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Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.
Chapter 4: Meetings
He talked softly to Bella all the way home.
"Emmett is the oldest. He's also the biggest – way over six feet tall, but you don't need to be afraid of him. He's like a giant marshmallow. Emmett had a lot of brothers before he went into foster care, so he's really excited about having a new little sister. Don't be afraid if he's loud and he teases you. He just likes to play. He wouldn't hurt a fly," he said.
Bella sat looking at her lap, unresponsive.
He had no idea if she was listening or not. He hoped that if he talked softly enough for long enough then maybe she would be relaxed by the time they got home.
"Jasper and Rosalie are the next oldest. They're twins, although they don't look very much alike. The both have blond hair, but that's about where the similarity ends. I'm not really sure how to describe Rosalie ... I can tell you what she does, I suppose … She fixes all the cars and helps Esme cook dinner … But that doesn't really tell you too much about her."
He paused.
"Rosalie is beautiful … and very strong." he smiled at Bella, "She's going to light the world on fire some day."
Bella looked up for just the shortest of moments. He hoped he would get more of a response out of her, but she looked down at her lap again.
"Jasper is usually very quiet, although he and Emmett like to tease each other. They also like to make absurd bets, except Jasper is so smart that he usually beats Emmett – which only irritates Emmett and causes him to bet again," he laughed quietly and added, "Emmett hates losing.
Bella looked up again.
"Alice… is kind of energetic. And she loves to shop. She's small with dark, spiky black hair…." he trailed off again, frustrated at not being able to adequately describe his siblings. He could tell Bella what they did, but it didn't seem to describe who they were.
"Alice will be a good friend," he finally concluded.
Bella's shoulders relaxed a bit.
He wondered for the hundredth time what she must be thinking. He almost felt like he was talking to a ghost.
And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had…
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By this time they were home. He got Bella's suitcase out of the trunk and walked with her to the front door. She had her arms crossed above her stomach in the same way she had when they picked her up.
Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper and Alice were all in the living room waiting for them.
"Hello, Isabella!" boomed Emmett. Edward could tell he was trying to speak softly, but Emmett's version of speaking softly meant that he talked in more of a dull roar instead of his usual roar.
Bella flinched and crossed her arms tighter across her chest.
Emmett face fell and he shuffled to the back of the living room.
"She doesn't like to be called Isabella," he told them. "She prefers Bella."
Jasper and Rosalie both said hello quietly, learning from Emmett's mistake.
Alice danced up to me and gave Edward a hug before she cheerfully – but very softly – said, "Hello Bella!"
Alice had come closer to Bella than any of the others had. Bella stiffened at first, but then she looked up and saw Alice. Something of Alice's bright innocence must have shown on her face because Bella relaxed slightly and nodded her head at Alice.
Esme spoke up for the first time, "Rosalie and Alice, why don't you two show Bella the girls' room. Here's her suitcase."
Rosalie grabbed the suitcase and Alice followed her as they bounded up the stairs. Bella hadn't moved however. He saw her face slowly look up at him. He could finally see her eyes and he noticed that they were rimmed in puzzlement… and in that ever-present fear she lived in.
"It's alright, Bella. You can go with them," he murmured.
She still wouldn't move.
"Would you like for me to go with you?" he asked, trying to figure out what she wanted.
He was surprised when she nodded.
He followed her to the room she would share with Rosalie and Alice. Alice had bought a soft blue blanket to cover her bed. There was a fluffy teddy-bear propped next to the pillow. Bella leaned over and very carefully touched the blanket. She turned around and looked straight at Alice and Rosalie for the first time. She motioned towards the blanket and then at Alice and Rosalie. They both looked confused. She turned to him next, and went through the same motions again.
"Yes, Bella, this is for you. Alice bought the blanket and the bear for you, and Rosalie set the bed up," he said quietly.
She smiled slightly, just a quick flash up of her sunken cheeks before she looked at the floor again. Then she brought her arms up to her chest. He thought she was just scared again, but then she moved her frail arms outward in a gesture that he wasn't sure he understood.
He was startled when Rosalie said, "You're welcome, Bella."
Bella's hands fluttered again and she crouched down on the bed with her gaze directed downwards.
"Would you like for us to leave you to unpack?" he asked. She nodded without looking up.
"We'll come and get you when it's time for dinner," he promised. Rosalie, Alice and Edward turned and quietly left the room.
Rosalie exhaled loudly in the hallway. "She seems very sweet, but the silence is so … awkward," Rosalie admitted abruptly. "It's almost like being at a funeral."
He was about to yell at Rosalie when Alice nodded in agreement, "It's a good thing we have Edward. He seems to be the only one who knows what she's thinking most of the time."
He was embarrassed and said, "But you knew what she was thinking there at the end, Rosalie, and I'm only getting small pieces… the parts she lets us see."
He sighed in frustration because everyone in the house was like that… only showing the thoughts they allow the others to see…. Rosalie shrugged as if it wasn't important.
Yet, on the other side of it, of course, they desperately need Mummy and Daddy and are scared stiff of the very independence they are fighting to achieve…
______________________________________________________________________________
By this point they were in their large kitchen. Esme believed in decorating the house in calming colors, so the kitchen was a soft, pale yellow. The cabinets were white, the floor was a light pine wood. Esme was stirring a pot on the stove.
"How is she?" Esme asked, briefly looking up from her stirring.
"She seems to be the most comfortable around Edward, but still very tense," replied Alice. "She has a beautiful smile though," she concluded happily.
"How would you know?" demanded Rosalie. "We've only seen her smile once … for all of about one second."
"I just know," said Alice with a Cheshire cat smile. Alice twirled around the kitchen. "Can I help, Esme?" she asked.
"Alice, you can butter the bread if you'd like, and Rosalie can make the salad. Edward, could you go get Emmett and Jasper? It's almost time for dinner. Please remind Emmett to wash his hands," said Esme with an exasperated shake of her head.
"Okay," he said.
"Oh, and Edward?" asked Esme softly. He turned around.
"Since Bella seems the most comfortable around you, please get her as well," she said.
He nodded and walked outside. Jasper and Emmett were playing with the family's overgrown mutt named Jake. Carlisle thought he was a mix of about eight different dog breeds. All Edward knew was that he was large, loud and hairy. Emmett had found him on the side of the road looking for food one day when he was walking home from school. He coaxed the dog home by bribing him with his lunch leftovers (Rosalie thought that the dog must have been extremely hungry to have wanted the half-eaten bits of Emmett's lunch). Emmett had begged Carlisle for permission to keep the dog, while Carlisle, running true to form, only had to look at the dog – who had had the good sense to look starved, pitiful and well-mannered – before agreeing.
At this moment, Emmett and Jasper were trying to teach Jake how to fetch, but they weren't having much luck. Jake didn't seem to know that he was supposed to go get the ball. Instead, he ran around Emmett barking excitedly whenever one of the two threw the ball.
"Emmett, Jasper! It's time for dinner. Esme wanted me to remind you to wash your hands, Em," Edward said with a slight smirk.
Emmett roared and tackled him, while Jasper laughed loudly. Emmett and Edward began rough-housing, while Jake circled them, barking madly and trying to lick their faces.
Alice came to the door and started laughing and clapping her hands. "Dinner is ready," she called. "Edward, go get Bella!"
"Yeah, Edward," snickered Emmett. "Give Jake a good example. Fetch!"
He pulled away from Emmett and brushed the leaves off his shirt. Emmett pulled him into a headlock, but Alice started fussing at him, so he let Edward go.
He ran upstairs, flushed from being outside, and pushed open the door to Bella's room.
Bella jumped and flew to the corner of the room, where she crouched down with her arms crossed tightly across herself.
"I'm so sorry, Bella," he said. "I didn't mean to scare you. Esme just wanted me to tell you that dinner is ready."
Her face was so pale it showed up against the white of the pillows in the room. Her eyes were blank with fear and instinct again. She was breathing so rapidly he was afraid she was having a panic attack.
"Shhh," he crooned softly, his hands shaking.
Her eyes slowly lost the glazed look of opaque panic, and her frail fingers relaxed the death grip they had around her stomach. She closed her eyes and shuddered violently.
______________________________________________________________________________
I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It's a very, very
Mad World…
______________________________________________________________________________
"Shhhh," he repeated over and over again.
He raised his hands to touch her hair or stroke her back – to show any of those signs of comfort people instinctively show when someone is afraid. But she flinched every time his hand moved.
Finally, she opened her wide chocolate eyes and looked at him. They almost looked … apologetic. Then she looked down again.
"You know, Bella…" he started and then stopped. "You know you're safe here."
She looked up and met his eyes.
He spoke a little more firmly, "There is nothing to be afraid of. None of us will hurt you. You're safe here."
She looked down at her feet again and took a deep breath before nodding.
He got the unmistakable feeling she was whispering to herself, "I know… I know…" over and over in her head like a mantra.
He sighed and said, "Come on." She followed him down to the kitchen.
As they got closer to the kitchen he could hear the warm tones of Carlisle's voice. He must have just come home from work at the hospital.
He turned to Bella.
"It sounds like Carlisle is here. He's Esme's husband. He's a doctor and he works in the emergency room. He's the best man I've ever known," he said feelingly. "You don't have to be afraid of him." He was pleased when Bella nodded.
They walked into the kitchen and Carlisle stepped slowly and carefully towards Bella.
"Hello, Bella," he said. "My name is Carlisle. I'm so glad you've come to live with Esme and I. I know we'll enjoy having you."
Bella glanced at Edward before taking a deep breath and reaching out her hand in greeting to Carlisle. Carlisle smothered his surprise and gravely shook Bella's hand. Bella dropped her hand quickly and started looking at the ground once more.
It gave him his first clue about her character. Bella was brave. She was perhaps more willing than any of them to move beyond her past….
The tense silence was broken by the loud baying of Jake in the backyard.
"Esme, can we please let Jake inside?" begged Emmett. "I'll watch him. I won't let him bother anything! He just wants to be with everyone." He smiled his brightest smile at Esme, while Alice laughed and Rosalie groaned.
"Absolutely not, Emmett!" exclaimed Esme. "That dog will scare Bella to death!"
"But I'll watch him!" Emmett whined. "I won't let him come anywhere near Bella. You know how much he likes being inside in the evening!"
"Only because you feed the dog scraps from the table," muttered Jasper.
"I do not!" said Emmett. "Please Esme?"
"No, I'm not going to run the risk of that dog scaring Bella into the next decade," said Esme firmly.
Edward noticed that Bella had flinched several times throughout this conversation.
"Bella doesn't like it when you talk about her as if she isn't here," said Carlisle.
Bella looked up at Carlisle before swiftly dropping her eyes to the ground again.
"Bella," Edward said quietly. She looked up at him. He read frustration, and not fear, in her eyes. "Do you mind if Jake comes inside? He's kind of big, and he barks a lot, but he won't hurt you."
Then Bella smiled tentatively. It was the real smile he ever saw her give. She nodded her head once and motioned with her hands, unmistakably giving her permission for the dog to come inside.
Esme, looking surprised, said, "Oh, all right, Emmett. But the minute that dog gets too loud he's going right back outside," she declared.
Emmett whooped in delight, and Bella flinched slightly, but then she followed Emmett to the door. Jake came bounding inside and stopped to push his velvety nose into Bella's outstretched hands. Bella stroked his russet fur before throwing her arms around the dog with a smile of peace on her face.
"Well," said Alice happily, "I guess she likes dogs."