Previously…

"I want that too, all of it. I want it." He smiled kissing my head and setting me down, "I'll be downstairs."

"I'll be there soon."

"I'll be waiting." He winked and walked out closing the door. Do females need cold showers? I am guessing yes because I am headed to one. I am glad this happened at least my thoughts were not on the inevitable. I am now all too aware of what day it is, the day I lay my father to rest. I climbed into the shower letting the cool water run down my face, and cried my heart out.

I dressed in a simple black dress. I did my own hair and light make-up. It was me and I wanted to be me today. I stepped out of my new room taking a deep breath and heading downstairs. Alice was immediately at my side, "You look beautiful Bella."

"Thanks."

I was surprised to see my mother, but she seemed calm, no one was with her and I didn't know what to say. She smiled sadly taking my hands in hers.

"I wanted to leave all the information I promised. I won't stay." She gestured to Carlisle. "I spoke with Dr. Cullen, he has all the information for you when you are ready."

"Thank you." I didn't know what else she expected me to say. This was awkward enough. She kissed my head in an odd way, obviously unsure how I would react. I stiffened but I didn't pull away. I could handle this she was my mother, and somewhere deep down despite all of the mistakes I did love her.

She sighed, "I better go. I left something for you, but today is not the day to give it to you." I nodded. She said her goodbyes to the Cullen's and left. I was shocked to say the least, but I tried to pass it off. Feeling a hand on my back I leaned in automatically. I knew it was him.

"We should head out love, are you ready?"

"No, but I have no choice right?" I answered as my eyes watered. I felt him move closer as he led me out the door to the car. The entire family was there to support me, not to mention my friends and Charlie's. Jen hugged me as soon as she saw me, "How are you?"

"I'm holding it together." I answered nervous. I hated these things. It was fortunate that Edward stayed by my side the entire time. I had yet to see the casket, it was of course closed. I wasn't sure how I would take it either, but with my friends I could handle anything right?

The older gentleman smiled sadly, "Miss. Swan, if you would like to view the casket alone first." I nodded following him. I didn't feel Edward but I knew he was close. I ran my hand down the cold, smooth gray casket that now held the body of my beloved father. My mind tossed around many memories of his face, his laugh.

I felt the warm tears as I remembered how nervous he was when I came to live here, how sweet he tried to be. He was always that way. He didn't know how to react to a girl so he just let me do my thing. It was one of the things I liked though, because he gave me room to be me.

I thought of the last time I saw him, then reality hit. He would never see me get married or walk me down the isle. He would never see his first grandchild. I suddenly realized I would be utterly alone. I began to shake, my breathing hitched and I fought to regain control of it. It was if all of the life was being sucked out of me and I didn't care, that was when it all began to go black and I felt the cool hands envelope me.

I awoke on a flat bench, my head resting in Edwards lap. He was gently stroking my hair. Carlisle knelt seeing my eyes open, "How are you feeling?"

"I don't know, what happened?"

He helped me sit up looking me over. I knew he was in doctor mode. "You passed out, it's a normal reaction to stress I just want to make sure you are ok. Lightheaded?"

"Not anymore." I answered honestly glancing to see Edward who had stood, and was across the room speaking in hushed tones with his family. Carlisle smiled kindly, "I think you'll be fine. I have some medication to help you relax if you would like."

"No, I'll be ok." The man appeared again saying when I was ready they would start. I gasped as my heart rate increased again. Carlisle frowned, and before I knew what end was up Edward was handing me a glass of water.

"What's this for?"

Carlisle handed me a small pill. "Take this sweetheart, it will take the edge off." I nodded deciding right now I need all of the help I can get. My life was broken now and I had to figure out a way to repair the damage. Taking it I handed the glass back to Edward and stood. I hadn't noticed how handsome he looked in his black suit. It made him look almost immortal, but I liked the look on him. Immortality never looked so good.

He smiled sadly kissing my hand, "You ready?" I nodded stepping into his arms, "Can't you just take me away from this?"

"I can, but I think you would regret it love." He answered sliding his arms around my waist. I took a deep breath meeting his eyes, "If I forget later, thanks for doing this."

"Anytime angel, anytime."

He released me leading me into the room full of people and the casket I dreaded seeing again. I don't remember much after that, I was crying too hard to concentrate on anything. My father had left me, and it was hard to comprehend. He was supposed to live until I was old right? He was suppose to see his grandkids grow up and see me mature and living a happy life. That was how it was supposed to be, but not how it was.

I vaguely remember Edward laying me on his bed and removing my shoes. I was glad he didn't put me in my room, I didn't want to be alone and the smell of him surrounding me was comforting. I fell asleep, I don't know how long before I awoke in his arms. I wouldn't have gotten up but the need to empty my bladder was now pressing.

I felt his hands move when I slipped out of the bed and into the bathroom. I don't know if he ever used it because it was so clean. Finishing what I needed to I found myself in his closet again. I thought he was sleeping, because his eyes were closed when I passed. Little did I know he never slept.

I removed my dress and looked through his shirts. I realized something, my father's closet used to look much the same. He wasn't quite as neat as Edward, but he did have his t-shirts hanging on one side and then his dress shirts on the other. Not that my dad got dressed up a lot. He kind of mixed them in with his uniforms.

Gripping a t-shirt in my hands I began to cry again, my fragile body falling into a ball on the floor. I didn't hear him come in, and jumped when he touched my hand taking the shirt from me. He didn't seem to even notice I was sitting her in a bra and panties. He simply lifted my arms and slid them easily into the shirt.

I was grateful, not many men would have not at least peeked. He wasn't even looking interested in that, he only looked concerned. I saw that at some point he had changed into a black T-shirt and jeans himself. He lifted me like I weighed as much as a baby and carried me gently to his bed.

I let him cover me and sit beside me silently. I knew he wanted to wait until I was ready to talk and not push me. I reached out stroking his cheek, I did notice he leaned in and inhaled sharply. I guess he liked my perfume. He sighed taking my hand in his and moving it to his lap.

"Are you hungry?"

"No I want to get out of here, out of the bed, out of this house, just away."

He nodded, "Let me get you some jeans and we can head out, I have somewhere we can go." I watched him walk out, my heart still ached but he made the pain so much easier to bear. He was simply too beautiful for words and I don't mean his looks, although they are captivating as well. I mean his attitude during this whole thing, the way he looks at me, and the way he has supported me.

He returned with a pair of pants, socks, and shoes. I didn't move when he removed the covers looking at my pantyhose clad legs with a silent question. I met his eyes when he glanced up and nodded. He shot me a crooked smile and slid his hands to my waist gripping the band of the hose gently.

He pulled them down tossing them aside and slipped on my socks followed by my jeans, which I knew I would have to stand for. I stood finishing the job he started and zipped them. He eased me back and slipped some pink and white checked vans on my feet.

I needed a ponytail holder and he was gone in a flash returning with one and a brush. He smiled sitting behind me and sliding the brush through my long locks. I can't tell you how wonderful it feels to have someone brushing you hair. He followed the brush with his fingers and I couldn't help the little moan that escaped my lips.

I leaned into his chest and he set the brush down locking his hands around my waist. I sighed closing my eyes, why couldn't it be like this forever? He was different and I knew it. I always knew something was different about this family, but he had yet to tell me and I wouldn't press.

His lips touched the delicate skin under my ear. "Sit up love, we should head out." I followed his directions putting my hair up and following him out. He opened the door to his car and before long we were pulling off the road beside a small wooded area. It looked as if someone had been here many times before.

He got out opening my door. I looked around curious, "Where are we going?" He smirked, "Do you trust me?"

"What?"

"Do you trust me?" I nodded unsure. I had no idea why he was asking. He lifted me into his arms, "Close your eyes love." I followed his instructions and felt him moving, the movements were so fluid it felt like we weren't moving at all, except for the fact I could feel my hair blowing.

I was suddenly set on my feet. I looked around at the beautiful meadow, flowers or purple and blue were scattered throughout the green grass. He smiled pulling me, "This is where I sometimes go to escape."

I looked at him oddly, "How did we get here so fast?"

"Was it fast? It seemed like a while to me." He said with a smirk. "I just ran, no big deal. Fortunate for me you don't weigh much."

"But, you aren't even out of breath." I said appraising his features. He shrugged, "I work out a lot. What can I say?"

"Well the truth for one." I replied watching his smirk fade into a frown. He sighed, "You know this is not the time or place to discuss this. When you are feeling better we'll talk."

"So you want me to just accept what is?"

"For now. I just want you to relax and enjoy this beautiful place." I knew there was so much he was hiding behind those caramel eyes. I decided he would tell me when he was ready, and I could at least enjoy this day. He sat down on the grass patting beside him.

I smiled sitting beside him and laying back. "This is beautiful look at the sky." I heard him whisper something then I closed my eyes, the warmth of the now sunny day enveloping me. It was cloudy earlier and it was nice to feel a little sun. I reached over taking his hand in mine, never opening my eyes,

He turned to face me, "Bella, I don't want to scare you." I opened my eyes immediately, what did that mean? I looked at him and gasped seeing the sparkle of his skin. He was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. I should have been scared. I think he was waiting for it, waiting for me to jump and run. I didn't, instead I reached out touching his face and tracing a line to his neck.

"So beautiful." I whispered mesmerized. He closed his eyes to my touch, allowing himself to enjoy the feeling. I snuggled closer, he actually felt warmer than usual. It was probably the sun lingering on his pale skin. I rested my small hand on his chest, "I don't care what you are. It doesn't change how I feel."

"And how is that?" He asked lifting my chin. My brown eyes trailed over his face, he sparkled brighter than any diamond I had ever seen. He was truly beautiful. I smiled touching his lips with mine softly. It was then I really paid attention to his lips. They were smooth as glass, and harder than most people's lips. I didn't care to me he was perfect.

His hands pulled me closer, one resting on the flare of my hip and gripping tightly. I might have a bruise from this one. Was his passion because I accepted him for what he was? At least what I knew about what he was. I knew he wasn't human though what he was remained a mystery, it did explain his alabaster skin and why it felt as smooth as marble.

His lips fell to my neck and any thoughts I was previously thinking were now gone. I could only think of him and this moment. I gripped his hair and pulled him tighter to me only to have him push back against my fingers.

"No, no, no…" he repeated shaking his head. I was puzzled by his reaction, the way his beautiful face looked tortured. If that was what happened when I touched his hair, then I'll remember to leave it alone. Just please don't stop the kissing. His eyes were still closed and I marveled at the way his lids were almost translucent. I leaned over kissing each one softly.

He moaned opening his eyes, they were noticeably darker but he seemed calm. He smiled, "You are so unexpected. I never thought this would happen. I've waited so long for you, for this."

"What do you mean?" I asked with wonder. He stroked my cheek. "For you, for these feelings. Forgive me if I am not what you expect, I've never quite had the opportunity to be so close to a human. I never wanted to and I'm not so sure if I am reacting correctly."

"You're perfect, your reactions are fine." I didn't mention the human reference even though it bothered me. I was dying to know the truth. His glittery face made me wonder what he could possibly be. I had never really thought about it and I had been too upset lately to care.

I decided to test a theory. I mean if I am with him I do need to know a few things right? Besides, it keeps me from thinking about my beloved father and the terrible day I just had. I pushed him over and straddled him again. His eyes widened for a moment then he simply watched me, I noticed his body never really relaxed.

"Does this bother you?" I asked with wonder. He nodded no then spoke, "Not at the moment, I don't like losing control so I'm not quite sure how long I will allow it."

"Allow it?"

"I mean in the right situation this," He gestured to me, "Is fine." I lifted myself and pulled at his shirt. He frowned, "That might be a problem."

"I want to see you sparkle, please. You are so beautiful."

He sighed sitting up enough to remove his shirt. I gasped, it was almost blinding, I have never seen anyone who looked so much like a broken angel that fell to earth. His soul was so tortured and I had no idea why. I think I could fall in love with him.

I found my fingertips trailing over his marble like skin, so silky smooth. He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply. I noticed his fingers gripped into the grass almost violently. It was as if he was fighting with his inner being about something.

"Are you afraid of me?" I asked placing my fingers over his hands. He immediately stopped his movement and opened his eyes. They were almost black. I didn't quite know what to think. He attempted a smile, "I am more concerned about what I could do to you."

"You could hurt me?" I asked wondering about his sad expression. He flipped his hands so they were now holding mine and pulled them above his head causing me to be so close his breath was making me lightheaded.

"I would never mean to. I have to always be on my guard with you, this relationship is not natural for our kind."

"What is your kind?" I asked as my heart beat so hard I was sure he could feel it against his smooth chest. He tilted his head with the most beautiful smiled I have ever seen. Did I mention lately how insanely beautiful he is? He didn't answer me instead choosing to capture my lips with his.

It was sweet and tender., I wanted so much more but he refused to release my hands. I figured it was a temptation thing or a control issue. I don't know which, but it was evident he didn't want me pushing further than what he was willing to offer.

I felt my body respond to him immediately just the touch of his lips sent my mind into orbit. I've never felt anything so intense. I attempted again to pull my hands and this time he released them turning me over so he was on top. My hands immediately went into his hair.

He pulled back with a sensuously evil smile. He looks so good being bad. I think my heart just stopped.

"Temptation can be deadly beautiful."

I sighed, Ok so maybe it can, but please take me now because it can't feel any worse than the knot in my stomach. He seemed to understand and sat up. "I should get dressed." He slipped his shirt on and smiled, "Easier if I don't tempt us anymore, less clothes mean more temptation."

He was so right. What I wouldn't give to see him naked. What on earth was I thinking? I never thought like this, no man has ever made me want to. My thoughts then suddenly went back to my father. He bent his knee and circled his arms around it. "The pain will get less with time love, it never fully goes away but it will get less."

I don't know how he knew what I was thinking. I shouldn't be surprised though, he had an uncanny knack for figuring these things out. I nodded silently and looked around, it was so beautiful here. I wanted a house right in the middle. How fantastic would that be?

"What are you thinking?" He asked watching me intently. I turned to see his face, "Just about how beautiful it is here."

"It is. I love coming here."

"Can I ask you a few things?" I asked moving closer to him. He eyed my body warily as it moved, but made no move to stop me. I was not touching him even as close as we were.

"You can run fast? That is how we got here so soon."

"Yes." He answered simply.

"You glitter, you're almost brighter than the sun." It was obvious as he sat here in front of me, but I mentioned it anyway.

"Yes."

"You're always so cold and I have never seen you eat." He seemed to flinch at that one.

"True."

"That leads me to ask, what do you eat?" He met my eyes then looked off, "I'm a vegetarian."

"I take it that doesn't mean as in vegetables." I attempted to clarify. He looked back at me then, "No it does not. My family is special, we aren't like most."

"Meaning?"

He took my wrist and sniffed it deeply then turned to see my eyes. I noticed how much his eyes changed in that little action. He pulled me so my arm was then across him forcing my face to be close.

"What do you think I mean?" He tilted his head to my neck and ran his tongue over it, "What do you think it takes to sustain me? Why would I be a threat to you?" I shivered involuntarily. His lips touched my ear, "Do you feel the fear that grows inside you just by me being so close? The threat of danger?"

"I feel so many things."

"Do I scare you?" He asked softly. I met his eyes and leaned closer, "No." His eyes fell to my lips and soon he was against me. His hands tangled in my hair holding me tightly. I gripped his shoulders allowing him to lead. Not that I am a frequent kisser or anything but one word. Wow!

I think my saying I wasn't afraid of him flipped a switch, because he was suddenly pulling me onto him. His hands were holding my legs tightly too tightly in fact, and I moaned grabbing them to loosen his hold. He realized what I was trying to do and was out from under me before I could blink. I was laying flat on my butt trying to catch my breath and assimilate what just happened.

He stayed away for a few minutes then returned extending his hand, "I am sorry, I got away from myself. I must learn to be more careful." He lifted me easily and cupped my face in his palms. "Are you ok? Did I hurt you?"

"No, it's fine. Just a little too tight." He glared at me in disbelief and I smiled, "Really I am fine."

He sighed turning, "Want to go for a ride?"

"A ride?"

He chuckled grabbing my arm and slinging me onto his back. My eyes widened as he ran like lightening through the woods, what was he? More importantly what was this between us?