AN: So I asked you all last chapter who you guys felt more sorry for and it was close but I think Nate won by two... and hey Stevie even got a vote... :S hehe sorry C, I will try to be more nice to him in future chapters :P. As for who I feel more sorry for... well, whilst I don't think anything could quite compare to what Mitchie has just been through... I think I feel a tad more sorry for Nate... but only because I know what he has coming, and stuff from the past that hasn't been revealed just yet... but don't worry you guys will find out, just keep up with your awsome reviews that always inspire me to keep writing ;). Anyway, I had already uploaded a sixth chapter but then I felt like I had killed the tension for some reason, so I rewrote it. Yep, I spent a lot of time on this one, so I really hope you all like it... and to those... I think it was 7 people who read the deleted chapter... sorryyyyy hope you like this chapter better :).

Disclaimer: Nope... otherwise Stevie would've world dominated as much as the Jobros!! :P

Chapter Five:

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I lay completely awake, watching as Nate slept peacefully beside me.

I had barely slept in the last few days, it was just too hard to have the horrible memories come back to life in my dreams. All I wanted was to forget.

Nate stirred a little beside me, and I glanced back at him. His face was contorted into a painful expression, and he looked anything but peaceful now.

"Mom... please..." he mumbled almost incoherently.

I sucked in a breath and bit my lip. He stirred again, the space between his brows creasing in worry and pain.

"... Wake-wake-up... D-don't leave me... alone... Can't... Don't go..." a tear slipped down his cheek, and I hesitantly reached my hand out, my heart aching as it came into contact with the soft damp skin there. He stirred once more, but then seemed to calm at my touch. I ran my hand slowly down his cheek, and then gently brushed the tips of my fingers across the fading crease between his brows, and the soft bags under his closed eyes. His face became peaceful again, and I sighed quietly with relief.

"Mitchie..." he breathed out, and I bit my lip again, really not meaning to have woken him. I held my breath, but his eyes remained closed. I silently began to breathe again, relief flooding through me, knowing he needed as much sleep as he could get. I slowly moved Stevie away from me, and pushed him gently to Nate's chest, smiling softly at the picture. And then I rolled so I was facing away from him, not wanting to disrupt his sleep any further. I yawned deeply, but rubbed at my eyes, forcing myself to stay awake.

I shivered a little as the cold breeze brushed against my skin, and I reached for Nate's blanket. But then I looked up, confused as I saw the window open. I hadn't remembered it being open.

And then a movement in the corner of my eye made me scream. I jumped back, bumping into Nate, and shot up, the covers clung tightly in my hands.

"What...? Mitch... Shh, Mitch, it's okay, shh," I felt myself being pulled into Nate gently, and I realised I had still been screaming. I clamped my mouth closed, the only thing I could do to stop from screaming in panic again, and let out a few terrified whimpers and began trembling out of control into his chest. And then I urgently pulled away, turning back to what was now just an empty space. No, I had seen him, I swear I had seen him with my own eyes, standing there, right here in Nate's room, staring...

I stood up, running to close the window in panic... but it was. I just stood there, still trembling with fear, the image so fresh and clear in my mind.

I felt Nate's warm hands close gently around my wrists, turning me to face him. He looked terrified, too. "Mitch... breathe! I think you're having a panic attack!"

I realised then that my chest felt like it was going to explode in agony. I pulled in a quick, shaken breath, and tried to steady my breathing again. I kept looking around me, as if he was going to appear right next to me again.

Nate's hands moved to the sides of my face, stopping my frantic glances, and he began to rub one hand through my hair, trying desperately to soothe me. "Mitch, it's okay, I swear... Nothings here, just you and me."

I nodded, the beginning of tears stinging at my eyes and feeling severely shaken.

"God, what happened to you, Mitchie?" He asked me, his worried eyes searching mine desperately. He was referring to what I could never tell him.

I shook my head, "Nothing... I... I think I just had a-" no, hallucination would be a bad thing to say, that would just worry him more, so I lied, "-a dream... I just had a bad dream."

He stared at me, not believing a word. And this time, he didn't just let it go.

"Mitchie, tell me the truth. Please."

"I..." I sighed, "I can't, Nate... I can't."

He stared at me, his brows furrowed, "What did he do to you?"

My eyes grew wide, and I held my breath. If he knew 'who', it would only be a matter of time before he figured out 'what'. There were only so many 'what's after all.

I shook my head again. "No, it wasn't him. I just... I can't tell you. Please, Nate... just let it go..." I pleaded desperately.

He didn't look happy at all, but he did as I asked. He nodded slowly, and his hands left me as he took a small step back.

"I'm sorry," I told him, meaning it so much more than he knew. I was sorry that I couldn't tell him, sorry for worrying him, sorry for adding to the pressures he already had too much of. "I- I think I'm just going to go home," I said.

"No," he shook his head, surprising me at how demanding he sounded.

"What?"

"I don't want you to, Mitchie," he said in that same demanding tone, "Look at you... I don't think it's a good idea, and I definitely don't feel comfortable with it."

"Just for tonight, so we can both get some sleep," I told him, turning to go. But his hand caught my arm, turning me back again.

"I'm not going back to sleep again, despite whether you leave or not," he insisted, "So if your leaving for my sake-"

"No, I'm not," I lied. "I just- I-" I tried not to shudder as I said it, "I think I miss my own bed."

But he still seemed so reluctant to let go. "Please, Mitchie, it's not going anywhere. Just stay... one more night."

I looked into his pleading eyes and couldn't help but nod in defeat. He smiled in relief.

"Just at least let me get some of my own clothes?" I asked, gesturing to his extremely old, red 'mickey mouse' shirt and black sweat pants.

He bit his lip, but nodded finally, releasing his hold on me. I turned towards the window, and heard him speak again. "Ten minutes," he said, almost sternly.

I rolled my eyes and turned back. "Someone's a little overprotective tonight," I joked.

But he didn't seem to think it was funny. He just stared at me deeply, with that if-only-you-knew sort of expression.

I sighed and turned back, climbing out his window.

I shivered as I stepped lightly into my room. It was so strange being back here again. I thought I would have been terrified, but I felt strangely... invigorated. There was so much adrenaline pumping through me I finally felt like I was alive again. I moved towards my closet, when suddenly I heard my uncle's distant snoring fill my ears. I cringed, feeling nauseatingly sick, right down to the bone. How could he even still sleep, knowing what he had done to me? Did he have nightmares like I did? Did the memories haunt him every minute of everyday like they did for me? Did he feel guilty?

My hands curled into fists, and I felt the beginning of tears sting at my eyes once more. I blinked, but still, they didn't fall. I bit my lip, so hard I could taste the blood, but I didn't feel any pain.

Would he ever get what he deserved for doing what he did to me? How could he live with himself? Would he ever feel one second of remorse?

All that answered me was another stiffled snore.

Or maybe... maybe he got some sort of sick pleasure out of what he had done. I could feel myself almost snarling.

And then, as if I no longer had control of myself, like someone else was leading me there, I marched straight down the stairs into the kitchen. I ripped open a draw, taking no care in my noise levels, and pulled out a sharp knife.

I stared at it for a long while, clasping my fingers around it tightly.

My heart was pumping so fast, and the anger and hate and disgust were swelling up inside of me, taking over me completely. And it was like there was nothing left of me, just the hate and the pain and the sickening need for revenge.

And then suddenly, I let the knife fall lifelessly from my hand, and it clattered noisily to the floor. I held both hands to my face, stepping away from it like I was afraid of it. And I was. I was afraid of what it could do, and how much I had wanted that for just a minute. I was afraid of myself.

I turned on my heel and fled.

When I got back to Nate's room he was sitting on his bed, tapping his foot restlessly, waiting for me. He turned towards me when he heard my feet hit the ground. His eyes widened, and he got to his feet, slowly making his way over to me.

I was breathing harshly and I could barely see through the blur of tears that were forming in my eyes.

He stopped just in front of me, not knowing what to do.

I looked at him, a few silent tears slipping from my eyes, and without a word, I collapsed right into him, his arms wrapping around me instantly to stop me from falling to the ground. I leant all of my weight into him in agony, and he let us sink to the floor, rocking me back and forth in his arms.

And I cried. For the first time since that night, I cried.

I cried in anger and in pain, in hurt, confusion, helplessness, hate, fear...

I cried and I didn't stop. And Nate wordlessly held me to him, his arms tight like he would never let go.

I cried until finally, I fell asleep.

AN: Jeez what a depressing chapter... sorry... please review!