He remembered that day, the day their lives had begun to fall apart, as though it were yesterday. "Luke?' she'd asked on the phone, and he could tell right away that she'd been crying. They had met at the elementary school playground where they had first met many years before.
"What's your name?" demanded a bossy seven year old girl to the boy on the swings. Her hands were on her hips and her long, chestnut locks were pulled into two pigtails. The blonde boy on the swings looked up.
"I'm Lucas," he whispered shyly.
"My name is Haley." She sat down next to him on the swing. Together, they swung higher and higher until, in a moment of childlike courage, Lucas let go of the swing and went flying through the air. He landed on his hands and knees in the sand.
"Come on!" he grinned at the little girl.
"I'm scared," she whispered, and Lucas smiled.
"Don't worry. I'm right here. I won't let anything happen to you."Closing her eyes tightly, Haley too let go of the swing and flew through the air.
She was already swinging on the swings when he walked up to her. Her eyes were puffy and her cheeks were stained with dried tears. Lucas sat down on a swing beside her, silently.
After a few moments of comforting each other with their presence, Haley burst out, "He's gone, Luke!" She burst into tears, not for the first time, Lucas knew.
Hey, hey," Lucas soothed, reaching over to pull her swing closer and to rub her back. "Who's gone, Hales?"
"Na-Nathan. He's g-gone." She hiccupped as she sobbed.
"Why? What happened?" His voice betrayed both the sympathy he felt for Haley's desperation and the anger he felt towards Nathan for leaving her.
"I told him…" she paused, looked up at him. "I told him I was pregnant."
Lucas' hand froze on her back. "And are you," he questioned softly. "Is it true?"
She nodded, looked down, her tears threatening to start again. Gently, he lifted her chin, stroked her cheek with his thumb. "Hey, hey. It's all right. Okay? I'm here for you, Hales. I'll always be here for you."
Lucas knew right then how much he loved her. But he didn't know what it meant, and so he didn't say anything. When they found out several months later that Nathan had been in a car accident and died, he knew it wasn't the right time to mention it either. The paramedics found the sonogram Haley had sent in the front seat of Nathan's car. He had been on his way home for Haley and the baby. Listening to Haley's sobs, it was almost worse than when Nathan had left her – he had tried to come home, and he hadn't made it.
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Five years later, Lucas stood with Haley as she tried on wedding dresses. She had met John in college and he had proposed just after graduation.
"What do you think of this one, Lucas?" Haley asked, twirling around in a dress.
"You look beautiful, Mama," declared little Jamie, Haley and Nathan's son. "Doesn't she, Uncle Lucas?"
"She sure does, J. Luke," replied Lucas softly. "You look beautiful, Hales." He almost spoke up right then, almost told her how it made him feel to see her in that gown. He almost said that she was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen and he'd loved her since that first day on the playground. But the words caught in his throat.
"Can you believe I'm getting married?" squealed Haley, and the look on the face was pure joy. She had been happier these last few years with John than he'd ever seen her since Nathan died. And then Lucas remembered why he couldn't tell her the truth, couldn't love her as anything more than as a younger sister. She was finally happy again, happier than she'd been in a long time, and that, truly, was all he really wanted for her.
"Luke. Luke!" said Haley, breaking him out of his thoughts. "You know I couldn't have done it these last few years without you, right?"
He smiled at her, his eyes betraying his sadness, but she was too overjoyed to see it. "Yeah, I know. His face changed, grew cheerful, happy again because she was happy again. "I wouldn't have missed them for the world."
***********************
The night Jamie called John "Daddy" was the first night Lucas allowed himself to cry over what he had lost. The day Haley called and said they were moving to California for John's new job, it broke his heart. Over the years they slowly lost contact, their daily phone calls and weekly letters reduced to a holiday card in the mail at Christmastime.
The year Jamie was turning seventeen, Lucas got a call from a lawyer. He knew it was almost Jamie's birthday because the date was marked on his calendar, circled in red ink. He had been thinking about going out to California as a surprise for Jamie, but he was still working up the nerve to call Haley and ask if that would be okay.
"Lucas Scott?" the lawyer demanded, his voice brisk and professional.
"This is he," replied Lucas, trying to decide what to have for lunch. He could smell the tuna fish sandwiches from his office, but he was really in the mood for a hot slice of pizza.
"My name is Will Thompson. I believe you knew a Haley and John Chesterfield?"
It was Haley's name that drew Luke's attention from his rumbling stomach to the man on the telephone. "Yes – yes I know her." He paused, wanted to ask why the man had used the past tense, but the lawyer spoke up again.
"I was the Chesterfield's lawyer and I am the executor of their will."
"Will?" repeated Lucas, dazed, his hunger forgotten.
"Yes?" replied the lawyer.
"No – I mean…" Lucas closed his eyes to prevent the tears from falling. "What – what happened?"
"Ah, I take it you don't know?" questioned Will Thompson. He continued on, reading in a monotone a write-up from his records. "Mr. and Mrs. Chesterfield were on their way to a party when their car was struck by a drunk driver. Both were declared dead at the scene. Neighbors stayed at the house with the children and a Mrs. Beatte stayed the night with them. I was notified yesterday morning, the day after the accident." Lucas listened in a stunned silence, the tears now running silently down his cheeks, his eyes still squeezed shut.
"And –" Lucas' voice broke on the word and he gulped before continuing. "And the children are all alright? They weren't with them?" He couldn't say Haley's name, or even John's.
"Rebecca, Molly and Jamie are fine. They are with their parents' friends at the moment. They've been told there was an accident, but that's all they know right now."
"They don't know?" Lucas burst out, outraged. "Their parents have been dead for almost two days, and nobody has told them yet?"
"Well, that's why I'm calling, Mr. Scott," replied the lawyer, unfazed. "The policy is to let their appointed guardians tell them the news. We find it is easier on the children to hear it from a trusted, loved one. This brings me to my next point. Mr. Scott, you have been appointed the sole guardian of the three children."