So here he had America naked on a hotel bed, studying the video on the laptop screen intently. He wasn't going to let the younger nation sully his bed, after all. And things were going to get very dirty, very fast.

Just because he'd banned porn didn't mean that he was completely ignorant of sexual matters. For goodness' sake, he was romping around with various nations since way before America was even conceived of, and if he said that it was impossible, it was impossibly.

But some kids just couldn't be taught with words. America insisted. America insisted, so he felt fully justified in what he was about to do.

His own clothes were laid neatly over a chair, and, while America was entertaining himself with his damned internet, China decided to pick up America's discarded clothes and fold them. For good measure, he casually hid them under the bed.

America was attractive: there was no way of denying that. He was built nicely, he was endowed pretty well, and his face was pleasant enough to look at for a westerner. If only he would shut the hell up and lie down and take it.

But that was exactly what America was going to do, no? Prove that the video wasn't impossible by re-enacting it?

"Hey, China, you have to get into position too!"

He thought about how lovely it would be to see America's crying face and he was hard. Heh, must have been hanging around Russia for too long.

"Ok, now, you just spit on your hand and lube your dingdong up with it and it should go right i..." America screamed as China did exactly what they saw in the video.

"I told you it was impossible," said China as conversationally as he could, because, damn, it hurt for him too, though probably not as much as it did for America. The thought of it made him thrust harder, seeking to go deeper, drawing out another pained cry from the younger naiton.

"S... stop!"

China shook his head lightly. "It was your idea, after all," he reminded America, reaching downward and physically spreading those cheeks for deeper access.

America reacted by throwing him across the room.

Ah, yes. Always such a strong little boy.

China licked his lips slightly, picking himself up and crossing his arms. America was bleeding a little and it was because of him. "So, was I right?"

The younger nation stared at him as if he was France. Why were kids so troublesome to deal with?

"There is a right way to do these things," said China calmly, retrieving some lubricant from his clothes and slowly approaching the bed. "What that video showed you was not the right way. Let me show you..."

---

The Great Firewall of China went back up once the Olympics was over, with some online dissent that China went ahead and blocked. At least that was over and America wasn't badgering him about censorship anymore. In fact, he'd discovered such a pleasant way to shut the younger nation up...

But there was no time for that... some journalist was talking about milk powder again...

Notes:

Milk power and poisoned puppies: In 2005 (?), some pet food in America was found to contain melamine, that subsequently caused the death of many doggies. The melamine contamination was eventually traced back to China. And still, they thought adding melamine to baby milk powder would be harmless? Really.

Tibet: They don't want to be considered part of China.

Porn: Most of it is not realistic. Virgins beware.

The Great Firewall of China: it exists. It's now blocking youtube.

Timeline: During the Beijing 2008 Summer Olympics. Duh.