.
He stepped a little closer and folded his hands in front of him. The habit got on her nerves. He was taking his all knowing minister stance, arms clasped, brow furrowed in wisdom, ready to pronounce judgment on her.
"Enlighten me," she cooed, choosing her words deliberately.
"This is about you choosing not to have children," Bill replied.
Only a few times in her life had Laura ever been stunned to the point all coherent thought vanished. All her effort went into not staggering backwards with her mouth dropped in disbelief. After the disorganization of thought came anger. Bill Adama dared to be so presumptuous, pronouncing judgment from his lofty high horse.
"I don't believe it…" Roslin tried to finish the sentence but her utter disgust and shock made her fail.
She laughed at the sheer ignorance of Bill's words.
"First of all, that is none of your damn business," she spat, remembering how only a few days ago she had said the exact same thing to Tom Zarek.
"Secondly, what the hell does it matter to you or the cylon?" She asked.
After the words were out she knew they were the wrong ones. She knew exactly what it mattered to Bill but she hoped he wouldn't go into all that right now.
"The cylon thinks it has to do with your dreams. I think it's important because it obviously upsets you a great deal," Bill answered.
Damn him for pointing out the obvious. So what if the subject did upset her? Is the president not allowed to have one sore spot in her life? Is she expected to be a perfect model of hope and goodness and faith every second of every day? After what she had been through was it any wonder the subject upset her? Couldn't Bill understand the magnitude of what he asked? She couldn't quite comprehend it herself.
"I wonder that you can ask me questions like this. Have I ever pressed you about your ex-wife, or Zak, or your relationship with Lee? Have I ever told you we couldn't be together unless you confessed all your sins and secrets?" Laura paused before continuing with the thought as her voice wavered like a climbing flame. She forced the emotions back down and lowered her voice.
"I want a partner Bill, not a priest," she scolded mercilessly.
"We all have baggage Laura," he began, his tone gentle.
She was surprised, after the insults she flung, he wasn't hostile.
"The thing is, all of us get to air ours every once in a while. It's not pretty but it helps us deal with life. You're the president…and more. The people look to you in a way they never did before New Caprica; in a way they don't look to the rest of us. They call you prophet, teacher, president, and survivor. You can't air your baggage to anyone without the repercussions rippling through the fleet…but you have me Laura. I'm here to listen. None of us can survive alone," Bill said, and moved to put his hand on her arm.
Laura nodded slowly, waiting, maybe, for him to say something more. Bill's words were sweet but at this point that's all they were, words. Words were no longer enough. She smiled with little hope.
"I was alone before the attacks. I was alone when Billy died. I was alone on New Caprica," Laura said.
Her heart did go out to Bill for the stricken look on his face, especially when she mentioned Billy, but she wasn't going to give in to his self-inflicted guilt trip. Not this time.
"Alone works for me, Bill."
She gently took him by the wrist and pushed his hand back toward him, away from her arm.
"Why are you doing this?" He asked.
Laura had to swallow hard when she thought she spotted a brief hint of moisture in his eyes.
"Go ask your cylon in the brig, she seems to have all the answers," Laura reacted.
She brushed past him and picked up the stack of papers. She knew her words were harsh and they probably left Bill reeling, but she was still mad at him. She needed to get back to her ship, to get away from him and the Life Station and think things over. Colonial One was calling to her. Home was calling.
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A few days later, Bill found himself searching out answer, but not from the cylon in the brig. No, this time he was the last place he ever expected to be. Just around the next turn was the office of one Vice-President Tom Zarek. Laura, he thought to himself as he lifted his chest, you damn well better be worth this.
In all the time he had known her, he never realized how hard her shell was. Probably because this was the first time he had ever tried to get information about her past. What was usual to him was the fact she didn't seem overly guilt ridden or afraid of the past. She seemed protective of it. He got the feeling she was hiding an old wound she didn't want anyone to see, because it might show…Zeus alive, she's human after all…Ellen's words came to him and he smiled. Maybe some of Ellen's drunken ramblings did carry an amount of truth.
He supposed Roslin's aversion to the past made sense, considering she was a hard person to get to know. For months after the attacks they both struggled to understand each other. Laura had let him in only because she had to for the sake of the fleet. As he knocked on Zarek's door, Bill found himself wondering if she had every really let any man see the real her. With a suppressed grin he thought back to the times on New Caprica. That was the real Laura Roslin, he was sure of it. He was determined to see her like that again, even if it meant doing what he was about to do.
"Admiral Adama," Tom Zarek said, extending his hand for a friendly shake.
"I must admit the Astral Queen was a bit surprised when they told us you were coming." Zarek stepped back and allowed Adama to enter his office.
The vice-president's office was immaculately clean, which surprised Bill. The Astral Queen was one of the oldest ships in the fleet, nearly falling apart at the seams, but Zarek's office was tidier and more professional than Laura's.
"Please tell me that's not the original," Bill said, gesturing to the famous painting hanging above Zarek's desk.
"Have a seat," Zarek said, closing the door. "Can I get you something?"
Adama wasn't sure what to make of Zarek's hospitality but he was sure he didn't want any of it.
"No, thank you."
Zarek poured himself a drink.
"Nukes going off everywhere, the museum's crumbling and what does this bozo grab? Goddesses Keep," Zarek took a drink and shook his head back and for in disbelief.
"Where'd you get it?" Adama questioned with a sly smile.
Zarek ducked his head and mumbled the answer as he rounded his desk.
"The bozo sold it on the black market, where I picked it up. Don't tell Laura," he said quickly.
Zarek turned and studied the painting.
"I'm glad I left it on the Queen instead of taking it down to New Caprica. It never would have survived. Seemed fitting you know. The Astral Queen is named after the book of Astralla. And it came to pass the Goddesses formed a keep. Not as well known as Pythia but just as pretentious," Zarek said and swallowed another gulp.
Adama lifted an eyebrow, surprise Zarek could quote scripture with the best of them. Bill resisted his natural aversion to the writings of the prophets and studied the painting. Ever since he was a boy middle-period art had been his favorite. There was something about the colors and the almost sketch-like quality that was a bit creepy. When he got older he still liked the painting and was glad to see it had some merit aside from featuring three beautiful goddesses.
The dark elongated demons approaching the three women were just familiar enough to be chilling. With their own set of dark demons behind them, the women stood together in a sort of sexy protective fury, Bill decided. Probably why Zarek liked the painting.
"Astralla tells the story of the goddesses. That is Demeter in the middle there. On her right hand is Aphrodite and on the left is Athena," Zarek explained pointing out each in turn.
Though Aphrodite was the goddess of beauty, in the painting Bill had always thought Demeter was the most beautiful. He liked her hair.
"The scriptures say when the demons of the underworld discovered where Demeter hid Persephone they came to steal the baby away. Demeter united with Aphrodite and Athena and turned the demons against each other. Pretty cool," Zarek finished, with a cheesy teenage boy infliction.
Adama sat down and Zarek copied the action.
"Here's the supply request. We tried to accommodate the Queen as best we could. We can go over it now if you have questions," Bill explained, handing the folder to Zarek.
Zarek put the folder on top of his desk and set his drink on top of it. He rested his arms on the table and gave Bill a scrutinizing look.
"Nice cover. We both know what you really came here to talk about," Zarek replied.
"Excuse me?" Bill questioned.
He knew exactly what Zarek was talking about but it pissed him off Zarek was so smug about it. Bill barely admitted to himself how he felt about Laura, and here was Zarek acting like he knew all along.
"I knew all along. You were destined to come to me sooner or later."
Zarek's conceited smile nearly made Bill reach across the table and punch it off his face. He was doubly perturbed by the fact he was playing right into Zarek's hand.
"It's true. I've been resisting visiting the Astral Queen—"
"Drop the act Adama," Zarek said, his smile fading.
The vice-president took a drink. Maybe now that Zarek's self-satisfied attitude was gone Bill could talk to him without restoring to violence.
"Okay. Tell me what you know," Bill said.
Zarek pursed his lips together and fingered through some papers on his desk. He plucked a single sheet from beneath the stack and read over it.
"Rumor is, you want to know about Roslin's past," Zarek stated.
How in the frak Zarek found out was completely beyond Bill's comprehension. Zarek had more connections than Galactica's FTL drive. Since Bill felt like Zarek knew something he let the matter pass without comment.
"Before I gave up my pursuit of the presidency, I did some digging. I wanted Laura's rap sheet to use against her. All politicians have a dirty little secret. I was after hers," Zarek explained.
"You must not have found it," Bill replied.
He knew if Zarek had come across anything big enough to bring Laura down, he would have used it long ago.
"This is what I found," he said, and flicked the piece of paper with one finger. "Unbelievable. The woman spent twenty years in politics and she doesn't have enough dirt to fill a page."
The vice president shook his head in irritation.
Bill wasn't very surprised to see only a single sheet of paper. Laura was in part a good girl and in part a master of information withholding. Bill let a grateful smile creep onto his face. He was pleased to know Laura was a mystery to Zarek as well.
"You want to know what it says?"
"What'll it cost me?" Bill questioned. With Zarek everything had a price.
"The Astral Queen wants all the supplies we asked for. Since we started this thing, we've been last on the supply rotation every time. We want first pick this time," Zarek reasoned.
Truth be told, Adama had already considered what Zarek requested, but the vice-president didn't have to know Bill already put the order through. Let Zarek think we was bartering and winning. It might make him more tolerable.
"Done," Bill simply said and enjoyed the watching the way Zarek's eyebrows shot up in surprise.
"Really?" Zarek questioned then regained his composure.
"Something wrong?" Bill said, slyly.
"No. I just didn't think it would be that easy," Zarek replied.
The men stared each other down for a few minutes, sharing a moment of unusual camaraderie.
"So, what does that paper say?" Bill questioned, his curiosity getting the better of him.
He leaned forward and tried to read the words on the page but Zarek drew the paper back.
"All in good time, Admiral," Zarek said. "There is one more thing I want."
Bill inhaled and did his best to look grouchy. He wasn't in the mood to play games with someone he despised.
"I want to hear you say it," Zarek remarked pompously.
"It?" Bill asked.
The Admiral was at a total loss as to what Zarek had up his sleeve now. The man across the desk took another drink and set his glass aside. He leaned forward and set the Roslin paper on top of the folder.
"Three little words Bill, that's all it will take," he chided.
Bill knew what he was talking about now.
"Why do you care?" Bill asked.
"Because I care," Tom snapped, "If you can't even admit it to me, then you'll never admit it to her. And if you have no intention of admitting it to her, I don't think I should share this information with you because I can still use it for my own benefit."
"I thought you said she was squeaky clean," Bill remarked, wanting to find a flaw in Zarek's logic.
"That's not how it would benefit me," he replied, looking Bill directly in the eyes.
Bill hoped his mouth didn't fall open too wide when he realized that Tom Zarek was a little in love with Laura. Zarek had a reputation for being a ladies man so Bill shrugged off the vice-president's interest in Roslin as purely hormonal. Apparently, there was more to it. The fact Bill had some competition actually strengthened his resolve. Bill hated to be in debt to Zarek for anything. He certainly wasn't going to lose Laura to this…terrorist.
"I love her and I have every intention of telling her," Bill replied.
Now it was his turn to watch Zarek's mouth drop open. For someone who was so sure of himself, Tom acted like he really didn't expect to hear the words.
"You better not break her heart or I'll beat the living crap out of you myself," Zarek replied and looked down at the paper.
As if you stand a chance, Bill thought clenching a fist.
"And…" Bill said with annoyance. He wanted to get on with it.
"I really couldn't find anything of interest," Zarek began, swishing the paper from side to side, "Nothing that would help me win in an election against her, that is."
Bill fought the urge to stand up and grab the frakking paper.
"I did the research after the attacks, so our databases where somewhat limited. I did find an article about her helping mount Adar's presidential campaign. It made reference to something you might find interesting…"
Bill's mind was screaming at Zarek to spit it out already. He remained calmly seated in his chair, resisting the urge to strangle the vice-president.
"When she was fifteen her father and three sisters were killed in a car accident. Her father was a man of some political standing and foul play was suspected but never proven. The article jogged my memory and I started to remember when it happened, because her father was a supporter of my mother's campaign to free Sagittaron. If memory serves, they did pick up a suspect or two, but nothing ever came of it."
That was it? That was what Bill had come all the way over from Galactica for? That was what he put up with Zarek to get? His eyes fell to the floor in disappointment.
"There are a few other little things I managed to dig up," Zarek continued. "The trail goes a bit cold after the accident before she met Adar. She flunked out of her first year of college, but, I really didn't think that was enough of a shock to help me win a campaign. Everyone makes mistakes. When she went back she graduated at the top of her class, of course."
"She is smart," Bill said, and gained a look from Zarek.
Bill knew the words were lame, but he was dissatisfied. He thought he was on the road to discovering Laura's secret. For a moment Bill considered telling Zarek what he had learned from the cylon. Upon consideration he decided the information was too personal to share with Laura's vice-president, despite how much Bill wanted answers. Zarek probably wouldn't be able to shed light on the subject anyway.
Adama was silent as he contemplated his available options. Here was another dead end and no forks in the road left to travel.
"I'm not sure what you came here looking for, Admiral," Zarek said, handing the paper to Bill.
Adama skimmed over it and finding that Zarek had provided all the information he had, set the paper back on the desk.
"Neither am I," Bill said, and stood up. "Thank you, Mr. Vice-President."
Bill extended his hand and shook Zarek's. He didn't make eye contact before he left. To see Zarek was a little disheartened at the lack of praise for his hard earned information Bill did not need to make eye contact.
"You won't tell Laura about the painting?" Zarek inquired with a half smile.
"No," Bill replied. There was some kind of truce between them now.
The visit hadn't been a total loss. Laura's father and three sisters had been killed. Well, at least that was something Bill hadn't known. Besides, Adama was now in Zarek's good graces, at least for a while, because of the supply rotation. Bill supposed he should be thankful for small gifts. What he really wanted though, he was going to have to wait a little longer for.