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Chapter 14: Truly Amazing

On the plane, I planned and thought. I would go straight to Aro and ask him to get rid of me. It was the only thing I could do.

Aro wouldn't want to. He'd think it was a waste. He'd been wanting me to join the Volturi guard for quite some time now. I had a special talent that Aro thought was very useful, and powerful. That was what he cared about, power. If you had power, you had everything. He had a knack for collecting various 'talents'.

My talent was not the only one like it out there. He would just have to do with out. I would not and could not go on, knowing Bella was no longer here.

Bella was gone. My love, my life, everything was gone.

I thought about Bella every minute of every day and still it was not enough. It had not been long enough.

I laughed silently. It was funny.

Ironic actually. I was about to give up and beg her to take me back before she decided to take her own life. Pain shot through my whole body again and it was hard to stay in my seat.

I sighed and looked out the window. What about my family, I still had them.

No, it wasn't enough. I couldn't put them through the pain and misery I feel. They would see it. Poor Jasper I would probably kill him.

I hoped they knew there was nothing they could do. I hoped they didn't try to stop me. Nothing any of them could say would ruin my plans, get me to change my mind.

I prayed that they would see there was no hope to save me, I was already gone.

I sighed again, knowing they would still try. Try and fail.

My mind was blank for quite some time. Nothing but pain and agony, replaying my life with Bella over and over again, until I couldn't take it anymore.

I huffed and wiped my face with my hands.

What if he Aro said no? Refused to take my life. What then? What would I do? What could I do? They were the Volturi. There was no disobeying them. Disobey and die.

And then it hit me, I would do something to expose them. Expose our kind, in there city. Hoist a car into the air. Throw a car. Something. I couldn't hurt anyone though. That just wasn't me.

I would ask first. It would be easier and faster that way. I didn't want my actions to cause any harm between Aro and the rest of my family.

As soon as the plane landed I was out and running toward the city. I had to do this, the pain was over whelming. I had lost Bella at first by my own choice, for the better. It was what was best for her. I only survived by knowing she was out there somewhere. And now, she was gone.

I was wondering how to ask. What would I say? I mean its not every day they get a suicidal vampire.

I figured it would be best to just come out and say it. No beating around the bush. The truth, always better.

I was inside before I could even think about it. There was no room for thinking anymore. I had to try to get to Bella. If only it was a fools hope, it was still hope.

I saw some of the guards walk down the corridor. I swiftly hid in the shadows around the corner.

Suddenly I was struck with a sharp pain that brought me to my knees. I fell over to the side. Writhing in pain. Suddenly it was over.

I opened my eyes slowly.

"Edward." Jane hissed through her teeth.

"Now, now Jane." Demitri sneered.

"What brings you here?" Felix asked.

"I need to speak to Aro." I paused. "Now." I was getting impatient.

"What business do you have with Aro?"

"Jane, its my business isn't it?" I replied.

"This way." Demitri pressed as he swept past me.

I followed closely behind, with Jane and Felix on my heals.

"Go in." Felix said as he pushed a wide door open.

In the dark room we passed a human receptionist. I was slightly saddened, I knew what they had in store for her when they no longer found her useful.

I was then forcefully escorted down a more brightly corridor to the grand hall.

Aro and his ancient brethren were all there. Along with there wives and guards.

Jane took her place. She turned and grinned at me maliciously.

"Edward." Aro said excitedly. "What brings you here? I hope all is well with Carlisle?"

"The rest of my family is fine and well."

"Please do tell Carlisle I said hello when you next see him." he replied.

I heard Caius growl grumpily in his head, he was confused as to why I was here.

"Aro, I must ask a favor of you. Something that I need done, as soon as possible. No time like the present." I tried to smile.

He stepped toward me instantly with a smile of his own.

"May I?" he raised his hand out in front of me.

I took a casual stone face that shown no emotion. I slowly stretched out my hand, and placed it on his.

Suddenly there was a rush of color, and everything moved rapidly in my head. Everything I had ever seen or thought. It was all getting sucked out of my head. I could honestly say my life was flashing before my eyes.

Everything was there, my human life, my transformation. My first years as a vampire, joining Carlisle's family. Everyone else joining also. Finally the last months with Bella. They were the worst, it was all more real seen this way. Seeing the memories brought on a more painful realization of what I had lost.

"Oh Edward." His tone was disapproving.

"You see my problem."

"Edward, you want to end your existence?" He sounded disappointed.

"Immediately," I repeated.

Some of the other vampires stirred where they stood, I blocked out the buzz of noise coming from them. Some were shocked and appalled, others were confused.

"Well, I was hoping you would join me. Join the guard instead." he paused as he released my hand from his grasp. "You would be a wonderful asset. Your talent! Truly amazing."

"I do not wish to join you Aro, I am sorry. Maybe if the circumstances were different, but I can not see my self existing with out her. It is all to much to handle."

"Truly amazing."

I was confused, I stopped, I just stood there staring at him, waiting for him to continue.

"Not only your talent of course. But the idea of a human and a vampire. Existing as one? In love none the less. I understand your way of life, but to be that close to a human? Truly amazing. To fall in love with one, and vise versa."

"You saw it all, as it happen Aro. You saw my pain."

"Yes, just its hard to fathom." he paused and lowered his head. "We really would loose a special asset. Wont you reconsider? Join the guard, you will be welcomed with open arms."

When I couldn't come up with a response, he turned away.

For what felt like ages, in reality it was only a few seconds. He turned toward me.

"We will discuss it." He said in a dark tone. He was truly disappointed.

I nodded and turned away and swiftly left the room.

From what I had got from his thoughts, I knew he didn't want to grant my wish. He saw it as a waste. Useless and disappointing, he wanted me to join the guard, to acquire my talent.

He thought the idea of ending my existence for some mere human was pointless. He didn't understand.

Sure enough he called me back in and they had come to the decision. They refused to do it. It was unnecessary and wasteful. Aro made the offer to become part of the guard again. I declined and turned away.

'Do not do anything rash, dear Edward." Aros thoughts entered my head, I froze at the door. 'I saw what you were planning remember. Cars are for the ground.' I exited the room swiftly.

I was outside in the night sky before I realized.

I ran to the woods near the city. I put my fist through a tree turning it to dust.

What now?

Throw a heavy car through a wall, I could still stick to my original idea.

What could I do?

Hunt humans? No. that was most defiantly not me.

Aro had saw my idea to lift the car, or throw it.

Jump in front of a speeding car? No.

Stand in the sun? IT reminded me of Bella. She thought I was beautiful the first time I showed her. No.

My throat burned with thirst. Hunt a human.

Killing a human in Volterra was the most unforgivable thing. Even they themselves got food elsewhere.

It would expose our race, and I was thirsty.

I looked around and saw a group of people as I emerged from the woods. Witnesses. I lowered myself for the attack. The scent was wafting around. My throat burned with desire.

Before I could pounce I saw Carlisle in my head. I straightened my position. No, I couldn't do that to him.

I held my breath as I walked past them. I heard them talking about St Marcus day. It was tomorrow. There would be a grand festival, lots of people celebrating.

A plan suddenly hit me. There would be hundreds of people all around, in the same place. If I were to walk out into the sunlight just for a few minutes. Everyone would see, they would see the sparkle. It would be hard to forget.

I heard a clock tower of in the distance. I ran toward it.

It was in the centre of the city. The perfect place.

The clock chimed again.

I looked up at it.

Noon, the sun would be the highest in the sky. The better to show of my skin.

Perfect. The people would see it all. Truly amazing Aro didn't know how right he was.

It was perfect.

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