When he awakes the next morning- early; the sun has just started to rise- it is with a warmth inside and out of his body. Ziva is restricted to lying flat on her back because of her shoulder injury, but Tony is pressed up against her good side, his arm slung over her middle. Last time they shared this bed, he hadn't dared to hold her like this.
Things have changed since then, though.
Actually, things have changed since yesterday.
Last night had been a whirlwind. One moment, Tony was as hopeless as he'd ever been about convincing her to give their relationship a shot, and the next moment, he felt a glimmer of hope when she asked if he still wanted it. And after he responded that he always would, she looked him straight in the face, opened her mouth to say something, and then didn't.
She just kissed him.
He balked, but only because he hadn't been expecting it. Quickly he regained his wits (or, rather, as many as he could with her warm mouth pressed against his) and kissed her back. Although they held each other gently and the kiss was slow, it felt terribly passionate, and sitting on a bed in a dark room didn't help; in the end, it was probably Ziva's shoulder that prevented them from going further than they did. They were in the process of lying down when she shifted the wrong way and pulled away from him, gasping in pain, and immediately Tony's focus was on making sure she was okay.
That incident effectively killed the mood, but as he settled into bed beside her- with the intent only of sleeping- things were not awkward. He easily took her in his arms, and her head lolled onto his shoulder, and they drifted off, their breath mingling together.
Now here he is, waking up beside her on what must be the best morning after of his life, which is ironic, since there are no clothes discarded on the floor. It's less about what happened than who it happened with; it's her.
Finally, finally, it is Ziva.
He presses his face into her hair in what he thinks is a covert way, but she breathes in sharply and he feels her jerk awake. With a grimace he pulls away and looks into her wide open eyes. "Sorry."
"It's okay," Ziva says, her hand drifting lazily across his chest. "Did you sleep well?"
Tony cannot fight the grin that finds its way to his lips. "Very well. You?"
"I did." Her words are accompanied by a soft smile, her first of the morning. "I like this."
He doesn't need her to clarify what this is; he knows. And he likes it, too.
Eventually, they do get up and prepare for work. First, however, there is a long interval of time during which they lay in bed together as if they don't have a care in the world.
0000000000
Like a grenade, their cares reappear and explode in the span of one second- the second in which they pull into the parking lot of the temporary NCIS offices and spot Leroy Jethro Gibbs disappearing through the front door.
"Oh, jeez," Tony groans as he parks in an empty spot and turns off the car. "I didn't even think about him." As ridiculous as it seems, it's true; he has been too caught up in Ziva over the past nine hours to spare a fear for what their boss would say. Now they are here, in the vicinity of rule number twelve, and Gibbs has proved to Tony that he will enforce it- or at least be extremely perturbed by an infraction of it.
"We do not need to say anything today," Ziva says. "Let's just act normal."
He knows what she means and where she's coming from, and he even knows that she is right. Still, he can't help feeling a little bit like he's been punched in the stomach. Turning toward her, he says quietly, "I don't want our normal to be what it has been. I want to create a new normal."
She smiles at him, and it feels like the world stops turning. I am such a love struck idiot, he thinks as she places a hand on his cheek and his skin tingles.
"We will create a new normal, she reassures him. "We have already begun to. But not here. Not yet. I am not sure the others are ready. It has still only been three weeks since the bombing. Ducky just got home, McGee is in the hospital…"
Tony nods his understanding.
That balancing act between team and personal needs will continue.
0000000000
When they enter the MCRT's room, they are startled to find Abby in one corner, wrestling with a tall purple lamp as Gibbs looks on. Tony and Ziva both pause just inside the doorway. Their staring goes unnoticed.
"Uh, Abs?" Tony asks, dropping his backpack on his desk and walking up behind Gibbs. "Whatcha doin'?"
"I came in here with Gibbs for a little while after we went to Ducky's last night, and I couldn't believe how dark and depressing it is! So I dug out this old lamp for you guys; it was in my college dorm." She finally gets the lamp the way she wants it and holds up the plug. "Here we go!"
The three of them watch her plug the lamp in. The dusty light bulb flickers pitifully, and then burns out altogether. Abby frowns. "You guys got light bulbs around here?"
"If we do, I have no idea where they are." Gibbs kisses her on the cheek before sitting in his desk chair. "Thanks for trying."
"I'll bring some back later," she says stubbornly. "There will be light!"
On her way out the door, she gives all three of them a hug; once she's gone, Tony says, "She seems chipper."
"We're all on our way back to normal," Gibbs says, and the other two agents share a quick, loaded glance. The boss doesn't notice; he goes on to tell them that there are no cases and that yet another day is to be spent replacing paper files destroyed in the explosion. It's boring, mindless work, but at the same time, Tony finds it a bit therapeutic. After all that has happened, it's nice not to be dealing with death.
Paperwork also means relative quiet- Gibbs is there, and he never puts up with their banter for long- which makes it a lot easier for Tony and Ziva to not do anything to give themselves away. The morning passes to the music of staplers and the copy machine and pencils scratching on paper, and their lunch break actually seems to come quickly. They walk to Tony's car with a good two feet of space between them, and even when he is driving out of the parking lot, they both keep their hands strictly to themselves. Once they have driven about a block, Tony says, "We're doing good."
"I agree."
"He's clueless."
"For now," she warns. "He will find out."
He cringes at her tone. As they slow for a red light, he turns toward her and asks, "You aren't… you aren't gonna go back now, are you?"
Ziva exhales through her nose as if she is exasperated, but she is looking at him affectionately. She takes his face in her good hand and leans over the console. "Tony, listen to me. I am not going to play games with you. I am not going to yank you around. I decided I wanted this, too, and I will stand by it, come hell or Gibbs."
"You know that's not the phrase, right?"
She shrugs. "I know the phrase has the word 'hell' in it. And 'Gibbs' seems fitting, anyway."
"Fair enough," Tony says with a smirk. It only takes a couple seconds for the smirk to completely fade in favor of a more serious demeanor. "So we're really doing this?"
"We are really doing this."
Her affirmation causes his heart to lift again. He closes his eyes as she kisses him, and then he leans forward to kiss her nose for no reason other than it is there.
YAY, SOMETHING GOOD HAPPENED.
Thank you for reading!