11:46 pm
August 6, 1999

Clarita was sitting in front of the television, but she wasn't watching it. Staring at it, perhaps, but not really seeing the images on the screen. It had become her habit to come home to her apartment, pour herself a stiff drink, and sit quietly on the sofa for awhile before turning in. She had no social activities, here, no friends. All she had was her work, and even that was a lie. How could she throw herself into saving a life in the operating room, when she knew that she was working for people who condoned murder? She had been wrestling with that dilemma for months now, and was no closer to an answer than she had been at the beginning. Because there was no answer. Faith-None of this calling her 'the Beta', she was a person. At least, she had been, when her brain was still functional. Faith had to die, she accepted that. She could even try and ignore the horrible manner of that planned death; ritual sacrifice to the demonic ruler of some other plane. What she could not ignore was the knowledge that the girl in the coma was going to be the first of many to die, in order for their faction's plans to proceed.

Several weeks ago, one of Ian's secret cabal had made the trip to Sunnydale to check on her. To her surprise and delight, it had been James. The man might be one of the Council's most dangerous agents, but he was also a charming, witty man, and they had shared several very pleasurable liaisons in the past. They had certainly been on track that night to add another pleasant memory to those they already shared, but something had happened. In a rare lapse in discipline, he had had one drink too many, and when she had expressed her doubts about Ian's plans, he had waxed eloquent about what exactly those plans entailed.

The Council Elder was more ambitious than Clarita had dreamed, and more ruthless. The extent of his ambition was awe-inspiring, but it was his near-term goals that had chilled her to her very soul. He planned to wipe out the Watchers. Those who were not part of his organization already, anyway. The rest would be killed, murdered in some horrible 'accident' that he would engineer. Even the rogue Slayer, Buffy, was to be disposed of, to prevent her (and her equally-rogue Watcher) from interfering with Ian's plans. Clarita had been horrified at these revelations, and James had soon realized how indiscreet he had been. He had departed soon thereafter, and since that night she had been tortured by indecision.

What could she do? Was it even her place to attempt to stop what was to happen? Ian was so persuasive, so righteous in his plans to defend humanity against its unseen enemies. No doubt if she spoke to him, he would explain everything, tell her why it had to be this way.

Or perhaps he would simply have James, or someone like him 'remove' her.

She needed another drink. Levering herself to her feet, she turned-and gave a little shriek.

Janice stared at her coolly, no expression on that incongruously youthful face. She was sitting cross-legged atop Clarita's bar, those eyes seeming to absorb the light, making that side of the room dimmer than it should have been. The older woman sagged back down into the sofa, trying to regain her composure.

"W-what are you doing here?" She wanted to make it a demand, but the tremble in her voice dashed any hope of that. The girl tilted her head slightly.

"I go where I wish. I am no vampire, barred from a place unless invited. Did I startle you?" She didn't smile, but there it was plain that she was amused by Clarita's reaction.

Bitch.

"No, not at all." She could stand, now, so she did. Her knees barely shook at all. "I didn't expect to see you, is all. Would you like something? Some tea?"

"No, thank you." Those eyes followed her as she moved into the kitchen nook to prepare some anyway. Another glass of brandy would have been better, but nothing was going to make her go near the bar while the young sorceress was sitting on it. "I trust all is well, here?"

Clarita busied herself with finding some biscuits to have with her tea. Anything to keep from having to go back in there. Why did the girl disturb her so? The fact that she was a magician, that for her the normal rules of the universe did not apply? Or was it something darker, the knowledge that she bartered with the very creatures of evil that the Watchers were sworn to destroy. Maybe it was simply that Janice scared the shit out of her, simple as that.

"Oh, everything is fine, thanks. I have my papers, now, so I'm allowed to practice on surgical patients. Before that, it was all I could do to let me be there in an 'advisory capacity'. The research I'm doing as a cover is actually going very well; I may be able to publish in a few more months. That is, if I'm still here in a few months." She turned suddenly, her eyes widening. "Is that why you've come? Have they found Faith's heir?"

Janice was no longer sitting on the bar; she was standing in front of the television, staring at the screen with a slightly puzzled expression on her face. It looked for all the world as if she had no idea what she was looking at. The doctor found herself wondering again how a woman as young, and, well, cute was the only way to describe it, could be so intimidating. She glanced over at Clarita, and a scowl flitted across her features.

"'Faith'?" She stared unblinkingly for a moment, and then shook her head. "No, not yet. We knew that the Beta's," She placed a slight emphasis on the term. "Line would be difficult to locate, but so far it has exceeded even our most pessimistic estimates. No matter." She crossed her arms, tucking her small hands into the flaring sleeves of her blouse. "I've nearly convinced Ian that less... conservative magicks will be needed. I expect that we will have results fairly soon." She glided closer to where Clarita stood, drawing to a stop just a pace or two away. "Patience, doctor. Soon your task here will be over."

The way she said that didn't make it sound reassuring. The older woman was certain that the girl was doing it on purpose. She seemed to get some kind of boost out of causing fear in others. Well, that would only work for so long. Clarita Laidlow could be as cool as anyone, once she had gotten her bearings.

"I see. Well, will you be in town long? I could show you some decent places in town to eat. Nothing compared to London, of course, but we could hardly expect that now, could we?"

The sorceress turned away, moving slowly around the room, her gaze taking in every detail.

"No, we will not be staying." Her back was turned, but she still seemed to see Clarita's confusion. "James is with me, as escort. You know each other well, if I recall?"

"Yes. We're old friends." Where was he then? If he was in town, why hadn't he come to see her? Was he avoiding her because of what had passed between them the last time?"

"James is at the hospital, checking on the Beta. We can't risk anything happening to her before we locate the next, and there was a report of a disturbance in her room this evening."

Clarita felt the blood leave her face.

"What sort of disturbance? Was the girl hurt?"

"Not according to what we were told. Still, he thought it best if he go and investigate. Don't worry," Janice actually smiled, which only made her face seem more inhuman. "I've found James to be quite capable. In many ways."

The teakettle began to whistle, which spared Clarita of any need to respond in a civil fashion.

* * * * *

It was her seventh trip across the pool, and she was really starting to feel it. She'd always been a good swimmer, even before becoming a Slayer. That was what made this so irritating. She was getting stronger, but her endurance was still way below where it should have been. She could have swam a mile or two easy, back when she was ten. Now a fraction of that was leaving her winded. There was no help for it, though. She had to leave, and she'd decided that it would be tomorrow night. This would be her last outing with Kira.

Faith reached the edge of the pool and grabbed it, tossing her head to get her hair out of her eyes. The pool was a good-sized one, hidden down in the first basement level back behind the physical therapy department. A little experimenting with a ring of keys she had stolen from the janitor's closet had let the two of them inside, and she had gleefully shucked down to her underwear and dove in. She would rather have gone in naked, but hey, there was a kid here. Kira had been less eager to get wet. There she was now, still sitting on one of the benches, watching uneasily. Faith used a hand to splash a little water at the girl, then she allowed herself to drift towards the shallow end.

"I'm telling you, it's not cold at all. They have to heat it, when they put the pool inside like this."

Kira stared at the water distrustfully.

"I told you, I don't want to swim."

Faith sighed. The younger girl was not taking her looming departure well.

"But you know how?"

That got her a sullen look.

"Sure I know how. I just don't want to."

The Slayer waded up to the steps and climbed out. Water dripping from her, she walked to where Kira was sitting and knelt beside her.

"Listen, I'm sorry I have to leave, but that's just the way it is. I probably shouldn't even have said anything to you, but-"

"No! You promised not to leave without telling me!" The girl sounded fierce, and Faith sat back on her heels to look at her.

"Yeah, I promised you. So I told you, and now look at how you're acting. I was hoping we could have some fun tonight. Come on, you can't have many chances to go swimming the way they keep you cooped up."

Kira was quiet for so long that the she was wondering what was wrong, when she noticed tears brimming in the child's eyes.

"Faith? Do you think... maybe.... Would it be okay if I went with you when you leave?"

The Slayer slipped off of her heels and sat down on the rough concrete floor.

"Fuck."

The girl had clasped her little hands together in front of her, squeezing so hard that they were shaking.

"Please Faith, let me come. I won't be any trouble at all, I promise!"

Faith stared into those eyes for a long moment before closing her own and letting herself lean back until she was lying on the floor. She pressed the heels of her hands into her forehead as hard as she could.

"God, Kira. God, goddess, gods... slimy little demon things.... I was hoping you wouldn't put me through this." There was no response, and she really didn't want to know what the kid's face looked like. "I can't. I just can't. You don't know what you'd be letting yourself in for, hanging with me. The stuff I have to do, just to survive out there... you don't want to see it; I don't want you to live it." She grimaced. "No matter what some people say, I'm not a psycho. Not enough of one to screw up a little kid, anyway. No; I'm not going to do that to you."

"It's not like I have it so good here." Kira's voice was barely a whisper. "I don't mind if you do bad things, Faith. Stealing stuff isn't so awful, compared to what some people do."

She took her hands away and sat up, glaring at the girl.

"You've got no idea what you're talking about. You might think you know me, but you don't. Not even close!" She tried to stay mad; mad was good, it would make this easier. She tried, but she couldn't. "Kira.... I'm sorry about what's happened to you. It's awful, and if I could make it better then I would. But coming with me isn't going to make things better for you. It would probably get you killed in a hurry." She waved a hand up at the ceiling, indicating the hospital above them. "You have to stay here if you want to get your medicine, right? And, and, food when you want it. I'm not even sure I can take care of myself, I know I can't take care of you, too."

The girl wouldn't meet her eyes. She stared down at her bare feet instead, rubbing her toes along the damp floor.

"I don't need any medicine; it just makes me feel worse. I don't eat much, either. You wouldn't have to get me anything special, and maybe I could even help you." She wiped at her face and sniffed loudly, trying not to let Faith see her cry. Trying to be strong. Shit. When she looked up, her face was so full of desperation that it made the Slayer's gut hurt like she had been stabbed again. "Nobody here cares about me Faith. Nobody will get near me, or even talk to me. Except you." She sat there, begging with her eyes.

Even when she was laying in a bed, blinded and unable to move, she had never felt this helpless. There was nothing she could do or say that wouldn't hurt the little girl. Faith knew what it felt like to be hurt, over and over, by people who seemed to care about her. She knew what that was like, and that was why she tried not to get pulled in again. She'd been afraid that something like this would happen with Kira; she had known that it was coming, but she still hadn't been able to prevent it from happening. Just like those stupid Slayer dreams. What good did they do, if you couldn't keep what you saw from happening?

So what did she do now? She thought it over, and tried not to look at the girl who was waiting anxiously, needing to hear her speak, but afraid of what she would say.

"I... suppose the way to go is to not worry about what could happen, just deal with what is happening. Right now, you want to go with me. Later you might change your mind, or something bad might happen, but right now you really want to go. Right?" Kira nodded wordlessly, her eyes wide. "Okay then. We'll give it a try."

The girl stared at her for several long seconds.

"Does that mean yes?" She sounded like she was scared to believe it. Faith nodded, not sure she believed it herself.

"Yeah. That means yes."

Kira flung herself into Faith's arms, hugging her as tight as she could. She was crying freely now, with her sobs being interspaced with little bursts of laughing as she tried to deal with her sudden good fortune. The Slayer smiled, ignoring the nagging part of her that was whispering that this would end badly, that it couldn't end any other way. That would come later, if later ever came. Life was short, after all. The girl might actually outlive her by a good long while. She stood up, cradling Kira in her arms. The child giggled, swinging her legs back and forth, but she didn't struggle too hard, even when Faith walked to the edge of the pool and gently tossed her into the water.

Their laughter soon echoed from the drab walls that surrounded them.

* * * * *