take me home/ take me home and leave me there/ think i'm going to cry, i don't know why/ think i'm going to sing myself a lullaby/ feel free to listen/ feel free to stare/ i live in new york, new york / the city that never shuts up/ in the daylight everything is so gory/ you can hear snatches of stranger's sorry stories/-cradel and all, Ani DiFranco

Olivia bit down on her lip as the raging pain surfed through her body, "Is it supposed to hurt this much?" she moaned as she clutched the edge of her hospital bed.

Casey stroked her hair and tried to sooth her friend. Munch and Fin knocked on the hospital room door and Casey motioned for them to enter.

"Hey Olivia, you okay?" Fin asked.

Olivia shook her head as she took in deep breaths, "No." she complained, "Where the hell is Elliot? I want to kill the son-of-a-bitch that did this to me!"

Fin turned to Munch who shook his head. Neither man was prepared to be the one that shattered Olivia's world. Casey caught the look that passed between the two partners and she knew something had gone wrong. Munch motioned for Fin to say something to their colleague, "We're working on finding him. His cell is off but Lola and Leo are going to get him."

"Yeah, Elliot's a stubborn bastard. There's no way these kids are coming without him here."

"Cragen's just talking to the doctor, I'll be right back." Fin headed out the door.

Casey stood from the chair beside Olivia's bed and she squeezed her hand, "I'll go get you some more ice chips." Olivia nodded through her breathing and Casey quickened her pace to catch up with Fin in the hallway.

"Fin, what the hell is going on? Where's Elliot?"

Fin sighed and shook his head, "He's in the ER- he was shot twice in the chest..."

"Oh my God, is he okay?"

Fin frowned, "It's not looking so great... he's lost a lot of blood. Cragen is checking with the doctor to see if we should tell Olivia or if it will upset her too much."

"Olivia is going to know something is wrong. She already does- You have to tell her..." Casey turned her case to Cragen who had walked up in the middle of her plea.

"The doctor said to not tell her under any circumstances. She's already scared and he thinks this will be a difficult birth- she doesn't need Elliot weighing her down..."

"It's already weighing her down! She wants her partner there and she has no idea where he is! We can't keep lying to her-"

"The doctor is afraid she will become even more irrational than she already is- He doesn't want her to completely lose it." Casey frowned at the firm tone that Cragen spoke to her in but she knew the argument was over, "Fin, you go call Elliot's kids. Meet them in the Family Room. Brief them on the situation. We don't want them letting anything slip to Olivia. I'll go wait for updates on Elliot. I'll send you texts when I know more. Casey, go take over for John. Olivia is probably ready to kill him. We'll meet together in an hour for updates." The team split and started their tasks.

Fin stared at the terrified faces before him. Maureen held Eli in her arms while Kathleen, Dickie and Lizzie sat on the couch holding hands. Their faces were white with fear. Fin was having trouble figuring out what might comfort them. He was saved from having to say anything when Maureen opened her mouth.

"Where's Olivia? Why isn't she telling us all of this?"

Fin cringed. He hadn't said anything about Olivia, "Olivia... Olivia went into labour about two hours ago. Before we knew that your dad had been injured. The doctors have asked us to not say anything about your dad until they know more. They don't want anymore stress complicating the birth. She's already having some complications."

Kathleen covered her face with her hands, "Are the babies okay?" she moaned.

"The babies are fine. The labour is just happening too quickly. They want to slow it down- give Olivia some time." Fin's phone suddenly bleeped and he looked down to see a message from Cragen, "The Captain says they've stopped the bleeding and they're moving your dad into surgery." Another message quickly replaced Cragen's and Fin frowned at the words Casey had typed, "Casey is wondering if you guys are able to come see Olivia. She needs people who love her around her to calm her down..." Fin looked up to the faces of Elliot's beautiful children. They were clearly horrified that they might be expected to do anything productive in this situation. But Maureen slowly nodded and the twins stood from the couch with Kathleen closely behind.

"What floor is she on?" Dickie asked.

"4th. Remember to not say anything about your dad. Just reassure her that we're tracking him down and try to distract her."

The five shell-shocked children followed Fin into the elevator. Fin watched as Maureen kissed Eli's head gently and whispered to her brother that everything was going to be okay. Fin felt a pang of fear at the thought that maybe everything was actually going to be completely destroyed at the loss of one man. The elevator evened out and the crew spilled out into the hall. They began the somber walk to Olivia's room and Fin led the kids in.

"You got some visitors Olivia."

The tired smile that spilled onto Olivia's face was heart-breaking, "Hey guys. What are you doing here?" she whispered, exhaustedly.

Maureen approached the bed and Casey moved so the children could gain better access to the woman who held their father's heart, "You didn't think we'd let our new siblings be born without us around, did you?"

Lizzie sat in the chair as Kathleen rounded the bed. Lizzie clutched Olivia's hand while Kathleen stroked her hair. Dickie took Eli from Maureen so Maureen could take Olivia's other hand in hers, "Are you feeling alright?" Kathleen asked.

Olivia nodded, "I am now that you're all here. Just so you know, your father is a great man and I love him dearly. But I am going to kill him the second he gets here." she moaned. Olivia was too tired to notice the looks of horror that passed across each child's face.

"I'm sure he'll be here as soon as he can." Maureen shakily reassured.

Fin left the room once he trusted that the kids weren't going to say anything to terrify Olivia even more. He approached Cragen, Munch and Casey who were all leaning against the wall with defeated faces.

"Any updates on Elliot?" Fin asked.

Cragen sighed, "They brought him to surgery to try and remove the bullet but it looks like it's lodged in his heart and the bullet is the only thing keeping him from bleeding out."

"They can't just remove it and then repair the damage after?"

"They're saying that if they remove it then he'll bleed too fast. But if they don't do something soon, his heart will eventually slow down and stop pumping blood."

The four adults had been so absorbed in their conversation that they hadn't heard Kathleen come up behind them, "But they're gunna fix him, right? He'll be okay?"

Cragen sighed and Casey could not contain the tears in her eyes. Fin shook his head and Munch slouched his shoulders in defeat, "It's not looking good Kathleen." Cragen sighed, "But they're doing everything they can."

"I want to talk to the doctor." Kathleen stated, "I have to tell her that she needs to save my father. Olivia cannot have those babies on her own! The doctors need to save him or Olivia will die." Kathleen begged Cragen.

Casey swallowed a sob and she wiped her tears away before taking a deep breath, "Kathleen, as soon as the doctor comes out to update us again, I'll come get you... Right now, the babies and Olivia need you in there."

Kathleen huffed back into Olivia's room, followed by Fin.

Fin stared into Olivia's hospital room. He noticed that an elderly Doctor had joined Dickie and Eli at the back of the room as Olivia cried in fear.

"Detective Benson, you're going to need to start pushing soon."

"I can't do this without Elliot! Where is he?" She wept. Sweat and tears mixed on her face and stained the hospital gown she wore. Maureen squeezed Olivia's hand.

"You can do this Olivia! We need you to do this! Your children need you to do this..."

Olivia tried to hold in her tears but her pain and fear fully manifested itself when the sobbing became uncontrollable, "No! No! I need Elliot! Please, someone just find him! Where is he?" She rolled over onto her side and covered her head with her hands, attempting to block out the noise and doctors.

Fin felt his chest tighten in sadness. He couldn't watch her like this. Olivia, his strong, independent, beautiful co-worker and friend. She needed to know what had happened.

He suddenly found himself next to Olivia, "Olivia- babe, Elliot's can't be here right now. So you gotta do what the doctors say."

Olivia peeked out at Fin, "You found him?"

Fin frowned but nodded. He could not lie to her any longer, "We found him."

Olivia knew something was wrong the second she caught the fear in Fin's eyes, "What happened?"

Fin looked to Maureen, who took Olivia's hand and squeezed it, "Olivia, there was an accident..." Maureen found her throat closing up from sadness and tears. She shook her head and Fin rubbed her back before turning to Olivia.

"Turner shot him Olivia. Twice in the chest. He's in surgery right now but the doctors don't know how he's going to do." Fin could feel the doctor glaring at his head from behind him.

"Olivia, are you okay?"

The tears that poured down Olivia's face felt like poison on her skin, "They don't know if he's gunna be okay?" she whispered.

Fin shook his head, "Cragen is waiting for updates."

Olivia could not help the sob that escaped from her throat, "I want him here." she whimpered, "I want him here with me. He's supposed to be here! Not almost dying!" Everyone in the room could sense the panic in Olivia.

"Detective- can I speak to you outside?" Fin turned to see an attacking glare from Olivia's doctor. Fin nodded and stormed outside, followed by the doctor and nurse. He knew he was in for a verbal whiplashing. He had disobeyed direct orders from the doctor and his commanding officer. Fin turned to face the medical team standing behind him. Casey, Munch and Cragen had sensed the frustration in Fin so they came and stood behind their colleague, blindly ready to back his play.

"What's up doc?"

"I told you not to tell my patient what was going on with her partner!"

Fin was thrown off by the sharp tone that the doctor used to reprimand him but managed to come back with his side of the argument, "She has the right to know man. I'm not gunna bold-face lie to her. She deserves the truth."

"The stress of this birth is already terrifying her-"

The doctor was cut off by Cragen, "Doctor Barnes, did any immediate danger come to Detective Benson or the babies from Detective Tutuola's decision?"

"No... but we can never be sure that she wont panic-"

"Well, until she does, this argument is pointless. We can't un-do what's been done."

Doctor Barnes frowned at the Captain and turned on his heel, followed by the nurse. Fin started to nod his appreciation to Cragen but stopped when he saw the frown on his CO's face.

"Captain-"

"You better hope Olivia keep's her cool in there or I'm arresting you for insubordination."

Fin didn't have a chance to defend himself as Maureen came running from Olivia's room, "Something's wrong!" It didn't take long before the blaring alarms filled the hallway. Everyone rushed into Olivia's room.

"What happened?" Casey cried.

"One minute she was talking and then suddenly she was out of it and she passed out! We tried to wake her up but-" Lizzie was cut off by the crowd of doctors and nurses came rushing in.

"Everybody out- now!"

Before they could blink, the kids and squad had been kicked out into the hallway. The shock had silenced them all. Lizzie then suddenly started sobbing and clinging to Eli. Maureen quickly wrapped her arms around her sister and brother while Dickie and Kathleen leaned against the wall. Casey pressed the heels of her hands into her eyes, begging the tears to stay away. Cragen rubbed his head nervously. The group stood in horrified silence, waiting for any sort of motion from Olivia's room. Ten minutes had passed when a young doctor approached them from down the hallway.

"Captain Cragen?"

The doctor nearly jumped back when nine sets of eyes turned onto her. Cragen recognized the blonde as the young intern working on Elliot.

"Yes- yes, do you have any news on Elliot?"

The doctor nodded, "We explored more and discovered that the damage was less than we thought. We were able to extract the bullet and repair all the damage to his heart."

"So he's okay?" Maureen hoped.

The doctor smiled, "He's in recovery now. Providing there are no further complications he should be fine."

Relief filled the hallway and for one quiet moment everyone felt content. Elliot was going to be okay. But reality crashed into the group once more when the door of Olivia's room swung open and a nurse called for the young doctor who had delivered the good news about Elliot.

"Doctor Schmidt, we need some help in here!" Doctor Schmidt rushed away from the camp set up outside and disappeared into the room in crisis.

The sobering effect of reality was enough to shock the group into silence once again.

here's the deal... if i hit 100 reviews in this chapter, the next update will be up so quick you'd think there was no break between them... and just so you know, the story is winding down. there are about two more chapters until it's over! quick! review while you have the chance!