Chapter 3: Severus Snape and a Great Idea

Remus Lupin

Remus woke up before the other Marauders every day for the next three weeks. He had a reason, however; Remus had things to plan and things to do. Since James had asked him to become friendly with Lily Evans almost a month before now, he had had to study her habits closely, but from far away, before he could even think about becoming friends with her. She was the first to wake up in the Gryffindor house, well, the second after Remus began his rituals, and she always came down to the common room to read. Remus had taken the trouble to read all of the books that she did, so that he could start conversation well enough. Lupin strode over to her one morning and decided to break the ice.

"That's an amazing book," he said, nodding at the thing in her hands. Lily jumped in shock and stared wild-eyed at Remus.

"What d'you want? I'm not going to talk to James!" Lily flashed her 'James Glare' at Remus, who was taken aback.

"I'm not here about that. I've been telling James to get over you. No, I'm here to talk about books and intelligent things… things people like Sirius can't possibly comprehend." Remus smiled at her.

"You sure don't give Sirius a lot of credit," Lily said, closing her book and placing it on the small table beside her armchair.

"Well, neither do you. But, even with all the things I say about Sirius, he's a pretty good guy… he's loyal, determined… like a puppy," Remus chuckled and Lily smiled, becoming more and more impressed by this Remus Lupin boy by the minute.

"I suppose so. I still don't want to talk to them… so, about this book. Have you read it all yet?" she asked, picking the book up once more.

"Yeah, I read it through last night," Remus said, gaining a disbelieving look from Lily. "Oh, I had a lot of free time… Sirius, James, and Peter were copying notes, and they had a lot of trouble trying to figure out how to spell 'Wolfsbane'…" Lily giggled happily and Remus swallowed hard, reminding himself that he was doing this for James, not himself.

"Well, you're sure different than I had thought at first…" Lily looked into Lupin's eyes and smiled when he started to blush, "Who are you, Remus?"

"Well that's easy. Remus John Lupin, were-uh, Wimbourne Wasp fan," Lupin was cursing himself out in his head. Not only did he reveal his middle name, which he never told anyone, but he almost said 'werewolf,' his best-kept, most important secret. Dumbledore strictly said that nobody was to know about that.

"You like the Wasps?" Lily asked, suspicious of his momentary stutter.

"Well, I did. I couldn't think of anything to say…" Remus averted his eyes and stared around the room distractedly.

"You could say 'genius,' or you could say 'friend of Lily Potter'…" Lily put her hand over her mouth quickly, blushing deep crimson.

"I thought you said you despised James…? Yet, you're already wearing his surname?" Lupin smiled at her deviously.

"It slipped! I tried to say Lily Evans and James Potter at the same time… my mind was jumbled!" Lily tried her best to cover up her little slip.

"I won't tell him." Remus breathed slowly, attempting to tell himself that this was for the best and that he could find another girl like Lily.

"Thank you… hey, why don't we go down to breakfast together? You can meet my friends!" Lily stood up motioning for Remus to follow. Several people began to appear in the common room, all newly woken and heading down to breakfast themselves.

"Uh, I don't know… James might be angry…" Remus pondered the ramifications of his actions for a moment.

"Why would he be angry? He knows I don't like him…" Lily eyed Remus suspiciously. Lupin suddenly caught himself before he made another mistake and came up with a quick, but efficient, excuse.

"Well, he's still kind of bitter about it," Remus said, shrugging slightly.

"He's too pompous for his own good. Thinks that everyone should bow to him."

"What makes you think that? What event could have possibly given you sufficient reason to come to that conclusion?" Remus interrogated her on one of the key problems between her and James.

"Just the way he acts, the things he does and says, the people he hangs out with… except for you. Befriending you might be the one smart thing he's done so far," Lily said, covering up her attack on the Marauders when Lupin shot her a bitter glare.

"Well, fine. Let's go down to the Great Hall and you can show me these friends of yours…" Remus stood up and Lily smiled.

"Great, they'll be glad to meet you! You absolutely have to meet…"

James Potter

James woke up to silence in the Gryffindor boys' dorm. No one was standing around his bed staring at him. In fact, no one was in the room at all. He dressed and went out into the common room to see if they were all out there. There was still nobody there. Thoroughly confused, James decided to just go down to breakfast alone. He arrived minutes later to a full room, and as soon as he entered, it went quiet. Professor Dumbledore eyed him from across the room. James turned red all of a sudden and shot a sweeping glance along the Gryffindor table, looking for the Marauders.

"Did I… miss… something?" James asked, becoming redder and redder every second. The silence was unbearable, so James tried to steer attention away from his tardiness, "Is this the part where I dance?"

"No, Mr. Potter," said Dumbledore, looking over his interlocked fingers, "this is where you explain yourself."

"Explain what?" James had no idea what was wrong at the moment.

"Your blatant disregard for the life of this young student. He's come and told me that you attacked him in the halls and left him to die," Dumbledore motioned to his left, where a thin, slimy looking boy stepped out from behind the great headmaster's chair.

"What? I haven't touched him!" James shouted, recognizing Severus Snape from the train at once. Why was he doing this? James only bumped into him… if anything he should be soiling Sirius' name.

"That's a lie! You attacked me and I demand retribution!" Snape snarled angrily. Dumbledore gave him the slightest of quizzical glances before returning attention to James.

"Why would Severus have any reason to lie?" Dumbledore asked simply, holding up a hand to restrain Snape's answer.

"Because he's blowing things out of proportion! I bumped into him on the Hogwarts Express, but that's all," James told the truth for the first time in a while. It didn't taste good to him.

"I see. No further questions. Tuck in!" Dumbledore smiled and continued restraining Severus, who was spitting in fury.

"Why didn't you wake me?" James asked as he came up to Sirius and Peter.

"Well, Dumbledore said not to," Peter replied, shoving a piece of ham that was as big as his hand into his mouth. He had difficulty chewing it.

"Pete, don't eat like that. You'll be bigger than Slughorn in a month…" Sirius pointed his wand at Peter's mouth, uttering a spell that reduced the slab of ham into smaller, bite-sized pieces.

"Tank oo!" Pettigrew said, speaking around his food.

"Where's Lupey?" James asked. Sirius pointed up the table, where Remus was chatting animatedly with Lily and her friends. The boy turned around when he noticed that he was being watched, gave James a smile and a thumbs up, then turned back to the girls.

"What's he doing with your girl?" Sirius asked, chewing a roasted piece of bacon.

"Oh, he's trying to become her friend so that he can make her want me from the inside. You know, the stuff you and Pete aren't smart enough for," James grinned as the two boys shouted angrily, then began to choke on their food. "You two… honestly…" James pointed his wand at the two of them to cast another spell that sent their food shooting to their bowels.

"We'll be right back!" Peter said loudly, standing up straight with wide eyes along with Sirius, and they both bolted towards the entrance hall to find the nearest bathroom. James laughed quietly to himself and eyed his wand happily.

"I love that spell," he said, waving the object in his hand nonsensically.

Remus Lupin

Remus sat beside Lily, watching as she explained her approach to Professor McGonagall's newest form of torture: turning a hummingbird into a salt shaker. She said it was all in the wrist, and you had to put an accent on the incantation. Remus could only hold himself back a few minutes before interjecting, saying that her wrist movements were wrong. He apologized promptly for being such a prick.

"Don't worry about it Remus," she said, smiling at him happily, "we're here to learn, right? If we don't help each other, it's useless right?"

"Yeah, I suppose you're right… I was wondering if you could look at my Potions notes later on? You seem a lot better at it than I am…" Remus asked, planning to drop a 'James Bomb' later on. He turned to see Lily's friends exchanging looks that made Remus want to turn back to Lily. She was blushing pink from the comment on her Potion prowess, and she had to wait a moment before responding.

"Of course I will… but really, I don't think I'm that good…" Lily took a slow spoonful of mashed potatoes and stayed silent the rest of the time. After breakfast, Remus was about to say something to Lily as they neared the entrance hall, but Severus Snape came up and started to complain about James to her.

"How can he just get off so easily with… what are you doing here? Go away you little--" Snape began, noticing Remus after a few moments.

"I believe I was talking to Miss Evans here. What are you doing here?" Remus glared at Snape. He hadn't met Snape on the train, but his little stunt at breakfast made him hate Snape instantly.

"Same thing… she's my friend… she'd never like someone like you! Get going!" Snape shoved Remus, which made Remus point his wand at Snape's throat. Lily interrupted them before Remus could utter the foulest curse he could think of.

"Severus, please… I was talking to Remus first… I'll see you in a little while, okay?" she asked, pushing the two of them apart.

"Filthy…." Snape muttered as he walked away. Remus tuned out the disgusting words that followed.

"He's a right git interrupting our conversation… and after what he tried to pull! James hasn't even touched him… prick…" Remus scowled. "Wait, he said you two were friends… what's that about?"

"We are… sort of… he listens to me, you know?" Lily said, following Remus up to the top of the staircase.

"Probably just trying to get a peek of your delicates… well, whatever. I don't have anything to say to you at the moment, so go hang out with your slimy little boyfriend," said Remus, stepping up the stairs to the main staircase.

"He's not my boyfriend… I'd never even consider him." Lily frowned and Lupin turned back to look at her.

"Why not?" he asked.

"Severus whines too much… he's always complaining about James and you all… even though I despise him too, I don't see what you've done to him…" Lily sighed, walking with Remus again.

"Well, Sirius punched him. That's all though," Remus said.

"That'd do it for him… he makes too big a deal out of everything… that's what I like about you. You let everything slip by…" Lily said, smiling and leaning towards Remus.

"Oh for goodness sakes! We're eleven!" Remus thought, "Is there no shame in the world?"

"Like about me? You like something about me?" Remus asked, looking at her curiously.

"Well, don't get me wrong… you have some admirable qualities…" Lily blushed and continued walking, though she wasn't leaning on Lupin any longer.

"All right then… well, I should probably go and talk with the Marauders now… goodbye," said Remus as he stood outside the Fat Lady's portrait.

"The Marauders?" Lily asked.

"Oh, that's the name for our little group… I came up with it you know," Remus bragged, giving the Fat Lady the password and watching as the painting swung forward to reveal a gap in the masonry that led to the common room.

"How cute!" she said.

"Yes… I was aiming for cute… thank you… now, I really must go," Remus waved and crawled through the portrait hole.

"Guess I'll go sponge up Severus' tears then… bye," Lily waved back, looking slightly disappointed, but she rushed off down the stairs all the same.

Peter Pettigrew

Peter watched as Remus Lupin entered the Gryffindor common room and James rushed over to him. They began to whisper excitedly to each other, but Peter couldn't understand what they were saying. Sirius was sitting by the fire, replying to a letter that his mother had sent him at breakfast.

"What'd she say?" Peter asked, standing behind Sirius and looking down at the letter.

"I hate you, you pathetic little prick…" Sirius said.

"If you don't want to tell me, all you had to do was say so…" Peter frowned, beginning to walk away.

"No, that's what she said. See?" Sirius showed him the letter and Peter chuckled happily.

"My mum doesn't like sending letters… not much to say, you know? My parents and I don't talk much…" Peter looked at the fire distantly.

"Hey, we're here for ya Pete. No matter how much I make fun of you, you're still my friend," Sirius said, comforting Peter Pettigrew when he felt it was needed.

"Thanks. Me too. I'd rather die than hurt you guys!" Peter said proudly, sticking out his chest powerfully.

"That's the spirit, Petey! Loyal to the end!" Sirius and Peter began to chant 'Loyalty, loyalty!' merrily until lunch.

Peter followed the Marauders down to lunch when the bell had rung, echoing across the grounds of Hogwarts resolutely. The four friends ate quickly and decided to hang out by the lake. Peter liked when they went outside the most because he was most equal to them out there. It was difficult to explain, but he felt a lot braver outside in the sun than cooped up in the castle.

"Hey, Pete," James said, turning to face them under their tree, "d'you think I'd be good at Quidditch?"

"Quidditch? Yeah, definitely! You should try out next year!" Peter replied with a grin. His policy was to always agree with James and Remus, but occasionally disagree with Sirius, and it worked out fine most of the time.

"Alright… you guys back me up on it?" James asked the other two.

"Definitely!" Sirius said. Typical.

"Of course, James," said Remus. Remus didn't always agree with James, probably because he was the only person in the group who was capable of logic.

"So, I was thinking…" Peter said to no one in particular. Remus looked up from his book and the other two turned their heads to pay attention.

"Thinking? Pete? No… well, let's hear it," Sirius said. It was his way of showing genuine interest in Peter's thoughts.

"Well, I thought, you know, since we're going to be making so much trouble… that maybe, you know, we should make, like, a map or something… an enchanted one…" Peter suggested, hoping everyone didn't laugh. The opposite happened. The Marauders all turned around one hundred percent to give full attention to Pettigrew.

"Wow, that's actually a good idea Peter," Remus said, closing his book slowly.

"Yeah, Pete. You've been holding out on us!" James grinned.

"So, what would it do? Enchanted map?" Sirius asked, watching Peter curiously.

"I don't know… maybe it would show the secret passages and how to enter them… or maybe it would show all of the people in Hogwarts…" Peter shrugged, having not thought it this far through yet.

"Well, there's a problem right there," Remus said, "we don't know any enchantments to do all of that, much less any enchantments at all… besides, we wouldn't have the time! Plus, something like that ought to get confiscated… we could never take credit for it. I mean, I'm not trying to be mean Petey, but it's a really difficult thing to do…"

"Yeah… I just thought I'd give it a whirl…" Peter looked at the grass in discouragement. Remus and Sirius exchanged a look.

"Well, hey, it was a great idea Peter!" Sirius said, patting Pettigrew on the back.

"I'll tell you what, Pete," Remus said, "I'll write this down and start researching in my spare time, okay? That way, if and when I find something, because there can't not be a spell that does that kind of thing, we'll start to work on it, okay?"

"Yeah! All right! I'll look too!" Peter said excitedly, grinning from ear to ear.

"So, Pete…" James said.

"Yeah?"

"Want to go mess with Snape? You know, as a reward for an awesome idea? I'll let you cast the first speeeeell!" James grinned, waving his wand in front of Peter tauntingly.

"Yeah!" Peter stood up with the other three Marauders as they trekked across the emerald lawn that sparkled in the sun. They came across Severus moments later, sitting with Lily. He had taken his cloak off and James whispered a good jinx that he had read about into Peter's ear. Snape's hand began to creep towards Lily's.

"Get him, Pete," James and Remus said together. James looked at Remus curiously, and he only shrugged in reply.

"Wedge Extremos!" Peter shouted. Slowly, Snape's underpants rose out of his pants. So subtly that he didn't notice at all. Then, they quickly shot upward and hung themselves on Severus' extremely protuberant nose.

"AAAAUUUGGHHH!!!" he yelled in terror, being blinded by an enormous skid mark. The Marauders tried to keep composure, but it was too funny. They burst out laughing so hard that people on the seventh floor of the castle were looking out their windows in confusion. Everyone who saw this stunt began to crack up in wild laughter… except for Lily Evans, who glared at James and helped Snape with his underpants. Severus ran at the Marauders, wand drawn. "Incendio!" A small flame shot from the tip of his wand and sped towards the four boys. Remus yawned and pointed his wand forward.

"Aguamenti," he muttered in a bored tone. A jet of water erupted from the end of his wand and collided with the flame, becoming a mess of steam and nothingness.

"We can play any time, Sevy-snookums!" Sirius shouted. "Just remember to do your laundry next time!" The Marauders and everyone else began to laugh at Snape as he tramped off angrily. Lily glared at the boys angrily before giving Lupin an especially disappointed look and darting off after Severus.

"That was awesome, Pete!" James said, shaking hands with him appreciatively. Peter smiled and laughed with his friends, glad to be more than a fourth wheel for once.