Title: Smooth Move, Romeo - Publicity, O How I Loathe Thee

Summary: The whole gang gets drunk. What happens when Elphaba wakes up the next morning and . . . something's . . . different?

Disclaimer: Disclamation--God pray that be a word.

Author's Note: Ew, I hope this chapter is satisfactory. The next will be better . . . I just wanted to get this out there, because I wanted all of you to know it's still alive and well. If You Love Someone should be updated soon enough as well. Ooooh well.

Please try to enjoy my disgusting excuse of a story! ;D

Elphaba awoke when a beam of light flickered over her eyes. It was morning, obvious, so that meant it was time to get up.

Elphaba started to get up off of the bed, but, it seemed that Fiyero had wrapped his arms around her legs during sleep. Elphaba would have laughed if it had been anyone else. But this was her, and this was Fiyero. She had no pity or patience.

"Fiyero!" she said loudly, glaring lividly down at his end of the bed. "I consider this sexual contact!"

Fiyero made an odd snorting sound and Elphaba wrinkled her nose, trying to entangle herself from Fiyero's iron-grip, but it was clear that dream-Fiyero enjoyed cuddling legs. Or something.

"FIYERO!" Elphaba shouted.

Fiyero sat up straight in the bed, no longer holding onto Elphaba's legs. "What?" he asked, staring, confused, at her. "What?"

"You were hugging my legs," she snapped. "So I had to wake you. Just be glad I didn't kick you."

Fiyero didn't say anything, but instead blushed deep crimson. "Sorry."

Elphaba maintained the silence by getting up quietly. She gathered her clothing for that morning that she'd already laid out and stomped into the bathroom to get dressed.

When the door clicked closed, Elphaba let herself sigh before she slipped out of her nightdress, one arm at a time. She dropped it onto the floor, the misty grey material somewhat melting against the dull wood.

She then proceeded to undo her braid of long, thick hair and brush it just like she did every morning, rhythmically running the brush through her glossy locks. She could hear Fiyero humming through the door and attempted to brush her hair louder, but soon realized it wasn't exactly possible to do so. She cursed silently.

When she was done brushing her hair, she put it back into its customary braid, and then slipped on her blouse and buttoned it. Then on went her skirt, and she was out of the bathroom.

Fiyero had stopped humming, but his face stared up at her where he was positioned on his back, his head upside down off the bed. "You women—you're forever in the bathroom."

Elphaba didn't answer, but immediately vacated the room, but not before she could hear Fiyero sighing loudly.

She walked quickly down the dorm's hallway, still not quite used to the idea of living in the couples' suite. Maybe she ought to have a word with the Headmistress? Technically, she and Fiyero weren't a couple.

When she was finally outside, it took Elphaba a moment to work out where the library was—living somewhere else had her turned around. After a moment's thought, she made a hard left turn, and continued down the hard pavement.

It was only until a few minutes later that she really noticed the staring. It was more staring than usual, because unlike the normal staring, this staring seemed oddly like jealousy or something.

But that was stupid?

Right?

Soon, she found that her suspicions were quite right. . . .

"Are you really married to Fiyero Tiggular?" a complete stranger asked her later that day.

Elphaba nodded slowly.

"Lucky!" was all she said, and then she was gone.

That's what happened all through that day's classes. Everywhere Elphaba went, she was swarmed with questions, awe, and jealousy concerning Fiyero and her alleged marriage with him. By the end, she was ridiculously fed up, and disgustedly found Galinda and complained to her.

"Elphaba, you can't expect to marry Fiyero and just . . . get away with it," Galinda sighed, rolling her eyes. "It's big, you know; him being a prince, and you being yourself. . . . No offense, though."

"None taken," Elphaba said dryly, and cuffed her playfully around the ear.

Galinda ducked and gave her friend an agonizingly fake glower. "None should be, Mrs. Fiyero."

It was very convenient that Fiyero decided to come by then in front of everyone. It was also very annoying that he decided to play it up and put an arm around her shoulders. Elphaba's first instinct was to shove him off as quickly as possible, and instinct prevailed.

"Don't encourage them," Elphaba said softly. "We are not an item, we are not anything—we're not going to turn into Oz's Hottest Couple, Fiyero."

Fiyero frowned. "Why not?"

"Because I do not like you—understood?" she said.

Fiyero shrugged. "Okay. . . ."

"He was enjoying publicity," Galinda said knowingly.

Elphaba sighed and grabbed Galinda's hand, a split-second idea popping into her head. "I shall be staying with Galinda and her new roommate tonight. I figure we need a break from each other—goodbye, Fiyero!" She had been speaking very quickly. When she was done, she tugged the blonde away, leaving a very confused Fiyero behind, and anticipating a quite normal person awaiting her at Galinda's new room.

In reality, she was quite wrong to assume so.