Previously...
I turned to look into his eyes, sure of one thing for once in my young life. "I don't you to stop, please Edward. " I grabbed his hair and pulled his lips to mine begging him with my body not to stop. He molded to me easing me back onto the soft bed beside us. His lips trailed down my neck I felt them stop at my shirt again, probably unsure. I gripped his arm arching up into him, "Please don't stop." I begged breathlessly.
I heard a growl and I felt my shirt rip. I sure hope he has a spare around here some where. I felt his cool lips on my stomach and I closed my eyes knowing tonight would be forever engraved in my memory as the first night of us together.
I awoke to the warm sun on my face but it didn't bother me. I just snuggled closer to the coolness beside me. It felt good and I sighed contently. I wasn't awake enough to be aware yet of where I was. I only knew wherever it was I wanted to stay there.
I felt a cool hand stroke my cheek and moaned moving closer to the wonderful object. I heard him chuckle and my eyes fluttered open. There he was, my angel laying under me watching me sleep. He kissed my head.
"Morning beautiful."
I smiled stretching. I realized I was actually a little sore and frowned and as I suspected he caught it.
"Are you ok?" He asked as he turned me to my back.
I nodded.
"Yes, just a little sore." I said in a whisper. He bit his lip nodding. I know he knew as well as I that was to be expected and in this case probably more so. He had been nothing but gentle with me but when you think about it even that was probably rough for a human.
It felt wonderful to me everything he did was perfect. I can't think of any way that he hurt me. In fact he was too gentle and several times I had to encourage him to be a little rougher. He didn't want to take a chance on hurting me. My sweet love is a very romantic man at heart.
He ran his hands over my skin looking for any signs of injury. I lifted his chin.
"Edward, relax. I am fine."
He smiled and kissed me lightly. I guess he too was happy with the fact we had taken the step we had and I hadn't gotten hurt. It was a very successful step for us which meant he was stronger than he thought. He brushed my hair back and looked deep into my eyes.
"You're going to think I'm crazy, but I know what I want. Keep in mind I come from a different time and things have changed a lot from when I grew up."
I looked at him strangely.
"Marry me Bella."
He was right, I did think he was nuts. I also understood, he came from a time where they got engaged quickly and where they didn't have sex before marriage. He had kind of bought the carriage before the horse so to speak. He was letting his heart guide him and I knew what that was like because I was too.
I was young, but in his time we were old in the game. I smiled touching his cheek.
"I would prefer not to rush but I will agree to marry you." I answered feeling him pulling me close. He kissed me deeply and I could feel his happiness seep into me. I knew this was the right thing to do, I knew we were meant to be. It felt right. You can't fight fate.
When you find the one you just know. It took me a while to realize it, but when I did it hit me from all sides. Clever little cupid, he released my lips with a moan and was quickly over me.
"We should get back to the house. I am sure you are hungry."
I had noticed I was starting to get that way. He kissed my nose and slipped out of the bed. I couldn't help but watch him dress. He was such a beautiful specimen how could I resist? When he felt my eyes he turned and smiled.
"I seem to have torn your shirt last night in my haste. You'll have to wear mine."
"Won't the others question?" I asked slipping it on.
He smiled.
"We'll slip in my window and change."
I finished dressing as he disposed of my torn shirt and held out his hand to me. I followed him out and we walked hand in hand through the woods. It was so beautiful. I don't know if it was the love, the fact I had I just lost my virginity or maybe all of it but everything looked so different.
He lifted me in his strong arms.
"I love you Bella."
I didn't have time to reply before he kissed me quickly and slipped me onto his back. We were home in record time and he had me in his bedroom window and in my room to change before I could speak. I took a shower and changed and stood brushing my hair before I realized Alice was sitting on my bed.
I turned startled. She smiled at me.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."
I walked in sitting beside her. She took my hand in hers and smiled again.
"So how do you feel?"
I knew she knew what happened or she wouldn't have asked. I shrugged and blushed. She giggled.
"It's wonderful isn't it?"
I nodded.
"Alice, I love him."
"I know you do." She said crossing her legs. She put her hand on my cheek and bit her lip.
"Bella, do you want to be one of us?"
I thought about it a moment then shook my head. I mean to be with Edward forever, yes I did. I loved him and I didn't want to grow old and leave him. I never wanted to leave him.
"Yes, I do." I answered.
She smiled.
"Well then, it's nothing."
"What is nothing?" I said as she stood.
She sighed suddenly seeming distant.
"I just... Edward he..." She didn't know what to say and I could tell she didn't want to tell me.
"Alice tell me, please."
I mean after all if something is going to happen I have the right to know.
She turned and sat back down.
"Edward will kill me for telling you, he doesn't even know. I've been blocking him."
She seemed to struggle for a moment then continued.
"I had a vision and I saw you. You were talking in the woods. You had fallen and scraped your hand. Edward struggled but he handled his bloodlust."
"So what is the problem?" I didn't understand.
"I saw two possible outcomes, in one you asked him to take you." She looked down then back into my eyes. "And he did."
"Take me?" I asked not getting her meaning.
She leaned closer.
"To make you one of us."
I could see that. I mean I did want to be one of them at some point and the possibility is certainly there that I might be tempted to do something like that. I didn't know what to say after that. I was quiet. She looked nervous now.
"Are you ok?"
"Am I....am I happy?"
She giggled.
"Yes, you are happy. You make quite a beautiful vampire."
I smiled thinking of it. She looked towards the door and stood.
"Edward is coming, we'll talk more later."
She slipped out and Edward walked in closing the door. He had showered as well and changed into a dark navy button up and black jeans. He looked stunning. It showed off his alabaster skin.
He sat beside me with a smile.
"So, we should feed you love."
I nodded. He looked at me with concern.
"Are you ok? You seem worried."
I stood offering my hand.
"I'm fine, I was just wondering if the whole house knows we slept together last night."
He chuckled.
"I'd say it's a safe bet."
I sighed blushing.
"Wonderful."
He took my head pressing a kiss to my temple and led me downstairs. Esme was in the kitchen and she turned when she saw me. She smiled sweetly.
"Good morning Bella, are you hungry?"
I smiled sitting at the bar.
"I am actually." I felt Edwards hand on the back of my chair.
"What would you like? I can make you something"
She was always so nice, I loved this family. I actually didn't want to be a problem. Edward leaned down into my ear.
"Someone told me you liked oatmeal with brown sugar and milk."
I giggled, he knows me too well to have known me for such a short time.
"I do."
She grinned clasping her hands together.
"Oatmeal it is."
Jen had called to check on me so many times, I decided I needed to go into town and spend at least a little time with her. I hated to leave Edward but if what Alice said was true then it's probably best that I do it now.
She had a new boyfriend and told me all about him. I was happy for her she seemed to be doing well. She sat on the end of her bed and looked at me worried.
"How are you really Bella?"
"I'm better, each day it gets better. I have off days but with time it gets easier. I think having Edward and his family helps."
I knew it was coming because she had never asked me before and it was ok. Jen was a sweet girl and she never has done anything wrong to me. She tapped her finger nervously on her shoe.
"Bella, the rumor at school is that you and Cullen are a thing."
"Really? What do you think?" I asked watching her expression.
She shrugged.
"I don't know. I don't feed the gossip. I'm not going to say one way or the other because you haven't told me yes or no. I think they are just saying it because of the way he reacted at school that day. He was really protective of you. It was kind of sweet. It's not like he isn't a catch or anything." She teased.
I laughed running my fingers through my hair.
"I suppose not."
She smiled at me then sat on the floor next to me.
"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to. Bella it's fine. I just wondered like everyone else."
I looked at her a moment then bit my lip in thought. It wasn't like she wasn't my friend. I had known her forever, and it wasn't like I was telling her what he was. I was only telling her that we were an item there is a distinct difference.
"Edward and I, we are dating."
She squealed with delight and grabbed my arm hopping in place.
"Bella, you are so lucky. He is so cute."
I nodded blushing in agreement.
"He is cute, but listen I'd prefer if not everyone knows our business. It's still new and I..."
I was stopped by loud honking.
"What is that?"
Jen got up looking out her window.
"That's Clay, come on and meet him. He is so sweet." She grabbed my hand and drug me from up stairs. As she opened the front door I gasped moving back as he practically pummeled her with kisses. She giggled throwing herself into his arms.
I was glad she had found someone he seemed to like her... a lot. He released her and smiled extending his hand.
"You must be the famous Bella my Jen talks about, I'm Clay."
I shook his hand, "Pleasure."
He took her hand.
"A few of the peeps are coming over practice was canceled the coach wasn't feeling well, food poison or something...who knows."
I noticed he had a football jersey on and frowned. A house full of football players, totally not where I wanted to be, it's like a house full of Emmett's.
Jen shook her head.
"Clay, no I told Bella we could spend time together. Can't you call them and cancel?"
He pouted but slipped his phone out. I knew it was already too late because her doorbell rang. She mouthed sorry to me and opened it. Several large guys and girls I recognized from school walked in. They were polite but I didn't really speak to them. I didn't realize as I toyed nervously with the phone in my pocket I had actually called Edward and not said anything.
Jen pulled me in the kitchen.
"I'm sorry."
I shook my head trying to calm my nerves.
"It's ok. We can do it again, I promise."
She hugged me and I knew she felt terrible. Clay leaned in the kitchen.
"Bella? Someone is here for you."
I looked at Jen confused until Clay moved and Edward walked into the kitchen cupping my face between his palms.
"Are you ok?" He asked panicked.
I nodded.
He kissed my forehead softly.
"When you called and didn't speak I got so worried, I rushed right over. Unfortunately Rose was changing the oil in the Volvo so I had to use the Vanquish." I could hear the living room was quiet and knew that all eyes were on us.
"I called you?" I questioned.
I took the phone from my pocket and looked at the last number. I realized I must have called him when I was nervously messing with it.
"I'm sorry Edward...I was nervous and I...."
Jen sighed.
"It's my fault. I didn't know my boyfriend was coming over and bringing his friends so it kind of ruined our plans together."
Edward smiled gently at her and stroked my cheek.
"You want to go home?"
I looked from Jen to him. Jen smiled sadly.
"You go ahead, like you said we can do this again later."
I met his eyes and nodded I know he could feel my nervousness, probably the beating of my heart because he rested his face next to mine and held me close rocking me slowly and whispered.
"Slow, deep breaths my love."
I focused on his breathing and soon my heart began to slow. He stroked my hair softly and whispered, "Let's get you home."
His lips touched mine softly and he smiled taking my hand. Well, so much for the not telling anyone because everyone in this room just found out. Jen waved as he led me out. I know he was not oblivious to the guys racing to the window to check out his car.
I felt his hand on my leg as soon as we got in the car.
"Are you ok?" He asked.
"Yes, I just wasn't expecting that. Can you pull over?"
He looked at me oddly and pulled over on a side road. I got out catching my breath. I never was one for anxiety attacks but since my father's death my tolerance had been low. I just wanted out of the car, away from anyone or anything.
Looking into the vastness of the nearby woods I started forward. I heard his door shut.
"Bella?"
I knew he would try to stop me so I ran, it wasn't like he couldn't catch me but I knew it would take him a moment to figure out what I was doing. It was only seconds before his steel arms were around me.
"No Bella, breathe." He pleaded
"Let me go."
"Bella, slowly in and out with me." He said softer now.
I struggled kicking.
"I can't, I can't let me go. I can't." I cried.
"Bella, listen to me. You can't let this take over you breathe with me." He demanded now.
I don't know why it was so hard for me to calm down but it was. It was almost like his words just bounce off of me. My heart was racing and my adrenaline pumped through my veins. He was having a hard time keeping me steady.
I heard other voices but I couldn't focus. He turned me to face him.
"Bella look at me."
"Let me go, please. I can't breathe." I gasped.
"Carlisle, I can't get her to calm down, I've tried." Edward said looking around me. I felt someone's hands around my waist and started to kick again only to have my legs restrained.
"Easy there." I knew it was Emmett.
"Sorry Bella." Alice said and I felt my jeans pulled down a little in the back.
I felt the cool of the alcohol swab before Carlisle spoke.
"Bella I'm going to give you a shot, it's going to sting but it will help."
"No, no I don't like needles." I pleaded. Edward kissed my hair as I cried burying my face in his neck.
I felt the stick and cried harder, when he was finished I felt Alice refasten my pants and Emmett release my legs. Edward stroked my back and held me close.
"I'm sorry Bella. I'm so sorry."
I shook uncontrollably and he lifted me in his arms.
"I'll run her home. Emmett can you bring the car?" I guess he agreed because soon I was lying in his warm bed against him. He was stroking my back lovingly as I whimpered. Carlisle came in sitting beside us.
"How is she?" He asked brushing my hair back.
Edward looked down at me then back up.
"She's sedated."
Carlisle sighed and looked down.
"Edward, I don't know if it wouldn't be beneficial for her to have therapy. What she has been through is very traumatic. There was no way to know she would have this reaction to a crowd and after they way they treated her at school I can't blame her. She is very delicate."
Edward kissed my head.
"She just needs time it's still early and she hasn't adjusted."
"Son, do you have any idea the enormity of the situation? Her father died. Her partner is a vampire and she just lost her virginity to you. This girl has had drastic life changes in a very short period of time. Her mind is reeling and she is trying to adjust the best way she knows how. It's a lot for a human heart to take."
"What if she wasn't human?"
Carlisle looked stunned. He didn't think Edward would turn her so soon or even think of it.
"What are you suggesting?"
"Just, that maybe at some point she might want to be like us."
Carlisle raised an eyebrow and nodded.
"I thought that might be something you discussed. What is it you want to know?"
"If I change her, will it make this worse?" He looked down at me stroking my pale cheek.
Carlisle watched us and shook his head.
"How is one to know Edward, it's never been challenged. I've always changed people on their death bed. You are talking a different beast. I don't know what she would bring with her. Would she be stronger yes, usually we bring our strongest human traits. I don't know about this type of thing. It could be left behind, it could make her the worst kind of demon what do you want me to say? I can't give you an answer. I wish I could."
I could hear the conversation and I could see them, but it was like I was looking through a glass. It was blurry and unclear. I couldn't really focus on any particular thing. My body was so heavy I couldn't move. Carlisle stood and kissed Edward's head.
"It will work out son, have faith."
He was such a wonderful father. He really did care for Edward and all of his so called adopted children just as a father might. He left the room and I found the strength to move my arm. Edward looked down.
"Bella?"
"Bathroom?" I managed.
He nodded and helped me up. I quickly fell back. He bit his lip.
"I don't think....I think I'm going to take your jeans off. It will be easier because you won't be able to ok?"
I didn't argue. I really don't care. He removed them and lifted me to the bathroom. He set my hand on the sink.
"Can you do this Bella?"
I looked back.
"Yes."
"Bella." He lifted my chin. "I can help if you need me to."
I shook my head no and he nodded walking out. I don't know how because I felt like a lead balloon but I managed to get my panties down and potty without breaking anything. I even got them back up. I was washing my hands when he came back in. Good think to because he caught me as I was stumbling back.
He kissed my neck.
"Let me help you." He slipped his hands over mine and washed his hands with mine. It's funny, my body felt heavy but it was like I could feel every sensation tenfold. It was amazing watching him...feeling him washing his hands with mine, the slippery soap sliding between our fingers. I know he heard my heart speed up because I felt him lean closer listening.
He dropped the soap and rinsed our hands gently. I moaned when he turned me leaning me against the counter as he dried them off. His eyes met mine and he set the towel down resting his hands on the counter beside me.
"Bella."
I reached up gripping his shirt and pulling him closer glad the sink was behind me so I wasn't wobbly. He inhaled deeply.
"Bella, we should get you back in bed." He started again.
I closed my eyes remembering our first time and smiled.
"It's like riding a roller coaster." I said suddenly. I opened my eyes to see him frowning.
"What is?" He seemed confused.
I tapped his chest lightly and smiled.
"Making love to you, you get on the ride nervous because you don't know what to expect. The ride progresses and you start to get butterflies because it starts to get a little more exciting and your heart is speeding up."
He stroked my cheek tenderly, his eyes holding interest.
"Is that so?"
"Yes, and it get's faster as the ride goes higher. Your body starts to sweat and the adrenaline kicks in and your breathing speeds up." I added resting my face in his palm. I could hear his breathing pick up.
He moved closer, his lips almost against mine. I knew he liked where this was going.
"Then what happens." He questioned.
I smiled.
"Then you finally hit the biggest curve, and your heartbeat races faster than ever, your breathing is so fast your panting and suddenly you feel like you've been dropped off a cliff and you are soaring. "
"Do you like to soar Bella?" His voice was husky and held a slight edge now he lifted me up to sit on the corner of the sink and pulled me against him. I met his eyes.
"It's an amazing feeling when I am soaring with you." I answered honestly. He leaned down kissing me gently and my fingers found their way to his hair. I missed those lips. He made a noise and in my current state I am not sure if it was a moan or a growl, maybe a little of both before he pulled back.
"Bella, you should be resting. I shouldn't be doing this right now."
"What if this is what I need?" I asked simply. He seemed to take in what I said. I moved my fingers from his hair to cup his face.
"I need to feel close to you Edward. I need you... the things you make me feel. I need to feel them, all of them. Please." I begged with pleading eyes.
"I can't deny you when you beg." He whispered softly, so softly I almost missed it.
"Then don't." I said back.
He was still a moment then leaned back. I thought he was leaving me until he reached down to grab the hem of his shirt and pulled it over his head. Let me just thank him now for those wonderfully amazing abs.
I reached out running my fingernails over them and he hissed closing his eyes. He is so beautiful. I can't imagine any man being more perfect. He opened his eyes and held my hands still.
"Let's go back to bed love."
I wrapped my arms around his neck as he lifted me in his strong arms and carried me to the bed. I knew the pleasure that waited for me there, I knew the look he held in his eyes and the promise of passion to come. I didn't have to wait he didn't make me because as soon as I was on the bed his lips were on mine.