Hello, people from planet Jupiter and beyond! To get the annoying copyright thing outta my way, -ahem-

I am not, nor shall I ever be James Patterson, unless we don't live in the world of reality.

Iggy's POV

'INTERNATIONAL WEEK' the banner read. Of course, I couldn't read it myself, but that's what the Gasman said. Each high school student has to dress up to represent a different country. I'm Austria. Who would've thought, the tall blonde playing Hitler? Whoo-hoo. Max is India, so she gets to play dress-up with her friend Teja. Funnily enough, (not,) she's not overly trilled. Fang's Greece and, personally, I told him to go with the toga. He didn't like the idea. Jackie (who, shockingly, is now, my friend. Or, at least, someone outside the flock who I hang out with regularly.) Is some country in the Middle East. I can't remember those weird names at all.

"So, what are you doing for your booth?" she asked me on the way to Social Studies.

"Dunno. Probably just some stuff on Hitler, or some other crap."

"Er, Jeff? Hitler is German."

"Oh. Then what the hell am I supposed to do?"

"How'm I supposed to know? It's your country."

"Well, what's the amazing Jacquelyn doing for… what was it? Where-the-heck-istan?"

"No, idiot." She said, her tone heated at the use of her real name. "It's Syria. You know, Damascus, from the Bible?" Oh… Told you the name was hard to remember! Honestly…

"No, I don't, but, to speed things up, let's pretend I do. So, what are you doing?"

"Oh, I know what I'm doing. Unlike some people. Anyway, I'm probably going to make some Hummus and Damascene cookies. I'm gonna go with the whole Muslim theme, and wear a head scarf and Abya." What, what, and what?

"You lost me. What's a Hum-dum?" She laughed quietly, as she sometimes does when she knows something that many people don't. It gets on my nerve, sometimes, but mostly, I deal with it.

"That's Hummus, Jeff. It's, like, chickpea dip, I guess. Damascene cookies are cookies from Syria's capital, Damascus. Abya's are long black robes that women wear to cover everything but their eyes. Won't be much use for me, huh?" Snore… Wait, she finished? I zoned out after 'dip.' I snored out loud, just to make my point. I heard her mutter

"At least I'm not a Nazi in a personality crisis…" before we entered the classroom.

"Okie-Dokie, kids!" said Mr. Gibbs. "You all have a country assigned, right?" there was a general murmuring of 'yes.' "Okay, tell us then! I wanna know," Our countries had been assigned in homeroom, so Mr. Gibbs had missed most of the action. "GREG!" he yelled. "You first!" Oh boy… The Ad-Lib man is not in a good mood.