This narrative was molded around the short story I recently posted in my other fanfic 'Elegant, Graceful, and Clumsy'. Because of a recent fic posting by fellow author Merk (you may know her as Mrs. Mercury Megatron, now calling herself PointyEdgesofaSign), I was compelled to draft a similar set of quickie-shorts based on ten randomly shuffled songs. More details on how it works can be found on her set of shorts in '10 Typos for Awerewolf'.
The inspiration for this one story in particular was a song performed by Chicago by the name 'Hard Habit To Break'
Important Note to Readers: We're back with Po again as he continues to reveal his past to the ever-curious elder Su Lang... Read, Review, and Enjoy!
Hard Habit To Break
Part Five – Hold On My Heart
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He ran.
His small ears twitching atop his head with the sound of his heavy footfall impacting the ground beneath him, fallen leaves crunching beneath his feet like delicate pieces of glass. The thick denseness of the maple forest which surrounded him seemed to go on forever, drowning out his soul under an endless canopy of intertwining tree branches, now brazened with the radiant display of autumn's color.
It had almost been sixteen months following his adverse flight from the Valley of Peace, and the giant panda had grown restless and disoriented, no longer certain of which direction he was traveling in. Using only the night sky as his guide, Po moved quickly from village to town, over towering mountains and across mighty rivers; the constant uncertainty of the future always throwing itself in the male's path.
His head and feet throbbed in pain; the panda's body was drained and trembling from malnutrition.. But Po ignored the physical pain that he felt, for he remained overwhelmed within an immense state of emotional agony.
Wherever he went didn't matter; the panda just wanted to stay as far from his old home as he possibly could.
Home. The Valley of Peace…
Po wouldn't admit it to himself that he missed it dearly..
What he had done was nothing short of insensible and heartless. What of Master Shifu.. and his fellow Masters, all of whom cared so genuinely about him? And what of the villagers, who all looked upon Po as their hero and savior? He let them all down—Mr. Ping.. His caring father.
God only knows what this had done to him.
He had failed them all. But more than anything or anyone else, the one individual he was most disappointed in.. Was himself. Why did he have to leave them? Why couldn't he just settle his differences with Tigress and move on with his life as her friend..?
Tigress…
His heart melted with her name echoing through the cavernous depths of his mind. The days passed so quickly now, but there were some moments where time would stop, where Po would become lost in the past with her by his side.
He could almost hear her voice calling out to him through the darkness, beckoning for him to return to her..
But that was not reality; all he had now known to understand, was that he was alone.
Po stopped, gripping his chest in pain.
Falling to his knees, his jade eyes were drawn up skyward to the heavens above. There was no Moon that night; he would have to rest at least until morning, because his being was physically and mentally shattered, practically screaming out for respite. Po crawled over to a nearby boulder, and propped himself up against it.
His eyes scanned across the immensity of the night sky.. it was truly a breathtaking sight to behold.
He remembered spending many nights with Tigress just like this, sitting atop the tiled roof of the Hall of Heroes with her, wrapped contentedly in each other's arms, both of them gazing up at the innumerable twinkling lights shining so brightly above. But, these beautiful memories with her only brought more anguish. She hated him for what he put her though...
Over time, he concluded that it was entirely his fault for what had happened between them.
Was it any wonder she left him for Xiao..?
He seemed like the perfect gentleman, so attentive and kind—she definitely deserved someone like him.
A solitary tear cascaded down his cheek; Po buried his face in his paws, sobbing in despair. He felt so miserable and alone, or at least, that's what he believed. Just several hundred feet down the path he had been traveling on, a young woman's ears perked; alerted by the softened tone of wailing in the distance.
Her pace quickened, curiosity soon getting the best of her, to try and find the source of the commotion breaking the silence of the midnight air. She pushed into the clearing, and saw Po lying there against the large boulder, crying out through the darkness.
The woman crouched down behind a row of rhododendron bushes to keep herself relatively concealed. She was reasonably surprised to see someone like him out in this isolated region.. Giant Pandas were few and far between as far as she knew, and although those that she had seen were for the most part slothful and lazy creatures, this one had a different aura about him.
He was much different; a rather majestic looking being, and dare she admit, very handsome…
The young maiden sighed, and weighed her options; did she dare make her presence known to the Panda? She certainly didn't know of the circumstances surrounding his situation.. But she knew one thing for sure – He needed help. Standing back up on her feet, the cloaked female began to make her way over to him, only to be roughly seized from behind. She yelped and pivoted on her heel to keep herself steady.
She could feel the warm breath of another close to her neck..
A deep male voice whispered in her ear, "Didn't your mother ever tell you that it's dangerous to be out alone after dark?" The female shivered uncontrollably at the close contact as the male assailant drew his tongue across her cheek. "I think I'm going to bring you home with me."
"LEAVE ME ALONE!" She shrieked, almost immediately alerting Po..The panda jumped to his feet and turned in their direction.
"HEY! Get away from her!"
The man's ears perked keenly with Po's tone of voice, and inadvertently released the young woman from his grasp. "Stay out of this panda; you don't know what you're dealing with."
"No, it's you who doesn't know. I suggest you leave, while you have the chance."
"And who here is going to stop me.. You?"
Po nodded, "Me."
He assumed a battle stance while the bandit laughed at the seemingly pathetic-looking panda. He failed to realize that he was making a terrible mistake in identity.
"You!? You're just a--" He didn't have the chance to finish his sentence, however.
Po lunged forward and landed a palm-heel right to the hooded animal's face, forcing the malefactor to crumble up and collapse to the ground. Po stood back for a moment to crack his knuckles, but soon felt the agonizing sting from lack of food and sleep return, coursing through every vein in his body. He recoiled at the insurmountable pain and fell to one knee, tightly clutching his stomach. Feeling a paw tightly grasp his shoulder, he turned his head to see the woman from before standing over him.
"Come on big guy, my home isn't too far off from here. You're coming with me--"
He couldn't distinguish any facial features, but her voice was smooth and reassuring..
Po nodded without a second thought, and after several failed attempts to regain his balance, they made their way deeper into the forest. He was nudged along by the female's soothing words of encouragement to keep on moving, although in all honesty his conscious thoughts were drifting further and further away…
Su Lang sat quietly, looking at Po with a most curious stare..
His story was so much more than the elderly mammal had originally anticipated. He spoke with an eerily calming, yet dark tone, one that was riddled with pain and self-pity. And this tiger he spoke of.. Truly this young traveler was in quite the conundrum, and she struggled to figure on how to respond to such a profound chronicle in this man's life.
For the moment, she remained focused on this Tigress individual.. She sounded so jarringly familiar, but for one reason or another, Su couldn't put a face on this person's identity. And she silently swore that her old age wouldn't take her mind..
Taking another sip of tea, she shifted her attention briefly to the couple sitting several tables behind the cloaked traveler. They had gradually caught wind of his conversation with her, and now sat fully turned, listening attentively to the giant panda as he poured out his emotions without so much as a passing thought.
She glared at them, and once they noticed the frown that had formed on the elderly woman's wrinkled face, the two eavesdroppers immediately turned away and back into their own corner of the room, whispering quietly amongst themselves, most likely about what she was supposed to be listening to..
The female sighed, and shifted her eyes back to the panda. He kept on speaking without pause, making her hesitant of whether or not he had even noticed her now faltering attentiveness. It was if he wasn't even carrying a conversation with her anymore; his eyes held a dull gaze, almost as if the man was speaking past her and onto a different cosmic plain. Impassive and monotone, his words spilled out into the stale air like a thick venomous gas that sent cold shivers up the rabbit's spine.
She was captivated, but strangely frightened for this young man's well-being.
Two years he had bottled himself up tight, keeping a cold shoulder towards everyone he met. But still, that didn't seem to fit his personality, at least to what he was describing earlier.. He had a wonderful life, and a very loving relationship, and then…
Pain; the pain of rejection. Misfortune and angst, fear and doubt... This man had clearly seen it all, in such a short time.
She needed to lighten the depressing atmosphere; maybe if she could just get a word in edgewise.. "I don't mean to interrupt, but could I maybe interest you in a tray of bean buns?"
The monochromatically furred panda stopped, and titled his head slightly in confusion. "I-I guess that's fine if you--"
"Great! They're about to go bad anyway. Let me go get some while they're still edible!" She hopped down from the chair and made her way into the kitchen with a stride, leaving a very conflicted Po behind.
"Bean buns? Why does that sound so—Dad." He whispered; Po remembered back to that day so long ago.. Almost three years and four months since that tournament, and the one day that would change his life forever. Images of Master Shifu and that wise old tortoise Oogway flooded through the troubled young panda's mind, resurfacing the homesickness he had long since forgotten.
The Dragon Scroll, Tai Lung, and the others.. All of the good memories, and the bad, regained incredible momentum.
How much had he really left behind? A chapter in his lifetime?
'No..'
There was Po the noodle-maker; the apprentice to an old goose that had aspirations for his son to take over his restaurant, and entrust him with the one ingredient that built his success.
And then came the hopes and dreams of being something more: The Dragon Warrior.
Yes, it was another farfetched ambition and the panda's utmost wish, in the depths of one vivid imagination his for the taking.. A Master of Kung-Fu, Grand Master Oogway, in the unbounded compassion of his ancient heart, had fulfilled Po's wildest dreams of being a Kung-Fu warrior. But, not just a warrior..
The warrior. The Chosen One, who would ultimately save an entire Valley from annihilation at the hands of one who was not as fortunate as he was…
He had brought peace not only to the Valley, but also to one man who, for the past twenty years of his existence, had been slowly tearing himself apart from the inside out, over the one person he had loved more than anyone or anything in his entire life.
Then, there was the apple of his eye, and the only object of his burning desires; one woman who was at the epitome of absolute perfection. In his summation, she was a goddess on Earth. And after waking up every morning for years to mere paintings and figurines of the legendary feline Master, and staring endlessly out his window skyward to the majesty of the Jade Palace, where his Princess was waiting, he finally had the chance to tell her how he felt..
But what he hadn't realized was that through it all, through the open hatred and resentment she had expressed to him in the beginning, Tigress harbored the same intense feelings for him as he did for her.
It wasn't just a chapter in Po's life; it was one father's pride, one hope to be more, one scroll to save countless lives, one Master who learned to live again--
One woman, one man… Two separate worlds, but one unified love.
Many paths, but only one destiny.
Po cupped his paws around his muzzle and leaned forward, putting his elbows in contact with the hard surface of the table. Slowly, he shut his eyes to await Su Lang's return..
"Po? Po, wake up.."
He stirred at the sound of the calming voice, and drowsily rolled onto his side. "Hmmm… Wha—what's going on?" Cracking his eyes open slightly, he saw Tigress kneeling beside him, lovingly stroking the backside of her paw against his cheek.
She smiled softly at him, "You don't remember anything, do you?"
"Not really.. Why, did I eat my way into unconsciousness again?" He propped himself up using his arms, and let his eyes scan across the room, observing the strong beams of sunlight streaking across the floor. With a sigh, Po rested his gaze back on Tigress. "So then, I guess Monkey finally caught me taking his cookies.."
"No."
"Master Shifu heard me say he was a stumpy old man?"
She laughed, "Not quite.."
"Viper's makeup?"
"Not-- wait, why?"
"It's nothing to concern yourself with." Po sighed, and focused his attention to the ceiling. "Okay, I give up, what brilliant thing did I do this time?"
Tigress rolled her eyes. "You said you wanted to try training on the Spinning Dragons.." She paused to see if he was catching on, and seeing that he was simply staring blankly at her, she continued, "But one of the clubs caught you off guard..." The giant panda cringed as to where this was probably going, but nevertheless politely stayed silent to let her finish. "—it knocked you square in the head."
"Why was I doing—" He began.
"You said that the Adversary wasn't good enough for you, so I reluctantly let you try out some of the other equipment. I guess I was right to be concerned…" The feline playfully scratched Po's temple with her fingers to point out the bandages that had been wrapped around his head.
"You've been out cold for almost fourteen hours."
Po sucked in a large breath. "Wow, it must have been a pretty bad beating then."
She smirked, "Yes, it was; much worse than the first time you were on it."
"Please don't remind me."
They both fell silent for some time, taking in the pleasure of each other's company. Po noticed after a while that Tigress didn't seem very alert as she usually was, something that was definitely not like her at all.. Her head bobbed up and down like a ship on rough seas, eyelids heavy with exhaustion; then it hit him when he heard the instantly recognizable sound of a certain tiger's yawn..
'Up all night again, were we?'
He sighed at her insistence—that was always Tigress' way. When she was focused on something, she would forget everything else and center all of her effort and energy on it.
She wanted to make Master Shifu proud, so she trained until her soul bled, intercepted Tai Lung for the sake of a title she wanted but never earned… Befriended the Dragon Warrior and helped him become what he was today—a slightly less clumsy version of his old self with mad Kung Fu skills.
He smirked at that last thought.
Po had to admit to himself that he loved how she would never let him out of her sight, always shielding and watching over him like he was her infant child..
For instance, Viper held the most well-versed medical knowledge up at the Palace, but Tigress was the only one who could tend to his injuries; Mantis understood almost every technique known to man in the practice of acupuncture, but every time the insect would attempt to put a needle up to the panda's body, she snarled and swept the pin-box away.. Monkey argued with Po over the best ways to prepare dumplings, and she would be the first to break them up; and so the list went on and on…
He didn't mind that she was being a little over-protective, but this was getting a tad bit extreme; Tigress was making herself sick to keep him healthy. Now that was a scary thought; especially seeing that the giant panda, for the most part, was nothing more than a 'walking accident waiting to happen', as Master Shifu had so delicately put it.
Po smiled and pulled her down next to him. "You need to get some rest, okay?"
"I don't need to sleep, I feel fine." However, Tigress' facial expression betrayed her words.
Nevertheless, she started to get up, only to be stopped by Po's paw as it gripped tightly to her shoulder. She fell back onto the ground, and with one fluid movement, he was on top of her, pinning both of her arms to the floor.
"Tigress, you are going to take it easy, even if I have to force you."
"Po, don't forget that I am more than capable of giving you additional head injuries.." She smirked after he eased his grip on her arms. The giant panda put a finger up to her lips, and with a swift nonchalant movement, pulled a wool sheet over them both.
"Comfortable?"
The female tiger nodded, merely responding with a small purr as Po's lips gently brushed up against her nose. He closed his eyes, a grin growing on his face once he felt her arms wrap around him, and her head burying itself into the thick fur on his neck.
And, before either of them realized it, they had both drifted off into a deep sleep…
It was yet another beautiful dream, just one of many wonderful memories of the time he had spent with her..
Waking from his slumber, Po could feel the warmth of the sun across his face through closed eyes, subconsciously wondering whether his soul was flirting with the Eternal Plane or not.. He certainly hadn't felt so at ease for a great span of time that even he himself could not recall. Slowly but surely, he opened his jade green eyes, only to meet the warm gaze of a white tiger standing over him, a curious look adorning her features.
It was the woman whom he had met in the forest, but, why was she—
"Oh good, you're awake.. I was beginning to think you would never come out of unconsciousness!"
She rinsed a rag in a basin of cool water, and softly pressed it against the giant panda's forehead. As his vision gradually focused and adjusted to the light, he was finally able to distinguish just where this young woman had brought him…
He was indoors, that much he knew; the room was very nicely furnished, and judging by the adverse collection of tapestries and paintings she owned, must have had quite an eclectic taste in fine art.
With a soft sigh escaping his lips, Po focused full attention to his body, which had been cleaned and mended from the many months of living in the elements without anything except the clothing he wore, that, also to his surprise, and slight embarrassment, was on the other side of the room, folded neatly in a small pile on a small table. He was now wearing a forest green cotton tunic of some sort, very clean and simple, with only one embroidered lotus blossom on the left sleeve.
'Amazing' was all the Dragon Warrior could think.
Just as he felt that his life was about to end at the unremitting hands of Mother Nature, the fates had given him a second chance. But, why? Everything in his life up until this point was nothing short of a catastrophe.. His mind was so lost in thought that he hadn't even realized the female cat sitting his side, delicately holding a steaming bowl of soup in her paws.
"Are you hungry?" Was all that needed to be said to get Po's complete notice.
The panda greedily took the bowl and shoved it to his mouth, devouring the contents of the porcelain food-ware in a matter of seconds. Weakly wiping his arm against his lips, his gaze locked with hers, earning an uneasy giggle from the feline. The faintest ghost of a smile on his face assured her that he was relaxed. She took the bowl from him and set it aside, taking a moment to scan over the weary panda. This didn't go undetected on Po's end, however.
He eyed her inquisitively as her paws cautiously approached his personal space, ready to defend himself. When her fingers came into contact with his exposed upper body, he quickly shifted back, making the feline chuckle.
"I'm just checking your stitches; it's nothing to get worked up about."
"Oh, sorry."
He knew she was only trying to help him, but nevertheless kept a wary eye on her as she carefully ran her fingers across the sewn up wounds on his chest..He was clearly uncomfortable; Po hadn't interacted with anyone in quite some time, which was odd, since back in the Valley he was probably the most sociable and easily approachable person in existence..
Though it wasn't just that; she was nursing him back to health, and had been in closer contact than he would have liked, his jade eyes casting another passing glance at his personal belongings again from across the room. This hadn't escaped her notice, and with a soft sigh, she folded her legs in a lotus position next to him.
"I didn't take advantage of you, so you can get that thought out of your head right now."
Po blew a breath through his lips and smiled, the first time in way too long.. "Why are you helping me?"
"What?" She looked genuinely surprised. "Because you needed aid, and I wasn't going to leave you out there to die.. Idiot." That last word escaped under her breath. "Besides, you saved me from that thug; that at least deserves some kind of retribution, right?"
He laughed, "Nah, I was just in the right place at the right time, I guess."
"Well, thank you for being there." She leaned forward and gave Po a gentle kiss on the cheek. Slowly pulling back, their eyes met again, only this time, there was a flash of mutual attraction between the two.
The panda looked back at the female tiger in awe.
Although he didn't want to acknowledge it, she was captivatingly beautiful.. Her eyes were a stunning cobalt blue, like lipid pools of crystal clear water…
Po violently wrestled with his emotions, trying desperately to keep his mind clear and focused. He had vowed to never let feeble emotions like love blind him again, but in time, Po became lost in her intoxicating gaze.
And she was no different.. His eyes, his face, his smile…
Everything about the panda made her want to collapse in his strong arms, to hold her and express her burning desires, to say that she loved him with every last ounce of her soul. For the young female tiger, it was love at very first sight. The snow white feline pulled herself closer to him, until she could feel her whiskers brushing against the downy soft fur on his ashen face.
Their lips gently grazed against the other's, and before either of them had realized it, came crashing together for a second contact.
At first, Po eased comfortably into the exchange, letting her body tenderly rest against his well defined chest, but soon enough, his eyes went wide with the realization of what they were doing. He put two open palms on her shoulders and pushed her away..
Saliva hung from his bottom lip as his face heated in embarrassment. She fell back onto her paws, heart pounding against her ribcage, scrambling to put into words what had just happened between them.
"I-I'm sorry. I, uh--I didn't mean to.." The young feline turned her head in an attempt to hide the very visible flush that had formed under her snow-white fur.
Po didn't say anything. He jumped to his feet, and dashed for the nearest exit, grabbing his clothes from the small table near the door. She extended her paw out to the fleeing panda, silently wishing for him to stop, but in the end, let him go..
She knew that she would never see him again.
Her head fell as tears began to stream down her face; he was the closest thing to love she had ever experienced before, and the epitome of the dramatic irony was, she didn't even know his name…
Running for what seemed to him like an eternity, Po never once gave a passing glance over his shoulder to see if he was being followed.. But deep down he knew that she would let him go. She was a beautiful feline, there was no doubt.. tended to his injuries, and shared an intimate moment that Po understood he wouldn't soon forget. And the further he went, the more he thought of going back. But what if she—like Tigress before her—decided to toss him aside?
Po couldn't handle the hurt of being let go a second time…
He kept his quickened pace until he was sure that he was far away from there, far enough away from the pain that had again reignited deep within the panda's soul.
But that was a lie.. And he understood that.
Ignoring the cascading tears flowing from his eyes, he continued on, spotting the flat-topped peaks of the Tibetan Plateau far off in the evening mist.. Twinkling lights of a distant village lay nestled below the imposing mountain range.
"Tigress, I'm so sorry… Please, forgive me."
"You're thinking about her again, aren't you?"
Po's tear drenched eyes followed the wood grain of the table to Su, who was sitting patiently across from him, a tray of steaming bean buns clasped between her paws. He wiped the backside of his paw against his nose, an ever persistent troubled look adorning his worn features. The panda didn't speak, but nodded in acknowledgement to her question.
Setting the tray of steaming rolls down, the elder figure gently rested one hand over his, and sighed. "I understand. Your heart breaks every time you hear her name.. As is the way of love, once it's beyond your grasp, everything else seems to fall apart at the seams."
"How could you understand!? She was everything to me! You don't know—"
"Oh, but I do." She looked onto him with a solemn expression. "My husband, always such the brave soul, he was… Some years ago, during the Mongolian Invasion, he was called to serve in the Emperor's Imperial Army. He swore to me that he would return some day, someday.. A day which never came to pass." Su felt a tear roll down her cheek; she hasn't spoken about her husband's fate to anyone before. "I loved that man, always making me smile, even when I couldn't find a reason to.."
Po gripped her hand in his large paw. "I-I'm so sorry Su, I didn't know."
Su smiled. "Po, it's alright.. We both experienced something that can't be replaced. Love is much like an old habit; easy to take for granted, but, hard to break. "
The giant panda merely nodded in agreement, and for a moment, silence befell both of them.
"You still love her, don't you?"
"Yes.. I do. With every fiber of my being, I do."
"And you want her back?"
The panda leaned back in his chair, soaking in the curious female's question. After everything that had happened between them, after all they had been through together.. The love, the happiness, the pain and deceit, every moment, both with her and without her--
"No.."
To be continued…