A/N:
First I would like to give a BIG THANK YOU to:
Oceanluvr
Twiharder8
Princess britny
For there never failing reviews, in almost every chapter.. Its reviewers like them that make me want to keep writing this story.. I have a lot of alerts and favs for this story, but they review all the time..
Also my new reviewers..
Manatee7
charvie
So thank you!!!!
Now hopefully I can get more reviews!! There are a lot of people who take the time to read this story, but not a lot that take the time to review it… so if you read the story, please review.. Itll make me crank the chapters out that much quicker!!
Review review please and thank you!!!
Tell me what you think.
Chapter 11: Breaking Point
Failure it's a part of life , right? Even an immortal one. I had failed. Victoria had escaped, again. She had snuck past me, through my hands like sand. The trail I had followed was gone. It was dark when I stood at the edge of a lake, far in the woods. where Victoria's scent had disappeared. She had obviously known that I had been following her and now, she was well and truly rid of me. I had circled the lake more than once, even twice. Nothing, not one single scent. I even stooped to looking in the lake. Shows what a sucker I was.
I had successfully followed her for a while, but I was always several steps behind. New to tracking.
I was very slow, and spent to long in one place, going over every possible thing, ever turn out every possible out come, every possible escape. I spent to long looking at everything over analyzing it all, and as a result she was always just out of reach, like she was teasing me, like she knew I was there, she knew I was behind her. And she just liked toying with me.
She was always one step ahead, and now she was gone.
What a pathetic attempt, what a waste of the last few months! I had followed her, tracked her, all for nothing.
She had tricked me, I thought I was on her tail. Reality I was so far off, she had led me in the wrong direction. Now I had no idea where she was. I tried to ask Alice. But I didn't know where she was. Her phone was off.
When she finally did call me, all she said was she couldn't tell where she was heading, or where she was. Just glimpse of things here and there, trees, a lake, dead body, but nothing concrete, nothing to lead me in the right direction.
So I was stuck, stuck again in my own personal agonizing hell.
The game was over. She had won and my distraction was no more.
Broken hearts, I didn't think the word was so literal till now. I felt so broken.
Nothing was left of me, I was empty. A shell of my former self. Lifeless, and dead.
I had to find something to take my mind away from it all. Numb the pain just a little make it bearable.
Maybe I would go see Tanya in Alaska. But would that be to close? Would I be able to handle not going to see her? Check up on her?
My phone buzzed in my pocket.. I hesitated to open it at first.. Then I flipped it open quickly not recognizing the number, but the same not caring.
"Don't."
"Alice?" my voice croaked. I hadn't realized how little I had talked to anyone for a while. I cleared my throat. "Don't what?"
"You wont be able to resist going, and if you go check on her you wont leave her again." she paused, anger still coated her words. "I don't know why I am telling you this maybe because I know if you do, you'll make everyone else even more miserable than we already are with out her."
"Alice." I didn't know what to say, Alice saw me going, saw me staying, it was what she wanted since we left. To go back, grab Bella and plead for forgiveness. Why tell warn me not to do the very thing she wanted, the very thing my entire being ached and pleaded for.
"Where are you? What are you doing?" I decided to change the subject entirely. Stray from something far away from Bella.
Click.
The line went dead.
Alice was gone.
My subconscious suddenly brought a wave of memories to the surface. That first day in the biology classroom, that heart-wrenching night in Port Angeles, our pivotal few hours in our meadow, holding Bella close as she cried about the love lost in "Romeo and Juliet." and the end. Her face held an expression that would haunt me for the rest of eternity. My heart ached to remember that. I pushed it away.
I was the lion and she was the lamb, she was my prey.
It's for Bella's own good, I reminded myself, And you promised it will be as though you never existed to her! My own words played back in my mind, each syllable causing me physical pain deep in my chest. Suddenly, I felt my legs crumple beneath me, knees landing on the moist dirt of the hotel room floor.
I shook it off, and stood up.
I was caught once again my the agonizing pain in my chest. I crumpled onto the bed and pulled the pillow close to my body. Hugging it, preying for it to take the pain from my body.
This pain was unbearable. Worse than my transformation, or all my years of loneliness. But in retrospect, what was it, really? In comparison to Bella's happiness? Her safety was worth a lifetime of this. Yes it was. There was no question.
I mean this was bound to happen sooner or later. It wasn't natural for humans to be so close, to close. to the immortal, to their instinctive killers. Perhaps Bella wasn't a danger magnet, but rather someone who simply ran with the wrong crowd.
It wouldn't be long before Bella was back along the path she was meant to take; the path destiny had set out before her. She would move on, graduate, go to college, fall in love, and start a family. That was how it should be. That was what mortals what humans were supposed to do. They were not supposed to be or even deal with the things that nightmares are made of. Monsters should be left there, in the darkness of there dreams.
Bella should be a human and experience everything I could never hope to offer her. I didn't doubt that she was in love with me, it was written on her face every time our eyes met, but I wasn't foolish enough to think she wouldn't recover. She would move on. She had to move on. In time, I would just be a faint memory. If anything at all.
Right?
Yes, I had to believe she would move on.
I couldn't keep thinking of her, I had to find a distraction. Go visit tanya, but I knew Alice was right. I would not leave again. I couldn't not after knowing how it would feel. I needed something to take my mind off of Bella.
I knew If I couldn't find another distraction, and soon. I wouldn't be able to handle it anymore; the pain, the suffering, the ache, the missing her every second of every day. I couldn't handle it.
The memories I had of her were all to perfect, they were all so real. Except one. The one that haunted me day in and day out. I tried to think of the good with Bella. And all I got was the very last look on her face. The emptiness as she looked at me, It was as if I could hear and feel her very own heart break. Just as mine did.
I couldn't do it, I could not live like this. This was my breaking point, I had nothing left. I couldn't anymore. Alice was right about one thing, I would not leave again.
I needed to see her again. I needed to hear her voice, feel her touch, tell her that I love her, erasing all memory of the past few months and claim her once again as my own. I needed to hear her say that she still loved me. How terribly selfish was I that even though I left her, a part of me hoped that her love for me would never die; but I did. I wanted her, I needed her and I could not carry on this way.
REVIEW!!! COME ON I KNOW YOU ALL CAN DO IT!! PLEASE AND THANK YOU!
THE MORE YOU REVIEW THE FASTER I COME OUT WITH THE NEXT CHAPTER.
SO.. YA LIKE!?!? LOL
WELL REVIEW… TELL ME WATCHA THINK!