i am up again against/ the skin of my guitar/ in the window of my life/ looking out through the bars/ i am sounding out the silence/ avoiding all the words/ i'm afraid i've said too much/ i'm afraid of who has heard me/ -the story, ani difranco
"How the hell did that freak get out of here?" Elliot demanded an answer as he stormed into the squadroom. Olivia followed closely behind him and they were greeted by Cragen, Fin and Munch.
"He attacked the guard moving him from the holding cell to his first trial date. He managed to outrun everyone and disappeared.
Their conversation was interrupted by a young cop, "Captain Cragen, they found this in Turner's cell. I was instructed to bring it to you right away."
Cragen took the envelope and frowned, "It's addressed to the squad." he opened it and frowned before taking a breath and reading it out-loud, "We made a deal. You broke it. I let Detective Benson live. But you did not let me leave. Watch out."
"What is that supposed to mean?" Fin questioned.
"I think it means "watch out" Fin." Munch stated.
"Thanks Detective Obvious. Olivia, you're under house arrest. This guy held you hostage. So the odds are, he's going to come after you."
Elliot placed his hand on Olivia's shoulder and pulled her closer to him. She crossed her arms over her chest.
"You go no where alone- one of us will be with you at all times. Even when you're in the bathroom." Cragen set up the guidelines and Olivia slumped, defeated. She knew there was no arguing, "Munch, Fin, head out with the patrol and try and track Turner down. Elliot, Olivia, you work on trying to figure out where he might be going. Cover everything- by phone." he clarified when he saw the look of hope on Olivia's face. She thought he might be giving her permission to go into the field. He then stormed into his office. Fin and Munch walked up to Olivia and patted her on the back.
"Sorry Olivia."
"Yeah girl... How was your doctors appointment?" Fin asked as an afterthought.
Olivia smiled ironically, "We found out we're having twins..." she muttered before sulking off to her desk.
Three days had passed since Turner's escape. There had been no leads and no word from him. The cases had started to pile up so Cragen demanded the detectives move on to the other cases. Olivia was reading a file that Elliot had passed her when Cragen poked out from his office.
"Benson, Stabler, in my office."
Olivia furrowed her brow at Elliot who shrugged as he stood and headed for their Captains office.
Once inside Elliot and Olivia sat in the chairs in front of his desk. Cragen examined them and shook his pen at them, "You two seem to have forgotten our deal."
"Which deal? The one where I'm not allowed to pee alone or the one where I'm stuck in the office all day long?"
Cragen smirked at Olivia's bitterness but shook his head, "No- the deal where you go and see a psychologist and I don't kick one of you out of my department."
"Captain- is this really necessary?" Elliot groaned, "You already know we work well together."
"You are going to do this or I split you up for good. I can protect you for now but what do you think is going to happen when Olivia comes back to work? IAB is going to have a fit when they find out you two spawned. I need to cover my ass and yours. You will go and see this psychologist. She's an independent. Not connected to the Force in any way. The only person she will report to is me. And even then, she will only tell me whether she thinks that you two are okay to work together." Elliot and Olivia sighed but nodded, "But just know- if she has any concerns at all- I will be forced to split you up."
"How is this independent shrink supposed to know anything if she's not connected with the force?" Elliot challenged.
"I gave her a list of questions to ask. She's well prepared."
"But Captain-"
"Stop arguing. I know neither of you like talking about your fears and dreams but you're not getting out of this. You might as well do it. You might learn something about yourselves."
Olivia frowned. She stared silently at Doctor Heather Mercer. She smiled pleasantly at the detective. She was an attractive woman. Light blonde hair, blue eyes and a petite body. She seemed personable and pleasant.
"You know, you'd be just his type." Olivia stated.
Dr Mercer raised her eyebrows at the first sentence Olivia had put together since arriving, "Who's type?"
"Elliot's type. You're blonde, blue-eyes... Small... You seem pleasant."
"And Elliot is...?"
Olivia scoffed and smirked, "You know who Elliot is."
"I know his name. His official title. But I don't know who he is to you. So why don't you tell me?"
Olivia smiled. She recognized the exercise. She started to resist when Cragen's voice echoed in her head, "Just do it. You might learn something."
"Elliot is... my partner. In everything. My partner in work, play, love... life."
"When did you and Elliot meet?"
"Twelve years ago. My first day of working at Special Victims. He was assigned to be my transition partner."
"Transition partner?"
"Yeah. The force will assign an experienced detective to a rookie in order to teach them everything they can in a short time. The senior detective will spend that time assessing the rookie on their capabilities, their competence in the department they chose, ex-cetera. Then they pass on an evaluation to the head of the department with their observations before the rookie is passed off to a new partner or in some cases, most cases in SVU, a new department."
"But you didn't get passed on."
Olivia smiled, "Nope. Elliot was stuck with me. Not something he was entirely happy about."
"What do you mean?"
"Oh, he'll never admit it, but I caught him calling me Detective Barbie and Princess of Police behind my back. He thought I was competent enough to work SVU but he didn't like being stuck with a rookie when he had put in so much time. He had already outdone the average SVU detective with his years in the squad. He felt he should be working cases solo."
"Your Captain said he knew he was keeping you two together as soon as you met."
Olivia smiled, "He never told me that."
"He said that the way you two were able to play off of each other instantly was so natural that he knew you would be superb at your jobs... Because no other detective had been able to work successfully with Detective Stabler. That is, they couldn't handle working with his hot-headed behaviors. How do you deal with it?"
Olivia leaned back in the chair and smiled, "What can I say? I'm a saint." she joked, "But really- I knew I had something special with Elliot right of the bat. We were just so... comfortable around each other."
"Have you always been that comfortable around each other?"
"No. We hit a rough patch." Olivia frowned at the memory.
"Describe that."
"We- both shut down. For different reasons."
"What reasons?"
"His wife had left him... I became his only support... But then I was attacked... He chose me over a victim and the victim died... it's complicated. Our relationship reached a volatile point and we couldn't work together anymore. So I left."
"You left? To where?"
"Another department. But I hated it so I came back. But then I got whisked away by the FBI and I had to leave without saying goodbye."
"How did Elliot respond to that?"
"He never did tell me how he felt when I left. I just know that it was shaky when I returned. We hadn't been the same until his wife left him again."
"Did you know that you had feelings for Elliot before his wife left him?"
Olivia grinned, "I was attracted to him, sure. But that's not why I fell in love with him. He and I connected in a way that I had never felt before... or since. At first that it was because he was my partner... but then I worked with other cops, other people, and knew... that Elliot was different because of him... not our jobs. It's like anything in life- no one would think twice if two stock brokers fell in love. Sure, they understand each other's jobs and the demanding lifestyle it brings but that's not the reason they fell in love..."
"So you don't believe that you're connection with Elliot has to do with your job?"
"Of course some of it has to do with our job. But that's not the reason we're connected. It just strengthened our connection. And it also put us to the test."
"Do you think you passed?"
Olivia bit her lip and smiled, "Yeah, I think we did. Or else I wouldn't be here today, explaining why I'm madly in love with Elliot. I mean- since when is love- real, undying, pure love, ever a bad thing?"
Dr Mercer smiled, "I can't say I have an example to give you."
Olivia sat in the coffee shop, waiting for Elliot to come down from his appointment with Dr Mercer. She was glad that she had been honest with the doctor but she was afraid she had given the doctor enough ammo to get her fired.
The tinkle of the bell above the coffee shop door caused Olivia to look up and see Elliot coming through the door. His eyes were grey. He was exhausted. Olivia gave him a sympathetic smile as he sat down across from her.
"How'd it go?" she asked.
He sighed deeply, "Oh she had me crying about my mommy in five seconds flat."
Olivia giggled, "You get anything out of it?"
Elliot stretched out in his seat and rubbed the tired out of his eyes, "Sure. I asked her what her opinion was and she said we sounded like a married couple that had been living without good sex for ten years and when we finally figured out how to do it right, everything was fixed."
"She did not say that!"
"Okay, that's my interpretation. But it's pretty close to what she came up with."
"You're sick." She teased before her tone turned serious, "What do you think she'll tell Cragen?"
"I'm not sure... We'll just have to wait."
And so will you... Unless we have some sort of compromise... where you review more and I post faster... c'mon, I know you wanna know what's gunna happen... otherwise you wouldn't be reading this authors note ;)