I don't see or hear from you again for almost two weeks and when I do I wish I begin to wish I haven't. Dumbledore has kept me busy with various small jobs and though I have written to you at least three times you have not replied, which is why when a rugged owl appears at the window my heart leaps and I dash to retrieve the letter I just know you have sent.

Upon seeing your tidy scrawl on the outside my heart soars even higher only to drop to the ground when I read what you have written:

Nymphadora,

I appreciate your concern for me over these past weeks but I am writing to ask you to give me the space and time we both need to adjust. As you are well aware I have spent a large part of the last year trying desperately to distance you from me and even though my failed mission has come to an end I think it best for us to maintain that distance. If this year has taught me anything it is that my kind are far too dangerous for you to waste your life on. I know what you're argument to this will be but the fact of the matter is that I am far too old, too poor and too dangerous for you and the sooner you come to realise this the happier we both will be.

I am so sorry if I have given you reason to think otherwise, but deep down we both know this is for the best. I wish for you to move on Dora, and that means you must forget about me.

Sorry,

Remus J Lupin

As I read your words I feel my eyes stinging slightly as tears begin to form. Of all the replies I had imagined you writing, this was not one of them. I thought that we had reached a new intimacy in our relationship, one that we could build on to make our relationship stronger than before you left. But now I find those thoughts have been knocked to the ground and I feel so hopeless I am lost for both words and actions. I fall back against the wall, my shoulders leaning heavily against it.

For the last year I have craved you, I have longed to feel your touch and to taste your kiss. And for the last year it has seemed that those things have been an insurmountable distance away, that is until that night two weeks ago. I know that I should not take such hope from a time when you were in such utter anguish and turmoil, but that night something between us shifted. For the first time ever you were dependent on me and that gave me hope. It made it seem us though the touch from you that I have needed for so long was finally within reach. But now, now it feels as though you are being dragged away from me once again at a speed which I cannot possibly match.

The words you have spoken in that letter shock me. You say that you are too poor and old and dangerous and it angers me. How can you think that such materialistic things bother me? How is it you can possibly believe that you are too dangerous? You are the most gentle, kind and amazing person I have ever known and it is because of that that I love you more than I ever imagined I could.

The pain I feel at this moment in time is something I cannot describe. I feel empty and cold and hurt all at the same time. I do not know what to do. How can I get on with my life without you? For almost a year you were the reason I got up in the morning. You gave me meaning. And now you are asking me to leave that behind. You want me to forget about all those nights we spent together and all those kisses we shared. You want me to forget about the way you would always wait for me to fall asleep before you would even contemplate closing your eyes, and how after a long shift at work you would always be waiting for me with a hot chocolate, ready to hear about my day. How can I do that? I wish I could but I just can't. I love you too much for that.

I slump down the wall and hug my legs in towards my chest. The tears fall from my eyes and I make no attempt to stop them. That night when I held you as you cried something changed between us. How could it not? You had never shown me that side of you. You had never been so vulnerable. And while I thought it was for the good it appears you think otherwise. It has been over 9 months since the day you first left me and broke my heart and now I find my heart shattered once again.