Chapter three:

Merely a stand in

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I didn't intend to blame Sasuke for Sakura's death nor did I intend to blame Sakura. It was fate, was all. Nobody could stop it…not even Sakura herself. She didn't know it was going to rain, she didn't know that the rain and wind would make things hard to see, she didn't know that the roads were going to be deadly slippery. She didn't know and neither did Sasuke so there was no one to blame.

If I had been younger and more flamboyant I would've blamed Sasuke. In fact he would have been my first choice. Not only because he treated the woman had he pledged his love to like she was just another wench but because it seemed as if he didn't care. But I wasn't younger and in a way I felt almost responsible. She had told me that she wanted me to have custody of her children. And yet she also said that Sasuke was very protective. In a trial of custody he was sure to have the upper hand because he was the rightful father of every single child. It was him and against me. And I was certain I knew who was going to lose.

I wasn't in any place to take care of any kids anyway. I'm sure I couldn't keep myself from crying every time I looked at one of them. It was just too painful.

Sakura's funeral had been arranged by one of her other close friends. Ino Yamanaka was her name. I remembered her vaguely from high school; she had been the party girl who always wanted to have fun. Before Sakura became my friend she intimidated me. As the years went by and Sakura started to talk with her more I got to know her better and my intimidation faded away. For some reason she didn't attend Sakura's wedding and I never really stayed in contact with her after that.

Like Sasuke, she had a knack for being in charge and knowing exactly what to do. The funeral was so decorative and organized but that didn't keep the tears away. Tears had already started to drip down my face onto the Sakura petals that were in my lap even before the funeral had started.

I sat by myself in the back and I kept my head down so no one would notice my earliness of tears. I hadn't noticed that someone had taken a seat beside me until a woman, perhaps a close relative of Sakura, had stood up and announced with grief and sadness that the funeral would begin and that she would say a few words.

A tissue had been planted on my lap and when I finally opened my eyed I noticed it. Absentmindedly I grabbed it had wiped my face with it. Looking up I turned and found Naruto staring at me with a grim look on his face.

The first tissue had been used in vain because tears instantly returned. Naruto handed me a second tissue and I took it.

"Thank you." I whispered. He didn't reply and I was hoping that he wouldn't. I didn't want to talk to anyone. I started to pay attention after that. The woman had been talking about how Sakura had been her one and only daughter. The one who always smiled and deserved every single good thing that came to her. So this was her mother…how could I not have remembered something as important as that?

"She was like no other and there is absolutely no one who could replace Sakura."

Throughout the whole wedding comments like that were made. And every single time I couldn't help but wonder if I was the only person who knew that Sakura had cried for hours on end and wished she could redo her whole life? Was I the only person, beside her and Sasuke, who knew? Did she not tell anyone else? Well Naruto had to know…he had predicted it five years earlier.

When the time came for everyone to sprinkle the Sakura petals they were supplied with on Sakura, I didn't move. I stayed there in the back, motionless. I couldn't face her. I couldn't bear the serene look that she had been applied with.

Many tears had been shed at her funeral and I knew they would not be the last that I would cry.

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"Thank you," I said to Naruto with a melancholy attitude as the church was slowly being emptied. "For not saying I told you so." Instead of thanking him I should have apologized for not listening.

Naruto said nothing as he sat down beside me. I hadn't noticed that the Sakura petals that were supposed to be sprinkled over Sakura's body had been crushed in the palm of his hand. They were crushed and I could smell the faint scent. It only reminded me more of Sakura for that was her signature fragrance.

We didn't exchange words. We respectfully left each other with our own thoughts; let each other gravel in our own imperceptive mistakes. And, now, that was all we really could do. Or at least, from my point of view, that was all I could do.

"I tried telling her but she only tilted her head to one side, grinned, and told me she knew what she was doing." Naruto said suddenly with solemnity. Lifting my head up, I looked at him. I didn't know what to say. What could I say?

"I should have listened to you, Naruto…I'm…sorry." Tears started to leak again. It was as if I had a faucet of my own and that it was doomed to forever stay on. I didn't try to stop them though. I'd learned that it hurts even more if you reject tears.

Naruto didn't reply to my apology. I can understand why because I wouldn't have replied back either.

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It had been only a day after Sakura's funeral that I got a phone call from her husband. At first, I debated with myself whether I should answer or not. What would he want with me? Never, had he before, shown any interest in befriending me so why now? I was in stage one of 'becoming an emotional wreck'. He would have no need for me…or at least that was what I had thought.

If I had ever intended on asking for the kids, which most likely I wouldn't have, he beat me to the punch. Honestly, I wanted to say no. How could I take care of three kids when, at the time, I could hardly take care of myself? But Sakura's serious request came to thought and I agreed with Sasuke. It was the least I could do for her.

The reason that he asked me in the first place was because that he didn't have the time to watch after them himself and that he thought it would be easier for the kids if they interacted with a person they were more familiar with. I just happened to fit the description.

"We need to discuss the conditions and requirements of our agreement. I don't have time now but tomorrow will do. Four is the best hour for me." Sasuke told me. It sounded as if her were doing something else while talking to me.

"That's fine." I said. As I'd expected he hung up on me. One thing I noticed was that he never said goodbye. Or at least I had never heard him say it. Perhaps it had become a habit since he rarely showed emotion to the people he wasn't around all the time. Sakura told me the only time his temper flared to boiling point in public was when Itachi criticized him in some area. She also said that was the day she learned a very important big tip: never upset Sasuke.

I set the phone down and sighed. I hadn't exactly planned on becoming a second mom. In a way it was like I was taking Sakura's job and in turn I felt even a bit guilty. Thinking about it more diligently, I questioned whether I should really take the position or not. I had told Sakura I would but…should I?

Besides, I could never actually take her place. Like so many people expressed at her funeral she was one of a kind and nobody could take her place. What would they think of me if I just suddenly decided to become her replacement? Would they look at me with disgust or misunderstand my intentions?

No, I wouldn't become a second mom because I hadn't even experienced the pain of birth…I hadn't even had any of my own. I would become merely a stand in. Just a stand in…was what I would be. There was nothing matronly about me so being a stand in would be just fine.

That's what I would tell him. I would just be a stand in.

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"Do you have a college degree?" That was the first thing he asked me when I had been invited into his study the next day exactly at four. I wasn't sure what he was getting at and at the moment I didn't really care. I was tired and wanted to go back home. I figured the meeting would take only a short while but I suddenly had the feeling that I was reluctantly going to be pushed into a detailed conversation of who exactly I was.

I nodded. "Yes, I do."

He studied me through his linked hands. "I've come to understand that you were right under Sakura in the academic field. She told me that what you majored in, you were the valedictorian of that class." Despite his words, he didn't seem impressed.

I nodded once again and moved in my seat, "I majored in computer programming and website design."

This seemed to quirk his interest. "Oh, really? Is that what you do now?"

"In a way…it's like a part time job. I designed my father's websites and a few of his business consultants…but I'm not designing all the time." Why did it feel as if I were being interviewed for an internship instead of having a small chat with my best friend's husband?

"I'm assuming you get paid?"

I shook my head. "No, I do it for free."

Sasuke nodded but said nothing more about it. After that, unlike I had expected, he, in a quick but informative manner, explained the requirements and rules you could say. And just when I thought I could tale my leave he flung a blunt statement into my face and for a moment I didn't know how to answer.

"I'd prefer it if you moved into the house." It was said simply and frankly and he didn't look as if he were joking. "Simply because it would be easier for me to contact you and easier on the children, which is the main reason I asked you to oversee them in the first place."

He made a good point but I didn't let him know that. In fact, I didn't let him know anything because I had frozen in my steps. Perhaps it was the thought of living where Sakura used to reside or the thought of what everybody would think that made me uneasily stammer.

"U-um…well…I'm not exactly…sure—"

Sasuke stopped me. "Don't do that. It's not interesting to listen to at all. I'll give you three days to think things over." He assumed that I was somewhat unsure and shamefully I was. I wanted to do what was right for Sakura but was I really equipped for everything that come along with it?

Was I even suited for the job? Was being a stand in even too much for me?

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Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed!