Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, or any of these Characters.

SASORI'S POV

I don't care if that person replies or not.

So why am I anxiously waiting for the mailman?

I sigh and pull the curtains over the window I was peeking out of.

'Why are you so anxious, Sasori?' I think, 'It's only been a few days. Besides, how do you even know that they have paper?'

I frown, knowing that ultimately, the voice inside my head was correct.

That sounded weird.

I flop onto the couch and sigh in boredom. Why did they have to give me a day off?

I glance around the room, taking in random empty instant ramen cups and papers strewn messily around. Maybe I should clean up?

I stand up and glace at my feet, my eyes meeting with a used condom and the book, '50 shades of Grey.' Ew, definitely not cleaning up now. Dammit, why does Yahiko always leave his stuff here?

Scrunching up my face, I kick Yahiko's shit under my desk and flop back down onto my couch.

I walk into my small-ish living room, sit down on my old maroon couch and smirk at the faded yellow envelope in my hand.

Apparently, they did have paper.

I open the envelope and begin to read.

'To Sasori,'

I raise my eyebrow. Wasn't that a bit unceremonious? Oh well.

At least they could write.

'The name's Deidara.

No last name. Just Deidara.

I'm a guy, if you couldn't tell.

You're pretty unlucky, ain't you? It seems that you did get a moron for your pen-pal. Try not to commit suicide, m'kay?'

I twitch. Wow, I guess it is possible to get pissed off at a piece of paper.

'I'm blond, naturally. Stereotypes are pretty apt, aren't they?

Hey, we actually agree. I don't give two shits about the army. I only joined because I won't amount to anything. Literally.

I'm not gonna laugh at you for the 'Avon' thing. Unless you're the make-up model. Then I'll laugh my ass off.

I'm not going to tell you my actual birthday. It's not exactly important. I will tell you that I'm a Taurus.

My parents are dead, too. I'm not going to tell you what happened. No offense, but I don't really like telling a personal thing like that to a freakin' piece of paper.

Your friends are insane? Welcome to tha' club. My only friend is a freaking idiot with ADHD. Annoying as hell.

I'm asexual, too. Life's too short for love, honestly.

My favorite color's red. I don't have a favorite food; as long as it's not pilaf it's fine.

Pilaf is gross.

I was born in Japan; Hiroshima, if you want details. My dad grew up in New York, so I grew up speaking both Japanese and English. When my parents died I was raised by my uncle in Hoboken. It's pretty close to NY.

I like proverbs, and I quote them when they make sense.

I'm a realist. And I've never had a real reason to be depressed.

I'm sort of a pyromaniac, and an arsonist. That's most likely why I joined the army, but you can have your own theory.

I never got to finish high school. Dropped out junior year for a reason I won't tell you.

I'm also not going to tell you how old I am. Haha. Who's the freakin' jackass now?

Sorry for writing such a short letter, but since you know I'm stupid, you probably won't write back.

If you do, I'll tell you some other random things that I spontaneously did not here.

Confused? You should be.

-Deidara'

I frown at his message, and then reread it. This guy certainly was… interesting.

It took me a few minutes to realize I had already begun to write Deidara a letter.

January 27, 2013;

'To Sasori,

Ugh. My roomie's a freaking moron. He spilled water all over my notebook. Then I had to wait two hours for the pages to dry before sending this to you. Honestly. These letters are the only thing keeping me sane.

I need to argue with someone. Honestly, arguing with my friend is like arguing with a door post. Or a GPS. All three are totally jack.

Which reminds me. Art is fleeting, you douche.

-Deidara'

January 30, 2013;

'Dear Deidara,

I find your roommate both nauseating and amusing. Amusing because he annoys you to the point of suicide.

Besides, since when were you ever sane?

I whole-heartedly disagree with you. Art is most definitely eternal.

Sincerely,

Sasori Akasuna'

February 1, 2013;

'To Sasori,

I've been sane ever since your douche bag-esque way of speaking and/or writing made me so. You should be a freakin' shrink. All of your patients would be cured in a matter of minutes.

Also… Geijutsu wa isshun, kansuidesu!*

Try arguing with that.

My roomie read some of the letters. He thinks you're a girl.

And that we're flirting.

I am very much disturbed.

-Deidara'

February 4, 2013;

'Dear Deidara,

Do you speak from experience? I wouldn't be surprised, honestly. Who blows shit up for fun?

Art is eternal, stupid. You do realize that I have Google translate, right? I'm not an idiot.

And for that last part…

No comment.

What's your roomie's name? He reminds me of my best friend. That guy is a serious perv. I found a bunch of play-boys in his room. You don't want to know what was on them.

I'd also like to know how old you are. I'd be very bothered if you were, like, fifty-eight. That would be creepy…

Sincerely,

Sasori Akasuna'

February 6, 2013;

'To Sasori,

Hell yes, I speak from experience. But, didn't you say you were diagnosed as clinically depressed? Doesn't that mean you visited a shrink as well? That question was rhetorical.

I honestly didn't know that you had Google translate. From the way you write I had assumed that you didn't have a computer. Then again, I suppose even douche bags get bored.

My roomie's name is Madara, nickname's Tobi. He's not a pervert, but he's… a hopeless romantic, honestly. And he may or may not be bi-curious. I know what was on the play-boys. I'd be afraid to enter his room after that. Check his house for sex-slaves.

I'm not fifty-eight. I'm fifty-seven.

Nah, I'm just kidding. But seriously though, I'm not fifty-eight. Subtract forty-one from fifty-eight. That's my age. Don't be all shocked, you probably saw that coming. My birthday's in May, so I'm technically a legal adult. Technically.

Dropped out of school two years ago, and I've been in the army for almost as long.

Don't ask me how a sixteen year-old managed to enroll in the army. I think we were really short of footmen. (AKA, kids ready to commit suicide.)

But I haven't committed suicide. Yet, anyway.

-Deidara'

February 7, 2013;

'Dear Deidara,

I went to a psychiatrist. Not a shrink. There's no difference, but psychiatrist sounds more professional.

I'm honestly going to ignore that second paragraph. If you were standing beside me when you said/wrote that, I'd probably slap you like the little bitch you are.

Heh. Even in anger I'm monotonous.

Madara? As in Madara Uchiha? My best friend Yahiko writes to him. Small world, huh?

I trust that you are seventeen, it's just… really hard to believe. I mean, you're out there risking your life to fight the governments fight and you're… you're just a kid! I have developed a sense of respect for you now.

I know it isn't my problem but… Please don't commit suicide. Don't ask why. Just please don't kill yourself.

Sincerely,

Sasori Akasuna'

February 9, 2013;

'To Sasori,

Aw. You care about me! Admit it! You do! That's so sweet~

I'm just messing with you. But… Thanks. I'm seriously grateful. Before you and Madara, There was no one I could even remotely consider a 'friend.' Thanks. For being there. For existing.

…And for writing me that first letter.

You're a really cool guy, Akasuna. You need to get out there, live a little, and laugh a little more. You hate your job. I know it's "practical", and everything but… you want to be an artist.

So be an artist.

You might fall down, but you'll get back up. Because you are the most stubborn bastard I've ever known.

You need to go live, Sasori. For the both of us.

-Deidara'

So that's exactly what Sasori did.

I'm glad I 'met' Deidara. Because I did, he got me to accomplish a lot of things;

I quit my job-

I walked straight into my boss's room and told her to go fuck herself.

Everyone's reaction was funny as hell.

That's the first time I've laughed since my parents died. And honestly… it felt good.

'My uncle's still alive. I know it's morbid… but I wish he wasn't. I really do.

-Deidara'

I opened my own art shop-

It's pretty small and kind of dusty, but it's getting there. I make about ten bucks a day, and it pays all of my bills and leaves enough to buy food. It's not much but I enjoy it. And that's all that really counts.

Deidara would be proud of me.

'From the time between when my parents died (age three) to just before I joined the army (age sixteen), my uncle hit me. Hard.

I had to wear make-up to cover the bruises. Had to pretend that I was okay. I got a lot of practice with lying.

-Deidara'

I talk to and see my friends daily-

All of them. Even Deidara.

As soon as I got that letter from Deidara, I called Yahiko and initiated an Akatsuki get together at our old hang-out. When I got there I was grinning, and that grin soon to laughter when I saw the incredulous looks on my friend's faces.

Konan questioned if I was alright, and Hidan asked Yahiko, with a few choice swear words, if he injected me with anti-depressants.

I just realized how much I love my friends.

'I'm not going to amount to anything. Really, I'm not.

I was diagnosed with a disease that causes my lungs to swell and bleed. I can cough out all of the blood, but only expensive surgery will stop and remove the swelling. I can't afford that surgery, and because of that, it'll continue to swell until it'll close off my lungs and make me die a slow, painful death.

This is estimated to happen when I turn twenty-two.

I can't accomplish much in that amount of time.

-Deidara'

I cleaned up my house-

This is honestly self-explanatory, but if Deidara never told me to get off my lazy-ass, I'd never do it.

I found an old picture of me and my parents and my first ever puppets, Hiruko and Sandaime.

I owe Deidara big time.

'I have a little brother.

When my parents died, we were sent to different people. He was sent to our grandfather, and I was sent to our mother's brother. Both were our respective godfathers. I think my parents did that on purpose.

They used to lock me outside on Christmas.

-Deidara'

I met him-

I met Deidara. That's a huge perk in itself.

I laugh as Kakuzu pours his Coke on Hidan's head. Then laugh even harder as a swearing Hidan chases Kakuzu out of the Burger Shop we are eating in.

Itachi raises an eyebrow at me, but says nothing. Turns out he's Madara's distant cousin. Go figure.

"Sasori," says Konan, pouting slightly, "I'm happy that you're content for once, but honestly, the thought of a happy-go-lucky Sasori scares the shit out of me. What apocalyptic force caused this drastic change?"

Hidan, suddenly back from trying to murder (and/or rape. It's the same thing with Hidan) Kakuzu, drapes his arms around me and declares, "He's either an Alien in disguise as Saso, or… he got laid!" He taps his chin, pretending to ponder, and muses, "Considering this is Sasori… it's prob'ly the former."

I poke him in the cheek with my plastic fork and mutter, "At least I have done the latter…"

Kisame gasps from his seat on the other side of the table. "No death threats? It's the Armageddon!"

Everyone, including me, burst out laughing.

My friends are freaking morons.

But they're my morons.

Yahiko walks into my apartment and whistles. "Wow, when there's no shit in here, this place is kinda nice."

"I know!" I exclaim, "Did you know that my bedroom has a closet?"

Yahiko blinks. "Wait a second," asks the ginger confusedly, "You have a bedroom?"

I roll my eyes and pick his book off the kitchen table, tossing it to him with disdain. "Here's your… porno."

Yahiko blinks at me and grins. "This isn't mine," he states cheekily, "This is my grandad's."

I suddenly feel queasy. "Dude!" I exclaim, "What if your little cousin reads this?"

"Sasori," he retorts playfully, "Naru's fifteen. He'll probably just get an erection from reading this. Nothing more or less."

I twitch as a dark blush stains my cheeks. Ew. Ew. Ew. Get those images out of my head. Ew. Ew. Ew. They are officially wiped from my memory…

"You're frickin' sick," I spit out, narrowing my eyes at him.

"I know," he laughs, ruffling my hair, "Now, let's call up the others and go to the bar."

When Yahiko and I got to the bar, Hidan was (naturally) already drunk.

The bar wasn't that big or popular, but it still had the blaring music, good drinks, and skanks in stripper heels. I sat down in the seat next to Hidan, his drunk rambling turning into my white-noise. I can't help but think that Deidara would probably ramble. I mean, if he was here…

Okay Sasori. You barely even know him. Stop depressing yourself.

I smile as the others tell the waitress to bring the first round, and drink the beer quickly.

Why do I feel like something horrible is going on?

He's fine, Sasori.

It's not like he's going to die, right?

I've already drunken four beers, and, being a lightweight, am completely drunk. My vision is fuzzy, but my heart keeps dropping. What's going on? Why am I being so paranoid? My friends are asking me if I'm alright, but I stand and smile and ask if Kisame (the only completely sober one) could drive me home. He reluctantly agrees and leads me out into his car.

My heart beat is really fast now. Why am I so afraid? Nothing has happened… right? Right?

I open the front door and my heart stops. A letter was lying on may floor, presumably being pushed through my mail slot.

Deidara wrote me a letter.

I pick up the letter and stumble into my living room, haphazardly opening the envelope and reading the letter. My heart stops.

I drop the paper and stare wide eyed at the wall.

'To Sasori,

A great man once said, "You fall several times- you get up eight."

As soon as I heard that, I thought of you. Because your life is like a rollercoaster. Because your parents died, and then you grew up to be my life's motivation.

The only real reason you're falling is because people are tripping you.

I really wish I grew up in New York. Then I would have met you.

But if I did that, then, I guess Madara would be tripping, huh?

But still. I only hope that we'll meet each other eventually. For real.

I'm stalling, aren't I?

What I'm trying to say is…

I've been assigned to a Kamikaze mission. It's a suicide bombing and…

And I'm not going to come back.

-Deidara'

A/N: Hate me? :D

*"Art is fleeting, douche!"

I haven't finished- or started- chappie three. I have a lot to think about... like, Minecraft. My farm on that takes shit loads of work to manage. D: