A/N: Uuhm yeah... I'm late. But at least I got back to it eventually :D I've been having inspiration issues haha. Someone inspire me!! Please?

Disclaimer: Not mine!

"The Secret Life of Underwear"

"Rest assured, Headmaster, that this is by far the most inane proposition you've ever presented and I have no intention of going through with it," an irate Potions Master snarled.

"Oh come now, m'boy, it's not that bad of an idea."

"The underwear has rainbow-colored polka dots."

"Couldn't we change the color?" Harry asked. "I mean, we're wizards."

"Certainly not, Harry! The color is an integrated part of the charm itself! To change the color would shatter the charm, leaving you with an ordinary pair of underwear."

"I swear you just made that up."

"He's not lying actually," Snape said in a tone that implied not this time at any rate. "Every charm created has a distinct signature that conbines with the castor's magical signature, and thus affects the final product. Color changes, when they happen, are based off the castor's magical signature."

"Okay, now you're both having me on," Harry said, incredulous. "I mean, rainbow-colored polka dots?? And Professor Dumbledore??" He paused. "Oh nevermind, I guess that does make sense."

Snaped nodded silently at him. Harry realized the man's hand was still resting on his shoulder after all this time. Had he forgotten about it? Strangely enough, or maybe not so strange when he considered all that had happened since yesterday morning, he didn't really mind. Snape's hand was warm, and now that he acknowledged its presence, small tingles began speeding through his body.

Please don't let Professor Dumbledore notice! Harry noiselessly begged.

But regardless of why it looks the way it does, I will not allow that abomination," Snape waved his free hand towards the larger pair of underwear, "anywhere near my body."

"You know, I don't think I'd feel very comfortable talking to my underwear if I had to send Snape—"

"Professor Snape, Harry."

"—a message."

Snape's fingers clenched almost impreceptibly around his shoulder; Harry turned his head to flash a tiny smile at him. When he moved his head back, he saw Dumbledore watching them, curiousity shining in his eyes. Then the old man's gaze dropped to Harry's shoulder, but, more importantly, Snape's hand. Harry shifted forward, desperate to cause a distraction. His emerald eyes fell onto the gaudy underwear.

"You know, I think this might actually be a brilliant plan," the teen said, reaching out a hand to take his pair.

Snape pointed a quizzical look down at him.

"But you just said—"

"Yeah, I know. But just think. When someone takes you hostage, what do they take? Your jewelry, your wand, your personal effects, etc. Anything that might be something else than what it looks like. But who would think to go after your underwear? I mean, it's the most unsuspecting thing you could use."

Dumbledore and Snape both stared at him in shock. Harry frowned at them, annoyed. Was it that surprising that he could think?

Snape's expression turned thoughtful.

"The color may give it away though."

"Oh not necessarily!" Harry answered. "They'll just think we're gay."