A/N Okay, this chapter is a bit weird.... It deals a lot more closely with what's going on with everyone, but most of it is coming directly from Edward's perceptions, and even his impressions aren't always right. Right now he's very confused, and I hope that his mindset comes across in the dialogue.. Poor Edward just wants to help (and understand) everyone... but I don't think he can all the time. So don't trust everything he says in this section, especially since a lot of what he says is rather disjointed. :o)

I also have a moment between Alice and Jasper. It was a difficult section to write, but I hope everyone enjoys it.

Oh, and at the very end, pay attention to what Bella does to Emmett. I wrote the section with you in mind, Lil Dinky, since you're always so prepared to review what happens with Emmett! :o)

Please review! I'll give you an apple pie (I'm from the South... it seems appropriate). :o)

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

Chapter Nine: Aftermath

In the aftermath of Esme's revelations Edward was so convinced that Bella would talk that he waited hourly for it. As the days passed and there was no sign that she would, he became frustrated and confused.

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People talking without speaking,

People hearing without listening…

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One evening he went to Carlisle's office to ask him about it. He was reading a medical journal at his desk and Esme was with him. She was curled up in one of Carlisle's leather chairs, looking at wallpaper samples for their bedroom.

"Carlisle," Edward asked tentatively. "Why isn't Bella talking yet? I thought for sure once Esme … told her story that she would."

"Edward," he sighed. "When Bella was first examined she was diagnosed with a rare disorder called psychogenic aphonia. In her case, it is psychologically induced muteness. I didn't know much about it before I came into contact with Bella, so I have had to do a bit of study on the disease. It's what I'm doing right now, actually," he admitted in a tired voice, gesturing to the journal in his lap.

Edward could only imagine how exhausted Carlisle must be after coming in from a shift at the emergency room knowing that he still needed to study up on the psychological problems of his children.

"Usually the disorder arises because of physiological problems involving the larynx or other muscles surrounding the larynx," he said. He folded the medical journal and placed it on his desk. He leaned forward in his chair and looked at Edward intensely.

"Those problems can be exacerbated by psychological ones, however. In scenarios such as these, the patients may suffer from a kind of social anxiety disorder. They may find it difficult to speak about conflicts and feelings, and they follow social conventions to an excessive extent in a desperate attempt to allay feelings of stress and tension. It is as if they believe that if they follow the rules ordering a given situation perfectly, then they will be able to eradicate any stress that may arise from it. In these cases, patients may also react aggressively towards themselves rather than towards others because they are too quick to take the blame for problems that may arise in their relationships with people," he continued.

Carlisle smiled sadly at him and said, "Bella's case is extremely unusual. Most patients who suffer from this kind of disease are at least able to whisper, cough, grunt or moan. Bella is unable or perhaps unwilling to communicate at all. Furthermore, while she does show signs of stress and anxiety in large groups – understandable given her background – she seems to trust us, especially you, Edward. I just don't see the kind of self-blame or anxiety in her actions towards us that is associated with other patients who have this disease."

"She did blame herself for what happened to her mother," Edward pointed out softly.

Carlisle sighed and said, "True, but, again, that is an extremely unusual situation. She seems to only blame herself for that one thing. She just doesn't seem to show broader aspects of social anxiety disorder. Furthermore, she's tense around others for a very specific reason. I'm assuming that it's because she doesn't want someone to hit her again. Those who suffer from a social anxiety disorder fear much more nebulous things: saying the wrong thing, being caught in an embarrassing situation…. "

Carlisle moved his hands in a gesture of helplessness and finished, "Because of the severity of her situation, Bella may never be able to get around what caused her to stop speaking. She is in counseling and in speech therapy, but it may take Bella years to fully work through what happened in her past."

"Edward," said Esme softly. "It took me ten years before I was able to speak of Charles to anyone but Carlisle. I imagine it will take Rosalie just as long to talk about what happened to her the night her parents died. Give Bella time."

"It's just…" he began, "She seems so much more willing to trust people than anyone else in this house that I thought … she would be talking by now."

"What do you mean, son?" asked Carlisle.

"Well … none of the others really trusts anyone, except maybe Emmett. Rosalie really did hate herself when she came here… The starvation and the cuts…. And it made her hate everyone around her… Rosalie doesn't want to trust people, and Jasper is afraid to trust people. Alice is afraid too, I think," he said.

He pinched the bridge of his nose for a few moments before he concluded bitterly, "And I think Rosalie blames herself for what happened to her, just like Jasper blames himself for not being able to protect her … And Emmett blames himself for not being able to take care for his brothers … and Alice blames herself for causing her mother to abandon her … And that blame causes each of us to pull back from those around us. We seem unable to reach out … to admit why we're angry … "

He glanced up and saw that Carlisle and Esme looked very sad.

"Well, do you really blame us?" he asked cynically.

Carlisle ran his hand through his hair and asked tiredly, "What can we do to help, Edward? Do you and the others need more counseling? Something different?"

"Carlisle, some of us have been in counseling for years and I can't see how it's helped much. Alice still can't face getting close to anyone. Oh, she seems happpy enough – but I don't think, for all her energy, that she allows anyone to get close to her. Jasper loves Alice and Rosalie and no one else. I think Rosalie is only just now beginning to understand why she behaved the way she did when she first came to us..." he said in a resigned voice.

"Emmett is the only one who doesn't seem to blame himself and who is still able to trust. But since I've never talked with him about it, I can only guess. Who knows what will happen now that he's lost contact with his last brother," he said bitterly.

Esme came and put her arm around Edward's shoulders.

"Bella was just able to get Rosalie to talk about it for once at Thanksgiving. And you know what I think? I think she did more good than a hundred counseling sessions when she told Rosalie she wished she could be strong like her…. And she's the only one who really addressed the issue when Emmett got his package returned last week. I mean... we all tried, but there's only so much I can do... And Emmett just .... Rosalie doesn't... " he finished, frustrated at his inability to explain what he meant.

Esme sighed and said, "Rosalie and Emmett need time, just like all of you need time. Healing doesn't happen overnight. If what you're saying is true, then Bella has been a catalyst the past few weeks for healing…."

Carlisle added, "Healing can sometimes come from unusual places. And you would be surprised at how often it is echoed between people. You may think that Bella is helping Rosalie. But in the process of helping Rosalie, Bella may be helped as well."

"Give it time and see what happens," said Esme softly.

Edward nodded in frustration and said goodnight.

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People writing songs that voices never share…

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He was walking through the kitchen when he heard voices in the living room.

"Jasper, would you please just leave me alone!" said Alice in an irritated voice.

Edward stumbled back. He had never heard Alice speak in that tone of voice before.

"Alice, just tell me," said Jasper fiercely.

Edward stopped. He shifted his feet, but he couldn't get upstairs without walking through the living room.

"Alright," she hissed. There was a moment of silence.

"I'm just upset about what Esme told us," she said.

Edward sighed. Esme's story had affected more of them than just Bella.

"Alice, that isn't all of it, and you know it," said Jasper severely. "Now, what is going on? Why are you so angry and upset?"

He paused for the briefest moment. "Why won't you let me help you?" he asked sadly.

"I don't know!" she almost shouted. "I just know that I came here, and I was happy! I went to school, I went shopping and I helped Esme… I didn't want or need anything else…." Her voice got softer near the end, before it just trailed off.

"What are you saying, Alice?" asked Jasper in a frustrated voice. "That you don't need anything but school and shopping to make you happy? Or wait… is it that you're fine as long as you don't have to hear the skeletons in anyone's closets? Are you happy as long as everyone around you is happy, as long as they don't bother you with their problems? Or is it that you don't need any help at all? Do you not need me?"

Edward had never heard Jasper say so much before. He was always the quiet one -- always the one watching. But now it was as if he had come uncorked.

"No!" hissed Alice. "You don't understand at all!"

"Then tell me, Alice," retorted Jasper. "I can't read your mind!"

"I did tell you! I. Don't. Know!" raged Alice.

Jasper strode forcefully over to Alice and grabbed her shoulders.

"Alice, I need to know what you're thinking. I need to know why you're afraid. Please talk to me… not about shopping or school or anything else. Talk to me about you … for once," he said in a surprisingly gentle voice.

Alice stood stiffly for a moment before she crumpled against Jasper and starting crying.

"I really don't know, Jasper," she whispered. "I don't analyze everything like Edward does. I just know that being around Rosalie and Bella, and now Esme, makes me feel … afraid, I guess."

Jasper stroked Alice's back and said, "I don't understand."

"Even after everything that has happened to them, they can still, I don't know, have faith in the people around them. Rosalie already loves Emmett. She would stake her life on the fact that he loves her and won't leave her...."

Edward silently conceded Alice's point. Maybe Rosalie was healing more than he thought if she had been able to bring herself to trust Emmett

"And Bella…. I don't know what she's been through, but it was horrible, whatever it was. And she loves Edward."

Edward went absolutely still when Alice said that.

He was so shocked that he almost missed Jasper's response, "You can trust me, Alice. I won't leave you."

"I know," she said. "But it scares me that you might."

Edward knew, although Alice probably didn't yet, that Jasper couldn't leave Alice. He had to protect her. He was afraid of something happening to Alice … like what had happened to Rosalie… and Esme. She was so small…

Edward even wondered if Esme's story had made him more paranoid, knowing that pain, abuse and abandonment had occurred in the life of one more person he loved, and that there had been nothing he could do to stop it.

Alice didn't just need to talk to Jasper. Jasper needed to talk to Alice.

"I can't leave you, Alice," Jasper whispered. "I love you."

Alice was silent for a moment before she murmured, "I love you too."

Jasper was silent for several minutes, just rubbing Alice's back in soothing circles.

"You've kept me waiting a long time," Jasper said contentedly.

"I'm sorry, sir," said Alice with one of her tinkling laughs. Then she danced up the stairs with Jasper close behind her.

They were holding hands.

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And no one dared

Disturb the sound of silence…

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Edward went upstairs a few minutes later, deep in thought.

He wanted to see Bella.

He peeked into the girls' room, but it was empty. He thought that Rosalie was probably down in the garage, and he didn't even want to think about where Alice and Jasper were at the moment.

He finally found Bella in the boys' room, watching Emmett play Halo. She was curled up on the floor, with her arms around her knees.

"Come on, Bella," wheedled Emmett. "Don't you want to play?"

Bella just grinned and shook her head. She wrote on her tablet, "I like to watch you play, big brother!"

So many emotions passed through Emmett's eyes when he saw the words that Edward had trouble identifying them…. Happiness? Exhilaration? Tenderness? Protectiveness? A sense of belonging? He looked changed somehow… At peace now that he had Bella to protect and Rosalie to love…

While Edward was thinking, she looked up and saw him in the doorway. Her smile became shy and her face flushed.

He continued to stare at her, memorizing every feature of her face. He smiled and sat down next to her.

She really was his sunshine.