A/N:

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Chapter 13: Gone

"What?" I growled as I put my head on the steering wheel. Rosalie was the last person I wanted to deal with right now. I had enough conflict in my head as it was. I didn't need any more.

"Come home!"

There was no question, no polite please come home. Just an order. I huffed in definance. Who was she to order me?

"She's dead Edward, just come back." her voice was softer.

I paused. Alice? What had happen, or Esme? Oh god, my family what had happen? Who was dead? You cant just say she's dead, and leave it like that. Who does that?

I lifted my head up quickly. Trying to calm myself. My body was beginning to tremble. Who else had I lost? First Bella, and now who.

"What do you mean? who?" I barely whispered.

She paused and didn't speak. First time rose had nothing to say.

"What?"

"Bella. There's nothing left for you out there. There's no reason to sulk." I couldn't even evaluate her voice, her speech, it was all just a buzz. That made no sense.

"What?"

"Alice just saw her jump off of a cliff."

I felt what little color was left in my face drain out. It was suddenly harder to swallow. My body was rigid, involuntary spasm of gasp erupt through my lungs as I tried to bring in air. Everything around me became a blur.

I closed my eyes as my entire being began to shake and tremble.

"What?" That seemed to be the only word I was capable of saying.

"Alice didn't see her resurface."

"No." it seemed like a good word. She was lying, she had to be.

"Listen Edward, she wasn't my favorite person in the world. I'm sorry I ever hated Bella. I wish I could have stopped her. I realize how much you love her and I wish that this never happened. But it doesn't change the fact."

"No." I insisted again.

"Edward! Bella. Bella is dead. She jumped off a cliff. Alice saw it, she's on here way to make sure Charlie is ok." She paused. "So there is no reason for you to be off somewhere sulking. Come back, the others need you," she insisted.

I couldn't hear it, I couldn't no. it must be a lie.

I shut the phone. Of course, I knew that Bella wouldn't live forever, but this was so soon. Too soon. This couldn't be. Was she so depressed by my departure to want to commit suicide? No, I was giving myself too much credit. It must have been something else. This had to be cruel lie.

I stared at the phone, heartbroken and tried to figuring out what to do. It couldn't be true, could it? I had to figure it out, and I had to know the truth.

I still held onto the phone, it was held tight in my hands that I was surprised it didn't crack under the pressure.

I dialed the number in less then a second, praying to god that Bella would answer and would be okay. She had to be ok. She had to, that was the whole point of me leaving. Was for her to live a long and happy life.

Rosalie's words couldn't be true. I couldn't allow them to be true. So why was I phoning the house? To hear her voice? To hear the truth for myself? Why on earth would I believe my sister?

Because in the deepest, darkest pit of my heart, I wondered if this was what I deserved.

"Hello?" I heard someone say into the phone and I opened my mouth to speak but froze. I need to figure out if she was okay. I had made a promise to her and myself that to her, I would no longer exist. I had to think quick. If she as happy and moved on I couldn't let my presence be known.

"Hello, this is Carlisle Cullen, I'm sorry to call but is Charlie there."

"No." I could tell by their tone that they were annoyed at me but I didn't care, I just need to know if Bella was okay.

"Do you know where he is?" I asked quickly, closing my eyes and praying for some sign that Bella was okay.

"He's at the funeral." It took less than a second for the words to sink in. That was all I needed to hear.

And I felt myself crumble. I wished I was human, just so I could actually cry. Cry for Bella. Cry for my loss.

I shut the phone once again and let out a strangled moan. My chest suddenly felt hollow and everything was a haze.

A cold so intense passed through my entire being. It sucked away every ounce of life, every ounce of my being, every ounce of hope and took it away…it took my reason to exist.

Rosalie had been right. My life had ended completely

I glanced outside at the darkness. It had began to rain sometime between Rosalie and now.

It seemed as if the rain had been waiting for this moment. To fill the area with the pain my heart provided. I stepped out of my car slowly shutting the door behind me.

I looked up at the sky. The moon glistened off my marble skin.

This was what I deserved.

I fell to the ground, running and tugging at my hair, sobs racked in my throat finally pushed there way out and echoed through the dark open space.

Everything was over.

There was nothing left at all.

I literally had nothing left.

The only reason for my existence was that Bella was alive and well some where.

And now, it was over, her life had ended. And so had mine.

Now, it could all end…

I would soon join her, or least pray that I could. In a place, where nothing would ever tear us apart again.

Carlisle's theory of an afterlife for our kind still seemed like something beyond any of our reach, especially for me, but if there was ever a time to wish it were true, it was now. If there was ever a moment to believe, that time was now. I had to believe there was something. That some way I could be with Bella again.

There was no question as to what I was going to do. My decision had been made a long time ago. All I had to do was say the words.

Everything suddenly flooded my mind.

'do I dazzle you?'

'frequently' she smiled at me.

'you are my life now'

The day the van came toward her.

Our first dinner together.

It was all over.

It was funny really. I had left to protect her but she still died. I released a bitter laugh.

As I gathered myself from the ground.

I looked up at the night sky as I opened the car door.

The rain splattered onto my face. Giving me the tears I so desperately wanted to shed.

The rain drops rain down my cheeks, this was it. This was far worse than any pain I had ever felt before. And I thought leaving her was the worst. I laughed at the irony in it. I had left to protect her, protect her from the monster, protect her so she couldn't get hurt again. So she wouldn't end up dead. And in the end, I had still lost her. I grabbed at my chest, the pain was unbearable. It was as if my chest was being ripped apart by ravenous wolves.

"Was this what you wanted? Is this my punishment?" I shouted into the heavens. "Then punish me! Leave Bella alone. I sacrificed my happiness, my life for her to live hers. Why?" I screamed. And collapsed yet again to the ground. I laid my head on the inside of my car door.

"I am a monster. I deserve this pain, but Bella? Why Bella." I whispered.

The thought of her dead tore me up. I released an agonized scream before completely crumbling onto the floor, burying my face in my arms.

The rain was beginning to soak through to my skin.

It all replayed in my head again.

I remember the conversation Bella and I shared that night as we watched Romeo and Juliet. I didn't know it then. didn't believe or want to except it then. But the plan I had come up with was coming in handy now.

I jumped up, determined.

I looked up to the heavens once more.

"Bella, I know I couldn't protect you and I am so sorry. For everything. I broke my promise. I hope you can forgive me. But maybe I can protect you now, In the afterlife. I love you. I promise I will find a way."

The rain soaked me, but with the image of Bella's lifeless body burned in my mind I knew what I had to do. Her fate had happened, and it was time for mine.

I raced to the nearest airport.

I asked the clerk for the first ticket to Italy. I was in luck. There was a direct flight leaving in an hour and there were a few seats left.

After paying for my ticket, I raced outside and threw my phone into the nearest trashcan. It wasn't as though I would need it ever again. I didn't think to phone the others. I didn't think at all. My heart and head only had room for one last act. Reaching the terminal in speeds not humanly possible. I didn't care anymore, nothing else mattered. It was over either way. I had nothing left. Bella was gone. She was gone from this earth, and soon I will be to.

I sat down and allowed myself to think of nothing but her. From now on, that was all I would do, until the moment that the Volturi granted my wish for death.

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