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"I can't do it anymore!" she cried. She was in agony.

"You got yourself into this mess," declared her mother. "It's almost over, thank God."

"Come on, Brooke, you can do it," encouraged the doctor. "It's crowning, just give me another push."

Straining, crying, Brooke took a deep breath and pushed. Brooke, I'm just as scared as you are. His voice echoed through the room. Through a weary haze she heard a slap and the sound of a baby crying.

"Look at our little boy," cooed a female voice in the distance.

"Ten little fingers and ten little toes," replied a male. "Just perfect. You know, it's really too bad that Brooke will never see him again."

Never see him again. Never see him again. Over and over, she heard the words. The doctors took up the chant and through the haze Brooke saw Victoria leaning over her, grinning maliciously. "You'll never see him again, Brooke. You gave him away. Ten little fingers and ten little toes, but you gave him away."

"What did you, Brooke?" Lucas was standing next to her, a horrified look on his face. "What did you do, Brooke? How could you?"

Sweating, Brooke woke up. Lucas, her mother and the chanting doctors disappeared into the darkness. She was in her own room, alone. Brooke glanced around, imagined a crib stuck in the corner and toys scattered across the floor. She reached under her pillow and pulled out a tattered photograph. A newborn looked back with big, blue eyes. His soft blonde curls wisped across his forehead. Sadly, reverently, Brooke laid a kiss on the old photograph and tucked it back under her pillow. She wondered what he looked like now. Probably just like Lucas. She had known from the second she'd held him in her arms that he would look just like Lucas. It was one of the reasons she couldn't keep him. He had a mother and father now that loved him and that loved each other. He deserved that. It was another reason she gave him up.

************************

When Peyton called her and asked her to come home, to Tree Hill, she knew that the time was coming to tell him. For years she had tried to forget, had hoped that he would never find out. But she knew, now, that the secret would never go away. Lucas would find out eventually and she had to be the one to tell him.

Angie had come and gone before she finally worked up the courage. He had loved that baby girl as much as she had; it was the first time she allowed herself to really question her decision. But she had made the right choice. They had been so young, so unsure about life and themselves. He had been able to finish college, had gone out and written a novel; she'd headed a high-end fashion line. None of that would have happened if they'd had a baby at seventeen. Fate had brought them together again, as friends, nothing more. But she had to tell him soon, before it was too late.

When Peyton announced that she was pregnant, Brooke knew that she had waited too long. A month after the news had broken, she found him at the cemetery talking to Keith.

"Hey, Luke," she said, walking up to take a seat beside him.

"Hey, there, Cheery," he grinned.

Brooke laughed nervously. "You haven't called me that in a long time."

Lucas chuckled. "What's new, Brooke?"

Brooke glanced at him and looked down at her hands twisting in her lap. "I…I have something to tell you."

"Okay," smiled Lucas. "You know that you can tell me anything, right?

"You're going to hate me," she whispered, an unwanted tear coursing down her cheek.

"Hey, I could never hate you," he murmured, drawing her in for a hug. Brooke settled against his chest and wondered how they had gotten so close again, after everything they had put each other through.

"You will," she mumbled. "But you have to understand, I couldn't tell you the truth, not then. We wouldn't have made it. All the things you've done, and you and Peyton, you're soul mates."

"Brooke," began Lucas. "I'm confused. Why couldn't you tell me the truth?"

"I just told you why," rambled Brooke. "You had so much to do with your life. Your book and Peyton and the movie and the baby…" Her voice caught on the last word, her eyes filling with tears.

"Brooke, just because Peyton and I are having a baby it doesn't mean that I'm kicking you out of my life. Is that what this is about? You'll be a huge part of this baby's life. It will love you, just like I do."

"It can't love me," she sobbed into his chest. "Not after what I did. Your son, Luke, your baby."

"Son?" Lucas asked, shocked. "Did Peyton say something? She promised that we would wait and be surprised."

"No." Brooke shook her head, still sobbing. "Peyton didn't know."

"Brooke, what do you mean by didn't? Why do you keep saying son? I need you to talk to me, Brooke. What's wrong?" His voice was gentle and only made her cry harder.

"He was a boy. A son, Lucas. " She hiccupped through her tears.

"Brooke –"

"No, just…let me get this out. I lied to you, Lucas, back in high school. About the pregnancy."

Somberly, Lucas nodded. "I know. You told me, remember? It was just a scare, but we got in a fight and so you told me that the doctor had confirmed the pregnancy. But later that night you told me the truth. Why are you still thinking about that?"

Brooke shook her head. "No, that was the lie. I was pregnant, Luke, but we had broken up and you were so clearly in love with Peyton. I couldn't keep the baby."

"So what, Brooke!" cried Lucas angrily. He brushed her off and stood up, his arms crossed. "You got rid of our baby, just like that? You knew that Dan had tried to abort me! You knew! How could you do that to me, to our baby?"

"No!" exclaimed Brooke. "I almost did but I couldn't, okay? In California, I…I had it. He looked just like you, Lucas. He was so perfect."

Lucas mouth dropped open, his face frozen in fury. "All this time? My son…where is he? What did you do with him?"

"They were nice people, Luke. They'll love him like their own."

"So, what, you just gave him to strangers? You had him and you gave him away?" His voice trembled with rage.

"Luke," Brooke pleaded with him to understand. Ironic, she thought, how the tables are turned. "We couldn't have taken care of a baby. We were still kids ourselves, we had so much we still wanted to do. He deserved so much better than the life we had to offer him. And he has it, now. He has it."

Luke shook his head, stunned, angry and hurt. "Brooke," he mumbled, backing away, his hands raised to surrender. "I just…I can't do this right now. I can't."

Brooke nodded and watched him turn, watched him walk away until he was just a speck at the edge of the graveyard, heading back to Peyton and their child. A tear rolled slowly down her cheek. She watched until she could no longer see him and then she went home and packed. She'd catch a flight to Milan in the morning. That was the best solution for everyone. She left without telling him.