Match Making
Chapter 3: 'Magical' Potions
POV: Axel
I know that, unlike some people, for me to hear: "Okay Nobodies, I have some good news. So all of you get your asses down to the meeting room!" blaring across the intercoms, because Xemnas happened to yell those two sentences, is not a good way to wake up in the morning. Also rolling out of bed, hitting your head on your nightstand, and trying to untangle yourself from the sheets that fell down with you is yet another bad way to wake up. So using all of these clues I have come up with that today is going to suck.... majorly!
Rubbing my sore head I walked down to Roxas's room, because I was pretty sure that the kid was still asleep. Hell the kid could probably sleep through a hurrican. Actually he has but it wasn't nessicarily a hurrican but it was pretty damn close.
Me and him haven't been on the closest terms with each other, but I wouldn't say that we hate each other... Well I don't hate him, but I don't know about him though. He's still mad at me because of the shower insident. I think it's kinda funny really because the kid looks so damn sexy when he's pissed off. Its been about what.... two weeks since he's been here? Three? Oh well. Its hard to tell time here in the World That Never Was anyway so why bother?
Nearing Roxas' room I stopped short, thinking about how I was going to wake him up. Suddenly I had an idea. Smirking evily I slowly opened the door so that if he was awake he wouldn't notice the door opening. I peaked around the door to where his bed lay. Yep, just as I had guessed, still asleep. Making my way over to his bathroom, I found a cup in there, used for holding Roxas's toothbrush, and filled it up with water. Chuckling quietly to myself, I went to the side of the bed, and looked down at him. He looks so cute, almost beautiful, when he's asleep. I kinda felt sorry for what I was about to do, but that quickly went away. I stood back a little and poured the cup of water on his face, screaming "WAKIE WAKIE ROXY!!!"
POV: Roxas
I stood in the meeting room, looking at the other members of the organization, with only one though running through my head: 'I could easily be everyones prison bitch.' Which is a really wierd thing to have going through your head. Because sadly enough its true. So if they ever got bored one day, then I could easily become the 'Organization Sex Toy' and they would no longer use my real name, they'd just say something along the lines of 'hey Sex Toy come here I fell like getting laid!'
..........Needless to say my mind is not one of the healthiest. I blame Axel. Yes, blame Axel for all of the wierd thoughts that happen to pass through at random moments. It always feels good to blame other people for your own problems, so why not just blame that freaky-perverted-redheaded-pedophile........
Speaking of freaky-perverted-redheaded-pedophiles here he comes right now! Crap!! Run Roxas run!! Run for your life!! RRRUUUNNN!!
Sadly enough I'm not the type of person who listens to their head. Mine's a piece of crap anyway!
So when I noticed that Axel was headed my direction, I continued to stay where I was at. Besides if I did run there would be no way that I could make it up to my chair. Who the HELL made the chairs fifty feet in the air anyway? Stupid people making it hard of other people to run away from freaky-perverted-redheaded-pedophiles.
"Hi Roxy baby!! You ready to get to your chair now?" I twitched when he said the 'Roxy baby' part. But I nodded anyway. Curse my ability to not scream 'PEDOPHILE!!!!!' and run for the hill!..... Not that there are any hills in this world, but I would run until I found some and then run some more.
Axel smiled and grabbed my wrist and I was no longer on the floor below us, but in my chair. Which happens to be the second highest, Xemnas's is the first, so it was pretty high up. I don't like heights. I sat down feeling a bit queasy. I noticed that Axel was still standing beside me. I looked up, glaring at him. How dare he stay in my personal chair! It's mine damnit!! Resisting the urge to shout 'Mine!' in a wierd raspy voice I asked harshly "What do you want?"
He smirked and said a quiet 'Nothing.' before disappearing to sit on his own chair. Why the hell was he smirking? Did he find pornographic pictures of me on the internet or something? ..... Wait there were no porno pictures of me...... right? Right? I was starting to get a little fricked out. Oh no! What if they caught the bad side of my face?! Or what if I was making a stupid look? OR--
Thankfully that whole train of wierd chickish thoughts were cut off by Xemnas walking into the room. The room which had been fairly loud was now dead silent. You could actually hear the crickets that Demyx had hidden in his pocket.
POV: Third person
Xemnas looked around the room at the other members before taking a deep breath.
"Okay Nobodies I have some good news........ well some of you will find it as good, while others find it as bad. So I have good news and bad news depending on who's actually listening to this speech."
Those who were being good and paying attention had sheepish looks on their faces, because everyone, even Saix, has been known to space out during two or more of these meetings.
"Anyway I have dicovered a magical potion! For some world called Hog- something. And with this potion you are able to find your soul mate. Now this only works on the same species. You know like humans-humans and animals-animals. So I got to thinking that maybe it will work on us Nobodies sense we are not human, but nor are we animals, but our own species. So I think it will work on us since we are an even number now." Xemnas noticed the confused looks and added, "We're counting Namine in this to. So I'm going to make all of you take this potion and see who are soul mates are!" That last part was said oddly cheerfully.
"So," Someone said. And apon further inspection it was Axel. "Basically you're going to force all of us, except for two, into being gay...?" (Just about everyone in the room's thinking: OMG! Axel's got a problem with it?! I thought he was gay!!!)
"Yep!!" Once again came a cheerful reply
"....Why?"
"Because I said so damnit!! And before you all try to run away I have disconnected your ability to warp and the doors are locked!"
This was kind of getting creepy. Well for one the cheerful voice that Xemnas was using was scaring the crap out of everyone, and that Saix was looking shocked. Saix alway knew what Xemnas was planning but this was all news to him. Not that he was aganist the idea of finding his soul mate, he was just mad that Xemnas hadn't told him about his plans.
Roxas looked around the room wondering why everyone wasn't making a big deal out of this. Maybe it hasn't registered yet or something because this is starting to freak me out, a lot!!! he thought. Sure enough every nobody in the room (which was all of them, even Namine who's sitting on the floor) had blank expressions on their faces. Except Axel who was looking at Roxas with a perverted look on his face. Of course every look on Axel's face looks perverted to Roxas.
"Okay Nobodies when I call your name jump down onto the floor. And Namine stay where you're at. Okay: Demyx, Luxord, Zexion, Roxas, Larxene." Xemnas shouted
Nobody moved.
"Get your asses out of your chair before I come down there!"
Demyx, Luxord, Zexion, Roxas, and Larxene all jumped down at the same time.
"Good! Now you people on the ground you guys are the ukes!" All the males, except Roxas, who had already guessed that he wold be the uke, on the ground yelled "What?!" but Xemnas ignored them. "and those still in chairs will be the semes! Now here's how it's going to go: Going by number order, the ukes will take the potion, which will make them fall asleep, and then the semes will line up and kiss the person who has taken the potion. But if the semes can't wake up the uke then the ukes will take turns in the kissing. And thats how we will do it!!!"
Xemnas appeared on the ground, next to the ukes and called for the semes to come down. The semes obeyed not wanting to spoil Xemnas's good mood
"Okay we'll start with Namine first, 'cause she doesn't have a number!!!!!!"
gosh i love Xemnas in this! he's awesome but more than a bit out of character... oh well and again more perverted crack! and slight cliffhanger...