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Chapter 15: Already dead

I stood in the alleyway by the clock tower. I leaned against the cold stone wall. My final moments were upon me. The wait had been painful. I wanted immediate action. To have to wait made it that much more painful. I had forced myself from doing something drastic, something to disappoint Carlisle. I laughed at the thought. I wouldn't do anything rash because of him. Coming from the vampire who was about to pull a suicide mission.

I looked out the alleyway, all the innocent people out there.

They all walked around oblivious to the truth. Ignoring the real monsters that existed here.

I sighed, I was furious when Aro had denied me my wish. I didn't actually think he would grant it, but I had hoped. It wasn't hard to grant. He just saw it as a waste, he wanted my talent for himself. He hoped that I would come back in a few days. Have a change of heart.

He didn't understand that Bella was the only thing in my dead heart. He also did not want to upset Carlisle. I knew it would, but he also had to know this was the only way. There were no other options.

Aro was a strange leader. He didn't know my talent until he had shook my hand. And I had not known his.

It was interesting, odd eve. He knew my intentions, he knew I was about to cause some form of trouble, but he did not let on. Instead, he offered me a position among his Guard. It was laughable. He knew and yet did nothing. For that I was grateful.

People were everywhere…and so were the Guard. All I had to do was jump out and attack someone. I could not deny the appeal. If this was going to be my last act, why not drink human blood? Have one final taste, before the members and protectors of the Volturi disposed me.

The idea was dismissed as quickly as it arrived. What a poor way it would have been to thank Carlisle, for all the years that he had taught me to curb my thirst. If he ever heard about that final act, his shame would be great and wherever I went, even if I only became nothing, I was sure to feel it even there.

Then to taste another human being. Was, wrong. There was no rational way to explain it. Stupid in ways. It did not matter that she was dead and gone. She had been the only one that I had ever wanted, in every way possible - her body, her mind and her blood. To take from another was an insult. And even then, I never, ever would have allowed myself to drink from her.

There had only been that one time…The time when I had to extract James' venom from her body, and that had been…words could not describe how difficult. Difficult was not a strong enough word.

The time was almost near.

I would just walk out. Walk out and shine.

It was five minutes until the clock struck twelve. five minutes until I was liberated from this agony. five minutes until, if Carlisle was right about our kind having an afterlife, I would see Bella again.

Five minutes, and it felt like forever. Five agonizingly slow minutes, and I would see her again, hold her, feel her in my arms.

That is all I wanted; to see her again, at least once, if indeed I am condemned to an eternity in hell. Just meeting her and putting her in so much danger probably warranted a ticket straight there, at the very least. Just being should do the same. Monsters like me should not exist, especially not in the same world with creatures as good as Bella.

Monsters were only meant for nightmares and fairy tales. Not the real world.

We weren't supposed to exist, let alone exist among humans.

The clock finally chimed, a deep, rumbling sound.

I was seconds away from death, and I found that I was smiling. It will soon be over, I assured myself, and undid the buttons of my shirt. For some reason beyond comprehension, I actually folded it neatly, before I placed it on the floor.

Straightening myself up, I listened with a growing sense of peace, as the sounding of the second chime echoed through the air.

I looked down, the sunlight at my feet. I was only just in the shadow. I wondered vaguely if it was going to hurt. It didn't really matter.

The clock chimed loudly again.

One of the little girls had spotted me in the gloom. She was trying to bring me to her father's attention. Chime.

I closed my eyes and took one step toward the light, opening my palms to touch it as the clock chimed again.

I thought I heard someone calling my name. Was that my mind playing tricks on me? Or was I already dead? But the voice sounded severely out of breath. I dismissed it.

Then it came again slightly louder.

She was yelling my name. warning me, telling me not to join her, stay where I was. Silly girl, as if I could live in this world without her.

The clocked chimed again.

Ignoring the beautiful voice, I continued forward.

Bella, love. Soon. Soon we will be together again. I imagined my arms wrapping around her warm frame. I smiled.

Suddenly the yells were getting louder. Was I close? Was it that quick? I took another step forward toward the sunlight.

The clock chimed again.

I took another step.

Something hit me hard. Slamming into my chest.

"No! Edward, look at me!"

My sweet angelic Bella. The voice I longed to hear.

She was there…it was her, looking exactly as I remembered her. Startled as I was, I took a reflexive breath, and her heady scent filled my being.

The scent, my memories didn't do it justice.

Was I dead already? I was with Bella. I must be.

Already dead. Amazing how happy and hopeful I was for that very thing.

I slowly opened my eyes to make sure my assumptions were correct as the clock chimed again, sounding distant now.

It was definitely her. She was dripping wet and slightly shaken, and her eyes were frenzied; not exactly what I had in mind, but I'd take it. Whatever I could get.

"Amazing," I said, in awe. Perhaps we did have a heaven after all. Although, this was much better than any heaven. "Carlisle was right."

Well that hadn't been bad at all? I had been expecting the Guard to drag me to some far off corner, and take their time, ripping me apart. The pain was supposed to be excruciating.

"Edward," she gasped, out of breath. The sound of my name on her lips gave me great joy. "You've got to get back into the shadows. You have to move!"

Touching her face and inhaling deeply, I smiled to myself.

My heart. Although it was not beating like it once did, it felt whole. It didn't feel like a gaping whole in my chest. It was no longer in pieces. I could almost feel it.

"I can't believe how quick it was. I didn't feel a thing – they're very good," I mused, leaning to press my lips against her hair.

"Death, that hath sucked thy honey of thy breath, hath had no power yet upon thy beauty," I quoted as the bell of the clock chimed one last time.

"You smell exactly the same as always." I spoke directly to her now. "So maybe this is hell. I don't care, I'll take it." If it meant being with Bella, it wasn't hell at all.

"I'm not dead! And neither are you!" Was she trying to ruin our reunion with frivolous conversation? "Please Edward, we have to move. They can't be far away!"

Who can't be far away? I was feeling very hazy. She wasn't making any sense.

"What was that?" I asked politely, slightly annoyed.

"We're not dead, not yet! But we have to get out of here before the Volturi."

Several things registered at once. One, heaven or hell, Bella would never mention the Volturi if we were in fact safe from them.

My head was pounding, and every nerve in my body was reacting to what was happening. My love was in danger, and she was very much alive. The hand that I held behind me belonged to a living person, and it was warm and it felt wonderful. With fingers that had been desperate for her touch for so long, I held her hand tightly, and she attempted to crush mine back.

Two, I could hear the minds of Felix and Demetri nearby.

Three, I was still standing in an alleyway, shirtless, and clutching a wet and terrified-looking Bella.

Thus, I had to conclude that I was alive, Bella was with me, and we were both in mortal peril.

In the same second I realized all of this, I grabbed Bella and pinned her against the wall, arms outstretched protectively in front of her.

We were in trouble, but suddenly, it didn't seem so frightening, because she was here, holding my hand and I would do anything to get her out of this anything to get us out of this, and even if we didn't make it- we would be together.

My head was still swimming as I held Bella protectively between me.

"Greetings gentlemen," I said with false politeness to the two figures that unfolded themselves from the darkness. "I don't think I'll be requiring your services today. I would appreciate it very much, however, if you would send my thanks to your masters."

"Shall we take this conversation to a more appropriate venue?" Felix asked, voice hard and menacing. I could feel Bella trembling behind me.

"I don't believe that will be necessary," I said icily. "I know your instructions, Felix. I haven't broken any rules."

"Felix merely meant to point out the proximity of the sun. Let us seek better cover." I glared at him. I had to get Bella out of here. She was here. In my arms. Alive and well. Impossible.

"I'll be right behind you. Bella, why don't you go back to the square and enjoy the festival?" I knew they wouldn't allow it, but I had to try.

"No, bring the girl."

"I don't think so," I almost growled.

"No," Bella whispered.

"Shh," I murmured.

"Felix, not here." Demetri had more control than Felix. "Aro would simply like to speak with you again, if you have decided not to force our hand."

"Certainly," I agreed quickly. I knew if a fight broke out, neither of us would make it out.

"But the girl goes free."

"I'm afraid that's not possible. We have rules to obey." I tried to hold back a snarl.

"Then I'm afraid that I'll be unable to accept Aro's invitation, Demetri."

"That's just fine," Felix said.

"Aro will be disappointed," Demetri sighed.

"I'm sure he'll survive the letdown." I replied harshly

They began to advance. I didn't move. I would protect Bella, or die trying.

Then I heard her, I whipped my head around toward where she would come from.

"Let's behave ourselves, shall we? There are ladies present." She said appearing in the alley. She skipped to my side as if our lives weren't in danger. I was immensely glad to see her. Felix looked annoyed now that the odds were even.

"We're not alone," Alice said, reminded them.

"Please, Edward, let's be reasonable," Demetri said, shaking his head after glancing at the humans.

"Let's," I agreed. "And we'll leave quietly now, with no one the wiser."

"At least let's discuss this more privately."

"No," I said through my teeth.

"Enough." It was Jane. Of course, who else would it be? I must not give her an excuse to use her talent.

"Jane," I sighed in defeat.

"Follow me," she said simply, gliding into the deeper darkness. I wrapped my arm around Bella's waist and towed her along after Alice. Demetri and Felix shadowed us. Bella glanced up at me, her eyes filled to the brim with a fierce curiosity mixed with intense fright. I shook my head at her; this was not the time for questions from her.

"Well, Alice," I said conversationally. I was trying to distract Bella. "I suppose I shouldn't be surprised to see you here."

'of course I would come for you!. You knew I would' she sang in my head.

"It was my mistake," Alice answered, mimicking my tone. "It was my job to set it right."

"What happened?"

"It's a long story. In summary, she did jump off a cliff, but she wasn't trying to kill herself. Bella's all about extreme sports these days."

' cliff diving, werewolves, motorcycles are just the least of our worries now.' I heard in her mind.

"Hm," I said, my voice marred with disapproval. Of course, only Bella would look for trouble even when the greatest danger has moved on.

Alice showed me how she had found Bella, a mess, lifeless and as empty as I was.

It was then we reached the end of the alley so I had no chance to react.

In the ground in front of us was a sewer hole. All of them led to the stronghold. Resigned, I dragged Bella closer to it.

Alice slid down in casually.

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