Okay, the secret is at last revealed. I love reviews, so let me know what you think! Thanks for reading!! Special thanks to Drakkenfyre for beta reading for me!

Disclaimer: I don't own them Ron Moore and Sci-fi do.

Three weeks passed like lightening and, for Laura, they were filled with nothing but meeting after meeting. Today was the first day Laura had a moment of reprieve from the never ending onslaught of problems and complaints.

She inhaled the silence as she sat in her empty office on Colonial One. Her eyes studied the photo of the boy watching the nuclear attack on Caprica that hung above her desk. She flipped her pen back and forth between her fingers. It was late in the afternoon, probably past one, and more meetings were in store for the day. Laura couldn't help the small snarl that contorted her upper lip.

"Madam President," Tory said, entering the room, "Lt. Agathon called again and the Vice-President is here to see you."

Laura slowly turned in her chair and gave Tory a smirk which she meant to hide. Sharon had called nearly everyday since Laura's dream in the Life Station. By telling herself she had more important things to do, Laura successfully rationalized avoiding the cylon's calls.

Taking Bill's calls was something she couldn't get out of. She had spoken to Bill a dozen or so times since that day in the Life Station, but always with cold politeness. Zarek, however, now spoke about Bill as if they were best friends. Laura didn't know why but that pissed her off. Maybe she had been just a little bit flattered by their fighting over her.

"Send him in," Laura told Tory and the girl vanished behind the curtain.

Laura continued to flip the pen between her fingers. She was on edge. Something big was about to happen and she couldn't talk to either cylon about the dreams because that would mean going to Galactica. The truth was she missed Bill but she refused to admit it to herself in any way, shape, or form. Her pride was getting in the way and that pissed her off too.

"Madam President," Zarek said, as he stepped into her office with a brown paper package.

"Mr. Zarek," she began, getting straight to business, "I vetoed Sarah Porter's request for an around the clock Presidential armed guard. Honestly, where does she come up with these things? She had a lot of support too, so you'll have to be my peacemaker at the Quorum meeting next week."

Zarek plopped down in the chair across from her desk and smiled like he knew something all the while she was talking.

"I told you, they're just worried. You should be flattered," Zarek told her, bouncing the package up and down on his knees.

"What would flatter me is if they would stop acting like a bunch of spoiled brats and stop fighting over the last cookie," Roslin snapped.

She started rustling through the stacks of paper on her desk. Zarek had given her a briefing on the status of some of the civilian ships in the fleet. She made notes on her copy and she wanted to discuss them with Zarek.

"Who has cookies? I think I would sell my right arm for a piece at this point," Zarek joked, but Roslin really didn't hear what he was saying.

She couldn't find the briefing so she stood up and starting sifting through the other stacks of paper piled throughout the room.

"Aren't you going to ask what's in the package?" Zarek questioned.

Laura used her finger to mark her place in the stack and looked up at him. She eyed him over the rim of her glasses and gave in to his game.

"Okay, what?" she asked and continued to make her way down the stack.

"You'll just have to open it and see," Zarek replied with a smile and dangled the package over her desk before letting it drop.

Laura sighed a bit overdramatically just to let Zarek know she wasn't in the mood for distractions. She slowly undid the string around the paper watching Zarek like a hawk and getting some gratification in seeing him shrink a bit in the chair.

When she pulled the paper off her eyes took in the lines of familiar fabric. She picked up the fabric and realized the package contained her favorite pants. Immediately, she inspected the butt.

"I found a good seamstress. Fixed them up like new," Zarek said.

His voice was self-satisfied but not as much as was normal for him. Laura was a bit speechless. She wanted to continue to be in a bad mood but her pants were back! She loved her pants! She hugged them to her chest for a minute before setting them on the table.

"Thank you," she told Tom her words heartfelt.

She turned and was about to go back to looking for the briefing when Zarek stopped her.

"Ah, just one minute. There is one more thing we need to get out of the way before business," he said.

Laura pushed her glasses up and folded her arms. She didn't like where this was going. Zarek fixed her pants to butter her up and now she knew he was going to say something she didn't like.

"I don't have all day," she said with annoyance when he hesitated.

"Adama's worried about you. Talk to him," Zarek said, almost asked.

Laura rolled her eyes and bent down beginning her search once more.

"This isn't something you can shrug off," Zarek continued.

"Uh-huh," Laura mumbled.

She wasn't listening to him now. Besides, she knew she was getting closer. The briefing was in this stack somewhere.

"It's bad for the fleet and bad for you," Zarek ranted on and on.

The briefing was shoved good and hard underneath the other papers. With a two handed yank it came lose.

"If the Quorum felt you had someone looking out for you they might back off a little," Zarek rambled but Laura didn't hear any of it.

With the briefing in hand she meandered back over to her desk. Zarek was now standing but instead of looking at him she thumbed through her notes. Her eyes were violently torn from reading when Zarek snatched the briefing out of her hand and held it out of her reach.

"Don't pretend to be disinterested," Zarek accused with a smirk.

Laura leaned over her desk and tried to grab the file back. Tom only held it over his head higher. With hand on her hips she became decidedly against playing see-who's-taller.

"If you have a point, make it," Laura demanded.

They were wasting time.

"Adama came to me asking about your past," Zarek spat out quickly.

Laura was a little shocked and didn't object when he continued.

"He thinks you're hiding something. I told him about the car accident, your family, how you flunked out of school—" Zarek said.

"How did you—" She tried to interrupt but he kept going.

"And being the gentleman that I am I didn't tell him about your affair with Adar," Zarek stated triumphantly.

Laura knew her mouth was gaping open. As soon as she realized her reaction she snapped her mouth closed and tried to gather her wits.

"How—? You know what, never mind, I don't even want to know," she said throwing up her hands.

She walked over to the couch and began pacing as Zarek followed with his mouth running.

"You're lucky I didn't find out until after New Caprica. Something like that could have brought you down in a heartbeat," Zarek commented.

Laura only continued to pace away from him.

"But—that's off subject. What I'm trying to say is I know you well enough to know exactly why you are miserable. Now, you can wallow on Colonial One while Adama does the same on Galactica or you can get a frakking clue and go tell him what you need to tell him. The two of you at odds doesn't do the fleet any good. Need I cite Kobol? If the two of you together means the two of you have to be…together, well then, I say what the hell, and I know Sarah Porter would agree," Zarek assured with confidence.

Laura had stopped pacing and was now looking at Zarek with what she knew was a suppressed smile. He was handsome when he was being chivalrous matchmaker.

"Are you finished?" She asked.

"Yes, I think so," he replied.

Laura put a hand to her mouth. She walked by Zarek and back to her desk snatching the briefing out of his hand on the way. The meeting continued on a professional business level much to Laura's relief. Zarek's words stuck with her though. He must have known he got to her otherwise he never would have let the subject drop so quickly.

After he left she flipped the pen between her thumb and index finger twice as fast as before.

Four days ago, she had been on board Galactica, where Cottle took out the stitches in her shoulder and also subjected her to another Diloxin treatment. This time, Bill didn't come to check on her. Nor did he return her book.

…you will have to trust me with all three if you want this Laura. Bill's words repeated in her mind at least a million times a day.

At about two in the morning, in the silence of her office Laura came to a decision. She was loath to admit Zarek was right. She was dying, they were on the road to Earth and not being with Bill seemed to be just as dangerous and destructive to the fleet as being with him could be. If she went to him right now, if she just got on a raptor and showed up at his door, what would he do?

Laura stood up and pulled on her jacket. She went to the mirror and looked herself over. The wear of leading the fleet did show through around her eyes in the few grey hairs she had peeking through but she couldn't worry about that now. Her mind was made up. She had to tell him everything, and not let her pride get in the way. Now that she had cooled a bit, she was ready to talk. If he still rejected her, so be it. At least then she could get on with her life.

On the off chance he felt the same way…she took a comb through her hair and checked her breath. Upon impulse she changed the blouse she was wearing. Satisfied when she looked herself over again she crept out of her office and down to the hanger deck to find a Raptor.

To keep her presence quiet she bribed the pilot on duty with a few food stamps. She was so engrossed in thought it wasn't until she was on the flight she realized she still had her pen. She flipped it between her fingers all the way to Galactica.

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He was a contemptuous, pitiable brute who was little worthy of her scorn much less anything of a more amiable nature.

Those small dark eyes peered palpably from beneath the thick brow she had grown accustomed to. Perhaps, in the twilight glow of his estates finest chandeliers, he could see past her instinctive aversion and into her sorely wounded heart.

Charlotte was no man's fool; but she understood exactly what propriety chairwoman Mrs. Casson and her cronies would say about romance.

"Every woman is young in turn, Miss Astor. We all have a chance at matrimony but every woman must realize when providence has closed the gates on certain prospects."

The opinion of an old bitty was of little consequence to Charlotte, despite twenty nine years that said otherwise. Mr. Lyons had, on occasion, shown more than a little condescension toward the opinions of the Kingsland Ladies Society. The very fact Mr. Lyons showed no predisposition to be ill set against her age was the reason she stood her ground now. The heightened awareness of her presence she perceived on his slightly shadowed face put her in an excitable state of consciousness.

His lips uttered no command nor ordered her to vacate. An acute silence filled the gaps in their normally vivid conversations. Mr. Lyons shifted his position to one more directly in her line of sight. The compassionate kindness settling around the lines of his eyes made Charlotte clasp her gloved hands together.

"Miss Astor," Mr. Lyons' tone lost none of its formality though desperation wandered fleetingly around his face.

"You are mistaken to believe I have any regard for Emily Massey. My heart, through no contempt of mine, is, and has always been yours. Dearest Charlotte, I would dare to defy public opinion and ask you to be my wife. Society can not dictate how we live; only we can."

Tap, tap, tap. Thump.

"Ouch."

Bill hit his head against the wall when he heard a knock at his door. He wasn't asleep, but in the middle of thumbing through Laura's book, again. He had finished a few weeks ago and had been thinking about it ever since. Laura said he wouldn't like the ending.

Charlotte Astor, as in the tradition of books in Colonial history, ended up with her man, though, it took some work on the part of long-suffering Mr. Lyons. The romantic hero was lucky in the end, however. Bill liked the ending and wracked his brain to understand why Laura said he wouldn't like it. Unless, that is, she thought Bill didn't want a relationship, but how he came to that conclusion was beyond him. Their subtle flirtations were getting too complex for him to unravel.

He threw back the blankets and climbed out of bed. This time, he knew the knock was not Tigh's and he was grateful. The last few weeks he spent most of his free time wallowing in misery in his quarters. He didn't want to see anyone. Today, Lee even asked what was wrong, which Adama shrugged off as nothing but a headache.

"Five hours of sleep, that's all I ask," Bill grumbled to himself as he twisted the hatch.

Once the hatch was open the shocked look on his face was most likely an exact replica of the shock on Laura face. Damn her for looking unnaturally beautiful at two-thirty in the morning.

"What's wrong?" he asked, shaking off his alarm.

He hadn't seen Laura for three weeks, and she looked like she was going to be sick.

"May I?" she asked, her voice determined.

Bill stepped aside and let her enter. He wished he had on more than just sweat pants and tanks. Laura was dressed as if she was going to a meeting with the Quorum. He shut the door and turned to face her, confusion washing over him.

"Laura, are you all right?" Bill questioned again.

She really had him concerned. This was not like her, especially considering she was still mad at him.

"No, I'm not," she replied, saying the words slowly and deliberately.

"I finished the book," Bill began, as he felt a little hope tugging at his heart. "I liked the ending. My favorite scene was when they confessed their feelings for each other."

"Bill," Laura began, her tone issuing an advance warning for him to stop.

He held up a hand to cut off her protests. She nodded and looked down at the ground. Regardless of what she had come there for tonight, he decided to take a chance.

"This means a lot more to me than I though it did. I love you. I have for a long time, but I couldn't act on it. Now, I just don't care about the consequences. I was wrong to press you before and I'm sorry."

Bill waited with baited breath for her response. She looked like she might stomp around the room in a childish temper-tantrum.

"You might not want to say that just yet; wait until after what I have to tell you, you may change your mind."

She took a deep breath and licked her lips. At that moment Bill didn't think she could have told him anything to make him hate her, not even if she was a cylon.

"I was having an affair with President Adar. An affair that only ended the day of the attacks," she said, her voice growing smaller.

"Does that shock you?" She asked timidly.

The follow up question was so fast Bill didn't have time to gather himself. Yes, it shocked him. What did she think it would do? Make him want to skip around his cabin jumping for joy? He was momentarily afraid he might pass out on the floor. Of course, the way she had spoken of Adar in the past…he should have picked up on it.

"I can go now," she said, and walked passed him toward the door.

He caught her arm with his hand. He turned her to face him and then, taking her by the shoulders gently pushed her in the direction of the couch. When he pushed on her shoulder to urge her to sit she gasped. Obviously the stab wound still grieved her.

"Sorry," he apologized softly as he sat next to her.

She moved her head from side to side and her eyes closed briefly.

"Keep going," he ordered.

He wanted to hear it all. Right now he didn't care about Adar. They could deal with that subject later. Adar was the past and right now, Adar wasn't what was bothering Laura.

"When I was twenty three…" she began and then stopped.

She stood up and took off her suit jacket. She was wearing a lovely red blouse, nearly the color of the dress she wore on New Caprica. Bill wondered, with a faint tingling of hope, if she consciously picked that particular color to wear tonight.

She walked to his drink stand and poured her self a glass of water. When her eyes questioned if he wanted anything he shook his head. Leaning forward with his elbows on his knees and hands clasped, he watched her take a drink before she continued.

"My boyfriend at the time bought a new ground ship. To celebrate we went out. There was a large group of us. Two of my friends and one of his," Roslin began.

She took a few steps, holding the glass with one hand and her other hand on her hip.

"I thought ground ships were discontinued," Bill stated.

From the way her features relaxed, Bill thought the sound of his voice calmed her.

"They were. Not enough safety features," she said and angled her body toward him as she continued.

"That night we got drunk. Very drunk. I was a stupid misguided juvenile at the time. Que sera. Mike said he could drive. We paid the price. None of us walked away from the accident without scars. Thank the Gods none of us where killed. We were lucky. Mike didn't have a scratch on him. His friend had a broken leg and shattered his elbow. A friend and I were thrown from the ship because we weren't in our seats," Roslin stopped and took another drink from her glass.

The emotionless detached way in which she told the story sent chills running down Bill's back. He braced himself for another shock.

"She had six months of therapy before she could walk again…" Laura trailed off.

Bill was silent while he let her get through the memories, but like with Zarek, the suspense was killing him.

"Were you injured?" he asked causally as he rose and walked over to pour himself a drink.

Roslin didn't answer until he finished pouring and turned to face her.

"I had to have emergency surgery," she stated and abruptly changed the subject, "Tom said you went to him for information about me."

From the look she was sending his way he was assuming that wasn't a good thing.

"I did," he replied, taking full responsibility, and feeling guilty.

"You really need to stop doing that, Bill. I don't appreciate it," she scolded.

Bill didn't want to offend her now, just as she was getting to the heart of her story but he felt the need to defend his actions.

"Next time I ask you something, don't push me away and I won't have to," he replied. He kept his voice stern but not harsh.

"Fair enough," she said, just as he had a few weeks ago.

She set her glass down on Bill's desk and folded her arms.

"He told you about the car accident," she stated.

"Yes."

Bill looked down into his glass.

"Did he tell you they brought in a suspect?" She questioned, her voice getting lower and lower.

Bill was sure by the end of her story he wouldn't be able to hear anything she said.

"He didn't go into detail," Bill answered.

Laura's face had drained of all color. Right now all Bill wanted to do was throw his arms around her and assure her that nothing could hurt her now. He stood by the drink stand, twitching his fingers.

"The man they brought in as a suspect in the murder of my father and sisters was a gifted doctor. He preformed my surgery," Laura said.

Bill jerked his head up and took in Laura's expression. She seemed resigned to the fact but he was in utter distress. How could the hospital let that happen? The story was bad and Bill had a feeling it was only going to get worse. Laura must have seen the anger swell in his eyes because she continued quickly.

"My mother and I didn't know it until the deed was done. No one knew or realized it because things were frantic when the five of us were brought in. I don't blame anyone, although I've had an aversion to medical doctors ever since. It's why I was so against Diloxin the first time around. One little slip up can change your life forever. My mother took it hardest. Sometimes, when I think back about the experience I feel like my sisters where there in the hospital room, comforting my mother."

Laura smiled faintly and leaned against the side of Bill's desk with her arms still folded. The color she wore and the cut of her blouse in the dim light of his quarters made not focusing on her attractiveness a little difficult. He turned his eyes away, not wanting anything to distract him from what she was telling him. His heart was heavy with the weight of what she was saying.

"What I don't understand is why this man felt the need to take away my family once, my father and sisters, and then again, when he botched the surgery and took away any chance I had of starting my own family," Laura explained, her tone was reflective instead of bitter.

The bigger picture was starting to open up to Bill.

"He did it on purpose?" Bill questioned, as his veins pumped with anger for the man.

"We could never prove it, but my mother tried," Laura giggled.

She actually giggled in the midst of telling such a crappy, crappy story. Bill though it was just about the crappiest story he had ever heard. Ranked it right up there with, I'm Sorry, Sir, There was an Accident at the Flight School.

"She was, well, frankly, she was extremely pissed that she would never have any grandchildren. She wasn't the only one. Later we found a large string of woman who underwent the same surgery by the same doctor with the same result. Even if we had proven it, the man disappeared without a trace," Laura responded.

Bill could tell she was trying to shrug off the unhappy ending but she wasn't very convincing.

"Good thing," Bill said, drawing a surprised, perhaps shocked look from Roslin. "If I ever find the motherfrakker he'll wish he had disappeared," Bill said and took another drink.

The ambrosia burned going down and it felt good. He wanted a little physical pain to take away the emptiness he was feeling inside. Roslin sighed and took off her glasses. She rubbed her eyes but Bill couldn't tell if she was tired or trying to hide tears.

"Bill," Laura began, lifting her eyes to face him.

They were red and he was sure she probably had been crying. He set his glass down and narrowed his eyes. Her tone was dead serious.

"Do you want to know why I threw both copies of Brother Cavil out the airlock that day?" She asked.

No frakking way was all Bill could think as his heart jumped to his throat.

"Not because I thought he was dangerous or because I didn't see his value as a military asset. I threw him out the airlock for my father, for my mother, for my sisters and because I wanted revenge. I planned on having four children. Four, plus my family. That's eight times I promised myself I would watch Cavil die.

"I didn't recognize him until the day of the interrogation. Two deaths on Galactica, and three on New Caprica. I still have three deaths to deliver to him. When he said I was guilty of genocide because I didn't have children…I don't think he knew. He did the same thing to so many women on the Colonies, I was just another face in the crowd. Of course, I never would've had to dig up all the heartache again, if not for Baltar. He said I could go free that day on New Caprica. He lied," Laura growled.

"Cavil?" Bill repeated his voice raspy and choked.

Bill shook his head and ran a hand through his hair.

Amazing how Laura's life could be destroyed by a cylon and still she managed to blame it on Baltar. Of course, Baltar was the cause of just as much pain to her personally as Brother Cavil. Perhaps it was worse in Baltar's case, because he was human. He was Laura's opposite in every way. Indecisive, self centered, carefree and every bit as worshiped by his people, even now. Bill was finally beginning to understand Laura's need to hate Baltar. It was against her nature not to.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you…I just…" Laura trailed off, her voice finally cracking.

He understood now…he understood everything. Not only was this a horrible tragedy from Laura's past, the ramifications of Cavil sabotaging the human race for so long before the attacks and the possibilities with Laura's shared dreams were incomprehensible.

"I still love you," Bill said.

What do you say to a story like the one Laura just told him? I love you seemed like the only thing far reaching enough to drown out the depression filling his quarters.

"You do?" Laura asked.

The surprise in her voice made Bill laugh. He really shouldn't have laughed, but he was at his wits end and her surprised yelp tickled his funny bone. After only a few seconds of his laughter and Laura joined in.

They both laughed until they had tears running down their faces. They both laughed because right now it was what they had to do to keep from crying.

"You…shhh…sound…surprised," Bill said between spurts of laughter.

His words only added to the fit of hilarity. Laura's laugh made him laugh harder and his laugh seemed only to fuel hers.

When they finally settled down Bill watched Laura wipe the tears from her eyes. Her smile lit up the whole of his cabin.

"Thank you. I needed that," she said, in a sing-song voice.

"The laughing part or the I love you part," Bill asked still chuckling. He was a little nervous as to what her reaction would be.

"Both," she replied, her voice a little unsure.

"You're wrong to think you don't have any children. The whole fleet looks to you as a mother, Lee and Kara in particular," he replied.

Laura smile faded in degrees but still remained on her face.

"Then," she said slowly, "we will have to tell them."

Bill smiled widely and Laura matched his reaction with her large lovely smile once again.

"I don't see how I can get around telling Tory," Laura replied.

"And I will have to tell Saul," Bill added, thinking things through.

"Tom Zarek knows, doesn't he?" Laura asked, giving Bill a knowing look.

Bill scratched the back of his hand and tried not to look at guilty as he knew he was.

"He suspects. My fault," Bill replied.

Laura only smiled and leaned against the palms of her hands, which where clutching the end of his desk.

"Can't win them all. I think he will keep our secret," Laura replied.

"I know he will. He's in love with you too," Bill said.

"That's too bad for him. My mind, heart, body and soul belong to someone else," Laura responded.

"Who would that be?" Bill questioned, with a large smile.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I should have mentioned that would be you," she cooed playfully and then added, "Bill."

With lightening speed Bill closed the distance between them. He swore he felt the thunder from one of the large rainstorms on Caprica rumble through the room when their lips met. Bill took her mouth in his and wrapped his arms around her waist. She kissed him as he always imagined she would. Her intelligence and heartache and need flowed from her lips and nursed his like water to a desert traveler. Both of them had thirsted for too long.

He felt Laura's hands timidly trek up his forearms and rest on his shoulders. The cinnamon sent of her overwhelmed his senses. The texture of her long, fiery hair under his fingers was like silk. They had been at war for so long and so many luxuries were now gone. He couldn't remember ever feeling something so pleasant, something so delicate, something that reminded him so much of home.

When his thumb brushed against her neck he heard the smallest muffled sound come from her lips. She was exquisite and he loved her. With that thought he kissed her more passionately and more tenderly. In response, her hands traveled up his neck and through his hair.

They had to go through a lot to get to this point, but Bill wouldn't change any of it. Upon gasping for air Laura spoke.

"The door?" she questioned.

"Already locked," Bill replied into her neck.

He did have his suspicions as to why she was there, and he didn't want to waste any more of their time. His suspicions were well-founded.

He was rewarded with Laura's rich throaty laugh.