A/N: Another chapter. Next chapter comes the tough stuff. Be prepared for a lot of emotions and a rather insane review:)

Status: Eek
Where: Potions

I normally don't get to write in potions, but someone apparently "vandalised" the cauldrons so we have to wait for another set to be delivered.

Oh my god though. I just had the most exciting experience ever.

So I was heading to Potions when I bumped into none other than Robert Davies. And mighty fine did he look. I couldn't resist it; I just had to make conversation.

"Hey!" I said, approaching him, "well done for Saturdays match! You did so well," I said, beaming and giving my hair a little flick, just as Alice had taught me to do.

Rob gave me a broad grin.

"Thanks Lily!" he said happily, "it's all down to the fans," he said with a wink.

"And I'm a huge fan!" my stupid mouth blurted.

A huge fan? Oh dear. He probably thinks I'm totally lame now.

But he gives me a dazzling smile and walks away.

Oh who cares? He's hot. And he said my name!

"A huge fan?" came a voice, a voice I knew all too well.

"James!" I exclaimed turning red, "funny seeing you here," I chuckle weakly.

He raises an eyebrow mockingly

"Oh I sounded like a right idiot didn't I?" I said, sighing in defeat.

James laughed out loud.

"Not at all Lils! You didn't make a fool out of yourself in front of your biggest hero!" he tells me with a wink.

"James!" I groaned unhappily, "leave me alone!"

"Anyway," he says, offended, "here I was thinking you're MY biggest fan! How wrong I was," he trails of faux sadly.

I roll my eyes.

"I am your biggest fan James. Do you want a pump for that inflated ego?"

"Really?" he asks, excitedly.

"Yes," I tell him slowly, another eye roll, "biggest fan ever, in fact, will you sign my James Potter handbook?"

"No not that bit, the bit about the pump!" he said grinning broadly.

I merely shake my head. That boy.

Anyway...back to Robert. HE SAID MY NAME. He spoke to me!

Status: Bored
Where: Behind Rob, Transfig

I've been thinking (staring at the back of Robert). There are so many things I would say to him if I had the guts to.

You know, I'm going to compile them. I call it:
THINGS I WOULD SAY TO ROBERTDAVIES IF I HAD THE GUTS TO DO SO:

Hey Rob. You know those eyes? Yes, yours. They're pretty.

Id love to see you towel-clad. Actually, it's a recurring dream of mine.

Will you marry me?

Please do me the honour of impregnating me?

Move your head out of the way so I can actually see the board? Thanks babe.

So there you have it. Things I am too shy to say to the object of my affections. Otherwise known as why I am still single. Sucks to be me.

Status: Note making with Alice
Where: Charms

Alice- I feel like we only ever talk in notes these days
Lily- Alas, that is the life of a NEWT student
Alice- But you've had plenty of time to socialize with OTHER people. Don't think I didn't notice youLily Evans. Going missing with a certain Potter for half the Quidditch party!
Lily- Oh Alice. Give me a break you were with Frank otherwise it would be you I would be stalking!
Alice- so you admit to stalking James? My oh my Lily Evans!
Lily- No! The only reason I got close to him is because of patrols actually! Were great friends now I'll have you know
Alice- boys and girls can't be friends
Lily- ahem FRANK ahem?
Alice-that's different I knew him before we had even heard of Hogwarts. Whatever Lily, I won't tell anyone about you running off to have snog fests with James.
Lily- I am not!

Snog fests? Honestly was this girl on some sort of drug?

I don't get why it's so hard for her to believe that I'm just friends with James.

Meh. Don't question Alice logic.

Status: Full
Where: Dinner time, Great Hall

I just stuffed myself so badly it's disgusting.

It truly is.

I have decided to set myself a target. And that is to CUT BACK on food. Before it becomes an obsession.

I'm not saying I'm fat or anything (I'm on the annoyingly underweight side of normal) but all this crap can't be good for my insides. I end up feeling like a ball of cheese when I'm done eating.

Bleh. Must put pen down. Cannot write.

Status: Confused
Where: Common Room

Thankfully I had a perk up potion in my trunk from a lesson we did a few days ago. So I took that and the headed to the common room and began doing (attempting to do) my homework.

Shortly after that, James came into the room and slumped down on the sofa.

"Bad day?" I ask him shortly, not looking up.

He grunted in response.

"James?" I asked, looking up now, "are you alright?"

No response. Oh well, he would tell me when he was ready.

After five minutes of silence I began to doubt this.

"You're distracting me from this amazing amount of homework," I tell him, "so unless you can help me with the fourteen steps of becoming an animagus then I suggest you go sulk somewhere else mister."

I said this jokingly, trying to ease the tension. But when he spoke his voice was cruel.

"Oh whatever Lily. Homework this homework that. You're so bloody boring," he shouted angrily and stomped to his room, slamming the door shut.

What?! Boring?! It felt like a slap in the face. I felt like I should have been angry but I really wasn't. I was dumbfounded.

Ok I knew I was ordinary but BORING was a bit harsh?

James Potter has insulted me plenty in his day, and I have him, but I don't know...maybe it's because it's the first insult he's spat at me in a year's time or the fact that he's become such a good friend, and who likes their friends shouting abuse at them?

Or maybe he just brought up some insecurity of mine.

Maybe it was all three. Either way, I felt awful. It hurt so much and I don't know why.
I'm ashamed to say that frustrated tears welled up in my eyes and I blinked them back, angry at my weakness.

Why can't I be enough for anyone?

So in these few minutes I've come to a conclusion...I must execute Mission James soon. I'll show him boring.

Status: YUM
Where: My room

So after my last entry, I gathered my things and went back to bed.

I lay there for half an hour but I just could not get to sleep.

There was then a soft knock on the door. I paused, thinking of what to do.

It was obvious who it was. Him. Was I really in the mood for more bricks being thrown at my confidence?

But I thought sod it, I couldn't sleep anyway.

So I opened the door and it revealed a pyjama wearing James Potter looking at me with a very sad face.

"Can I come in?" he asked softly, hesitating at the door with a bowl in his hands and a plate covering it.

I nodded slowly and turned on the lights, then returned to sit on my bed.

He followed me and stood awkwardly at the foot of my bed before taking a deep breath.

"I'm so so so sorry!" he began, speaking fast and mumbling, "I had an awful argument with Sirius and I was so mad I didn't know what I was saying! You're not boring at all you're really not and oh damn I really screwed up didn't I Merlin I'm an idiot I'm sorry I'll just go!" he said all of this so fast I could just make out what he said.

"For you," he added and left the bowl on my bed, turning to leave.

I pried the plate of it and saw that it was a massive helping of trace tart and some chocolate ice cream. My heart pounded in my chest. My favourite.

I felt so touched. What poor sod has ever done anything like that for me before? James had just been having a bad day. It could be forgotten.

"James!" I called and stopped him in his tracks. He turned around hesitantly, probably expecting me to chew his ear out.

"Just come here you sod. I'm trying to cut back on food," I tell him truthfully, "and there is no way I'm going to be able to eat that tart by myself," I add.

He lets out a breath he must have been holding and smiling yet hesitant, makes his way over and settles down next to me.

"So...you forgive me?" he asks, still uncertain.

"Well," I say slowly, an idea forming in my mind, "I'll be prepared to forgive you on one little condition..." I point to the chocolate ice cream with my spoon, a mad grin breaking out on my face.

"Oh Lily no! You know I hate that stuff!" he exclaimed unhappily with a grimace.

But naturally, I forced him to eat it and he almost vomited on my sheets. It was still hilarious though, for both of us.

"So," I begin after we've calmed ourselves, "what was that argument with Sirius you were going on about?"

His face clouded and his smile dropped immediately. I hate my stupid mouth for acting on its own accord sometime.

"Nothing major," he told me.

And that was all he said so I left it at that.

We managed to steer the conversation onto calmer seas and soon we were sharing tales and stuff, like usual.

It was three hours later (time really does fly) when he left for his room again, hugging me before he took the empty plates and left.

I don't know why, but the room kind of felt empty without his presence, like it lacked something.

It left me to my thoughts and so I decided to write in here.

I'm now mulling over the events of tonight and yeah, we definitely made up but somewhere in the recesses of my mind, I still worry that I have something to prove to not only James but to myself.

And my plan was this. I am going to participate in a series of dangerous activities with James just to prove to us both that I have it in me.

The first of these activities is to do some star gazing from the astronomy tower. Except, from sitting on the window of the astronomy tower.

I had done it once before back in the day when I was hormonal, angry and full of pent up emotion. It was one of the most liberating feelings ever; the view is insanely beautiful and you just feel so in control of your life.

James will love it.

A/N: Review peeeeeps. Constructive critisism welcome:)