Ron led the way towards the dungeons while Harry brought up the rear. Ron had somehow pressured the already wary Harry into sneaking out to do this. It didn't take much to convince Harry to tag along; it was after all for Hermione's benefit. Harry had reassured his friend that Hermione and Ron would finally be together, although Harry's own outlook on his future regarding Ginny Weasley was bleak. The two searched the halls for a stray Slytherin without much success until they nearly ran into Millicent Bulstrode. They followed her quietly as she returned to her house. As she entered the passageway to the common room, Harry and Ron slipped through undetected.

They stood to the corner as the Slytherins that remained in the common room began to make their way to their dorms. Harry reached into his cloak pocket and retrieved his faithful Marauder's Map only to see that Malfoy was not in his dorm. In fact he wasn't in the dungeons at all. Harry's eyes frantically searched the map looking for a dot labeled "Draco Malfoy." Finally Malfoy appeared on the map near the stairs to the dungeons. The two remained under the invisibility cloak until Malfoy entered the common room. Ron slipped out of the cloak and into the shadows while Harry crept up behind Malfoy. Harry managed to perform a silencing charm on Malfoy wordlessly, while Ron stepped out of the shadows. Malfoy began to flail about and attempted to remove the charm himself, but was stopped when Ron whispered, "Expelliarmus" and Harry added his "Petrificus Totalus." Wandless and motionless, Malfoy wasn't given much of an opportunity to defend himself.

"We'll remove all the spells if you talk," Ron stated bluntly. Malfoy was restored to his mobile state, but Ron held onto the wand just in case.

"What do you want?" Malfoy sneered, accepting his disadvantages.

"I think you know why we're here," Ron answered. Harry for once backed down and stood watch at the entrances to the dorms. Ron needed to fight this battle for himself.

Malfoy smirked. "You're concerned about your little girlfriend and her insatiable appetite for me."

"We both know she hates you." Even in the dim candlelight of the room, it was quite clear that Ron was turning a deep shade of red. His fingers closed tightly around Malfoy's wand, feeling the wood start to crack slightly.

"You're being strangely articulate. Well in response to that Weasel, I plan on changing that."

Ron's initial response was to ask him how, but for perhaps the first time in his life, Ron restrained himself, afraid of the answer Malfoy would give. "You could have the pick of any girl here," he muttered through clenched teeth.

Malfoy agreed. "You're quite right. Look there."

Ron looked over to where Malfoy was pointing. It was a wall with pictures of scantily clad girls. Upon closer inspection, Ron realized that many of them were sixth and seventh years girls in their underwear. A scroll hung atop the wall with the words, "Wall of Shame," written across them. Ron drew back, repulsed at the sight.

"What's wrong Weasel? Too much for you?" Malfoy snarled. Ron looked over at Harry who shook his head in disgust.

"Malfoy-"

"Actually, your girlfriend will be my biggest conquest."

Harry stepped forward and grabbed Ron's shoulder to hold him back. Ron grunted out some of his aggression, but was having difficulty containing himself.

"You heard about that poor girl?" Malfoy asked innocently.

"Which one?" Harry asked. Ron glared at his friend.

"The one they found brutally beaten in the garden."

"Yeah. I heard she was found almost naked. She was delusional and kept mumbling the same thing over and over. 'Home' she said," Harry trailed, horrified by the story he told. Ron glanced at him, as repulsed as Harry was.

Malfoy glared. "Maybe the bitch got what she deserved. Those things don't happen unless provoked," he hissed. There was triumph written in his eyes. Ron felt the malice and the hatred encircling Malfoy, and began to feel ill.

Harry took this as his cue to remove Ron from the room. Harry unfolded the cloak and pushed Ron towards the door. Ron snatched the cloak out of Harry's arms and stormed towards the door. He stopped and growled, "Don't do anything stupid Malfoy. We wouldn't want you in trouble, now." Harry continued to lead Ron out before either one of them started something they would regret.

Harry navigated the way back to the dorm with the aid of his map. Ron walked behind him mutely. After a few moments of silence, Ron mumbled angrily, "Merlin, I wish that bastard was dead. I'd be the one to send him to his grave, gladly."

Harry snorted in amusement. "The daisies in the dell will give out a different smell because poor Ferret is underneath the ground," Ron continued. They returned to the dorm slightly shaken by Malfoy's psychotic ramblings playing in their heads. Ron finally closed his eyes after vowing to give his life to protect Hermione.

Draco Malfoy did not take threats easily. For years now he had to deal with the prefect Golden Trio and their seemingly wholesome characteristics. Draco sneered as he made his way over to an armchair. "All the things I wish for will turn out like I want them to be," he comforted himself. He thought of Ron and gritted his teeth in frustration. "I'm better than that smart ass weasel who thinks he is better than me," he growled. He smirked as he spied his hazy reflection in window. Even in the dim moonlight he saw that he was still the picture of perfect refinement, with the finest school robes and well-bred features. He would prove that the high-born always got what they wanted. This time he wanted Hermione Granger, and if his past was any sign, he would get her. "I'm not gonna leave her alone. I'm going outside, and get myself a bride. Get that woman to call my own," he resolved as he began plotting his next move. This time there would be no interruptions from Weasley and Potter. He would make sure of it.

A/N: Okay so this is about done. As I see it, there's about four more chapters left to go. I hope people are enjoying this because I think I've spent too much time this summer reading Harry Potter. Not that that's necessarily a bad thing, just that I've been really lazy about everything else. Im me, e-mail me, beg me to write. I need motivation people, and you're my only hope. By the way, I know everyone is OOC that's the whole point. People...parody. I was bored and listening to the Oklahoma soundtrack. I've said this before. Anyways, enjoy.

Ooooh, what's gonna happen next? If you've seen the musical you probably know. Does Draco get his wish? Does Ron save Hermione?Is Hermione going to burst out into song? Are acromantulas invading my bedroom? (No but ants are.) Have I seen Sense and Sensibilty and have really considered forgiving Snape for being such a horrible bastard in the 6th book? Okay yeah, for a split second, then I realized that Colonel Brandon was Alan Rickman, not Snape. Snape is evil, regardless of who portrays him in the movies. Okay I'm done.