Disclaimer: JKR owns all Harry Potter characters and ideas.

A/N: MegZ - Heeeeey! thiz iz an..uhm..intresting chptr. lol i hope u lyke it. moki wrote sum of the parts..mostly the odd ones. thx 2 all the reviewers!

Moki - eh.. (o.O)

CHAPTER ELEVEN: Jo-Jo

Harry and Jade played in the water for about a few hours until Jackie called them in for dinner. Dinner went surprisingly well and Draco didn't have one insult or glare aimed for Harry, but in fact it was aimed for Johnny. The two blondes despised each other even more than Draco and Potter. After dinner they all squeezed onto the living room couch to watch the movie Jade had rented to prove them that her anaconda was not dangerous at all.

Turns out it sort of backfired.

"WHAT THE BLOODY HELL WAS THAT!" Draco squeaked after the movie. Anacondas seemed to be about a killer anaconda that killed everyone in the movie. "Okay, I'm leaving this zoo! Hermione, are you coming?" He started walking up the stairs to his room.

Before Hermione had a chance to reply a figure emerged from the shadows and grabbed Draco around the waist.

"DRACO!" Hermione screamed as the figure pulled him into the shadows.

"AAAAAAAAAH!" Draco squealed like a girl as he wrestled with the figure. His expression resembled the horror he felt the day Hermione was about to hex him in third year. "HERMIONE, JADE, SOMEBODY HELP ME!" he shrieked.

Jade walked over to the stairs and flicked on the light. Holding Draco was a giant anaconda.

"WHAT THE HELL?" Draco screamed as he turned around and saw what was apparently holding him. "THE KILLER ANACONDA!" Draco was practically crying when Jade ordered the creature to put him down.

"Jo-Jo! Mommy's home!" squealed Jade and hugged the giant snake. "How is my little Jo-Jo?" she asked like she was talking to a baby.

"Your bloody snake just ATTACKED me!" Draco yelled. His hair was a mess and his voice was sore from screaming so much. He was about to yell a bit more when Johnny had to point out something on his pants.

"Blonde Boy wet his pants!" Johnny exclaimed and started rolling on the floor with laughter. Everyone started at that particular wet spot on Draco's pants and everyone started with a fit of laughter. Everyone but Draco, of course. He just flushed in embarrassment, but recovered quickly and went back to "Malfoy-mode" and acted like nothing happened.

"What are you laughing at, Potter? I'm sure you would've done the same thing if a killer anaconda attacked you! I bet you'd scream like a girl!" Draco retorted.

"Well, Malfoy, you did scream like a girl," Harry pointed out. Then the usual bickering came on as Potter and Malfoy tried to hex each other.

Jackie entered the room and looked around. Then she left.

"Okay…" Jade drifted off. "My mom was like…there…HAHAHA U PEED IN YOUR PANTS!" Jade announced again. "No hard feelings, Draco. I remember Johnny wetting the bed last month."

"I DID-"

"HAHAHA! U DID! What? Have you been wetting the bed lately, buddy boy?" Draco teased.

"HAHAHAHA…ha? I don't get it?" Jade asked. Everyone fell stunned, well except Johnny, he kind of knows she's…"lost" in her own…magical world filled with purple giraffes and orange bouncing hippos… ANYWAY! "What is it? Do you get it? Am I supposed to get it?" she asked her stunned friends.

"Well, yeah you're supposed to get it," Hermione said unsure. "Jeez…talk about clueless," she muttered.

"You know, it's hard to believe you two are related," Harry commented.

"I AM NOT STUPID! I just have…issues! You have a problem with that, PUNK?" Jade's mood went from confused to furious. "Sorry," she apologized, "Issues…anyway I'm not stupid. I just happen to have a…different…point of view of everything okay?"

"Cha, sure!" Johnny sarcastically said.

"Well, ok then I'm going to leave this awkward conversation," Draco said grimly as he walked up the stairs, careful to stay away from Jo-Jo.

"Wait, where are you going?" Hermione asked. At first he sort of mumbled in reply. "Sorry I didn't quite catch that," Hermione said.

"I'm—I'm going to get pants," Draco mumbled. "Probably take a shower. Get cleaned…damn it, woman, what do you think I'm going to do?" He yelled in frustration and stomped up the stairs. Hermione walked up after him while Jade and Johnny were arguing no one noticed the giant snake following Hermione up.

"Sorry to interrupt, but—" Harry started.

"Hey lover boy do us all a favor and get Jo-Jo before blonde boy takes a shit instead." Johnny said going back to arguing with Jade who just punched him in the face giving him a bloody nose.

"Damn it, Johnny! Do you ever shut up?" Jade rebuked. She stormed off going upstairs, leaving Harry and a bloody nosed brother.

"She's so kind…." Harry drifted off dreamily.

"You have no idea… this happens like… every other day." Johnny said. "Oh don't just stand there. Could yah get me a tissue or something?" Johnny said as Harry helped him up.

next chapter: weasleys! how does ron react? -dramatic music plays-