Kim… Property?
By Futuramakid
DISCLAIMER: I don't own KP, or anything else her but the Mirror Universe KP crew.
2 days later, in front of the court house…
An old news reporter stood in front of a huge crowd of people at a Houston courthouse.
"Well, something very odd has happened here in Houston," the reporter said, "for the first time in history, a man is being tried for intellectual property theft, holding 2 Disney owned characters hostage. The characters claim to have been there of their own free will, and the fans of the Disney show Kim Possible have gathered here in front of the courthouse to protest the fact that Kim Possible is being considered property in this case. Here with me is the fans' leader, Ashley Benlove. Any comments you'd like to share with the media, Ashley?"
"Kim Possible is not property," Ashley began, "She is her own person, fictional or not. As far as I'm concerned, you are human whether you are a fictional character or real flesh and blood human being. They have feelings just like us. Up until less than 100 years ago, women were considered property of the men they married; 150 years ago, African Americans, of both genders were considered property by the slave owners who owned them. Kim Possible is not African American, but she is a woman. She is a human. As far as I am concerned, she's a better human than some people that are out in the world today."
"Well, Ashley, I hope that jury agrees with you," the news reporter said, "And there you have it, folks. Preconceived notions of inferiority are still in our society today, and this hearing proves it. Stay tuned for continuing coverage. Signing off, this is MARVIN ZINDLER, EYE WITNESS NEWS!" He yelled the sign-off, as was traditional. "You were great," Marvin said to her once the cameras stopped, "I hope the defense is as coherent as you were out here."
Meanwhile, in the courthouse…
Kim, Ron, and Ronnie sat down. Ronnie was especially nervous. He was to represent all 3 of them, and the adage "He who represents himself has a fool for a client" was at the top of his head. "Head in the game, Ronnie," he said to himself. Oh lord, he thought. If I fail here, not only do I fail myself, I fail Kim Possible and the entire fandom. I WON'T fail, he thought.
"The court is called to order," a man said, "the honorable Judge McSpadden presiding."
Ron stifled giggles.
"Ron!" Kim whispered harshly.
"I'm sorry, Kim, it's just… a funny name!" Ron said.
"The case is Ronnie Lane VS. The Walt Disney Company. Ronnie is charged with intellectual property theft."
"Intellectual property theft?" the judge said, "that's not possible!"
"Actually," the man said, "the stolen intellectual property IS possible. KIM Possible, to be specific."
"Are you trying to be funny?" the judge asked.
"No, no," the man said, "just to the point. The stolen property is the characters of Kim Possible and Ron Stoppable."
"Very well then," the judge said, knowing he'd seen everything now, "Prosecution, make your case."
Saffier cracked his knuckles and stood. He began to speak. "Now, Ronnie Lane is charged with theft. This isn't usually a large offense, but this is no normal theft. This is theft of intellectual property, and we have sufficient evidence to prove he is guilty. Exhibit A: One cel of Kim Possible's being. Note the clear marking, 'Property of the Walt Disney Company.' Exhibit B: One Kim Possible, with his fingerprints on her," he said, walking towards Kim and touching her shoulder.
"I don't know what law school you went to, but from just watching Boston Legal, I learned PEOPLE aren't evidence, they're WITNESSES," Kim said, glaring at this man as she pulled away.
"Miss Possible, you are out of order!" the judge said angrily. "But," he said in a more soft tone, "you are correct. How are we to consider this young woman property?"
"She," Lewis said, "is no more than a series of pencil drawings, augmented by ink, paint, and voice, Your Honor. She's no more alive than my signature. And I shall prove this." He took a large kneaded eraser out of his pocket. "Exhibit C: One normal eraser," he said maliciously. He took it, and proceeded to erase the underlying pencil line in Kim's shoulder. The arm went limp. Kim panicked as she tried to move it. Her eyes now filled with fear of this object. "As you can see," he said, "I have disabled her arm by erasing the pencil lines under it."
"I object," Ronnie said. "Kim is more than those drawings. Do you have any cels of what's happened in the past 2 days? How about recorded dialogue? Of course not. Kim Possible is a sentient being, able to think for herself. And by those guidelines, Lewis has just harassed a witness. I move that his presentation past Exhibit A be disregarded."
"Objection noted," the Judge said, "however, the prosecution's argument stands."
"The prosecution rests," Lewis said, looking at the jury, convinced he had made the jury believe him.
Meanwhile, in Washington…
"Justice," the assistant said, "we just received 1000 separate petitions for writ of certiorari."
"Since when is that extraordinary?" Justice Roberts said.
"They were from indirectly involved parties," the assistant said, "and all for the same case."