B

I barely slept at all the rest of the night, I thank my lucky star that today is Tuesday and I don't have to work. I've never had a dream frighten me so badly before or be so vivid and intense. I trudge around my apartment for the first few hours of the morning, finally pulling myself out of bed at about ten. Angela has already gone in for her shift, I'll have to leave her a message and have her call me when she gets in. Everyone I know is either at work or school right now so I can't get a fresh perspective on what it means.

Coffee, I need some coffee, something warm in my stomach to calm me down and take the chill out of my bones. I was so cold when I woke up even though I was under some heavy blankets. Everything about last night was just so strange. I don't know; I'm still so tired that I can't really think clearly. I walk into the kitchen, passing my bouquet of roses I stop and take a deep breath. They still smell so good and it calms my nerves a little. I should try and call Mister Cullen today and tell him thank you. I fill the coffee maker and watch it slowly drip into the pot.

I turn my back on the coffee and lean against the counter. Looking at the roses my mind starts churning. I was attacked, lured in and taken advantage of then attacked. Something about that concept of the dream starts thoughts turning over in my head. Am I going someplace dangerous with my singing? Obviously I'm anxious about singing professionally but am I worried about being hurt? What could it all mean?

The coffee maker sputters as the pot fills. I pull a mug out of the cupboard and fill it. Holding the mug to my lips I take a deep breath of the coffee's aroma before taking a sip. The darkness, the candles and the man were the main items in my dream. What could they stand for? Well, the darkness is the world and me being alone in it. I think that makes sense, just moving to a big city I don't know anyone so I am essentially alone. The candles are a little harder but I guess they signify safety…or maybe people. I remember being happy to find the light and then being surrounded by it so either one could be an explanation.

I refill my cup and take another sip. Then there's the man, what does he have to do with this? He just appeared there so I didn't let him in or give him permission to come into my safe area. Could he have already been there and I didn't notice? I couldn't run from him because I was trapped by the candles, but I didn't really want to run either because he was beautiful and gentle at first. So we just held each other for a while and then he attacked me. I go for another sip of coffee and realize I'm empty again, filling a third cup I try and wrap my mind around what the man could mean.

He's something dangerous, I can say that much at least. Something dangerous that seems safe but whatever else he might mean is a mystery. I pour a fourth cup of coffee and look at the clock, it's nearly one and I'm still in my pajamas. It's a little late for a real lunch and looking around my kitchen I don't see a lot of options, peanut butter and jelly it is then. I can't stress about this dream anymore today, I need to focus on what I'm going to do for Thursday. I need to decide what I'm going to sing and rehearse today since I have to work tomorrow.

I down the sandwich and take a quick shower, finally starting to feel less like a zombie. I pull on some shorts and a t-shirt and grab my phone. I want to call Mister Cullen before it gets too late so I call Steven to get his number.

"Hey there kiddo, how're things?" he answers

"I'm doing fine Steven and you?"

"Doin' good, can I help you with somethin'?"

"Yeah, actually, I was hoping you could give me the number for Mister Cullen."

"Sure, no problem, but what for?" he asks a little too eagerly.

"Well, I got some flowers from him yesterday. They were waiting at my door and I wanted to call and say thanks."

"Flowers? Really? That's a new one, no problem kiddo."

We talk a bit more after he gives me the number and I tell him I can't wait for Thursday and that I'll see him then. I hang up the phone and look at the numbers I had written down. I start to get nervous, this needs to be perfect, I want to make a good impression. I rehearse some options in my head trying not to sound overly formal but also not too friendly. I dial the number still rehearsing, a man's voice on the other end picks up after one ring.

"Edward Cullen's office, this is James speaking. How can I help you?"

"Oh, hello may I speak with Mister Cullen please?" I ask timidly.

"May I ask who is calling?"

"This is Isabella Swan; I'm meeting with Mister Cullen on Thursday."

The line goes quiet for a moment, "Ah miss Swan, yes I see you here. Unfortunately Mister Cullen is out of the office today. Would you like to leave a message?"

My mind races a moment, "Oh, well, do you think that he'll be in today?"

"It's unlikely I'm afraid."

"Is there any way at all that I can reach him, an email address or anything like that?" I beg. The line goes silent for a few moments, "Please?" I ask.

"Hold for a moment please."

E

I tell Carlisle everything that has been happening since Bella arrived, not leaving out a single detail about what I had been experiencing. He stays quiet for a long while on the other end of the line but I wait patiently. His knowledge about vampires far surpasses my own so I give him time to hypothesize. After a few moments he answers, "I won't mince words with you Edward, your attachment and interest in this girl is dangerous…for her I mean."

"I know that much Carlisle but I cannot stay away from her."

"Be that as it may Edward, I have an idea about your behavior."

The reason I had called, finally an answer I can use.

"The Beast is an interesting facet of vampirism. It manifests differently in each of us and, I'm sorry to say, what you experienced in the girl's dream is your beast's manifestation. The fact that you've been humane about how you hunt may seem like a decision on your part. The truth of the matter is that your beast is a predator and not the bloodthirsty monster you seem to think."

"What about that night on the roof?" I ask, trying to defend my position.

"A fluke, subconsciously you knew there was quite a distance to cover to get to that scent so your beast took the only logical course, running, and went with it. You've just been doing this for so long that its second nature now and you couldn't tell the difference."

Devastated, I put my head in the hand that is not holding the phone. My mind starts racing, what can I do? How can I make this okay?

"Edward, you need to know this isn't atypical. I struggled with my instincts for a very long time and they can be overcome. If you really want to do this, it will not be easy."

I cannot answer as my mind slowly falls down further and further into this feeling of hopelessness.

"Okay," he did not direct that at me, my attention comes back to the phone. "We need to hang up Edward but I'll leave you with this: if you want to take the first steps to being with this girl, don't turn off your phone."

"What do you mean Carlisle?" I ask perplexed.

"That's a message from Alice, goodbye Edward. I look forward to hearing from you again." The line goes dead and I am left alone with my thoughts.

That was not the conversation I was hoping to have, this knowledge that I had given in to my beast from the beginning is heartrending in the utmost. I look out on the city, my melancholy fueled by the early evening sun; I'll be able to see her soon. At what cost though, will this be the time that I will be unable to hold myself back? The thought kills me, I drop the phone onto my desk and put my head in my hands and wish I could cry.

I look at the phone as it landed between my elbows. What did Carlisle mean when he told me not to turn off my phone? How was having my phone on going to help me beat this? As I watch the phone it starts to vibrate, the screen lights up and shows it's the office. Its James and he would not try to call if it was not important. I flip the phone open, "Yes James?"

"I'm sorry to bother you Mister Cullen but I have Miss Swan on the other line and she wants to speak with you."

I am suddenly very glad I stayed home today, if James could see my face now he'd know I was more than professionally interested in this girl. I stay quiet for a moment, had to be a riddle did it Alice? Of course she would avoid telling me straight out that this was coming. If I say yes there is a chance I can be with Bella and if I say no I will be without her forever.

B

I wait on hold for what feels like an eternity, I'm sure someone important just called the office right as I had. I consider hanging up when the line comes back to life suddenly, "Miss Swan?"

"Yes, I'm still here."

"Thank you for holding. I just spoke to Mister Cullen and I have a phone number here for you, its Mister Cullen's personal phone. Do you have something to write on?"

I scramble for a pen and piece of paper, "Yes I do." He gives me the number and I thank him profusely. We hang up and I look at the numbers on the page, why couldn't he have just connected me? It would have been so much easier to talk to Mister Cullen if he had been there and I'd had to deal with him right away. Now I can think about calling him and get more nervous.

I jump at the sound of the phone ringing, after catching my breath I pick up.

"Hello?" I say, still sounding a little nervous.

"Bella, its Angela. You okay?"

"Oh, hi Angela. Yeah, I'm fine, the phone just startled me that's all."

"Okay, I just wanted to let you know that there was a guy in the restaurant just a bit ago and he was asking for you."

"Really? Who was it?" I ask, expecting it was a customer.
"I didn't get his name and it wouldn't have bothered me usually but he wanted your address. Don't worry, I didn't give it to him."

"Thanks Angela, I'll keep a lookout tonight."

I hang up the phone and decide it would be better to be on the phone if some stranger is out looking for me.

E

I gave her my number. I have taken the first step towards keeping her in my life. With the ball in her court now I start to feel anxious. She is taking a long while to call, what could she want to talk about? She has never seen me before that she can actually remember, so she probably is not going to try to blackmail me. With the situation out of my control I feel powerless and I do not like it. I watch the phone and wait, thoughts of the conversation ahead running through my head. Of course, that is assuming it happens at all.

The phone suddenly buzzes to life, the display showing a number I do not know. I suddenly realize the magnitude of what I am faced with. If I pick up the phone and talk to this girl, it will establish a personal bond. If our connection is personal instead of simply professional it will be more difficult to walk away from her if I need to. It buzzes again, moving a little on the desk. I stare at the phone as the weight of this decision bears down on me. One more buzz sends the phone off the desk. I catch it as it falls…and make my decision.

X

Damn city, everything looks the same. I've been walking up and down these streets looking for her building all day. Though I spent most of the time getting to her neighborhood. I left my bike at my buddy's and decided to hoof it. Unfortunately I only have her work place to go on, some dingy little hole-in-the-wall restaurant. I managed to find it but she wasn't there. I asked one of the hostesses if she knew where she lived, Angie or Angel I think was her name, but she wouldn't tell me. I figure she lives close by since she doesn't have a car. So I've been wandering the streets all day, looking at apartment buildings and hoping to find her.

-Saleil

Sorry about the delay folks, a bad case of writer's block and life got in the way. I hope this bigger portion makes up for it. More to come and thank you for reading!