Previously...
It was night and we were alone when my heart finally ceased its beating. I could hear his breathing stop. He didn't move for fear of frightening me I suppose. My eyes opened and I noticed things I have never seen before, like how even in the dark I could now see perfectly.
I could feel him beside me and I knew he was there, every part of him and I knew he was uncertain. I turned my head slowly and looked at his face. He was even more beautiful than I remember his perfectly flawless skin that as a human I could never fully appreciate.
I reached up and stroked it then smiled softly rolling to where I was against him. I felt his hand hesitantly rest on my hip.
"I love you." I whispered before my lips met his.
It was like I had never really kissed him before. I could feel his lips so much deeper as if they were sinking into me, touching me in ways they never did before. I felt tingles in my toes. His fingers that were once hesitant now gripped harder as he slid them up my side and buried them into my hair.
I moved my hands to his chest and noticed he was no longer cold but warm and soft. I took advantage of this and explored him, slipping my hands under his shirt to feel the skin beneath. It felt so different under my fingertips. It was so soft and pliable nothing like the marble it had felt like before.
He moaned deeply releasing my lips.
"Bella." He whispered holding me close.
I knew I was probably driving him crazy with my roaming but it was so odd to feel him in this way. The different sensations I felt when I touched him and the way he felt to me. He gently stroked my cheek and I felt him staring at my face. I looked up meeting his eyes.
"You are so beautiful." He said kissing me again. I smiled stroking his cheek with a sigh he caressed my throat.
"Does your throat burn?"
I hadn't really noticed but yeah it kind of did. I touched my throat and looked back at him.
"A little, it feels kind of like a scratchy sore throat."
He smiled, "You need to feed it will only get worse."
I took a minute to let my mind wrap around that. So this was what I was now and I had to feed like they did. I inhaled an unnecessary breath and curled into him. I just wanted to stay with him for a while. I had dreamed of being in his arms like this for so long.
He held me close not saying anything as if he knew exactly what I needed. I guess in a way he needed the same thing. This was new to both of us and we would have to learn together. He was the only other member of the family besides Carlisle to ever change anyone. It had to be extremely hard for him. I can only imagine the strength it took for him to pull away.
I looked into his eyes.
"Was it hard? I mean to resist killing me?" I knew the answer but I wanted to hear him say it just the same. He smiled softly and pulled me closer if that was possible.
"It was the hardest thing I have ever done, but it was also the easiest. I closed my eyes and pictured my life without you and I couldn't and I knew then I could let go. I couldn't live without you Bella I would be so lost."
It was the sweetest thing any man has ever said to me. I knew exactly what he meant by his statement because I felt the same way. It was hardly fair. He stroked under my eyes with his thumbs.
"You must eat Bella I can tell you are hungry."
I can't argue with him. I am starting to get that way. I took his hand and allowed him to lead me to the window. He looked down with a smile.
"Ready to test those reflexes?"
"I'll probably break my leg." I said wearily as I looked down.
He laughed lifting my chin, "I doubt that, you don't know how strong and lithe you are. Allow your reflexes to take over and just go with it."
I sighed and decided why not, I was one of them now right? Hand in hand we jumped out his window. I was amazed when I landed effortlessly on my feet.
I smiled spinning. It was wonderful to feel this light on my feet. His hands slid around my waist from behind.
"Care to play catch me now little one?" He teased.
I giggled pulling away and taking off. I couldn't believe how fast my new legs carried me. It was all so beautiful, the wind wiping in my hair, the sounds of every little thing in the woods. I heard a heartbeat and my feat screeched to a halt. I could actually hear a heartbeat, is that what he heard when he was around me?
"It's a deer."
I heard him whisper from behind. I felt his hand rest on mine.
"Close your eyes Bella smell him and tell me where he is."
I did as he suggested and my head tilted to the right.
"He's there, but he is not alone. I hear more."
I felt his lips on my neck.
"Good, now you must take him down Bella. You must be gentle with him make it quick so he doesn't suffer can you do that?"
I wasn't sure I could. I felt myself tense as the smell enveloped me. He ran his hands down my arms.
"Would you like me to show you?"
I nodded and he moved away with a smile tugging my hand. I watched as he found another deer and took him down. It was so fast had I been human I don't know if I would have been able to see it all. He was so beautiful and graceful. He was quick and he made sure the animal didn't suffer needlessly. I think I could do that. I forget the strength I have now in my own two hands.
As he fed I walked away finding my deer and deciding it was now or never. I found my prey and pounced it was easier than I thought and although it took me a moment to get the hang of it my instinct kicked in almost immediately. I finished looking up and he was standing there. I couldn't decipher the look on his face.
"Are you ok?" I asked then.
He extended his hand.
"I just...it's hard to see you like this. I'm used to protecting you." I smiled.
So he liked to be my protector. I jumped on his waist.
"If it makes you feel any better you can still protect me."
He laughed.
"Really? From what?"
"Hummm..." I thought about it.
"Well lots of things like really annoying guys. I don't like being hit on you know." He grumbled and I smiled.
"What was that?" I asked.
He met my eyes.
"I said you are taken." He replied back.
I kissed him.
"I am? How nice. Is he cute? You know the guy I'm taken by?"
He pushed me back against a tree raising my hands above my head.
"I suppose you might think so."
I groaned feeling the electricity begin running through me as he pressed into me. It was the first time he had really let his full strength loose on me.
"I think I do." I managed to get out as his lips started to caress my neck. His hands moved down to my sides but as mine descended he shook his head.
"No, keep them there."
I pouted but did as he asked after all he usually has a reason. If I do what he says it will probably benefit us both in the end. My breathing became erratic as he kissed my neck roughly. I think I like this more aggressive side of Edward. I know he could never show it to me before and it's nice it is finally coming out.
"Bella." He groaned. "There is so much I want to show you."
"I have all the time in the world." I told him.
He smiled kissing my nose.
"I'm sorry I don't mean to be rough. I just feel overwhelmed with emotion and it's hard to control."
I moved my lips closer to his.
"So stop controlling it Edward, I won't break and I don't mind if you let lose once in a while." I actually was excited to see this side of him. Edward losing control would be a sight to behold. He gripped me harder.
"Bella, I don't want to scare you."
"Show me the animal Edward. You've kept him locked away too long and he wants to get out. How can you be whole inside if you keep part of yourself locked away? I want to see all of you. I'm not going to run away from you. I can take it."
His eyes grew dark and I knew he was fighting internally with himself. In reality he was always calm and subdued. He needed to release some kind of pent up energy and relax. He was always so uptight and worried and if this was how he needed to do it then hey, I'm game.
I could see he was not going to break and so I decided it was time to break him. I sighed, come on Bella you can do this. I don't know how smart it is but you can do this.
I pulled my arms down ripping his shirt open. He glanced down and back up to me shocked.
"Opps." I said teasingly. I could see the fire getting hotter in his eyes. I smirked pushing him back hard enough for him to stumble.
"I'm sorry Edward, are you having trouble keeping your balance?"
I walked passed him and leaned on another tree that was bathed in moonlight. I knew it would illuminate my skin. I turned to him running my fingers up and down my chest in a seductive way watching his eyes as they followed.
"You know Edward the moon is full tonight. Did you notice?"
He moved closer.
"I did." He replied softly.
I smiled looking off.
"I used to dream about making love under a full moon. I know it's stupid teenager stuff but it was a fantasy of mine. I never dared to dream there were vampires who would have thought."
He leaned down in front of me. I turned to see him his face was so handsome.
"Now you are a vampire." He said huskily.
I nodded.
"Now I am and I have fallen in love with the most beautiful vampire in the world."
He smiled stroking my cheek. ..
"I could argue that point but I won't." I reached up running my hand down his exposed chest. I still couldn't believe how soft it felt.
"When you were young what were you going to be?" I asked curious. He pulled me close.
"I was going to be a music teacher. I always enjoyed music and playing the piano even then."
I wondered why he had never pursued that in this life, but perhaps it was a tie to his old life he didn't want to relive. I slid my hands under his shirt and onto his smooth back.
"I love you."
"Bella...you're killing me here." He groaned squeezing me tightly. I giggled kissing his neck.
"Really? Does it hurt?" Show me where it hurts baby."
His eye closed and I heard him inhale deeply.
"You may regret asking me to let loose Bella, I've never done so. I don't know what might happen."
"It's ok. I'll be here to restrain you if you get too naughty." I reminded him. I knew deep down even unrestrained if I said the word he would stop. He might not think he would but I know different. He's proved it time and time again. He growled lifting my legs around his slim waist and kissing me deeply.
I love seeing the animal in him. It is so beautiful, I realize vampires are by nature supposed to be evil creatures but how can something so beautiful be truly evil? There has to be something of a compromise somewhere. The Cullen's had changed their way of life. Still there had to be more to it.
When we returned to the house he held me until daybreak. I have to say I miss sleeping. I didn't realize how boring it can be when you have nothing but time on your hands because you can't sleep. You literally find things to do. I can see why he read so much. You can't help but be well educated. There's only so many things to do and you do have nothing but time.
I felt his hand running up my arm.
"Everything ok?" He asked kissing my shoulder.
"Yes, I was just thinking about how you don't go stir crazy with all of this time."
He chuckled.
"You adjust, find things that interest you and do them. It's not so bad. The hardest part is being lonely." I can't say that I am anymore."
I used to be but then I met Edward and like he said I'm not anymore. I think back to how we met and it's funny how it all seems so mundane now. In a small amount of time my entire life has changed. I felt his lips on my neck and shivered. I knew the family would want to see me this morning they had given us alone time on purpose.
I turned to see him the immerging sun causing his skin to glimmer in the most brilliant colors. I suppose I looked the same to him but he still took my breath away. I ran my hand down his perfect chest and sighed.
"You are so beautiful."
I said as he shimmered and I watched with fascination. It took me a moment to realize he was watching me too. He lifted me above him and ran his hands down my sides.
"You Bella are beautiful."
I looked down at how my new body now shimmered like his. It was such an amazing sight, so beautiful...if I saw an angel this is what I would imagine them to look like. Then again, Edward has long been my angel.
He smiled at me reaching up to stroke my cheek.
"I've never seen anyone more beautiful." He whispered softly.
His words are always so endearing because I know they come from his heart. It's funny because I've never really been comfortable in my own skin. Yet, here I sit on my love naked as the day I was born and I am perfectly comfortable. I feel beautiful in my new skin, sexy and strong. I've never felt more alive or happy.
I looked down as he ran his finger down the center of my chest making a path to my belly button. I was mesmerized by his touch. He looked back into my eyes and smiled.
"We should get dressed the family is waiting."
I laid my head on his chest and curled into him.
"I'd rather be with you."
He laughed and kissed my head.
"You will be, I promise. We have all our lives but we must let my family see you. Alice is very anxious you know."
I leaned up with a pout and was greeted with the most wonderful kiss I could have imagined. Now was he thinking that was going to make me want to get up and leave? I felt him lift me from the bed and set me on the floor as his lips released mine.
"Get dressed love." He said as he winked and disappeared into the closet.
I dressed and found him waiting on the bed. He took my hand and led me down the stairs. I was immediately greeted by a huge bear hug from Emmett, when I finally got him to release me I got to see the family with my new eyes, and they were all so much more beautiful than I had ever imagined.
They told me tons of history and I listened for hours. Carlisle and Edward were talking about something in his office when I slipped outside for some air. I didn't notice I had been followed until I sniffed and realized I could tell their scents.
"Jasper." I said softly.
He leaned beside me on the porch railing.
"What's bothering you?" He asked curious. I smiled slightly looking out at the night that was slipping upon us.
"I don't know really. I can't explain."
I turned to him and looked over his face and neck. It was the first time I could really see his scars. He would be really intimidating if you didn't know him. Wow. I had reached out to touch them before I thought. I was curious if they were smooth or if you could feel them.
He didn't say anything when I ran my finger over his neck he simply watched my expression then looked back out at the night. I realized I was rude and didn't ask him and may have made him uncomfortable. I bit my lip.
"Jasper, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to just...."
He turned meeting my eyes.
"It's ok. You were curious. Did they feel like you thought?"
I looked down.
"I didn't realize vampires just bit each other." I said shyly.
"Yes, in attacks or for pleasure. It just depends on the vampire I guess."
I looked at him stunned.
"Why would you want to..?" I stopped shaking my head. I did not want to know. He smirked at me and placed his hand on my shoulder.
"You must calm down."
"Really. I don't know what it is....Jasper I just..." I sighed. I wasn't worried about anything. I couldn't explain the feeling I was feeling inside but obviously it was bothering Jasper. It felt like pent up stress or energy or something of the sort. It was odd.
Jasper was getting uncomfortable and I could tell from his expression he didn't like it.
He released my shoulder and took a step back breathing heavily it was almost as if a weight was on him. I looked at him oddly.
"Jasper?"
The door slammed open and Alice was at his side in an instant. Edward was right behind her and as he moved toward me Alice grabbed his arm.
"Edward, no she can't control it."
"She's got to start somewhere." Edward said wearily as he continued toward me. He pulled me into his arms and stroked my face.
"Do you feel it Bella?" He questioned.
I knew what he was asking because I did. It was like a force of nature inside me. I nodded feeling my own breathing began to quicken. He spun me so my back was against him.
"Edward!" Alice cried from behind him. "She doesn't know what she's doing."
"We can't wait Alice. Get him in the house. I'll try to get her away from here." Edward yelled back looking at Jasper who was holding his head in Alice's arms.
Carlisle started to protest but he had me in his arms running with me. I braced myself against his chest trembling. I don't know what was wrong with everyone but something certainly was. I began to tense and he set me down holding my back against him.
"You understand how Jasper's power works?" He asked me.
"Yes, he controls environment so to speak how people feel, emotional atmosphere in subtle ways."
His lips were at my ear.
"Yes, you have a gift Bella. It is much like Jasper's but yours is stronger, not quite so subtle. If you learn to control it you will do great things. I know you will in time, until then this will be a little difficult."
I could feel myself shaking under his touch even as he held me tightly.
"Your body wants to release pent up emotions, you don't know how to channel your feelings yet. You'll learn in time. Jasper will teach you. In the mean time I'm going to ask you to do something and I need you to do it."
"Ok." I answered.
"Let it out Bella, let go."
He released me and took a few steps back.
I dropped to my knees and felt something begin to flow through me. I've never felt more frightened. I turned to Edward.
"Run."
I'm not sure if what was coming would have hurt him or not but I didn't want him anywhere near me. I didn't want to take a chance. Not with him, I love him too much. I would not allow this thing free until he was safe. I could no longer hear his footsteps and I gripped the ground looking up to the sky as pain ripped through me.
I felt a cool hand on my cheek it brushed down my neck then my arms. Gently it pressed on my chest and ribs then my abdomen.
"I think she's fine, no apparent injuries." Carlisle said and I felt his cool hand on my cheek again. He ran his hand down each leg.
"Even if something was broken it would heal rapidly, but that would take great force and I don't think she did anything out there to cause such an injury."
Edward sighed at my side. I could feel his leg nervously rocking. Jasper was close to, I could sense him.
"Edward she's very strong but she will learn to control it. Given it was her first experience with it I would say she did quite well. She didn't hurt anyone."
"Do you realize Jasper the emotions she creates are stronger than the ones you cause? It's like a cyclone hitting. There is nothing subtle about it." Edward said worried.
"It could come in handy at times."
I heard Emmett laugh.
"We could have fun with it you know."
I could only imagine Edwards glare.
"It is not fun to play with ones emotions Emmett especially to that extent, and we don't know the full extent of what she is capable of. She probably brought this over because of all of the emotional turmoil in her life. Her father's death, her relationship with her mother. It hasn't been easy for her."
"I think you're right." Carlisle agreed. "She had strong emotions before. Jasper had a way of making people see thing his way she on the other hand was strictly strong emotions and lots of them. I don't know how that carries over."
"All I know is I can pick her up very strongly and I can help her if she wants." Jasper said knowingly.
I felt Edward move closer to me and wrap his arms around my waist resting his face next to mine. It felt so good to have him close. Jasper chuckled and Edward moved a little.
"What?" I heard him ask.
"She likes that." Jasper replied standing. "I'm going to find Alice."
No fair, Edward isn't reading my mind but Jasper sure is reading my emotions. I felt Edward pull me closer to him and kiss my neck. His warm scent so sweet and intoxicating.
"Do you want me to take you up to our room?" He whispered in my ear. I snuggled into his chest and nodded yes. He slid around me and lifted me into his arms. I didn't want to talk about what happened just yet. I wasn't ready to deal with it and I think he knew that.
Laying me in our bed he pulled me close and I wrapped around him. I can't think of any where I would rather be. He lifted my chin.
"I love you."
"I love you too." I whispered back. He has no idea just how much. He looked deep into my eyes and I simply could have drowned in the depths of his golden orbs. He didn't have to say anything I knew what he wanted when his eyes looked down to my lips.
I was more than happy to kiss him and to give him anything else he might decide he wanted this night. I can't imagine feeling happier than I do right now with him by my side. It makes no sense at all and yet it makes perfect sense that we are what we are and we fit together so perfectly.
I am now a creature of the night just like him only we aren't of the night. We walk in the day when it's not sunny and we defy all of the myths. We are not anything like the fairytales. Edward is not your worst nightmare he is not a terrible person he is simply another person in this world trying to survive the best way he can.
He tries to see the good in people, the hope in life. Something about that is beautiful don't you think? In all his years he still see's good in people and never lost hope. I only hope I can have the same feelings when I am as old as he is. I can only imagine what he has seen.