Disclaimer: If I owned Avatar, the finale would have been completely redone by now with far fewer plot holes. This has not happened, so I obviously don't own Avatar.
Pairings: ZUTARA discussion and some mention of Sukka (in reference to Suki kicking Sokka's ass, again). No real Sokka x everyone implications this time, but that delightful Toph-Sokka dynamic is still there. It's just too much fun to write.
Spoilers: Same as part one, but with one very, very minor spoiler for one of the only parts of the finale that's worth spoiling, in my opinion.
Thanks to: The member of CAPSLOCK_ZUTARA that pointed out the lack of Saint Jun in part one. It gave me an idea...
No thanks to: The document uploader. Doing my own HTML encoding is still easier. At least it behaved better this time.
FAIR WARNING ONCE AGAIN: In case that first pairing in all caps didn't make it clear enough, this is a pro-Zutara fic, and a snarky one at that. If you don't like Zutara... you DO know where your back button is, don't you? (In that case, why the hell would you be reading part two anyways?!) Other than that, all ambiguities, implications, and innuendos are specifically labeled "interpret as you will".
Dark and Intriguing...? Part Two
"Now this is dark and intriguing, but only because Wang Fire insists on being an idiot at night!" -- Toph
Wang Fire crept in a highly exaggerated manner to a remote corner of the royal estate on Ember Island. For what reason, who knew, and only Suki and Toph were likely to be able to force it out of him. He paused his creeping momentarily when he thought he heard a sound behind him, but he only got a few steps further before his feet found a patch of quicksand -- or so he thought.
"Sokka, when are you going to learn that I feel that ridiculous creep even better than your normal walk? And that's not taking into account that you make enough noise to wake Bosco from hibernation."
"Who are you talking to? Sokka's still asleep!"
"Okay then, Wang Fire, but my point still stands. If you don't want me to catch you going somewhere in the middle of the night, stick to rooftops and trees."
"Advice noted. Good night, Miss Bei Fong."
She sunk Wang Fire in the dirt up to his knees. "Not so fast! I caught you, now I get to join in on the midnight fun too... or should I inform Suki that your good buddy Sokka is cheating on her behind her back? That ass kicking would sell tickets faster than the Earth Rumble championships!"
Wang Fire gulped and answered in a small voice, "No, no, I would be quite honored to be in your company this evening, oh greatest earthbender that ever lived. I am just going to meet... an associate. In that stand of trees over there." He pointed somewhere off in the distance.
She shook her head and propelled him out of the ground (and onto his face). "Wherever the hell 'over there' is, start walking in that direction. I'll figure it out."
Wang Fire resumed creeping in the direction of his destination until a rock to his rump convinced him that he would be better off just walking over there like a somewhat normal person.
When they arrived at the meeting place, a woman with dark hair, tattooed shoulders, and a whip was waiting for them, lounging on a rock. "About damn time someone showed up... the hell? You expect me to believe that you're old enough for facial hair, kid?"
Wang Fire huffed, his voice getting louder and deeper as he began, "I am the great Wang Fire, legendary lover of the ladies, I am not some---" A rock hand clamped over his mouth.
"He's being an idiot. I suspect cactus juice is involved."
Jun looked mischievously wistful for a moment as she mused, "Ah, cactus juice. I spiked an entire tavern's green tea with it one night. That was fun. I spiked their ale with it the next night. I almost got arrested for that," she smirked. "So, kid with the fake beard, how is our little project progressing?"
"Well, Angry Boy and Angry Boy's Scary New Girlfriend are trying to hide their affair, although Rocks -- OW, DAMMIT TOPH, not funny -- has known about it the entire time, has seen fit to notify no one, and continues to tease Handsome, Brilliant Swordsman mercilessly about his relationship with Lovely Fan Warrior despite the presence of other suitable targets; Jerky Thief and Sheddy don't care, but Arrows is still in denial---" Jun cut him off.
"Kid? When I said to use code names earlier, I meant code names that I'd understand, like "bald kid", "waterbender", "bison", "lemur", "earthbender" ("That's earthbending master, and I can bend metal too!"), "new girl", and "idiot with the boomerang". I understood Angry Boy, and Angry Boy's Scary New Girlfriend would be fine if it weren't so damn long. Now, start over."
"...Sokka's not just the 'idiot with the boomerang'," Wang Fire pouted.
"I dunno, sounds pretty accurate to me..." Toph chirped while Jun chuckled in the background.
"I like you. Beardo, hurry it up. There are tavern brawls I'm missing."
Wang Fire sighed, his persona beginning to slip. "Angry Boy and the waterbender are apparently involved, and the earthbending master over here figured it out first, kept quiet about it, and kept teasing me, ahem, 'the idiot with the boomerang' about his girlfriend, the new girl. Neither the bison nor the lemur seem to care, although the bison rather likes Angry Boy, hell if I know why, and the bald kid is still in denial about it all. The new girl wonders when the two of them are going to fess up," he groaned before he continued, "and 'the idiot with the boomerang' has come to terms with it all because his sister -- the waterbender -- could have done a lot worse than Angry Boy... and he doesn't want to die. Mostly because he doesn't want to die. Is that all?"
"For now. Damn, I didn't have to set those two up. Looks like I lost the bet with Uncle Lazy. Maybe I can pass off those jugs of shirshu spit that I gave him last week as my payment. Said something about delaying some girl's departure from prison. As long as I get paid, what the hell do I care what he uses it for?"
"Lady? That's not gonna work. I get half of Iroh's winnings."
"Y-you're," he pointed in Toph's unresponsive face, "a degenerate gambler!"
"I'm a thrill-seeker, you bearded moron. Thrill-seeker. I don't just gamble for entertainment. Besides, it was way too much fun cheating those lying bastards out of their money, and your buddy Sokka was entirely too happy to help. Anyway, this was set up months ago, long before Zuko ditched his daddy."
"Y-you're a degenerate gambler and a spy!" Toph sighed and clocked him with a small rock.
"I really like her. Do you know anything more specific about their relationship that I can report back?"
"Ask her," he poked Toph in the shoulder, "she's the one that figured it out first." Toph smiled devilishly, and if he had been paying attention, he would have realized that this was a Very Bad Thing.
"Well, I can't do their faces, being blind and all," Toph started as a stomp of her foot sent several pairs of statues shooting out of the ground, "but the positions of the figures should be accurate."
Wang Fire took one good look at the figures, squeaked, and fainted. Toph and Jun shared a gleeful cackle.
"So, Little Badass, did you have to set Angry and the waterbender up?"
"Not unless you count distracting bald boy and the idiot as setting them up, although I did try to talk all of them out of killing Zuko when he first showed up."
"No wonder Uncle Lazy likes you. So, what are you going to do about Beardo? Drag him back to camp?"
"Nah, I think I'll just make him comfortable right here. Tell Iroh I say hi?"
"Sure, next time I see him. Might be a while. Last time I checked, he was rounding up some other old guys for some damn reason or another. Gotta go, bounties to hunt, bets to make, fights to start."
"Sounds like fun. See ya!"
Jun smirked and ran off into the brush. A minute later, the startled shouts of pirates and what sounded like Jun cracking her whip and yelling, "Okay, you lazy asses! Time to go! MOVE!" filtered back to Toph's ears. She grinned and returned her attention to Wang Fire, still lying on the ground, out cold.
She cracked her knuckles. "Looks like it's time for me to tuck you in for the night, oh great Wang Fire."
The unconscious Wang Fire twitched and whimpered.
A puzzled look. "Why is Sokka wearing a fake beard?"
An eye-roll. "It's his Wang Fire getup. What's he doing way out here?"
A shrug. "No idea. His bed looks comfortable. Toph's doing?"
A confident smirk. "Of course. Do you think he'll be able to get out of it?"
A wry chuckle. "No."
A conspiratorial grin. "I wonder if cactus juice was involved?"
A matching smile. "...Want to find out?"
Zuko and Katara smiled at each other, donned their secret ninja masks, and ran into the woods to "investigate".