Disclaimer: I do not own School Rumble or any other properties mentioned in this story.
What you should know: This Story takes place after the ending of the School Rumble manga and some chapters of School Rumble Z so there are spoilers. Also this is a monkey faction fic (Harem for those not used to the term). There are some crossovers but they are not essential to the story (they are more like cameos). I also would like to apologize for any sensibilities being hurt by this story.
School Rumble: Final Rumble
Part 2
"TENMA-CHAN"
He found himself running towards the love of his life that happened to be dressed in a pure white wedding dress.
"Harima-kun"
She was there… waiting for him
"TENMA-CHAN"
Harima sped up even more and finally hugged the most beautiful girl that he has ever met.
"I love you so much; I will never let you go"
"Neither of us?"
"None of you"
"Oh hige"
"Oh Harima-san"
Since when did Tenma call him like that? And with different voices to boot.
Looking down he did not saw his beloved Tenma but instead he was hugging both Sawachika Eri and Tsukamoto Yakumo.
"AHHH!"
Harima Kenji woke up not hugging anyone but found himself sweaty, smelly and naked in the middle of a big bed in the luxurious room of Sawachika Eri.
"What the… it was a nightmare"
The tremendous headache that greeted him in the morning and the memories that came with it, made him realize that not everything was part of the nightmare.
"I got married with Ojou and Imouto-san."
He remembered the disastrous ceremony, how he tried to explain everything that happened (a complete failure since he did not know how he ended in that situation anyway) and how he ended promising getting everything straighten out today.
"And how the hell I am going to that?"
The headache was not helping him to think but at least it explained why he was in the state that he woke up (and trying to poison himself to death with alcohol during the reception was the only way out that he could think at that moment).
This was not the first time that he had got so drunk that he had no memories of the previous night (except those weird nightmares).
The first time was during his cousin's, Osakabe Itoko, high school graduation. He knew that he should not have drunk at all (he was a minor after all) but since it was a special event it was allowed. Of course he got drunk and, next morning, he found himself on Itoko's bed sweaty, smelly and naked (after a particular weird nightmare related to Itoko). His cousin was unusually quiet (and attentive) that morning. He must have made a fool of himself (well, more than usual) during the party, why else would Itoko be blushing so much?
Another time was when he visited Itoko at her college. He was surprised to find Sasakura Youko, Itoko's junior in high school, over there since she went to an art school that was far away from Itoko's. Since all three were reunited Youko recommended having a drinking party and, once again he woke up sweaty, smelly and naked on Itoko's bed again after a strange dream about Itoko (and somehow it included Youko this time, how weird). He remembered that that morning Itoko was again blushing up a storm and Youko seemed very bubbly, more so than usual.
One of the most recent involved Anegasaki Tae when he was 'staying as a guest' on her house. He confused the beer with the juice and, once again, he found himself sweaty, smelly and naked. Only that this time was on Tae's bed. She was not blushing so much as Itoko but seemed to be awfully sore, probably because she spent the night on the floor after he passed out on her bed. He remembered that in that ocassion the nightmare was about Tae. Strange drunken nightmares indeed.
So paying no more attention to his headache he decided to clean himself and eat something. Maybe the answer will come to him that way.
It was then that he finally began to think in somebody else besides him.
"What happened to Ojou and Imouto-san after the wedding?"
***
Tsukamoto Yakumo was doing the breakfast that morning in Sawachika's mansion's kitchen on her 'auto-pilot' mode, she usually did that when something was on her mind and, at this moment, there were several things.
The first and foremost was: what possessed her to do what she did last night? She had already resigned to Harima-san getting married to Sawachika-sempai. That morning she was drinking her iced tea before getting ready when her friends came and gave her the wedding dress with the question:
"Will you let him marry her just like that?"
And in that moment she decided that she wouldn't, she took the dress and went to the church. Sawachika-sempai was mysteriously missing and the organ began to play "Here comes the bride" and she just decided to stand next to Takano Akira (the bridesmaid) and go with the flow.
Of course at the end of the ceremony it required an enormous effort not to faint at the sheer realization of what had just happened fell on her.
Harima-san was trying to lessen the impact on the guests to not much avail, just a promise of 'I'll fix it tomorrow', done over and over again, avoided a bloody end of the ceremony.
After that they went to the reception ('Hey it's already paid' was the excuse that Harima gave). She did not drink that much, truth is that she did not had the incredibly weak resistance of her nee-san (but seriously, who else can get so drunk drinking cola?) but she had not that much resistance anyway so she only sipped along. Sawachika-sempai seemed to think the same while Harima-san…
Well, that would explain his behavior after the reception when they were alone. What he did to her… and then to Sawachika sempai… and afterward to both of them… at the same time…
Yakumo blushed. Maybe the little that she had to drink had affected more than she thought since she wouldn't have done what she did last night… ever.
And then she remembered what Harima said afterwards:
"I love you so much; I will never let you go"
"Neither of us?"
"None of you"
At that moment she received the confirmation of what she always wanted… never to be left alone again. And then… she blushed even more at this point on her reminiscing.
"Maybe not all was because of the Alcohol…"
So deep were in her own thoughts that 2 things were unnoticed to her.
One was that the breakfast was burning.
And the other was one Sawachika Eri standing on the door.
***
Waking up that morning on the complete mess that was her bed Sawachika realized 2 things:
One, she was a very bad drinker.
And two, she had married a couple of perverts.
Ok, she expected that Harima was a little bit perverted if half of the things that were said about him were true (she never have dared to think that all were false) but Yakumo boycotting her wedding and her… behavior last night certainly were unexpected.
Remembering the ceremony made her remember her initial plan after they got married: Make Hige pay for making her look like a fool on her own wedding. Yakumo would pay too but the main problem here was the big monkey that was now her husband. Although he had managed to distract her last night…
Eri blushed at the memories… okay, maybe she was a little perverted too but they were even worse!
Then she remembered what Harima said afterwards:
"I love you so much; I will never let you go"
"Neither of us?"
"None of you"
A she believed those eyes; those beautiful eyes that she had learn to love. And then…
The red on her face was practically crimson now. Okay, she was as perverted as them, but they started it!
She was thankful that Yakumo offered to clean the mess and cook breakfast (even if she had Nakamura and Masaru she would not let them see this). She did not agree on leaving Hige asleep but she would not wake him up either so maybe it was better this way.
She knew that Hige would try to fix this mess. She also knew that, somehow along the way, he would make it worse but she also knew that he was sincere in his promise to never leave them alone and at the moment she did not mind the arrangement (even if she would never admit it to anybody).
But she would not be the death weight of this… marriage. Oh no!
That was what she decided when she found Yakumo burning the breakfast.
"Yakumo… the breakfast"
Said girl quickly turned off the stove, unfortunately not soon enough to save the meal.
"I'm sorry"
"It's okay; as a matter of fact I want to ask you something."
She would not be totally supporting of this arrangement…
"Could you teach me how to cook?"
But that did not mean that she could not learn a couple things while being on it.
"Sure Sempai."
***
Osakabe Itoko was used to crazy things, being cousin to Harima Kenji kind of forced you to it, but what happened yesterday was beyond weird.
But then again, who else would get somehow married to 2 girls in front of their families in the most bizarre way possible?
She was really surprised when he gave her the news that he was marrying Sawachika Eri, and even more surprised when Tsukamoto Yakumo interfered and also, somehow got married to the doofus.
She was angry to several things in that situation but one of the main reasons was that she also had feelings for the big lug.
She had them since they were both very young, she could not explain them but there was something in the way that he acted that showed that he was more pure, innocent and noble that he let other people notice.
Of course she knew that these feelings would lead to nowhere since they were family and he was head over heels in love with another girl anyway.
In that regard she was not much different to the other 2 younger girls.
While she was thinking about this her phone rang.
"Hello… Kenji-kun?"
***
Apollo Justice had to deal with several strange things in his life. Especially since he was working for a certain Phoenix Wright. But this one deserves an honorific mention since his boss conveniently left for lunch as soon as he knew she was coming.
"So he is lawfully wed to the 2 girls?" asked the beautiful grown woman in front of him that introduce herself as the cousin for the scary looking guy who happened to be his client.
"I am afraid so, it seems that Mr. Harima is protected under a diplomatic agreement that allows him to practice polygamy."
"Up to 9 girls?"
"Seems like that," said the very nervous young lawyer "he is not the only one thought. There seem to be a boom of these things lately."
"But who on his right mind would grant this 'Jurai diplomatic protection' to this guy?"
***
"Seto-sama, did you travel to Earth recently?"
Said Oni-hime gave a very innocent look that, instead of relaxing, creeped the hell out of anyone that knew her well enough.
"I believe that I have… yes, but it was a short visit, noting of importance Airi."
Masaki Airi gave a sigh. Maybe if she ignored it nobody would blame her?
***
"Were the hell is located Jurai anyway?"
"Well I'll see what can I do about it, but this thing is Iron clad madam. Not even Houdini could escape from it."
"But such an irresponsible law, it should surely not be able to hold its own if contested?"
"You certainly are not familiar with our legal system madam. But I agree that is a very weird concession, even for a diplomatic law. Could you believe that if he chose it he could marry you?"
***
"My dear beloved we are here to join this man and these 3 women in holy marriage…"
Harima Kenji was once again in a situation so crazy that only a lunatic after a sleepless night could have come up with.
This morning his tiresome (and convoluted) thinking process in trying to solve his marital problems led him to his bright idea.
Dump the problem on somebody else and hope for the best solution.
Of course he chose his favorite problem solver: his cousin Osakabe Itoko.
How could he know that they would end up in another marriage?
Itoko just appeared at Sawachika's house in a wedding dress, dragged him out and brought him to the church.
He understood that Sasakura Youko would drive them, what he could not understand is why she was wearing a wedding dress too.
He did not even want to think why Anegasaki Tae was there, when she appeared or why she had a wedding dress on her too.
He also ignored the fact that a crying Tani Hayato was his best man.
He did not even want to think how it was possible that the very same priest that married him yesterday was conducting the ceremony.
"So my boy, do you take these three lovely women as you wives too?"
Never let be said that Harima Kenji didn't learn from his mistakes. He knew the answer that he should give this time to avoid problems…
"I…"
And one scary look from Itoko told him what SHOULD be his answer.
"… do?"
"Now I, priest Jiraiya, pronounce you husband and wives... again. Lucky boy you may kiss the brides."
Ignoring the cheering hug that Tae gave him, the possessive tug from Itoko and the creepy leer that Youko gave him and while thinking what he would say to Ojou and Imouto-san one thought crossed Harima's mind.
'At least I know that with Itoko and Youko there would be enough alcohol tonight to poison myself to death this time.'
***
Part 2… Fin
To be continued?